itsuka ushinatte shimau no ka na...
Private
I didn't think it would hurt this much. I didn't think it would hurt to find out two of the most important people in my world had been going behind my back--it shouldn't. It shouldn't. I should not have allowed myself to become so weak.
I have always been self-reliant; when did I change so much?
I have always decided things for myself; when did I begin allowing others to request things of me?
...Envy worried about Laxchine and my relationship. Should I not be worrying more about them?
It hurts, yes... but I think I am more disappointed in myself than the two of them.
I should have anticipated something like this, of course. I have never had any sort of luck, I have always had to work for everything--I should not have thought that something so wonderful could have simply fallen into my lap.
This is due in part to myself.
[[No-one should be able to see that this entry was even made.]]