Ficlet
sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving
I can't watch her slip away
I wont let you fall apart
He went outside and lit up his cigarette, watching the smoke dance around in the air and it got him thinking theree has to be moere eto life than this...I can't live here anymore and have more things happen... everytime we come back, something happens Jay walked into her room ''hey''
she heard his voice and closed her eyes "what are you doing here?"
'I wanted to see you''
"you've enough" she felt like she was going to cry
he hobbled on his crutches and sat in the chair and looked at her wedding ring '' nice ring''
she rolled over and looked at him "yeah, it is. isn't it"
''shame... '' he stroked her cheek '' we coulda had fun Lexxi''
"don't touch me" she grit her teeth
''oh come on now... you know you still want me'' he kissed her
she closed her eyes and let him kiss her lips. she was too weak to do anything else
Sean came back and saw them '' get the fuck off her''
she layed there like a board
''do something motherfucker'' Sean grabbed him and pinned him to the wall and said quietly '' touch her again and I swear to god I will kill you''
"sean" she said softly "stop" as Jay punched him in the mouth and dragged him out
''stay away from her Cameron''
"stop" she shook her head "stop stop stop"
he let go '' watch you back Cameron''
he walked back in and sat in the chair as she was curled up into a ball and kept her eyes closed
''baby... what's going on'' she started crying as he asked
''we're moving''
"no" she cried out
''everytime we come back, something happns''
"i can't think about that right now" she sat up "I CAN HARDY TALK TO PEOPLE AND ALL YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT IS MOVING" she screamed
''I WANT YOU SAFE'' he eyelled to compete with her
"i'm in a hospital, i cant be any safer"
''what about after, huh''
"i can't think about that"
'baby, I just want you safe''
"face it sean..i'm not safe..i'll never be safe"
''what's going on... is... is he stalking you''
"no" she shook her head
''then what''
"this is my home.."
''I know... but I just want you to be safe''
"i haven't been safe my whole life and i've done fine"
'' I know... I just want to make everything right'' he said quietly
"i know sean..it's too late though"
''what about us... I mean I can save us right'' he let a tear drop, all he seemed to do lately is cry
she nodded "i just..need..to get better"
''and I want to help yopu''
"you can't.. I've talked to much.. i'm gunna be quiet now"
''baby.. please'', desparation filled his voice
"i can't talk sean. i feel like i'm going to be sick when i do"
''let me help you... I hate seeing you this way'' he looked down '' it's my fault''
she shook her head "no, it's not"
he looked at her, his eyes were bloodshot from a mixture of tears and sleep deprivation '' I should have stayed home... none of this would have happened... I should have stayed...'''
"baby.." she sighed "don't ok..stop"
he looked down and let another tear fall '' I failed''
"no" she shook her head "you didn't"
''I could have done more'' he said sadly
"no, you're an amazing person"
it sprung him... he nedded to get her out for a while, ''come for a walk'' he took her hand
she nodded and got up walking with him
he took her up to the roof as t he sun rose '' I just wanna make you feel safe
he wrapped his arms around her as he stood behind her '' he's not gonna hurt you again''
she shivered at his touch "don't touch me please" she said softly
he let go and got up on the ledge and stood there, he couldn't breathe... it was as if his entire world came crashing down
"baby..come back" she cried
he sat down '' I can't breathe here
"where do you want to go?"
'' I don't know... you wnat to stay... and I don't...''
"leave then"
'' not without you..''
"this is me..this town is where i live"
''what if he kills you next time''
"he's not going to"
he turned around and hopped off '' I just anna keep you safe''
"i will be" she nodded "i promise"
''I just wanna hold you... you wont even let me touch you''
"i'm sorry" she looked down "just everything keeps coming back to me"
'' what really happened...'' he breathed, he was just really scared for her
"i don't want to talk about it!"
'' baby I just wanna help you'' he was getting more worried
"sean i know" she gulped "i just can't keep thinking about it. it needs to snow again"
'' is that the only way I can get close now... if it snows'' he said tears welling
she nodded "it's my best friend remember" she started to cry
he went to hold her, he put his hands on her shouldeers lightly as it started to snow ''please... just let me back in''
"it's so hard sean" she cried softly as she shook a little feeling his hand
he laced his fingers wit hers and look into her eyes, his hurt to even stay open but he managed it barely '' I love you... and all I want is to seeee you smile again, I feel like it's my fault this happened''
"it's not your fault" she looked into his eyes, hers were slightly pink "i..love..you too" she looked down
he picked her chin up gently and looked deeper into them '' I'll fix it... I promise''
she nodded in his hand "just give me time"
''I could feel what you felt... everything they did to you'' he said quietly
she nodded "i'm sorry.. no one should feel that"
'you're a part of me Lex... I feel what you feel, I know it sounds crazy but I could feel what they did...I love you''
she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and cried into his chest
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watdching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
she nodded "kind of like snow" she laughed slightly as she sat down on the freshly covered roof he sat with her ''' I wanted to kill myself last night... I thought I was gonna lose you''
"why?" she looked at him "i'm not going anywhere sean"
''everythings getting too much... don't worry, I didn't cut or anything''
"good" she nodded "i'm proud of you"
he laid his head on her shoulder '' we're never gonna get out of this town are we''
she shook her head "nope" she laughed as she played with the snow in her hands
he hated the thought of staying there to rot, just as much as he hated what was happening to her...
he could see what was once a happy person was now just an empty shell... and the only time he ould talk to her was during the snow, part him felt lost to her
she stuck her tongue out and caught snow flakes on her tongue
he watched her reverting to a childlike manner, he knew... even though they were happily married and now had two children, Jay took away her innocence, he took away everything he'd earned to get from her... her trust, her love, he had tainted her and he knew after that moment they'd never be the same '' I love you'' he smiled blankly, he loved her so much it was killing him to see her this way
she put her tongue back into her mouth and looked over to him "i love you too" she nodded
''I wanna go to the park'' he smiled
"i can't leave can i?"
'' for the day you can'' he smiled '' I've got everything set up''
"ok" she smiled :lets go"
he grabbed her hand and they ran out to the car , and drove to the park, he opened the door for her and sat on the swings
she sat next to him "this is nice"
he started to swing '' I knew it'd make you happy'' he hid hot tears that were forming in his eyes '' you were happy once... with me... I'm losing you aren't I''
"yeah" she started swinging something was going on in her mind that doing childhood like activites made her happy "i don't remember much" she sighed
''about us'' he looked at her and stopped swinging
"no" she kept swining "were married, i love you, we have two girls"
'' come here'' he smiled, she stopped and got off her swing and went over to him and sat on his lap. He snaked his arms around her waist and held her as they started to swing lightly ''at night I lay awake just to watch you sleep, to hear you breathe, it makes me feel happy to know that you're safe right there next to me''
"i miss our bed" she nodded "it's comfy. and big and i miss you"
'' I miss being able to have you in my arms at night, we don't even have to talk , I can just lay there and hold you''
"can't we do that tonight?" she tilted her head like a confused puppy dog
''yeah'' he smiled sadly, he knew something was on her mind, he also knew she wasn't going to tell him so he didn't press the issue he just kept swinging with her holding her as close as he could
she put her head against his chest as the snow feel she held onto him tight as she closed her eyes as he kept swinging with her, and thought I want my wife back, I want my life back... I just want this al to end and just make her happy, I want to fix her''
she kissed his chest softly she tried thinking but she couldn't get the rape off her mind
'' you ok'' he knew it was a dumb question but asked anyway
"what do you think?" she lifted her hed and looked at him
''yeah, stupid question''
she laughed "i want to be ok..i just can't"
'' it'll happen'' he said with more than a hint of false hope and kissed her softly as the rain started to fall '' I'll fix you'' he smiled slightly '' I wanna just take you away from everything that's making you crazy''
she kissed him back softly "i'm sorry i'm like this"
he nodded, he knew he couldn't save her...
this was one disaster he couldn't fix, he felt helpless the very core of him felt dead inside, all he wanted to feel was that razor gliding across his now pale white skin, he wanted to see the blood form patterns in the sink as he let himself succumb to the only form of pain he could control
she leaned back down holding onto him tight. she didn't want to feel this way, it's just how it made her. "you're my sunshine after the rain" she said softly
he said softly '' all I do is fail you''
''thats not true at all" she replied "you've kept me alive"
''I can't save you if Ii can't even save myself'' he said quietly as he let a single tear escape
"you've saved me more then you'll ever know" she sighed
he sighed '' I feel like I'm losing you'' he looked down '' no matter how hard I hold on you're "i'm just not myself anymore..but i'll always be yours"
''I was an innocent kid up until I was 3... I know what losing your innocence is all about'' he said quietly, he didn't want to be right
"i wanna be 3 again"
''I don't... I don't want the abuse'' he said somberly as he rested his head on her shoulder. He neede her as much as she needed him, thoughts of the abuse he suffered as a child started coming back to him
"when i was 5. i had a playschool plastic house. i used to go in it every morning and make my mom fake eggs"
''when I was 5 I had my mom flick cigarettes at me and tell me '' wake up shithead and make me breakfast, then afterwards we'll play our special game'' he couldn't look her in the eeye
"sorry" she sighed "chad..on my 6th birthday...threw me into a wall"
''I don't remember my 6th birthday... I was in hospital nearly dead''
"seems like were in the same boat"
'' they had this game on my 7th birthday, '' make Sean the human piniata
''they'd string me from a tree and hit me with a baseball bat''
"5th grade. first day of school. i was litterally dragged to the bus stop by my hair" she gulped
'' you know what my 13th birthday present was '' he said lighting a cigarette and giving her one
"what?" she took it and took a long drag she hadn't smoked in a few days
he sighed '' my mom came in, stubbed a cigarette out on my leg and then told me she loved me so much she wanted me to make love to her, I didn't so she pinned me and did it herself... she slapped me evertime I fought her''
"we're such fuck ups..it's like i deserved to be raped"
he looked at her '' you don't deserve any of that''
"i do" she nodded
''no... you deserve someone that treats you like a princess... someone who loves you no matter what, someone who'd kill for you, or die efor you'' he started to cry '' I'd kill for you... I'd kill myself for you if it made you happy''
she hugged him tight as she started to cry "you're my prince charming" she said softly
he cried with her, holding her as close as he could '' I would die if it meant I got to have you''
"you have me baby..we need eachother" she continued to cry
'' I need you'' he kissed her
she kissed him back. this was this first time she really kissed him since what happened "i need you too" he deepened the kiss shyly
she kissed him back romantically then pulled back and just looked at him
he gazed into her eyes, it was as if he already knew all of her thoughts he whispered '' I know''
"i'm sorry" she looked away
he looked at her again '' it wasn't your fault''
she nodded "were gunna just..have too..be slow"
''I think it'd be wrong of me to sleep with you right now'' he said sadly '' it wouldn't be right''
"i couldn't..i just couldn't do that.." she got off his lap and walked away
he followed her '' that's what Im saying... that we eshouldn't and we wont... not until you're ready''
"but i know how important it is..and you love it" she sighed
'' so... knowing you're ok is far more important to me''
she nodded "you're not..gunna cheat again..right?" she looked down
''I swear on my life that I wont''
"ok" she said softly
''all I care about right now is making sure you're gonna be ok'' he said sincerely, he didn't care about sleeping with her, it was trivial; he just wanted to help her
she nodded "i really need you"
''and I'm here... without even having to ask me''
"thank you baby" she grabbed his hands
'' you love someone as strong as I love you.... there's no need to thank them'' he smiled slightly
she smiled "well i love you, with all my heart"
'' it sometimes feel like I knew you in another life''
she nodded "i agree"
he said quietly '' we were always meant to be''
she leaned her forehead against his "forever"
'' I think I honestly found my true love'' he said quietly as he kissed her softly
she smiled against his mouth "me too..thank you for everything"
'' don't thank me'' he smiled '' sometimes I think I don't deserve someone as amazing as you''
"but you do" she nodded "we're meant or eachother"
e kissed her as he felt like everything was moving in slowmotion around them and they were the only ones there '' I wont let this get in the way...nothing's gonna keep us apart again''
"i need to go back..i feel weak" she sighed as she kissed him
he took her hand and rover her back to the hospital, little did they know Jay had been watching them the whole time
she walked with him as they got back to her room. she crawled into ber bed and cuddled up with the blanket
he snuggled in with her and held her close to him '' I love you''
"i love you too" she said softly looking out the window
he nuzzled into her neck, he felt more calm than ever... all of that was about to change..He went outside and lit up his cigarette, watching the smoke dance around in the air and it got him thinking theree has to be moere eto life than this...I can't live here anymore and have more things happen... everytime we come back, something happens Jay walked into her room ''hey''
she heard his voice and closed her eyes "what are you doing here?"
'I wanted to see you''
"you've enough" she felt like she was going to cry
he hobbled on his crutches and sat in the chair and looked at her wedding ring '' nice ring''
she rolled over and looked at him "yeah, it is. isn't it"
''shame... '' he stroked her cheek '' we coulda had fun Lexxi''
"don't touch me" she grit her teeth
''oh come on now... you know you still want me'' he kissed her
she closed her eyes and let him kiss her lips. she was too weak to do anything else
Sean came back and saw them '' get the fuck off her''
she layed there like a board
''do something motherfucker'' Sean grabbed him and pinned him to the wall and said quietly '' touch her again and I swear to god I will kill you''
"sean" she said softly "stop" as Jay punched him in the mouth and dragged him out
''stay away from her Cameron''
"stop" she shook her head "stop stop stop"
he let go '' watch you back Cameron''
he walked back in and sat in the chair as she was curled up into a ball and kept her eyes closed
''baby... what's going on'' she started crying as he asked
''we're moving''
"no" she cried out
''everytime we come back, something happns''
"i can't think about that right now" she sat up "I CAN HARDY TALK TO PEOPLE AND ALL YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT IS MOVING" she screamed
''I WANT YOU SAFE'' he eyelled to compete with her
"i'm in a hospital, i cant be any safer"
''what about after, huh''
"i can't think about that"
'baby, I just want you safe''
"face it sean..i'm not safe..i'll never be safe"
''what's going on... is... is he stalking you''
"no" she shook her head
''then what''
"this is my home.."
''I know... but I just want you to be safe''
"i haven't been safe my whole life and i've done fine"
'' I know... I just want to make everything right'' he said quietly
"i know sean..it's too late though"
''what about us... I mean I can save us right'' he let a tear drop, all he seemed to do lately is cry
she nodded "i just..need..to get better"
''and I want to help yopu''
"you can't.. I've talked to much.. i'm gunna be quiet now"
''baby.. please'', desparation filled his voice
"i can't talk sean. i feel like i'm going to be sick when i do"
''let me help you... I hate seeing you this way'' he looked down '' it's my fault''
she shook her head "no, it's not"
he looked at her, his eyes were bloodshot from a mixture of tears and sleep deprivation '' I should have stayed home... none of this would have happened... I should have stayed...'''
"baby.." she sighed "don't ok..stop"
he looked down and let another tear fall '' I failed''
"no" she shook her head "you didn't"
''I could have done more'' he said sadly
"no, you're an amazing person"
it sprung him... he nedded to get her out for a while, ''come for a walk'' he took her hand
she nodded and got up walking with him
he took her up to the roof as t he sun rose '' I just wanna make you feel safe
he wrapped his arms around her as he stood behind her '' he's not gonna hurt you again''
she shivered at his touch "don't touch me please" she said softly
he let go and got up on the ledge and stood there, he couldn't breathe... it was as if his entire world came crashing down
"baby..come back" she cried
he sat down '' I can't breathe here
"where do you want to go?"
'' I don't know... you wnat to stay... and I don't...''
"leave then"
'' not without you..''
"this is me..this town is where i live"
''what if he kills you next time''
"he's not going to"
he turned around and hopped off '' I just anna keep you safe''
"i will be" she nodded "i promise"
''I just wanna hold you... you wont even let me touch you''
"i'm sorry" she looked down "just everything keeps coming back to me"
'' what really happened...'' he breathed, he was just really scared for her
"i don't want to talk about it!"
'' baby I just wanna help you'' he was getting more worried
"sean i know" she gulped "i just can't keep thinking about it. it needs to snow again"
'' is that the only way I can get close now... if it snows'' he said tears welling
she nodded "it's my best friend remember" she started to cry
he went to hold her, he put his hands on her shouldeers lightly as it started to snow ''please... just let me back in''
"it's so hard sean" she cried softly as she shook a little feeling his hand
he laced his fingers wit hers and look into her eyes, his hurt to even stay open but he managed it barely '' I love you... and all I want is to seeee you smile again, I feel like it's my fault this happened''
"it's not your fault" she looked into his eyes, hers were slightly pink "i..love..you too" she looked down
he picked her chin up gently and looked deeper into them '' I'll fix it... I promise''
she nodded in his hand "just give me time"
''I could feel what you felt... everything they did to you'' he said quietly
she nodded "i'm sorry.. no one should feel that"
'you're a part of me Lex... I feel what you feel, I know it sounds crazy but I could feel what they did...I love you''
she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and cried into his chest
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watdching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
she nodded "kind of like snow" she laughed slightly as she sat down on the freshly covered roof he sat with her ''' I wanted to kill myself last night... I thought I was gonna lose you''
"why?" she looked at him "i'm not going anywhere sean"
''everythings getting too much... don't worry, I didn't cut or anything''
"good" she nodded "i'm proud of you"
he laid his head on her shoulder '' we're never gonna get out of this town are we''
she shook her head "nope" she laughed as she played with the snow in her hands
he hated the thought of staying there to rot, just as much as he hated what was happening to her...
he could see what was once a happy person was now just an empty shell... and the only time he ould talk to her was during the snow, part him felt lost to her
she stuck her tongue out and caught snow flakes on her tongue
he watched her reverting to a childlike manner, he knew... even though they were happily married and now had two children, Jay took away her innocence, he took away everything he'd earned to get from her... her trust, her love, he had tainted her and he knew after that moment they'd never be the same '' I love you'' he smiled blankly, he loved her so much it was killing him to see her this way
she put her tongue back into her mouth and looked over to him "i love you too" she nodded
''I wanna go to the park'' he smiled
"i can't leave can i?"
'' for the day you can'' he smiled '' I've got everything set up''
"ok" she smiled :lets go"
he grabbed her hand and they ran out to the car , and drove to the park, he opened the door for her and sat on the swings
she sat next to him "this is nice"
he started to swing '' I knew it'd make you happy'' he hid hot tears that were forming in his eyes '' you were happy once... with me... I'm losing you aren't I''
"yeah" she started swinging something was going on in her mind that doing childhood like activites made her happy "i don't remember much" she sighed
''about us'' he looked at her and stopped swinging
"no" she kept swining "were married, i love you, we have two girls"
'' come here'' he smiled, she stopped and got off her swing and went over to him and sat on his lap. He snaked his arms around her waist and held her as they started to swing lightly ''at night I lay awake just to watch you sleep, to hear you breathe, it makes me feel happy to know that you're safe right there next to me''
"i miss our bed" she nodded "it's comfy. and big and i miss you"
'' I miss being able to have you in my arms at night, we don't even have to talk , I can just lay there and hold you''
"can't we do that tonight?" she tilted her head like a confused puppy dog
''yeah'' he smiled sadly, he knew something was on her mind, he also knew she wasn't going to tell him so he didn't press the issue he just kept swinging with her holding her as close as he could
she put her head against his chest as the snow feel she held onto him tight as she closed her eyes as he kept swinging with her, and thought I want my wife back, I want my life back... I just want this al to end and just make her happy, I want to fix her''
she kissed his chest softly she tried thinking but she couldn't get the rape off her mind
'' you ok'' he knew it was a dumb question but asked anyway
"what do you think?" she lifted her hed and looked at him
''yeah, stupid question''
she laughed "i want to be ok..i just can't"
'' it'll happen'' he said with more than a hint of false hope and kissed her softly as the rain started to fall '' I'll fix you'' he smiled slightly '' I wanna just take you away from everything that's making you crazy''
she kissed him back softly "i'm sorry i'm like this"
he nodded, he knew he couldn't save her...
this was one disaster he couldn't fix, he felt helpless the very core of him felt dead inside, all he wanted to feel was that razor gliding across his now pale white skin, he wanted to see the blood form patterns in the sink as he let himself succumb to the only form of pain he could control
she leaned back down holding onto him tight. she didn't want to feel this way, it's just how it made her. "you're my sunshine after the rain" she said softly
he said softly '' all I do is fail you''
''thats not true at all" she replied "you've kept me alive"
''I can't save you if Ii can't even save myself'' he said quietly as he let a single tear escape
"you've saved me more then you'll ever know" she sighed
he sighed '' I feel like I'm losing you'' he looked down '' no matter how hard I hold on you're "i'm just not myself anymore..but i'll always be yours"
''I was an innocent kid up until I was 3... I know what losing your innocence is all about'' he said quietly, he didn't want to be right
"i wanna be 3 again"
''I don't... I don't want the abuse'' he said somberly as he rested his head on her shoulder. He neede her as much as she needed him, thoughts of the abuse he suffered as a child started coming back to him
"when i was 5. i had a playschool plastic house. i used to go in it every morning and make my mom fake eggs"
''when I was 5 I had my mom flick cigarettes at me and tell me '' wake up shithead and make me breakfast, then afterwards we'll play our special game'' he couldn't look her in the eeye
"sorry" she sighed "chad..on my 6th birthday...threw me into a wall"
''I don't remember my 6th birthday... I was in hospital nearly dead''
"seems like were in the same boat"
'' they had this game on my 7th birthday, '' make Sean the human piniata
''they'd string me from a tree and hit me with a baseball bat''
"5th grade. first day of school. i was litterally dragged to the bus stop by my hair" she gulped
'' you know what my 13th birthday present was '' he said lighting a cigarette and giving her one
"what?" she took it and took a long drag she hadn't smoked in a few days
he sighed '' my mom came in, stubbed a cigarette out on my leg and then told me she loved me so much she wanted me to make love to her, I didn't so she pinned me and did it herself... she slapped me evertime I fought her''
"we're such fuck ups..it's like i deserved to be raped"
he looked at her '' you don't deserve any of that''
"i do" she nodded
''no... you deserve someone that treats you like a princess... someone who loves you no matter what, someone who'd kill for you, or die efor you'' he started to cry '' I'd kill for you... I'd kill myself for you if it made you happy''
she hugged him tight as she started to cry "you're my prince charming" she said softly
he cried with her, holding her as close as he could '' I would die if it meant I got to have you''
"you have me baby..we need eachother" she continued to cry
'' I need you'' he kissed her
she kissed him back. this was this first time she really kissed him since what happened "i need you too" he deepened the kiss shyly
she kissed him back romantically then pulled back and just looked at him
he gazed into her eyes, it was as if he already knew all of her thoughts he whispered '' I know''
"i'm sorry" she looked away
he looked at her again '' it wasn't your fault''
she nodded "were gunna just..have too..be slow"
''I think it'd be wrong of me to sleep with you right now'' he said sadly '' it wouldn't be right''
"i couldn't..i just couldn't do that.." she got off his lap and walked away
he followed her '' that's what Im saying... that we eshouldn't and we wont... not until you're ready''
"but i know how important it is..and you love it" she sighed
'' so... knowing you're ok is far more important to me''
she nodded "you're not..gunna cheat again..right?" she looked down
''I swear on my life that I wont''
"ok" she said softly
''all I care about right now is making sure you're gonna be ok'' he said sincerely, he didn't care about sleeping with her, it was trivial; he just wanted to help her
she nodded "i really need you"
''and I'm here... without even having to ask me''
"thank you baby" she grabbed his hands
'' you love someone as strong as I love you.... there's no need to thank them'' he smiled slightly
she smiled "well i love you, with all my heart"
'' it sometimes feel like I knew you in another life''
she nodded "i agree"
he said quietly '' we were always meant to be''
she leaned her forehead against his "forever"
'' I think I honestly found my true love'' he said quietly as he kissed her softly
she smiled against his mouth "me too..thank you for everything"
'' don't thank me'' he smiled '' sometimes I think I don't deserve someone as amazing as you''
"but you do" she nodded "we're meant or eachother"
e kissed her as he felt like everything was moving in slowmotion around them and they were the only ones there '' I wont let this get in the way...nothing's gonna keep us apart again''
"i need to go back..i feel weak" she sighed as she kissed him
he took her hand and rover her back to the hospital, little did they know Jay had been watching them the whole time
she walked with him as they got back to her room. she crawled into ber bed and cuddled up with the blanket
he snuggled in with her and held her close to him '' I love you''
"i love you too" she said softly looking out the window
he nuzzled into her neck, he felt more calm than ever... all of that was about to change..
I can't watch her slip away
I wont let you fall apart
He went outside and lit up his cigarette, watching the smoke dance around in the air and it got him thinking theree has to be moere eto life than this...I can't live here anymore and have more things happen... everytime we come back, something happens Jay walked into her room ''hey''
she heard his voice and closed her eyes "what are you doing here?"
'I wanted to see you''
"you've enough" she felt like she was going to cry
he hobbled on his crutches and sat in the chair and looked at her wedding ring '' nice ring''
she rolled over and looked at him "yeah, it is. isn't it"
''shame... '' he stroked her cheek '' we coulda had fun Lexxi''
"don't touch me" she grit her teeth
''oh come on now... you know you still want me'' he kissed her
she closed her eyes and let him kiss her lips. she was too weak to do anything else
Sean came back and saw them '' get the fuck off her''
she layed there like a board
''do something motherfucker'' Sean grabbed him and pinned him to the wall and said quietly '' touch her again and I swear to god I will kill you''
"sean" she said softly "stop" as Jay punched him in the mouth and dragged him out
''stay away from her Cameron''
"stop" she shook her head "stop stop stop"
he let go '' watch you back Cameron''
he walked back in and sat in the chair as she was curled up into a ball and kept her eyes closed
''baby... what's going on'' she started crying as he asked
''we're moving''
"no" she cried out
''everytime we come back, something happns''
"i can't think about that right now" she sat up "I CAN HARDY TALK TO PEOPLE AND ALL YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT IS MOVING" she screamed
''I WANT YOU SAFE'' he eyelled to compete with her
"i'm in a hospital, i cant be any safer"
''what about after, huh''
"i can't think about that"
'baby, I just want you safe''
"face it sean..i'm not safe..i'll never be safe"
''what's going on... is... is he stalking you''
"no" she shook her head
''then what''
"this is my home.."
''I know... but I just want you to be safe''
"i haven't been safe my whole life and i've done fine"
'' I know... I just want to make everything right'' he said quietly
"i know sean..it's too late though"
''what about us... I mean I can save us right'' he let a tear drop, all he seemed to do lately is cry
she nodded "i just..need..to get better"
''and I want to help yopu''
"you can't.. I've talked to much.. i'm gunna be quiet now"
''baby.. please'', desparation filled his voice
"i can't talk sean. i feel like i'm going to be sick when i do"
''let me help you... I hate seeing you this way'' he looked down '' it's my fault''
she shook her head "no, it's not"
he looked at her, his eyes were bloodshot from a mixture of tears and sleep deprivation '' I should have stayed home... none of this would have happened... I should have stayed...'''
"baby.." she sighed "don't ok..stop"
he looked down and let another tear fall '' I failed''
"no" she shook her head "you didn't"
''I could have done more'' he said sadly
"no, you're an amazing person"
it sprung him... he nedded to get her out for a while, ''come for a walk'' he took her hand
she nodded and got up walking with him
he took her up to the roof as t he sun rose '' I just wanna make you feel safe
he wrapped his arms around her as he stood behind her '' he's not gonna hurt you again''
she shivered at his touch "don't touch me please" she said softly
he let go and got up on the ledge and stood there, he couldn't breathe... it was as if his entire world came crashing down
"baby..come back" she cried
he sat down '' I can't breathe here
"where do you want to go?"
'' I don't know... you wnat to stay... and I don't...''
"leave then"
'' not without you..''
"this is me..this town is where i live"
''what if he kills you next time''
"he's not going to"
he turned around and hopped off '' I just anna keep you safe''
"i will be" she nodded "i promise"
''I just wanna hold you... you wont even let me touch you''
"i'm sorry" she looked down "just everything keeps coming back to me"
'' what really happened...'' he breathed, he was just really scared for her
"i don't want to talk about it!"
'' baby I just wanna help you'' he was getting more worried
"sean i know" she gulped "i just can't keep thinking about it. it needs to snow again"
'' is that the only way I can get close now... if it snows'' he said tears welling
she nodded "it's my best friend remember" she started to cry
he went to hold her, he put his hands on her shouldeers lightly as it started to snow ''please... just let me back in''
"it's so hard sean" she cried softly as she shook a little feeling his hand
he laced his fingers wit hers and look into her eyes, his hurt to even stay open but he managed it barely '' I love you... and all I want is to seeee you smile again, I feel like it's my fault this happened''
"it's not your fault" she looked into his eyes, hers were slightly pink "i..love..you too" she looked down
he picked her chin up gently and looked deeper into them '' I'll fix it... I promise''
she nodded in his hand "just give me time"
''I could feel what you felt... everything they did to you'' he said quietly
she nodded "i'm sorry.. no one should feel that"
'you're a part of me Lex... I feel what you feel, I know it sounds crazy but I could feel what they did...I love you''
she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and cried into his chest
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watdching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
she nodded "kind of like snow" she laughed slightly as she sat down on the freshly covered roof he sat with her ''' I wanted to kill myself last night... I thought I was gonna lose you''
"why?" she looked at him "i'm not going anywhere sean"
''everythings getting too much... don't worry, I didn't cut or anything''
"good" she nodded "i'm proud of you"
he laid his head on her shoulder '' we're never gonna get out of this town are we''
she shook her head "nope" she laughed as she played with the snow in her hands
he hated the thought of staying there to rot, just as much as he hated what was happening to her...
he could see what was once a happy person was now just an empty shell... and the only time he ould talk to her was during the snow, part him felt lost to her
she stuck her tongue out and caught snow flakes on her tongue
he watched her reverting to a childlike manner, he knew... even though they were happily married and now had two children, Jay took away her innocence, he took away everything he'd earned to get from her... her trust, her love, he had tainted her and he knew after that moment they'd never be the same '' I love you'' he smiled blankly, he loved her so much it was killing him to see her this way
she put her tongue back into her mouth and looked over to him "i love you too" she nodded
''I wanna go to the park'' he smiled
"i can't leave can i?"
'' for the day you can'' he smiled '' I've got everything set up''
"ok" she smiled :lets go"
he grabbed her hand and they ran out to the car , and drove to the park, he opened the door for her and sat on the swings
she sat next to him "this is nice"
he started to swing '' I knew it'd make you happy'' he hid hot tears that were forming in his eyes '' you were happy once... with me... I'm losing you aren't I''
"yeah" she started swinging something was going on in her mind that doing childhood like activites made her happy "i don't remember much" she sighed
''about us'' he looked at her and stopped swinging
"no" she kept swining "were married, i love you, we have two girls"
'' come here'' he smiled, she stopped and got off her swing and went over to him and sat on his lap. He snaked his arms around her waist and held her as they started to swing lightly ''at night I lay awake just to watch you sleep, to hear you breathe, it makes me feel happy to know that you're safe right there next to me''
"i miss our bed" she nodded "it's comfy. and big and i miss you"
'' I miss being able to have you in my arms at night, we don't even have to talk , I can just lay there and hold you''
"can't we do that tonight?" she tilted her head like a confused puppy dog
''yeah'' he smiled sadly, he knew something was on her mind, he also knew she wasn't going to tell him so he didn't press the issue he just kept swinging with her holding her as close as he could
she put her head against his chest as the snow feel she held onto him tight as she closed her eyes as he kept swinging with her, and thought I want my wife back, I want my life back... I just want this al to end and just make her happy, I want to fix her''
she kissed his chest softly she tried thinking but she couldn't get the rape off her mind
'' you ok'' he knew it was a dumb question but asked anyway
"what do you think?" she lifted her hed and looked at him
''yeah, stupid question''
she laughed "i want to be ok..i just can't"
'' it'll happen'' he said with more than a hint of false hope and kissed her softly as the rain started to fall '' I'll fix you'' he smiled slightly '' I wanna just take you away from everything that's making you crazy''
she kissed him back softly "i'm sorry i'm like this"
he nodded, he knew he couldn't save her...
this was one disaster he couldn't fix, he felt helpless the very core of him felt dead inside, all he wanted to feel was that razor gliding across his now pale white skin, he wanted to see the blood form patterns in the sink as he let himself succumb to the only form of pain he could control
she leaned back down holding onto him tight. she didn't want to feel this way, it's just how it made her. "you're my sunshine after the rain" she said softly
he said softly '' all I do is fail you''
''thats not true at all" she replied "you've kept me alive"
''I can't save you if Ii can't even save myself'' he said quietly as he let a single tear escape
"you've saved me more then you'll ever know" she sighed
he sighed '' I feel like I'm losing you'' he looked down '' no matter how hard I hold on you're "i'm just not myself anymore..but i'll always be yours"
''I was an innocent kid up until I was 3... I know what losing your innocence is all about'' he said quietly, he didn't want to be right
"i wanna be 3 again"
''I don't... I don't want the abuse'' he said somberly as he rested his head on her shoulder. He neede her as much as she needed him, thoughts of the abuse he suffered as a child started coming back to him
"when i was 5. i had a playschool plastic house. i used to go in it every morning and make my mom fake eggs"
''when I was 5 I had my mom flick cigarettes at me and tell me '' wake up shithead and make me breakfast, then afterwards we'll play our special game'' he couldn't look her in the eeye
"sorry" she sighed "chad..on my 6th birthday...threw me into a wall"
''I don't remember my 6th birthday... I was in hospital nearly dead''
"seems like were in the same boat"
'' they had this game on my 7th birthday, '' make Sean the human piniata
''they'd string me from a tree and hit me with a baseball bat''
"5th grade. first day of school. i was litterally dragged to the bus stop by my hair" she gulped
'' you know what my 13th birthday present was '' he said lighting a cigarette and giving her one
"what?" she took it and took a long drag she hadn't smoked in a few days
he sighed '' my mom came in, stubbed a cigarette out on my leg and then told me she loved me so much she wanted me to make love to her, I didn't so she pinned me and did it herself... she slapped me evertime I fought her''
"we're such fuck ups..it's like i deserved to be raped"
he looked at her '' you don't deserve any of that''
"i do" she nodded
''no... you deserve someone that treats you like a princess... someone who loves you no matter what, someone who'd kill for you, or die efor you'' he started to cry '' I'd kill for you... I'd kill myself for you if it made you happy''
she hugged him tight as she started to cry "you're my prince charming" she said softly
he cried with her, holding her as close as he could '' I would die if it meant I got to have you''
"you have me baby..we need eachother" she continued to cry
'' I need you'' he kissed her
she kissed him back. this was this first time she really kissed him since what happened "i need you too" he deepened the kiss shyly
she kissed him back romantically then pulled back and just looked at him
he gazed into her eyes, it was as if he already knew all of her thoughts he whispered '' I know''
"i'm sorry" she looked away
he looked at her again '' it wasn't your fault''
she nodded "were gunna just..have too..be slow"
''I think it'd be wrong of me to sleep with you right now'' he said sadly '' it wouldn't be right''
"i couldn't..i just couldn't do that.." she got off his lap and walked away
he followed her '' that's what Im saying... that we eshouldn't and we wont... not until you're ready''
"but i know how important it is..and you love it" she sighed
'' so... knowing you're ok is far more important to me''
she nodded "you're not..gunna cheat again..right?" she looked down
''I swear on my life that I wont''
"ok" she said softly
''all I care about right now is making sure you're gonna be ok'' he said sincerely, he didn't care about sleeping with her, it was trivial; he just wanted to help her
she nodded "i really need you"
''and I'm here... without even having to ask me''
"thank you baby" she grabbed his hands
'' you love someone as strong as I love you.... there's no need to thank them'' he smiled slightly
she smiled "well i love you, with all my heart"
'' it sometimes feel like I knew you in another life''
she nodded "i agree"
he said quietly '' we were always meant to be''
she leaned her forehead against his "forever"
'' I think I honestly found my true love'' he said quietly as he kissed her softly
she smiled against his mouth "me too..thank you for everything"
'' don't thank me'' he smiled '' sometimes I think I don't deserve someone as amazing as you''
"but you do" she nodded "we're meant or eachother"
e kissed her as he felt like everything was moving in slowmotion around them and they were the only ones there '' I wont let this get in the way...nothing's gonna keep us apart again''
"i need to go back..i feel weak" she sighed as she kissed him
he took her hand and rover her back to the hospital, little did they know Jay had been watching them the whole time
she walked with him as they got back to her room. she crawled into ber bed and cuddled up with the blanket
he snuggled in with her and held her close to him '' I love you''
"i love you too" she said softly looking out the window
he nuzzled into her neck, he felt more calm than ever... all of that was about to change..He went outside and lit up his cigarette, watching the smoke dance around in the air and it got him thinking theree has to be moere eto life than this...I can't live here anymore and have more things happen... everytime we come back, something happens Jay walked into her room ''hey''
she heard his voice and closed her eyes "what are you doing here?"
'I wanted to see you''
"you've enough" she felt like she was going to cry
he hobbled on his crutches and sat in the chair and looked at her wedding ring '' nice ring''
she rolled over and looked at him "yeah, it is. isn't it"
''shame... '' he stroked her cheek '' we coulda had fun Lexxi''
"don't touch me" she grit her teeth
''oh come on now... you know you still want me'' he kissed her
she closed her eyes and let him kiss her lips. she was too weak to do anything else
Sean came back and saw them '' get the fuck off her''
she layed there like a board
''do something motherfucker'' Sean grabbed him and pinned him to the wall and said quietly '' touch her again and I swear to god I will kill you''
"sean" she said softly "stop" as Jay punched him in the mouth and dragged him out
''stay away from her Cameron''
"stop" she shook her head "stop stop stop"
he let go '' watch you back Cameron''
he walked back in and sat in the chair as she was curled up into a ball and kept her eyes closed
''baby... what's going on'' she started crying as he asked
''we're moving''
"no" she cried out
''everytime we come back, something happns''
"i can't think about that right now" she sat up "I CAN HARDY TALK TO PEOPLE AND ALL YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT IS MOVING" she screamed
''I WANT YOU SAFE'' he eyelled to compete with her
"i'm in a hospital, i cant be any safer"
''what about after, huh''
"i can't think about that"
'baby, I just want you safe''
"face it sean..i'm not safe..i'll never be safe"
''what's going on... is... is he stalking you''
"no" she shook her head
''then what''
"this is my home.."
''I know... but I just want you to be safe''
"i haven't been safe my whole life and i've done fine"
'' I know... I just want to make everything right'' he said quietly
"i know sean..it's too late though"
''what about us... I mean I can save us right'' he let a tear drop, all he seemed to do lately is cry
she nodded "i just..need..to get better"
''and I want to help yopu''
"you can't.. I've talked to much.. i'm gunna be quiet now"
''baby.. please'', desparation filled his voice
"i can't talk sean. i feel like i'm going to be sick when i do"
''let me help you... I hate seeing you this way'' he looked down '' it's my fault''
she shook her head "no, it's not"
he looked at her, his eyes were bloodshot from a mixture of tears and sleep deprivation '' I should have stayed home... none of this would have happened... I should have stayed...'''
"baby.." she sighed "don't ok..stop"
he looked down and let another tear fall '' I failed''
"no" she shook her head "you didn't"
''I could have done more'' he said sadly
"no, you're an amazing person"
it sprung him... he nedded to get her out for a while, ''come for a walk'' he took her hand
she nodded and got up walking with him
he took her up to the roof as t he sun rose '' I just wanna make you feel safe
he wrapped his arms around her as he stood behind her '' he's not gonna hurt you again''
she shivered at his touch "don't touch me please" she said softly
he let go and got up on the ledge and stood there, he couldn't breathe... it was as if his entire world came crashing down
"baby..come back" she cried
he sat down '' I can't breathe here
"where do you want to go?"
'' I don't know... you wnat to stay... and I don't...''
"leave then"
'' not without you..''
"this is me..this town is where i live"
''what if he kills you next time''
"he's not going to"
he turned around and hopped off '' I just anna keep you safe''
"i will be" she nodded "i promise"
''I just wanna hold you... you wont even let me touch you''
"i'm sorry" she looked down "just everything keeps coming back to me"
'' what really happened...'' he breathed, he was just really scared for her
"i don't want to talk about it!"
'' baby I just wanna help you'' he was getting more worried
"sean i know" she gulped "i just can't keep thinking about it. it needs to snow again"
'' is that the only way I can get close now... if it snows'' he said tears welling
she nodded "it's my best friend remember" she started to cry
he went to hold her, he put his hands on her shouldeers lightly as it started to snow ''please... just let me back in''
"it's so hard sean" she cried softly as she shook a little feeling his hand
he laced his fingers wit hers and look into her eyes, his hurt to even stay open but he managed it barely '' I love you... and all I want is to seeee you smile again, I feel like it's my fault this happened''
"it's not your fault" she looked into his eyes, hers were slightly pink "i..love..you too" she looked down
he picked her chin up gently and looked deeper into them '' I'll fix it... I promise''
she nodded in his hand "just give me time"
''I could feel what you felt... everything they did to you'' he said quietly
she nodded "i'm sorry.. no one should feel that"
'you're a part of me Lex... I feel what you feel, I know it sounds crazy but I could feel what they did...I love you''
she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and cried into his chest
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
he lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge watdching the smoke dance in the air '' it's funny how smoke from a cigarette looks like it's dancing, like it has no cares, no plans of where it's going... just endlessly moving to nowhere... you ever notice that'' he said quietly
she nodded "kind of like snow" she laughed slightly as she sat down on the freshly covered roof he sat with her ''' I wanted to kill myself last night... I thought I was gonna lose you''
"why?" she looked at him "i'm not going anywhere sean"
''everythings getting too much... don't worry, I didn't cut or anything''
"good" she nodded "i'm proud of you"
he laid his head on her shoulder '' we're never gonna get out of this town are we''
she shook her head "nope" she laughed as she played with the snow in her hands
he hated the thought of staying there to rot, just as much as he hated what was happening to her...
he could see what was once a happy person was now just an empty shell... and the only time he ould talk to her was during the snow, part him felt lost to her
she stuck her tongue out and caught snow flakes on her tongue
he watched her reverting to a childlike manner, he knew... even though they were happily married and now had two children, Jay took away her innocence, he took away everything he'd earned to get from her... her trust, her love, he had tainted her and he knew after that moment they'd never be the same '' I love you'' he smiled blankly, he loved her so much it was killing him to see her this way
she put her tongue back into her mouth and looked over to him "i love you too" she nodded
''I wanna go to the park'' he smiled
"i can't leave can i?"
'' for the day you can'' he smiled '' I've got everything set up''
"ok" she smiled :lets go"
he grabbed her hand and they ran out to the car , and drove to the park, he opened the door for her and sat on the swings
she sat next to him "this is nice"
he started to swing '' I knew it'd make you happy'' he hid hot tears that were forming in his eyes '' you were happy once... with me... I'm losing you aren't I''
"yeah" she started swinging something was going on in her mind that doing childhood like activites made her happy "i don't remember much" she sighed
''about us'' he looked at her and stopped swinging
"no" she kept swining "were married, i love you, we have two girls"
'' come here'' he smiled, she stopped and got off her swing and went over to him and sat on his lap. He snaked his arms around her waist and held her as they started to swing lightly ''at night I lay awake just to watch you sleep, to hear you breathe, it makes me feel happy to know that you're safe right there next to me''
"i miss our bed" she nodded "it's comfy. and big and i miss you"
'' I miss being able to have you in my arms at night, we don't even have to talk , I can just lay there and hold you''
"can't we do that tonight?" she tilted her head like a confused puppy dog
''yeah'' he smiled sadly, he knew something was on her mind, he also knew she wasn't going to tell him so he didn't press the issue he just kept swinging with her holding her as close as he could
she put her head against his chest as the snow feel she held onto him tight as she closed her eyes as he kept swinging with her, and thought I want my wife back, I want my life back... I just want this al to end and just make her happy, I want to fix her''
she kissed his chest softly she tried thinking but she couldn't get the rape off her mind
'' you ok'' he knew it was a dumb question but asked anyway
"what do you think?" she lifted her hed and looked at him
''yeah, stupid question''
she laughed "i want to be ok..i just can't"
'' it'll happen'' he said with more than a hint of false hope and kissed her softly as the rain started to fall '' I'll fix you'' he smiled slightly '' I wanna just take you away from everything that's making you crazy''
she kissed him back softly "i'm sorry i'm like this"
he nodded, he knew he couldn't save her...
this was one disaster he couldn't fix, he felt helpless the very core of him felt dead inside, all he wanted to feel was that razor gliding across his now pale white skin, he wanted to see the blood form patterns in the sink as he let himself succumb to the only form of pain he could control
she leaned back down holding onto him tight. she didn't want to feel this way, it's just how it made her. "you're my sunshine after the rain" she said softly
he said softly '' all I do is fail you''
''thats not true at all" she replied "you've kept me alive"
''I can't save you if Ii can't even save myself'' he said quietly as he let a single tear escape
"you've saved me more then you'll ever know" she sighed
he sighed '' I feel like I'm losing you'' he looked down '' no matter how hard I hold on you're "i'm just not myself anymore..but i'll always be yours"
''I was an innocent kid up until I was 3... I know what losing your innocence is all about'' he said quietly, he didn't want to be right
"i wanna be 3 again"
''I don't... I don't want the abuse'' he said somberly as he rested his head on her shoulder. He neede her as much as she needed him, thoughts of the abuse he suffered as a child started coming back to him
"when i was 5. i had a playschool plastic house. i used to go in it every morning and make my mom fake eggs"
''when I was 5 I had my mom flick cigarettes at me and tell me '' wake up shithead and make me breakfast, then afterwards we'll play our special game'' he couldn't look her in the eeye
"sorry" she sighed "chad..on my 6th birthday...threw me into a wall"
''I don't remember my 6th birthday... I was in hospital nearly dead''
"seems like were in the same boat"
'' they had this game on my 7th birthday, '' make Sean the human piniata
''they'd string me from a tree and hit me with a baseball bat''
"5th grade. first day of school. i was litterally dragged to the bus stop by my hair" she gulped
'' you know what my 13th birthday present was '' he said lighting a cigarette and giving her one
"what?" she took it and took a long drag she hadn't smoked in a few days
he sighed '' my mom came in, stubbed a cigarette out on my leg and then told me she loved me so much she wanted me to make love to her, I didn't so she pinned me and did it herself... she slapped me evertime I fought her''
"we're such fuck ups..it's like i deserved to be raped"
he looked at her '' you don't deserve any of that''
"i do" she nodded
''no... you deserve someone that treats you like a princess... someone who loves you no matter what, someone who'd kill for you, or die efor you'' he started to cry '' I'd kill for you... I'd kill myself for you if it made you happy''
she hugged him tight as she started to cry "you're my prince charming" she said softly
he cried with her, holding her as close as he could '' I would die if it meant I got to have you''
"you have me baby..we need eachother" she continued to cry
'' I need you'' he kissed her
she kissed him back. this was this first time she really kissed him since what happened "i need you too" he deepened the kiss shyly
she kissed him back romantically then pulled back and just looked at him
he gazed into her eyes, it was as if he already knew all of her thoughts he whispered '' I know''
"i'm sorry" she looked away
he looked at her again '' it wasn't your fault''
she nodded "were gunna just..have too..be slow"
''I think it'd be wrong of me to sleep with you right now'' he said sadly '' it wouldn't be right''
"i couldn't..i just couldn't do that.." she got off his lap and walked away
he followed her '' that's what Im saying... that we eshouldn't and we wont... not until you're ready''
"but i know how important it is..and you love it" she sighed
'' so... knowing you're ok is far more important to me''
she nodded "you're not..gunna cheat again..right?" she looked down
''I swear on my life that I wont''
"ok" she said softly
''all I care about right now is making sure you're gonna be ok'' he said sincerely, he didn't care about sleeping with her, it was trivial; he just wanted to help her
she nodded "i really need you"
''and I'm here... without even having to ask me''
"thank you baby" she grabbed his hands
'' you love someone as strong as I love you.... there's no need to thank them'' he smiled slightly
she smiled "well i love you, with all my heart"
'' it sometimes feel like I knew you in another life''
she nodded "i agree"
he said quietly '' we were always meant to be''
she leaned her forehead against his "forever"
'' I think I honestly found my true love'' he said quietly as he kissed her softly
she smiled against his mouth "me too..thank you for everything"
'' don't thank me'' he smiled '' sometimes I think I don't deserve someone as amazing as you''
"but you do" she nodded "we're meant or eachother"
e kissed her as he felt like everything was moving in slowmotion around them and they were the only ones there '' I wont let this get in the way...nothing's gonna keep us apart again''
"i need to go back..i feel weak" she sighed as she kissed him
he took her hand and rover her back to the hospital, little did they know Jay had been watching them the whole time
she walked with him as they got back to her room. she crawled into ber bed and cuddled up with the blanket
he snuggled in with her and held her close to him '' I love you''
"i love you too" she said softly looking out the window
he nuzzled into her neck, he felt more calm than ever... all of that was about to change..