on art and terror...
"It means that we attack one another, that we may collide; it means that we may argue, doubt each other, offer alternatives. It means that feisty doubt and a lively atmosphere will exist between us. It means that I will probably feel foolish and unprepared as a result."
i've been reading this fantastic book called 'a director prepares' by anne bogart. she's written seven essays on directing each with a theme in mind... as it relates to life, to art, to directing and creation. it's taking me forever to read, because with every page, there is so much to think about... i have to take it in in small pieces to give myself the time to process it. in many ways, she has captured my outlook on life, and all of a sudden i have found words explaining why i do this. why i balance science and art, and why i live the way that i do. and why i feel turmoil...
last night was a night of dragging the skeletons out of the closet. i'm learning, i really am... where i once felt anger and, in a sense, defeat, i found a semblance of peace. i can't do that whole conflict thing anymore, it's not in me.
"Another kind of violence is the violence of disagreement. I believe that its in disagreement that certain truths about the human condition are revealed. It is when images, ideas, or people disagree that one senses the truth. These disagreements can be found everywhere in art."
I've been giving up to find resolution. I've been turning my back, I've disagreed with things that have been said and done, and felt a swell of emotion only to walk away from it for fear of what confrontation would do. And in that walking away, I found my voice. The good voice, the one that lets you express yourself the way you only wish you could sound.
"'Those who function out of fear, seek security, those who function out of trust, seek freedom.'"
And that my friends, is my perpetual balancing act. I have feared, I will fear, and I will forever seek security. But I'm learning to trust, and you are helping me find freedom.
i've been reading this fantastic book called 'a director prepares' by anne bogart. she's written seven essays on directing each with a theme in mind... as it relates to life, to art, to directing and creation. it's taking me forever to read, because with every page, there is so much to think about... i have to take it in in small pieces to give myself the time to process it. in many ways, she has captured my outlook on life, and all of a sudden i have found words explaining why i do this. why i balance science and art, and why i live the way that i do. and why i feel turmoil...
last night was a night of dragging the skeletons out of the closet. i'm learning, i really am... where i once felt anger and, in a sense, defeat, i found a semblance of peace. i can't do that whole conflict thing anymore, it's not in me.
"Another kind of violence is the violence of disagreement. I believe that its in disagreement that certain truths about the human condition are revealed. It is when images, ideas, or people disagree that one senses the truth. These disagreements can be found everywhere in art."
I've been giving up to find resolution. I've been turning my back, I've disagreed with things that have been said and done, and felt a swell of emotion only to walk away from it for fear of what confrontation would do. And in that walking away, I found my voice. The good voice, the one that lets you express yourself the way you only wish you could sound.
"'Those who function out of fear, seek security, those who function out of trust, seek freedom.'"
And that my friends, is my perpetual balancing act. I have feared, I will fear, and I will forever seek security. But I'm learning to trust, and you are helping me find freedom.