(no subject)
Today I woke up in a good mood. It's weird and I don't know why, but I also don't want to question it. I think I'm realizing that there are many guys out there, and I am worth it, and if they don't see that, they're losers!
I also realized how selfish I've been recently and how I need to stop focusing on my mediocre issues (which I know are big to me, but not big in comparison to the worlds problems) and how I need to focus on being a light to those around me.
I miss God, and I need to focus on getting my life straightened out. I know that once I put my priorities back in order, that things will fall in place. And I really haven't been prioritizing correctly. When I talked to my mom the other night. She told me how happy she has been. How she is in love with the Lord and everyday she feels loved in return. She was truly happy, something I don't think I've ever known. I know it sounds cheesy, but I want to feel that. I started crying, because that's all I've ever wanted. But, I don't know how to get there. I don't know the last time when I actually felt LOVED. I know the girls love me, and my mom loves me, but for some reason, I just can't feel worthy of it, therefore I can't feel it.
I know I'm probably sounding like a religious psycho right now. But, I feel like I woke up with a whole new perspective. I hope it sticks, because it's the first time in a long time that I really feel hopeful.
I also realized how selfish I've been recently and how I need to stop focusing on my mediocre issues (which I know are big to me, but not big in comparison to the worlds problems) and how I need to focus on being a light to those around me.
I miss God, and I need to focus on getting my life straightened out. I know that once I put my priorities back in order, that things will fall in place. And I really haven't been prioritizing correctly. When I talked to my mom the other night. She told me how happy she has been. How she is in love with the Lord and everyday she feels loved in return. She was truly happy, something I don't think I've ever known. I know it sounds cheesy, but I want to feel that. I started crying, because that's all I've ever wanted. But, I don't know how to get there. I don't know the last time when I actually felt LOVED. I know the girls love me, and my mom loves me, but for some reason, I just can't feel worthy of it, therefore I can't feel it.
I know I'm probably sounding like a religious psycho right now. But, I feel like I woke up with a whole new perspective. I hope it sticks, because it's the first time in a long time that I really feel hopeful.