I like to sing but I can't seem to remember the words to the happy songs
Hello again!
So, SCS reunion: very pointless two hours. Do I respect the chick who organized it/tried to make it work? of course. But should she have known better than to think that it would've actually worked- considering who was in our class? Absolutely.
I think what I wanted to point out was my parents' attitudes towards the thing. Before the reunion, my mum was flipping out because I wasn't dressed to the nines and she wanted me to wear the shoes that caused the marks on my feet because they were more fancy... After a while my dad pointed out that compared to everyone else in my grade i probably was already over dressed; but no, I managed to get away with flip flops. and what happens when I get there? Everyone is in jeans/shorts. even though organizer chick was all 'no jeans!'
so much for that.
Anyways, on the way there, I had no idea what my dad was doing; but he just kept talking about all the good things I've done. I mean, it was creepy as it was; my dad never really talks when he's driving me somewhere--- we've mastered the art of the non-awkward silence. But, yea, all of the sudden the guy just starts talking about...me. And it was completely ranodm; instead of focusing on where I needed to improve like he normally does, he started talking about all the good things I've done. Like how I've pulled myself together after sophomore year and after he got ill... And how freaking amazing it is that I placed out of Spanish and I was offered to skip right to Calculus 3...he just kept going on and on for the whole 20 minute car ride. Right before he dropped me off he told me that no matter what anyone tells me, I've still got all of that over them, because "you grew up; they're still kids." Yea, that's when I realized that he's known how I felt about the reunion and he was trying to calm my nerves.
Can I just say that every 'clique' that scs had immediately reformed the moment we got there? It's like we never left, really. We just grew a few years older, but other than that we were exactly the same. Even I acted the way I did...and I was one fake chick. It was gross. I caught myself at it a few times and immediatley thought "shit bad habits die hard." I'm still kicking myself in the ass for it. UGH. >.<
It ended up ending early because the video froze/ no one knew how to use the dvd player (i offered, no one heard the offer- so I just sat back and watched the failure) so megan and I decided to go for a walk to no where...and even though my dad found us on the street he didn't get mad for once. So he picked me up and there I was apologizing profusely because I thought that I was screwed and eventually he just told me to forget it because he'd rather that I enjoyed myself on that walk than trying to awkardly wait on the staircase for him in a skirt. When I told him that it didn't work out, he didn't look for detailed explinations, he just understood. And then we rented sherlock holmes. :]
when I got home I told my mum about the epic failure of the thing...and she blamed me because I didn't have fun. She told me it was my fault that I didn't enjoy myself, and that I didn't even try to 'reconnect' and how I'm the one who's singling myself out. And who knows; maybe I am doing it all. Maybe it is my fault. Who knows? All I know is that I thought I tried and just like the whole 9 years there; I got rejected. over and over and over. And so I got rejected again tonight; and this time I don't care, because this time around I'm not in denial about it. So if it's just that I'm a freak of nature and it is my fault that I never 'fit in' then that's fine. because I seriously don't care anymore.
the weirdest part about it was the fact that my dad was the one who understood.
anyways, good night.
-Me
So, SCS reunion: very pointless two hours. Do I respect the chick who organized it/tried to make it work? of course. But should she have known better than to think that it would've actually worked- considering who was in our class? Absolutely.
I think what I wanted to point out was my parents' attitudes towards the thing. Before the reunion, my mum was flipping out because I wasn't dressed to the nines and she wanted me to wear the shoes that caused the marks on my feet because they were more fancy... After a while my dad pointed out that compared to everyone else in my grade i probably was already over dressed; but no, I managed to get away with flip flops. and what happens when I get there? Everyone is in jeans/shorts. even though organizer chick was all 'no jeans!'
so much for that.
Anyways, on the way there, I had no idea what my dad was doing; but he just kept talking about all the good things I've done. I mean, it was creepy as it was; my dad never really talks when he's driving me somewhere--- we've mastered the art of the non-awkward silence. But, yea, all of the sudden the guy just starts talking about...me. And it was completely ranodm; instead of focusing on where I needed to improve like he normally does, he started talking about all the good things I've done. Like how I've pulled myself together after sophomore year and after he got ill... And how freaking amazing it is that I placed out of Spanish and I was offered to skip right to Calculus 3...he just kept going on and on for the whole 20 minute car ride. Right before he dropped me off he told me that no matter what anyone tells me, I've still got all of that over them, because "you grew up; they're still kids." Yea, that's when I realized that he's known how I felt about the reunion and he was trying to calm my nerves.
Can I just say that every 'clique' that scs had immediately reformed the moment we got there? It's like we never left, really. We just grew a few years older, but other than that we were exactly the same. Even I acted the way I did...and I was one fake chick. It was gross. I caught myself at it a few times and immediatley thought "shit bad habits die hard." I'm still kicking myself in the ass for it. UGH. >.<
It ended up ending early because the video froze/ no one knew how to use the dvd player (i offered, no one heard the offer- so I just sat back and watched the failure) so megan and I decided to go for a walk to no where...and even though my dad found us on the street he didn't get mad for once. So he picked me up and there I was apologizing profusely because I thought that I was screwed and eventually he just told me to forget it because he'd rather that I enjoyed myself on that walk than trying to awkardly wait on the staircase for him in a skirt. When I told him that it didn't work out, he didn't look for detailed explinations, he just understood. And then we rented sherlock holmes. :]
when I got home I told my mum about the epic failure of the thing...and she blamed me because I didn't have fun. She told me it was my fault that I didn't enjoy myself, and that I didn't even try to 'reconnect' and how I'm the one who's singling myself out. And who knows; maybe I am doing it all. Maybe it is my fault. Who knows? All I know is that I thought I tried and just like the whole 9 years there; I got rejected. over and over and over. And so I got rejected again tonight; and this time I don't care, because this time around I'm not in denial about it. So if it's just that I'm a freak of nature and it is my fault that I never 'fit in' then that's fine. because I seriously don't care anymore.
the weirdest part about it was the fact that my dad was the one who understood.
anyways, good night.
-Me