Echoes You Left Behind (M/K)
My first shot at a Matt/Karen Fanfic. English isn't my native language and writing's definitely not my strongest suit. So I apologize in advance but I just really wanted to give this a try. It's quite short, but sort of depressing so I didn't wanna drag it on too long...
Next one - if existent - will be happier and longer. (;
Her colours had dulled. It’d felt as if the sun forgot to rise this morning, leaving his entire world in complete and utter darkness. He’d forgotten how he kept his world alight without her. She was so much a part of his life as he himself was and now that her ‘Karen-ness’ is missing, he feels so, very out of place.
The cheerful, ginger hair had lost its usual bounce. Her smile was crooked. Her skin drained of light and colour. He felt personally responsible. He should’ve known if Kaz - his Kaz - wasn’t herself. He should’ve noticed. He should’ve cared enough to.
They were her last days on-set. He never noticed how fast the days had gone, how fast she was slipping. And then it all hit him like a pile of bricks, the realization physically making his knees weak. She was gone in a blurry, opaque goodbye filled with the mixture of both their tears.
The resonating sound of her usual, vivacious laugh all around the set had been missing for days. It was as if a vital part of him had just packed up and walked off. She was always there, treating his days as a blank canvas she’s to paint on with the brightest colours and the most treasured memories. But now she’s gone. His canvas is as pale and white as it’ll ever be and he feels so out of place and just so wrong.
He tries to brush it off. He’ll be fine, is what he tells himself at night - every night. But morning comes, and she’s still not there. That dark cloud of emptiness, that hollow feeling of rue and despondency are still hovering over him, haunting his every conscious second and chasing him within his dreams.
He’s learnt to come to terms with the fact that he can’t imagine this - all the flashing lights and late night shoots in those exotic places and all Doctor Who has to offer - all of it, he can’t do without her. He never realized how much a part of him she’s become over the years, how many decisions he’s come to make based on her needs and desires.
He needs her. Everyone’s noticed, but no one speaks of it because it won’t bring her back. Wherever he goes on-set, he gets those sorrowful looks and pitiful eyes and not-so-comforting pats on the shoulder. He knows they’re only trying to help but it only brings back more memories and it only weighs him down even more.
But facts are facts. Amy’s gone - and so is Kaz. A phone call every other week won’t fix that. He misses having her all to himself for 14 hours of the day, listening to that infectious, Scottish accent of hers get stronger and stronger as she loses herself in the middle of a sentence, her red, red hair sending rays of light all over set, the joie de vivre and vitality to her every step.
He misses it all. He misses his Kaz.