I just realized that Lucius Malfoy is too hot to be straight.
He had uber hot man-sex [probably with Voldemort] to produce Draco.
Lucius. You're a bittersweet, black Fruit--yes you are, and you're perfect the way you are.
Now all I have to do is find another uber hot, sex god that I can pair you up with.
And I promise. There will be a lot of ass-
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