I have a new journal... I'm adding some people from this one on there.

Its voirlesoleil

The hardest thing in the world is to know exactly what you are doing to yourself..and not have the strenght to stop it.
Three days though...three.

My dad is making me quit my job.
I love my job.
Im starving. I think that I go between SI and just not eating. Like...I've stopped cutting before and I've stopped starving myself. But never at the same time. It's usually one or the other. Now it's both. Oh shit...I can't deal with both. I am in hell.

I am taking two steps forward and on step back. But you keep on convincing me that I am going to make it. Telling me to go and get help, to stop this ( Read more... )

I hate him I hate him I hate I hate I hate HIM. Like I have never hated anyone in whole entire fucking life. Hes rude and gross and fucking discusting. All he does is drink like a fucking fish that asshole has not been sober in years. Seriously. He dosnt fucking go to sleep he PASSES OUT. On the counter in chairs.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't know whats wrong with me. No one gets it. No one understands. I'm falling. I just want to have the strength to stand up on my own. To make everything okay.

was okay. I worked for like three hours, but whatever. So I'll start with the good things. I bought my favorite book of all time ever. I god paid ($100...hellz yeah)...then I spent like $22. But I went to that other book store also, that one with the chair. I sat there and tried to stop myself from going into Rite Aid (FYI--this is the bad part of ( Read more... )

My dad hasnt talked to me all day. I don't know why he hates me so much. I'm sorry that I need anything from him. I wish I didnt, I really really do. If i didnt need anything from him then I would expect anything. That would be so much easier ( Read more... )

I am...hopeless. It will go away. But I feel so so alone right now.
I didnt want to lie to you.
But I think I did.
Which sucks.
Because...I trust you.
And I dont want to disappoint you.
Or lie.
I'll try not to next time.

I just wanted to feel.
I just needed to feel.
Something.