(no subject)
Title: The Right Kind of Life
Author: Erynn, me
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Foo Fighters/Queens of the Stoneage
Pairing: Dave Grohl/Josh Homme
Summary: Dave has to decide what is the right kind of life for him, his daughter, and Josh.
He strapped her into her car seat in the back. He smiled at me and walked over. She didn’t know what was going on or why I wasn’t going with them. She didn’t cry though, she just sat there with Paddington Bear in his bright yellow raincoat, smiling away. I stood in the small two car garage, which at that point seemed cavernous and lonely.
He set one of his chiseled hands on my shoulder and smiled weakly at me. “You understand, right?” He asked. His voice was leaving, as it always was. He sounded like he had just gotten off stage. It sort of cracked, changed pitches. It didn’t matter though I loved his voice almost as much as I loved his drums and guitar.
I shook my head, letting my loose wet hair fly around a bit. “No, Dave, I don’t understand. I honestly don’t.” He reached up and pushed my hair back to its normal position.
“Jordyn wants to get back together. She’s Danni’s mom, Josh, I have to give it a chance.”
It was night time and drizzling. I knew why he had chosen to leave at that moment. He was an amazing man, with barely a shy bone in his body when it came to performing. He stood in front of me and it was no performance. I knew if I walked into the kitchen, I’d see a note written in his handwriting about how he was leaving me to go back to his ex-wife, Danni’s mom. He hated confrontation and he decided a note was the best way to go
I got home from the studio earlier than I had planned. I walked in the front door only to see him carrying down Danni’s things, packed in suitcases. He explained and I held back tears.
“Just because she wants you back doesn’t mean you have to leave me. It doesn’t mean that you have to go back to her, Dave.” I started to choke back tears. It was raining softly outside. It was going back and forth between drizzling and a soft April storm. No lightening. Danni sat in the car and talked to herself, or Paddington Bear, about the weather. “Something like this just doesn’t end.”
He shook his head like he was in pain or disappointed or something. “Josh, I don’t want her to grow up like me. I want her to grow up in a home that has a mother and a father. I never had that. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up in a place where both parents actually live.”
“You know what I loved about my parent’s divorce?” I asked. He shifted his weight. He knew I was going to launch at him. “I didn’t have to hear them scream about money or affairs or anything. Is that what you want her growing up around? Do you want her growing up listening to you and Jordyn fight?”
“Dammit, Josh, you know I don’t! You know I want her to grow up in the best place there is possible, but come on! You and I aren’t going to be able to give it to her. What’s going to happen this summer when I’m on tour and you’re on tour? There’s no fucking way either one of us can take care of her on the road! And even if one of us could, I don’t want her growing up on a tour bus or growing up around this business.”
“You can still give her all that. You don’t have to give up your love life just to give her the best life.” I stepped forward and brushed my hand across his cheek. “She could spend the summers with her mom while we’re on tour. The rest of the time, she’d live with us. We had this all planned out.”
He closed his eyes. I didn’t blink or breathe. Outside I heard the rain pick up a bit. I held my breath and hoped to God that he was going to go with our plan. That’d he wrap his arms around me and unbuckle Danni and we’d go back inside and be the family we dreamed of. He’d call Jordyn and tell her that he didn’t want to get back together.
“Josh,” he said with a defeated tone. I couldn’t make it out. I couldn’t tell if he was going to stay or go. “I would love more than anything to spend the rest of my life with you, but…”
“God,” I murmured, hanging my head down, feeling tears rush into my eyes.
“…I have to do what’s best for my daughter. She needs a mother and a father. She needs a stable home.”
“Who says that every child must have one place bolted to the ground called home? Who says that every child must have a mother and a father in that home all the time?” I felt a tear run down my cheek. I hated myself for showing him how much he was hurting me. I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I wanted to be tough and strong. “Why can’t she have three adults in her life that love her to death? What’s so fucking wrong with that? What’s so fucking wrong with everything we planned, Dave?”
He placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled my forehead to meet his. His glassy brown eyes met mine, there were tears clouding them. “Josh, I’m so sorry.”
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him close to me. I tried to hold in my sobs, but the tears still rolled down my cheeks and painful screeches tumbled out of my mouth. His hands ran up and down my back, trying to soothe me, but we both knew it wouldn’t work.
He moved away and wiped a few tears from my face. “I’ll see you at Reading.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. Reading was too long away. “I’ll see you.”
He rested his hand on my cheek for a moment and then walked over to the car and got in. I heard the ignition start. I wanted it to break down. He pulled out of the garage, into the pouring rain.
I walked out after the car and stood with the rain diluting my tears. The red brake lights flashed at the end of the driveway and my stomach lurched forward, hoping he’d shift in reverse and come back to me. The break lights went off and he drove away, leaving me with only the rain and the tears and the worst broken heart of a life time.
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What'd you think?
Author: Erynn, me
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Foo Fighters/Queens of the Stoneage
Pairing: Dave Grohl/Josh Homme
Summary: Dave has to decide what is the right kind of life for him, his daughter, and Josh.
He strapped her into her car seat in the back. He smiled at me and walked over. She didn’t know what was going on or why I wasn’t going with them. She didn’t cry though, she just sat there with Paddington Bear in his bright yellow raincoat, smiling away. I stood in the small two car garage, which at that point seemed cavernous and lonely.
He set one of his chiseled hands on my shoulder and smiled weakly at me. “You understand, right?” He asked. His voice was leaving, as it always was. He sounded like he had just gotten off stage. It sort of cracked, changed pitches. It didn’t matter though I loved his voice almost as much as I loved his drums and guitar.
I shook my head, letting my loose wet hair fly around a bit. “No, Dave, I don’t understand. I honestly don’t.” He reached up and pushed my hair back to its normal position.
“Jordyn wants to get back together. She’s Danni’s mom, Josh, I have to give it a chance.”
It was night time and drizzling. I knew why he had chosen to leave at that moment. He was an amazing man, with barely a shy bone in his body when it came to performing. He stood in front of me and it was no performance. I knew if I walked into the kitchen, I’d see a note written in his handwriting about how he was leaving me to go back to his ex-wife, Danni’s mom. He hated confrontation and he decided a note was the best way to go
I got home from the studio earlier than I had planned. I walked in the front door only to see him carrying down Danni’s things, packed in suitcases. He explained and I held back tears.
“Just because she wants you back doesn’t mean you have to leave me. It doesn’t mean that you have to go back to her, Dave.” I started to choke back tears. It was raining softly outside. It was going back and forth between drizzling and a soft April storm. No lightening. Danni sat in the car and talked to herself, or Paddington Bear, about the weather. “Something like this just doesn’t end.”
He shook his head like he was in pain or disappointed or something. “Josh, I don’t want her to grow up like me. I want her to grow up in a home that has a mother and a father. I never had that. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up in a place where both parents actually live.”
“You know what I loved about my parent’s divorce?” I asked. He shifted his weight. He knew I was going to launch at him. “I didn’t have to hear them scream about money or affairs or anything. Is that what you want her growing up around? Do you want her growing up listening to you and Jordyn fight?”
“Dammit, Josh, you know I don’t! You know I want her to grow up in the best place there is possible, but come on! You and I aren’t going to be able to give it to her. What’s going to happen this summer when I’m on tour and you’re on tour? There’s no fucking way either one of us can take care of her on the road! And even if one of us could, I don’t want her growing up on a tour bus or growing up around this business.”
“You can still give her all that. You don’t have to give up your love life just to give her the best life.” I stepped forward and brushed my hand across his cheek. “She could spend the summers with her mom while we’re on tour. The rest of the time, she’d live with us. We had this all planned out.”
He closed his eyes. I didn’t blink or breathe. Outside I heard the rain pick up a bit. I held my breath and hoped to God that he was going to go with our plan. That’d he wrap his arms around me and unbuckle Danni and we’d go back inside and be the family we dreamed of. He’d call Jordyn and tell her that he didn’t want to get back together.
“Josh,” he said with a defeated tone. I couldn’t make it out. I couldn’t tell if he was going to stay or go. “I would love more than anything to spend the rest of my life with you, but…”
“God,” I murmured, hanging my head down, feeling tears rush into my eyes.
“…I have to do what’s best for my daughter. She needs a mother and a father. She needs a stable home.”
“Who says that every child must have one place bolted to the ground called home? Who says that every child must have a mother and a father in that home all the time?” I felt a tear run down my cheek. I hated myself for showing him how much he was hurting me. I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I wanted to be tough and strong. “Why can’t she have three adults in her life that love her to death? What’s so fucking wrong with that? What’s so fucking wrong with everything we planned, Dave?”
He placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled my forehead to meet his. His glassy brown eyes met mine, there were tears clouding them. “Josh, I’m so sorry.”
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him close to me. I tried to hold in my sobs, but the tears still rolled down my cheeks and painful screeches tumbled out of my mouth. His hands ran up and down my back, trying to soothe me, but we both knew it wouldn’t work.
He moved away and wiped a few tears from my face. “I’ll see you at Reading.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. Reading was too long away. “I’ll see you.”
He rested his hand on my cheek for a moment and then walked over to the car and got in. I heard the ignition start. I wanted it to break down. He pulled out of the garage, into the pouring rain.
I walked out after the car and stood with the rain diluting my tears. The red brake lights flashed at the end of the driveway and my stomach lurched forward, hoping he’d shift in reverse and come back to me. The break lights went off and he drove away, leaving me with only the rain and the tears and the worst broken heart of a life time.
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