I.T.I.Y.I.I.F.I.T. - [009]
I want to talk to you so badly. I wish I could confide in you like I should, but I can't. I just can't. You don't understand me and you don't even try. I understand that you aren't used to thinking of anyone except yourself and you really have come so far.
This is my fault, you know. I thought I could change you and that was wrong of me in the first place. It doesn't matter how great a martial artist I am, or that I saved Gaea with the others those years ago. None of that matters, because it doesn't make me any more significant.
I want to live a life where I feel that I'm appreciated. I want a live a life where I know the person I want to go to won't make me feel like I'm absolutely nothing. I want to be able to know that the person who loves me, will accept me and my ideals, my beliefs.
You have always told me to be myself, and yet when I am, you scold me for my naivety, you lecture me for the stupid things I do, you scorn me...for being exactly who I am. What do you want from me? None of those "stupid" things I have done...I have seen as "stupid". Everything I do, I do for a reason, whether you see it or not.
I don't want to spend my life having to be perfect for you. If you say I don't need to, then accept me for who it is that I am, without lecturing me, without scorning me, without making it seem like I'm not good enough. Because I am good enough. I know it. I know it in my heart. I know it in my mind.
I don't always want to have to pretend to be tough. Yes, I'm a martial artist, and a good one at that, but like the clouds and the lotus blossoms, I am soft and delicate, and very fragile. You are breaking me, and breaking me very, very well.
Free this caged butterfly, please, and let me show my wings. Don't paint me up to make me beautiful. Just...let me be me without having to worry whether I'm pleasing you or not. I can't take it anymore. I really can't. It just hurts far too much. And I don't want to feel this anymore.
If this can change, then I can talk to you again without feeling remorseful, without feeling regret. But I can't change myself anymore. So please...just do this one thing I ask...and please, please, please try to see things through my perspective. Please try to be me, for just a day, considering all conditions, all allies, all events and situations.
That's all I ask of you.