096. "I like you. I like you. I like you."
096. "I like you. I like you. I like you."
Pairings: unrequited Hankyung/Heechul, Siwon/Heechul, Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: Hankyung's thoughts on his and Heechul's relationship.
Hankyung likes Heechul. Really. Even though Heechul is loud and rude and obnoxious, he had stuck up for him when all those people made fun of him and did his best to make Hankyung feel at home in a foreign country.
So Hankyung decided to tell Heechul. The first time he tried he had stuttered so hard he couldn't get the first word out, let alone the whole sentence.
Heechul had laughed and rattled off a string of incomprehensible sounds, all rolled r’s and blended vowels, leaving Hankyung confused and at loss to what he did wrong. (His Korean wasn't the best back then.)
He'd been scared to approach Heechul for a week after that, and it finally took the combined efforts of Eeteuk and Eyunhyuk (who knew monkey boy could be such a good consultant?) to coax Hankyung from the protective shell he had formed over the years.
Now, Hankyung thinks, now, it's still the same. No, it's worse; now that he's developed a sufficient amount of vocabulary he'd be able to understand the insults Heechul would certainly say if he suddenly sprouts out words of affection again.
Heechul is staring at the TV set, every so often breaking out into loud laughter, cheering go Sharkie go! for the Great White to chew the surfer into mince meat.
Isn't that awesome? Heechul demands, eyes shining. Hankyung smiles and agrees, though inwardly he isn't watching people getting eaten alive, he's watching Heechul; how his lips quirk in his sarcastic half-grin when he sees something amusing; the way he flips his hair from his face, the shining strands of inky black flowing over pale milky skin.
I like you. The words unintentially slip from his mouth. Hankyung blanches, awaiting a stinging comment of him being weird again and acting like Yesung.
Heechul doesn’t look up from the screen as he tells Hankyung doesn't everyone? and missing the brief grimace of pain that flashes across the Chinese man’s face.
He'd expected it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
It was Leeteuk's idea. It's their day off, he had said, fetching the bags of popcorn from the microwave. What better way to spend it than together, watching a movie? The rest of the members had agreed, which is how Hankyung finds himself sitting at the foot of the sofa with Donghae leaning on his shoulder from one side and Ryeowook sprawled over his lap from the other, watching some Disney movie about a princess and a prince and their dog.
The door creeks open and Heechul stumbles in, kissing a flustered Siwon, both dead to everything around them. Hankyung goes rigid in shock, and in the silence is only broken by phrases of English and harsh breathing and the sound of his heart shattering into a million fragments.
It's only expected, he upbraids himself ruthlessly. You were too much of a coward to tell, so how could he know? But he can't control the hatred, the intense loathing that flames up in his throat, choking him, suffocating him, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
He knows that he and Heechul haven't been as close lately. He's not deaf; he's heard how fans are starting to chant Shichul now, when before it was Hanchul; he's seen how Siwon stares at Heechul - like he was a man dying of thirst in a desert and Heechul his life-giving oasis.
Hankyung knows this, and he's deluded himself into thinking that everything was okay, that if he tells Heechul about his feelings (tomorrow, always tomorrow), they won't be taken as a joke again and everything will work out alright, because they always do.
Hyung? What's wrong? Ryeowook reaches up and strokes Hankyung's face, fingers tracing the trail of silvery tear tracks that in the semi-darkness gives him a tragic glow. Hankyung starts; just realizing tears were flowing down his cheeks, he wipes them dry with his sleeve and quickly excuses himself, almost running in his haste to get away from the sickening scene before him.
Heechul, he breathes, stifling a sob. Heechul, Heechul, Heechul... When he is sure the door is closed and no one can see, he slides down the wall, buries his head in his arms, and cries.
They see him off at the airport next week; all of them. Ryeowook steps forward and hugs Hankyung tightly. "Don't cry any more," he mumbles, voice muffled against the older man's chest. "I like the happy hyung, not the sad one." Hankyung hugs him back, presses his lips briefly against Ryeowook's forehead, and whispers a soft thank you.
Heechul looks like he's sucking on a lemon.
"Why didn't you tell me you're going to China?" he accuses, anger flashing in those dark, dark orbs.
"I'm just going to visit my family,” Hankyung says. He smiles (too wide, too bright, too broken) and no one sees how fake it is; no one suspects anything amiss of the man who stands there with his gentle smile and sad, sad eyes. They only know what he's told them; that he misses home and wants to go back for a visit.
"Attention please. Flight 402 to Beijing is now boarding."
Leeteuk nudges Hankyung. "Go now, or you're going to miss your plane." Hankyung turns to Heechul and tries to smile again, though it takes nearly all his energy and he gives up halfway through.
"Goodbye, Heechul. I-" like - no, love you. "I wish you well with Siwon."
"All passengers on Flight 402 please check in at Gate 25."
He doesn't look back.
*
Pairings: unrequited Hankyung/Heechul, Siwon/Heechul, Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: Hankyung's thoughts on his and Heechul's relationship.
Hankyung likes Heechul. Really. Even though Heechul is loud and rude and obnoxious, he had stuck up for him when all those people made fun of him and did his best to make Hankyung feel at home in a foreign country.
So Hankyung decided to tell Heechul. The first time he tried he had stuttered so hard he couldn't get the first word out, let alone the whole sentence.
Heechul had laughed and rattled off a string of incomprehensible sounds, all rolled r’s and blended vowels, leaving Hankyung confused and at loss to what he did wrong. (His Korean wasn't the best back then.)
He'd been scared to approach Heechul for a week after that, and it finally took the combined efforts of Eeteuk and Eyunhyuk (who knew monkey boy could be such a good consultant?) to coax Hankyung from the protective shell he had formed over the years.
Now, Hankyung thinks, now, it's still the same. No, it's worse; now that he's developed a sufficient amount of vocabulary he'd be able to understand the insults Heechul would certainly say if he suddenly sprouts out words of affection again.
Heechul is staring at the TV set, every so often breaking out into loud laughter, cheering go Sharkie go! for the Great White to chew the surfer into mince meat.
Isn't that awesome? Heechul demands, eyes shining. Hankyung smiles and agrees, though inwardly he isn't watching people getting eaten alive, he's watching Heechul; how his lips quirk in his sarcastic half-grin when he sees something amusing; the way he flips his hair from his face, the shining strands of inky black flowing over pale milky skin.
I like you. The words unintentially slip from his mouth. Hankyung blanches, awaiting a stinging comment of him being weird again and acting like Yesung.
Heechul doesn’t look up from the screen as he tells Hankyung doesn't everyone? and missing the brief grimace of pain that flashes across the Chinese man’s face.
He'd expected it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
It was Leeteuk's idea. It's their day off, he had said, fetching the bags of popcorn from the microwave. What better way to spend it than together, watching a movie? The rest of the members had agreed, which is how Hankyung finds himself sitting at the foot of the sofa with Donghae leaning on his shoulder from one side and Ryeowook sprawled over his lap from the other, watching some Disney movie about a princess and a prince and their dog.
The door creeks open and Heechul stumbles in, kissing a flustered Siwon, both dead to everything around them. Hankyung goes rigid in shock, and in the silence is only broken by phrases of English and harsh breathing and the sound of his heart shattering into a million fragments.
It's only expected, he upbraids himself ruthlessly. You were too much of a coward to tell, so how could he know? But he can't control the hatred, the intense loathing that flames up in his throat, choking him, suffocating him, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
He knows that he and Heechul haven't been as close lately. He's not deaf; he's heard how fans are starting to chant Shichul now, when before it was Hanchul; he's seen how Siwon stares at Heechul - like he was a man dying of thirst in a desert and Heechul his life-giving oasis.
Hankyung knows this, and he's deluded himself into thinking that everything was okay, that if he tells Heechul about his feelings (tomorrow, always tomorrow), they won't be taken as a joke again and everything will work out alright, because they always do.
Hyung? What's wrong? Ryeowook reaches up and strokes Hankyung's face, fingers tracing the trail of silvery tear tracks that in the semi-darkness gives him a tragic glow. Hankyung starts; just realizing tears were flowing down his cheeks, he wipes them dry with his sleeve and quickly excuses himself, almost running in his haste to get away from the sickening scene before him.
Heechul, he breathes, stifling a sob. Heechul, Heechul, Heechul... When he is sure the door is closed and no one can see, he slides down the wall, buries his head in his arms, and cries.
They see him off at the airport next week; all of them. Ryeowook steps forward and hugs Hankyung tightly. "Don't cry any more," he mumbles, voice muffled against the older man's chest. "I like the happy hyung, not the sad one." Hankyung hugs him back, presses his lips briefly against Ryeowook's forehead, and whispers a soft thank you.
Heechul looks like he's sucking on a lemon.
"Why didn't you tell me you're going to China?" he accuses, anger flashing in those dark, dark orbs.
"I'm just going to visit my family,” Hankyung says. He smiles (too wide, too bright, too broken) and no one sees how fake it is; no one suspects anything amiss of the man who stands there with his gentle smile and sad, sad eyes. They only know what he's told them; that he misses home and wants to go back for a visit.
"Attention please. Flight 402 to Beijing is now boarding."
Leeteuk nudges Hankyung. "Go now, or you're going to miss your plane." Hankyung turns to Heechul and tries to smile again, though it takes nearly all his energy and he gives up halfway through.
"Goodbye, Heechul. I-" like - no, love you. "I wish you well with Siwon."
"All passengers on Flight 402 please check in at Gate 25."
He doesn't look back.
*