071. Plays (Theatre)
071. Plays (Theatre)
Pairing: Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: Hankyung thinks Ryeowook has a bit of a money complex.
"I don't know how to say this," Hankyung began awkwardly, watching Ryeowook scribble complicated-looking math equations on a sheet of paper, "but don't you think, maybe, possibly, probably we can't afford to put on a play in a foreign language none of us know how to speak?"
Ryeowook tsked and crossed out a few numbers. "You needn't worry about that, hyung. Honestly, the world's second most widely spoken language is English - Chinese is only the first because of the country's overpopulation - so all you have to do really is turn on the TV and watch it for half an hour. And this isn't just any play by any old playwrite. Shakespeare is widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's preeminent dramatist."
"The Tragic Play of the Tragic Lives of the Tragic Victims of a Tragic Family Feud?"
"Well, the original title is 'Romeo and Juliet'," Ryeowook admitted.”But that name sounds lame, it is tragic, and none of us are called Romeo or Juliet. And never mind the expenses. We're an idol group, for crying out loud. If I remember correctly, photographs of SuJu members doing nothing more than holding hands sell for 300,000 won apiece. Not to mention how much money we get from autographed picture sales, fan offerings, and singing at birthday parties. Plus, I've also authorized SuJu dolls and action figures and marketed our possessions - Siwon-hyung's bibles, Heechul-hyung's cat, your underwear..."
"You've been stealing my underwear and selling them for money?" Hankyung yelped, scandalized.
"Hyung, it's for the greater good," Ryeowook said, shaking his head sadly. "Think of our poor nonAsian fans, mostly relying on horribly translated subtitles because they don't have a clue what we're saying. This way, they'll be able to witness their heroes belting out cheesy love lines to one another in a language that they understand. Also, I've hired a cheap and decent crew of cameramen to film the whole thing so when the DVD comes out we can sell it online, which means more people will buy from us since it's going to be cheaper than the ones at stores, autographed, and packaged with an exclusive 'couple special.' Of course, SM gets twenty percent of all profit, Super Junior sixty percent, and the rest will be donated to medical science on cures for cancer and other potentially fatal diseases."
Hankyung stared at him wordlessly.
"You should blink before your eyeballs dry out," Ryeowook advised after a long pause.
"You should've been a miser," Hankyung muttered.
"Actually, it was once my dearest dream to become a professional salesman," Ryeowook said brightly. "Still is, in fact. I would quit showbiz if it didn't mean I would automatically lose all my privileges and luxuries and have to sleep in a cardboard box out on the streets with only toilet papered carcasses for company. Enough about my personal life. Want to help me calculate my sales taxes and commission rates?"
Hankyung ran for his life.
*
Pairing: Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: Hankyung thinks Ryeowook has a bit of a money complex.
"I don't know how to say this," Hankyung began awkwardly, watching Ryeowook scribble complicated-looking math equations on a sheet of paper, "but don't you think, maybe, possibly, probably we can't afford to put on a play in a foreign language none of us know how to speak?"
Ryeowook tsked and crossed out a few numbers. "You needn't worry about that, hyung. Honestly, the world's second most widely spoken language is English - Chinese is only the first because of the country's overpopulation - so all you have to do really is turn on the TV and watch it for half an hour. And this isn't just any play by any old playwrite. Shakespeare is widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's preeminent dramatist."
"The Tragic Play of the Tragic Lives of the Tragic Victims of a Tragic Family Feud?"
"Well, the original title is 'Romeo and Juliet'," Ryeowook admitted.”But that name sounds lame, it is tragic, and none of us are called Romeo or Juliet. And never mind the expenses. We're an idol group, for crying out loud. If I remember correctly, photographs of SuJu members doing nothing more than holding hands sell for 300,000 won apiece. Not to mention how much money we get from autographed picture sales, fan offerings, and singing at birthday parties. Plus, I've also authorized SuJu dolls and action figures and marketed our possessions - Siwon-hyung's bibles, Heechul-hyung's cat, your underwear..."
"You've been stealing my underwear and selling them for money?" Hankyung yelped, scandalized.
"Hyung, it's for the greater good," Ryeowook said, shaking his head sadly. "Think of our poor nonAsian fans, mostly relying on horribly translated subtitles because they don't have a clue what we're saying. This way, they'll be able to witness their heroes belting out cheesy love lines to one another in a language that they understand. Also, I've hired a cheap and decent crew of cameramen to film the whole thing so when the DVD comes out we can sell it online, which means more people will buy from us since it's going to be cheaper than the ones at stores, autographed, and packaged with an exclusive 'couple special.' Of course, SM gets twenty percent of all profit, Super Junior sixty percent, and the rest will be donated to medical science on cures for cancer and other potentially fatal diseases."
Hankyung stared at him wordlessly.
"You should blink before your eyeballs dry out," Ryeowook advised after a long pause.
"You should've been a miser," Hankyung muttered.
"Actually, it was once my dearest dream to become a professional salesman," Ryeowook said brightly. "Still is, in fact. I would quit showbiz if it didn't mean I would automatically lose all my privileges and luxuries and have to sleep in a cardboard box out on the streets with only toilet papered carcasses for company. Enough about my personal life. Want to help me calculate my sales taxes and commission rates?"
Hankyung ran for his life.
*