Roswell/Buffy/X-Files Crossover: Hey, It Could Happen! (1/1)
Title: Hey, It Could Happen
Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Alex and other Roswellians belong to Melinda Metz and Jason Katims. Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon. Mulder belongs to Chris Carter. Don't sue.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: BtVS "The Gift," all of X-Files season 8, Roswell through "Departure."
Hey, It Could Happen
"Where am I?" Alex Whitman wondered aloud as he looked around a big white room.
"You're in the world of suspension," a voice from behind him said.
Alex spun around and found himself facing a pretty girl with long blond hair. "What's the world of suspension? And who are you?"
"The world of suspension is that place where characters go when no one really knows what's going to happen with them. Sometimes we escape, sometimes we don't. And I'm Buffy Summers," she said, shaking his hand. "You must be Alex Whitman."
"How did you--?"
"Well, you were full of potential as a character, but the writers seemed to have more interest in a mind-warping psychopathic blond alien, and then they kept bringing on all these guest stars....Courtney, Grant, Nicholas, Brody, Sean...you were pretty much doomed," Buffy said matter-of-factly.
Alex stared at her. "Why are you here?"
"Oh, that's easy," another voice said. A guy in a suit walked up. "I'm Fox Mulder. She's here because her show is changing networks and they needed a big old cliffhanger to get people to watch UPN when the show leaves the WB."
Buffy smiled. "Mine's a temporary situation. They can't kill me off. The show's named after me."
"And what about you?" he asked Mulder.
"Oh, I'm not dead. Everyone thought I was for awhile, but they can't kill me off," he said proudly. He dropped his voice to a whisper, as if about to reveal a huge secret. "I'm doing the next movie."
"People have thought you were dead before this," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.
"That's the pot calling the kettle black," Mulder replied.
"Oh. Yeah. Right."
"Wait a minute. You guys have died before? And came back?" Alex asked, starting to feel a spark of hope.
"Yeah, I was drown once before I died this time," Buffy informed him.
"Let's see. First I was supposedly killed in an explosion in this underground railcar. And then this one time, Scully and I made everyone believe that I'd committed suicide in order to--"
"Okay, okay. I get the idea. But you came back. You died and came back. How'd you do it?" Alex asked urgently.
"The fans love us," Buffy said with a shrug.
"Yeah, but isn't there more to it than that? How do they bring you back once they've killed you off? I mean, the psycho blond alien you mentioned fried my brain, stuffed me into a car and tried to make everyone think I'd committed suicide. How can I possibly go back?"
"Oh, Alex. Come on. Roswell is a sci-fi show," Mulder pointed out.
"It can be done," Buffy agreed. "I mean, look at Mulder there. He was actually buried alive for six months and they brought him back to life. Granted he didn't eat, drink or...move for six entire months, but he survived."
Mulder nodded. "The writers wouldn't even have to have it make sense."
"He's got a point. Nothing else on Roswell this season made much sense."
"Okay. I want to go back. I miss Liz and Maria and Isabel. What do I do? How do I get back home?"
Buffy and Mulder exchanged a look. "Well, a fan petition is a good start."
Alex looks into space, staring at all of you through the screen of your computers. "Guys? A little help here? Please?"
Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Alex and other Roswellians belong to Melinda Metz and Jason Katims. Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon. Mulder belongs to Chris Carter. Don't sue.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: BtVS "The Gift," all of X-Files season 8, Roswell through "Departure."
Hey, It Could Happen
"Where am I?" Alex Whitman wondered aloud as he looked around a big white room.
"You're in the world of suspension," a voice from behind him said.
Alex spun around and found himself facing a pretty girl with long blond hair. "What's the world of suspension? And who are you?"
"The world of suspension is that place where characters go when no one really knows what's going to happen with them. Sometimes we escape, sometimes we don't. And I'm Buffy Summers," she said, shaking his hand. "You must be Alex Whitman."
"How did you--?"
"Well, you were full of potential as a character, but the writers seemed to have more interest in a mind-warping psychopathic blond alien, and then they kept bringing on all these guest stars....Courtney, Grant, Nicholas, Brody, Sean...you were pretty much doomed," Buffy said matter-of-factly.
Alex stared at her. "Why are you here?"
"Oh, that's easy," another voice said. A guy in a suit walked up. "I'm Fox Mulder. She's here because her show is changing networks and they needed a big old cliffhanger to get people to watch UPN when the show leaves the WB."
Buffy smiled. "Mine's a temporary situation. They can't kill me off. The show's named after me."
"And what about you?" he asked Mulder.
"Oh, I'm not dead. Everyone thought I was for awhile, but they can't kill me off," he said proudly. He dropped his voice to a whisper, as if about to reveal a huge secret. "I'm doing the next movie."
"People have thought you were dead before this," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.
"That's the pot calling the kettle black," Mulder replied.
"Oh. Yeah. Right."
"Wait a minute. You guys have died before? And came back?" Alex asked, starting to feel a spark of hope.
"Yeah, I was drown once before I died this time," Buffy informed him.
"Let's see. First I was supposedly killed in an explosion in this underground railcar. And then this one time, Scully and I made everyone believe that I'd committed suicide in order to--"
"Okay, okay. I get the idea. But you came back. You died and came back. How'd you do it?" Alex asked urgently.
"The fans love us," Buffy said with a shrug.
"Yeah, but isn't there more to it than that? How do they bring you back once they've killed you off? I mean, the psycho blond alien you mentioned fried my brain, stuffed me into a car and tried to make everyone think I'd committed suicide. How can I possibly go back?"
"Oh, Alex. Come on. Roswell is a sci-fi show," Mulder pointed out.
"It can be done," Buffy agreed. "I mean, look at Mulder there. He was actually buried alive for six months and they brought him back to life. Granted he didn't eat, drink or...move for six entire months, but he survived."
Mulder nodded. "The writers wouldn't even have to have it make sense."
"He's got a point. Nothing else on Roswell this season made much sense."
"Okay. I want to go back. I miss Liz and Maria and Isabel. What do I do? How do I get back home?"
Buffy and Mulder exchanged a look. "Well, a fan petition is a good start."
Alex looks into space, staring at all of you through the screen of your computers. "Guys? A little help here? Please?"