[#8] Wrapped Around Your Finger [3/5]
part 1 ϟ part 2 ϟ part 3 ϟ
Finally, the 23rd of December arrived and Sehun found himself dressing up and standing in front of his mirror to make sure he looked presentable. He hadn't done that since he first started dating Joohyun. It was a little odd for him to do it now, but he wanted to look good for Junmyeon. He wasn't even being shameful about liking the man anymore. How had he become this way?
He shook his head, forcing the negative thoughts out. Today was going to be a happy day. He would worry about the repercussions of his feelings later. He adjusted his flannel over his shirt and pulled the pant legs of his skinny jeans down a little bit so they weren't riding up. After that, he grabbed Junmyeon's gift and headed out of the apartment, locking the door behind him.
Sehun walked to the small cafe where he worked. Junmyeon had agreed to pick him up there, not wanting him to make the long trek to his apartment on foot. Sehun was pleasantly surprised to see Junmyeon already there when he arrived, sitting on the front of his car as always. Sehun ran over, a wide smile on his face. The instant the other man spotted him, his face lit up and he got to his feet. Sehun stopped a short distance from him, slightly flustered and pink-cheeked.
“Shall we go?” Junmyeon asked softly, motioning to the car.
“Yeah!”
Sehun got in on the passenger's side and Junmyeon started the car up. Perhaps it was because he was excited, but Sehun broke tradition and began chatting away at Junmyeon during the drive. He'd been so miserable over his own feelings and dying to see the other man for so long, he didn't think he could survive even a short car ride of silence. Junmyeon was just as happy and eager to speak with Sehun though.
When they got to Junmyeon's apartment, Sehun found dinner already mostly prepared. Junmyeon had gone out of his way to make it nice, and even though some things were bought pre-cooked from the store, it was still enough to please Sehun. They set the table for two, and Junmyeon lit a few candles around the room and on the table. He swore it was because they were cinnamon scented and he didn't want his house to smell like TV dinners, but Sehun couldn't help but tease him about the atmosphere all the same. In truth, he was really enjoying how romantic it felt.
They sat across from each other and talked animatedly as they ate. Junmyeon never brought up Joohyun thankfully, and Sehun didn't bother to think about her, as awful as it sounded. When the conversation slowed down, Sehun found himself staring intently into Junmyeon's eyes, the latter returning the action. Sehun felt two warm, sock-covered feet poke at his legs from under the table and a warm smile spread on his face. Two could play at that game.
They kicked at each other, softly at first but gradually harder, until Junmyeon hit Sehun on the shin and he groaned, lowering his head so the other couldn't see. Junmyeon leaned over the table slightly, trying to make sure he was ok. At that same moment, Sehun hit him in the shin, causing Junmyeon to cry out in both surprise and pain. The older man stared at him, looking betrayed, until Sehun finally broke down laughing. It must have been contagious because soon enough, Junmyeon was laughing as well, eyes scrunched into crescents. Sehun loved the way they looked. It'd be nice if he could see Junmyeon laugh like that again.
Following dinner, they did the dishes and settled in the living room. Junmyeon had picked out an array of cheesy Christmas movies and they were going to marathon them. First, they needed to exchange gifts though, as per Sehun's request. He had a feeling they would both be too tired and distracted if they waited until the movies were over.
Sehun handed his gift over first, and he swore he'd never felt so nervous and excited at the same time to see Junmyeon open it. The instant the older man pulled out the yarn, his eyebrows shot up and he looked at Sehun in both surprise and happiness.
“You did say you could never have enough yarn,” Sehun laughed.
“I know but still...I was running out of these colors. You know me so well...” Sehun simply laughed and playfully pushed his shoulder.
“It's not hard when your house is covered in brown and gray stuffed animals.”
“I guess you're right,” Junmyeon chuckled. “Your turn to open your gift now!”
He handed Sehun a blob of wrapping paper. Whatever was inside obviously didn't have a solid form because Sehun could squish it through the wrapping. He peeled away the paper and his jaw dropped. Inside was a crocheted gray bunny stuffed animal. It had white, plump cheeks, and Sehun could tell Junmyeon had given it the utmost care when making it. He'd even used small amounts of fabric paint to give it a little blush. Sehun knew that normal bunnies obviously didn't have that, but this was no normal bunny. He looked up at Junmyeon, a mixture of emotions coursing through his chest. How could he even put into words how he felt?
“It's so cute!” He gasped, snuggling it closer.
“I'm glad you like it~”
“I love it!” Sehun exclaimed. I love you. The words were caught in his throat.
“I worked pretty hard on it. I didn't have a lot of time to get it done before Christmas, you know?”
“I bet! I'm glad I bought you more gray yarn. This guy probably used a good amount up, huh?”
“A little,” Junmyeon hummed. “But I won't be needing to refill my yarn stash for a while now.”
“I can't believe you can make these things. You're so talented,” Sehun sighed, poking the bunny's cheek and unconsciously grinning.
“It's all practice. I'd be more than happy to teach you.”
“I'd love that.”
Sehun finally glanced up from the bunny and stared into Junmyeon's eyes. He swore he could see something hidden in them. Before he could pinpoint just what, Junmyeon broke eye contact, clearing his throat and reaching for the first movie.
“We'll do that another time, alright? For now, let's start our movie.”
Sehun nodded slowly and watched as Junmyeon got up and inserted the first disc. When he came back over to the couch, Sehun scooted closer to him. He briefly felt Junmyeon stiffen, but the man relaxed soon enough. Sehun took that as his cue to continue. He rested his head on the man's shoulder, bunny cuddled to his chest. He felt Junmyeon exhale deeply, and soon enough, one of the man's hands was rested on Sehun's waist, fingers lightly brushing along his hip bone.
Sehun sighed contentedly. He never wanted this to end. He loved how it felt to be beside Junmyeon, curled up in his arms. Surely Junmyeon had to feel the same way, right? Otherwise, he wouldn't always put his arm around Sehun the instant he was near.
Junmyeon and Sehun both jumped at the sound of a phone ringing halfway through their second movie. Junmyeon paused it and got up begrudgingly to answer his phone. Sehun didn't intend on listening to the conversation, but it wasn't like he had much else to do. The name Junmyeon greeted instantly caught his attention as well.
“Oh, Joohyun. It's pretty late...What's up?”
Sehun's heart sunk. Why would Joohyun be calling? Had Junmyeon told her that Sehun would be coming over? He certainly hadn't told her. He'd stopped telling her anything related to Junmyeon for a long time.
“The cake pan? Oh yeah, mom left it here after my birthday. Haven't used it since,” Junmyeon chuckled. “She needs it now? Hasn't she already baked like 10 cakes worth of cookies?”
Junmyeon laughed as he listened to the other line. “Yeah, you can come over and get it I guess...When were you thinking of coming?” A pause. “In an hour or so? Yeah, that would work. Alright, I'll see you then.”
Junmyeon hung up the phone and returned to Sehun with a sigh. He looked at him, smiling somewhat guiltily.
“Joohyun needs to come over and get a cake pan. Our mom needs it apparently.”
“Is she coming right now?” Sehun asked.
“No, in a little over an hour. So we have time to finish our movie...But I think we might have to call it a night after this one.”
“Yeah,” Sehun agreed. “That's fine though.”
Junmyeon nodded and resumed his place beside Sehun. Within seconds, they were cuddled together again, Sehun's head resting on Junmyeon's chest so he could hear the man's heartbeat. It was a soothing, rhythmic sound, one that Sehun could get used to hearing often.
Junmyeon hadn't seemed alright with the idea of Sehun being their when Joohyun came. Was he also aware of how she felt about them being together? Was he also feeling like what they were doing was going behind Joohyun's back? Did that mean he did have some less than pure feelings and intentions regarding their friendship? Or was Sehun just reading too far into this because he was desperate?
He couldn't really concentrate on the rest of the movie. The entire time, he was debating in his mind whether or not to ask Junmyeon about his feelings. It was driving him completely nuts, but at the same time, he was so afraid to change what they had going on now. He would have to take a chance if he ever wanted more though.
The movie ended and Sehun pulled himself away, body aching to regain the warmth that was lost. He helped Junmyeon clean up a bit, then they headed to the door. The older man opened it and Sehun walked out, stopping in the doorway. If he was going to ask Junmyeon, now was the last chance he would get.
“Thanks for coming over today,” Junmyeon said gently, leaning on the door frame.
“Thank you for inviting me,” Sehun mumbled in response. “I had a lot of fun.” He held up the bunny. “And thanks for this little guy.” Junmyeon smiled bashfully.
“You're welcome. Are you gonna give it a name?” Sehun looked down at it thoughtfully. After a moment, he smiled shyly and glanced up at Junmyeon.
“I was thinking Junnie,” he mumbled. The idea had sounded so much better in his head.
Junmyeon's eyes went wide and he stared at Sehun, searching his expression for something. This was Sehun's chance. He needed to say something.
A short ways away from the apartment, Joohyun was walking over. She was rubbing her eyes tiredly, too many late nights finally adding up. She was rather irritated that her mother decided she needed to bake a cake now of all times. Couldn't she have just grabbed a cake pan or even a cake from the store? It was a lot closer than Junmyeon's house was.
When she glanced up, her eyes widened when she saw Sehun there. She had no idea he would be visiting Junmyeon today. Then again, he never seemed to tell her his plans about anything, especially Junmyeon. She stopped near the stone wall surrounding the apartment complex so she was out of sight. She would just wait for the two to finish. She really didn't want to see Sehun just yet. She wasn't sure she was mentally prepared.
Sehun opened his mouth, trying to formulate the words he so desperately longed to tell Junmyeon. Why couldn't anything come out? He was always so damn tongue tied with the other man. It was infuriating.
“Junmyeon-”
“Sehun, I...” The other man said simultaneously.
Sehun stopped and looked at him with wide eyes, nodding for him to go on. Junmyeon didn't say anything else though. Instead, he placed his hands on both of Sehun's cheeks and pulled him closer, pressing their lips together. Sehun gasped, his body stiffening for a second, then relaxing into the kiss, closing his eyes. He nibbled at Junmyeon's bottom lip, pulling on it slightly. It was just as soft as he'd always imagined it. He never wanted this to end.
Unfortunately, it ended fairly soon after Junmyeon started it. When he pulled away, he was breathing shakily and looking at Sehun in a mixture of guilt, nervousness, and excitement. He placed his hand over his mouth, fingers brushing along his lips. Sehun was just as shocked. That at least answered his question about how Junmyeon was feeling.
“That kiss...” Sehun mumbled.
“I'm so sorry,” Junmyeon whispered. “I shouldn't have done that...”
“Junmyeon, it's ok.”
“No it's not...I shouldn't have done that, oh my God...Please, just...Just pretend like that didn't happen.”
“I won't,” Sehun stated bluntly. Junmyeon looked at him with a worried expression that would make even the most cold-hearted pity him.
“I'm so sorry. I ruined everything.”
“Junmyeon, that's not it...” Sehun quickly soothed. “I love you...”
“W-What...? Sehun, that's...But Joohyun...”
“I know,” the younger sighed, looking beyond guilty. “I know, but I can't help it...”
“Sehun, we shouldn't be like this...We shouldn't even be talking about this. Now isn't the time or the place. Joohyun is going to be here soon.”
“Next time we meet,” Sehun insisted. “Next time, we're going to talk this through, alright? Honest and straightforward.”
“Y-Yeah...”
“I'm going to go for now,” Sehun said gently, grabbing Junmyeon's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for tonight. For everything...” Junmyeon nodded, squeezing Sehun's hand back.
“I'll see you around. Will you be ok to get home on your own?”
“I'll be fine.”
Sehun sighed and let go of Junmyeon's hand, giving the man one last reassuring smile before turning around and heading away. Junmyeon waited until Sehun was out of sight before shutting his door and glancing at the clock, waiting for Joohyun.
Joohyun, upon witnessing the scene, had squatted to the ground, hand over her mouth. She was thankful Sehun hadn't noticed her along the stone wall and had headed in the opposite direction when he left. There was no way she could even begin to respond to what had just happened.
Her brother had kissed Sehun, and the latter hadn't done anything to stop it. Was this why he had been so distant with her? He was cheating on her. With Junmyeon, of all people. And her brother was going along with it. The two people she'd loved most had betrayed her.
Tears streaked down her cheeks as she silently cried. All she could do was blame herself. For not realizing sooner what was going on. For being so damn naive. For introducing the two in the first place. For not being good enough. It was a dangerous, negative, and untrue outlook, but she was far too emotional to be able to rationalize her way out of it. So instead, she cried. She stayed there crying for a long time, until her legs were numb from both the cold and the position they'd been in. Her phone rang, most likely Junmyeon or her mother to check in on her, but she didn't bother to answer it. She wouldn't be able to talk to anyone in her current state.
When she finally managed to pick herself up off the ground, she stared at Junmyeon's apartment door. She didn't want to see him, cake pan be damned. She turned around and walked away, heading to a nearby store to pick one up. When she got home, she lied to her mother and said that Junmyeon had lost the pan so she bought a new one, then headed to her room. When she was safe behind a locked door, she let herself break down crying once more. She was going to see Sehun the following day, and it was going to be absolutely miserable.
~*~
When Sehun picked Joohyun up for their date the following evening, she was stone-faced and silent. No matter what Sehun did or said, she was adamant about not talking. Needless to say, he was a nervous wreck within 15 minutes. He had made reservations at a nice restaurant, but they still had some time to spare. He'd initially planned to take her shopping, but given her current attitude, he didn't think she would be up for that. Instead, he walked around for a while, hunting for beautiful, lit up Christmas displays. He took the longest route he could think of to get to the restaurant. It was strange how uncomfortable this silence was in comparison to the times in Junmyeon's car.
When they got there, they were seated at a table and given a menu. Sehun was thankful for anything that would distract him from Joohyun glaring daggers into him. He had no idea why she might have been so angry, but it was getting old very quickly. His only guess was that Junmyeon told her something. The thought frankly horrified him. Sehun didn't think Junmyeon would have told her about what happened though. Not without consulting Sehun first. He wasn't that thoughtless.
When their dinner arrived, Sehun breathed a sigh of relief. It was another distraction from Joohyun's piercing glare. Whatever was bothering her, Sehun had a feeling that he would hear about it later. So much for giving her a nice Christmas date.
When they finished eating, Sehun solemnly lead her out of the restaurant and back to his apartment. They were supposed to exchange gifts and spend the night watching more Christmas movies and having a 'romantic' evening, whatever that had once entailed. Now Sehun was wondering if Joohyun would even spend more than 5 minutes with him. Perhaps she would give him the silent treatment for the whole night out of spite. She wasn't usually the type to get so angry, but Sehun hardly recognized her now.
Once they were in Sehun's small apartment, he sighed, leaning against the door. Joohyun had automatically headed to his bedroom. Sehun needed fortitude to get through this. He could already feel a confrontation coming. Honesty was the best policy. Sehun was repeating it like a mantra.
When he got to his room, Joohyun was seated on the bed, looking more sad than angry. Sehun sighed and walked over to her. He grabbed her gift box off his desk and held it out, sitting down beside her.
“It's, um...It's not much, but...Merry Christmas,” he mumbled.
She took the gift and opened it lifelessly. After the wrapping paper was off, she opened the box slowly, eyes landing on the black choker and moon pendant. Her fingers brushed over the metal, the opal detailing glistening as she shifted it. She was silent the entire time, which Sehun probably should have expected, but it didn't make him any less nervous.
“I'm sorry if you hate it...” He whispered.
“Will you put it on me?” She asked softly, her voice shaking. Sehun's eyes went wide. That was the first thing she'd said to him all night.
“Of course.”
She lifted her hair so Sehun could wrap it around her neck and clumsily fasten it at the back. When he dropped his hands from her neck, she let her hair fall back down, and brushed her fingers over the small moon once more. Her lip quivered and finally a sob escaped.
“I can't do this.”
It was barely audible, but to Sehun, it was as loud as a drum. She sounded so pained, so broken. Why were things turning out like this?
“Joohyun, what's wrong?” He asked, placing his hand on her back. She still didn't look at him.
“I saw you last night...with Junmyeon.”
“W-What?” Sehun gasped, his throat feeling unbearably dry.
“He kissed you...and you didn't pull away or push him or yell or anything!” She hissed, her voice raising as she listed off each possible reaction. “Why didn't you!? We're you planning to play with us both all along!?”
“Joohyun, that's not it at all!”
“How could you? How could you cheat on me!? With my own brother of all people! Was I that unimpressive compared to him?”
“I didn't cheat on you!” Sehun exclaimed. “That kiss was the first time anything like that has happened, alright? And it was really sudden and unexpected!”
“How can I believe you?” She screamed, and Sehun winced. He'd never seen her so upset before, and she had every right to be. “You betrayed my trust!”
“Joohyun-”
“If you were going to take Junmyeon, why did you have to keep me around? Was one of us not enough for you!? Why couldn't you have just dumped me before it would hurt this much?” Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “I love you so much...” She whimpered. “Why didn't you push him away?”
Sehun didn't know what to say. Joohyun got to her feet, wiping at her eyes. Sehun stood up and grabbed her wrist, holding her back from leaving the room. It was true he planned to break up with her, but he'd never meant to hurt her like this, and he definitely didn't want her to leave in this state.
“Joohyun, calm down. Let's talk about this...”
“Did you ever even love me?” She asked quietly, her voice shaking once more. Sehun wanted to hold and comfort her, but he knew that wouldn't help either of them.
“I did,” he answered honestly. He still loved her, which was why it was so hard to see her like this.
“But now you love Junmyeon...More than me?”
Sehun bit his lip. It was true. Junmyeon meant so much to him now. He couldn't lie to her. As much as it would hurt her to know, it was the inevitable truth.
“Yes...” He whispered.
He saw her shoulders shake and she ripped her wrist out of his grip. He half expected her to run away, but instead she raised her hand, forming it into a fist, and smacked his chest a couple of times. It didn't hurt physically, but each thump brought Sehun's conscience crashing down on him. He was the worst. He should have been better than this. Joohyun deserved so much more.
She walked over to his desk, eyes immediately finding the picture frame containing a photo of them during a much happier time. She ran her fingers along the wood before picking it up, looking at it sadly. Sehun gulped as he saw her knuckles turning white as she held it. She was going to snap again. He'd never seen her this angry before. He'd really fucked up.
“Why him?” She asked, malice in her voice this time.
“I don't know,” Sehun answered nervously. Joohyun scoffed.
“I should have known better. I'm such an idiot. I should have realized you would fall for him the instant you saw him...He's so much better than me after all...”
“Joohyun, stop. You can't compare yourself.”
“But you did it too, didn't you!? That's how you picked which one of us you'd rather fuck over, right!?”
Sehun winced at the sudden outburst. He didn't know how to respond, yet again. Joohyun shook her head in disbelief. It was the first time Sehun had seen so much rage and disappointment in her eyes. This was turning out to be so much harder than he had anticipated. He hadn't expected it to be easy either.
“What does he have that I don't!?” She screamed, shoulders shaking violently. “How could he sweep you off your feet like it was nothing!? I tried so hard to get you to notice me...I TRIED SO HARD!”
“Joohyu-”
“SHUT UP!”
She threw the picture frame at the ground and it shattered, broken glass and wooden frame scattering everywhere. Sehun stared at her with wide eyes, holding his hands up cautiously. She was getting out of hand now.
“You didn't hold me the same way after you met him! You got more and more distant. You were disgusted with me weren't you!?”
She grabbed a paperweight off his desk and threw it on the ground this time. Sehun took a step forward, hoping to pull her away from his desk before she could break anything else. That only resulted in him getting a handful of pencils and pens thrown at his face. She turned to grab something else to throw in order to keep him away, and that was when she spotted the crocheted bunny, sitting helplessly on his desk. She picked it up, laughing bitterly.
“He made this for you...”
Sehun didn't say anything. She was angry enough on her own. He didn't need to provoke her further. He saw her grip tighten on the bunny's arm and he tensed. He should have acted the instant she'd picked it up, but he was too late.
She grabbed a pair of scissors off his desk and cut its ears several times, cursing under her breath. Sehun rushed her, not caring that he stepped on broken glass, and grabbed the scissors. He wrestled them out of her hand, thankful that he was much stronger than her, and threw them on his bed, where they were out of her reach. Next, he grabbed the bunny and pried it from her grip.
“STOP!” He shouted, glaring at her. “I understand that you're mad, and you have a right to be, alright? But this? This is just a tantrum. If you aren't going to listen to what I have to say, then get out!”
Joohyun fully broke down crying, her knees giving out. She slowly fell to the ground, out of Sehun's grip. She held her face in her hands and wailed, not trying to hold back anymore. Sehun sighed, looking down at his bunny. He vaguely registered a pain in his foot from the broken glass, but his chest hurt much more. He'd been naive to think he could find a gentler way through this break up. There was nothing gentle about it.
He put the bunny on the bed, then walked over to Joohyun, limping slightly. He bent over and grabbed her forearms. She tried to pull away, but Sehun tightened his grip.
“Come on, stand up,” he said softly, no anger in his voice. “There's broken glass on the floor.”
She let him pull her to her feet. He didn't hug her or anything, simply held her wrists, rubbing slightly comforting circles on them. She let out a shaky breath, eyes planted on the ground. She couldn't bare to look him in the eyes.
“We're over,” she mumbled. Sehun closed his eyes and sighed.
“Yeah.”
“I'm going home...”
“Ok.”
She pulled away from his hold and turned around. As she was walking away, she knocked over the gift bag meant for Sehun, spilling half the cookies from the hand decorated box inside onto the floor. She paused looking at it for a brief moment, and Sehun could see her eyes fill with tears once more. He wanted to comfort her so badly, but he was the problem. Anything he did would just add fuel to a fire that was barely being contained. So he stood there, clenching his fists, praying she would leave before she started crying once more.
Finally, she turned away, running out of the room. Sehun limped over to his bedroom doorway and watched as she ran to the main entrance, putting her shoes on. As she was opening the front door, he allowed himself to show one last bit of concern.
“Be safe on your way home...”
He received no response, only a door closing quietly. When he realized he was finally alone in his apartment, he let his own tears fall. It was over. He felt horrible for the sense of relief that flooded his body, but that had been one of the most stressful experiences in his life. As relieved as he felt though, he was just as miserable. He hadn't properly explained himself at all, and he'd hurt Joohyun far worse than he ever wanted to. He felt like the scum of the earth.
He hobbled to his bathroom, pulling his slightly bloody sock off his foot before cleaning it and bandaging it up. He had to wipe his eyes several times to see through the tears. When he was done patching up, he set to work on cleaning up his room. He'd never expected Joohyun to be that hysterical. He should have called the whole thing off as soon as he'd decided to break up with her. It probably would have been at least a little less painful.
There were several things Sehun could have done differently though, but it was too late. No amount of dwelling on it would fix his relationship with Joohyun or make either of them feel better. All he could do was clean up and move on. Hopefully someday, he could at least tell Joohyun he was sorry and that she was a truly wonderful person. Even after everything that had happened, he still felt this way.
It took him a while to clean up the broken glass and reorganize his desk. When he was done, he was too tired and upset to even think about doing anything other than sleeping, so he laid down in his bed. The bunny plushy that Junmyeon had made him was sitting beside him, its ears no longer standing up cutely like they had before. Instead, they were crooked and starting to unravel. A couple more tears dripped from his eyes as he snuggled it close, wishing it would somehow magically turn into Junmyeon. He was despicable for thinking about him even after everything he did, but he couldn't help it. He longed for the man's comfort and warm arms.
Despite how exhausted he was, it took Sehun a long time to get to sleep. It was the very beginning of Christmas day by then, and Sehun already wanted the day to be over. This had to have been the worst Christmas ever.
~*~
Junmyeon arrived at his parents house Christmas evening completely unaware of anything that had gone on with Joohyun and Sehun. All he knew was Joohyun had never showed up to get the pan, which already had him worried about her. He was surprised when he didn't see her downstairs with their parents. She was always pretty excited and sociable when they were having family gatherings. Sometimes their parents were so busy they hardly saw them, so Joohyun never missed out on an opportunity to be with the whole family.
His mother pulled him aside almost as soon as he arrived. He was initially worried she was going to discipline him. Unless Sehun told Joohyun everything and she in turn told their mother, the woman would have no other way of knowing what was going on though. Instead, she wanted to talk about something different but still related to Joohyun.
“She hasn't come out of her room all day,” his mother explained worriedly. “She won't tell me what's wrong. All I know is she had a date with Sehun yesterday. My guess is things didn't go well.”
Junmyeon's heart sunk. Had Sehun broken up with her already? If so, did he tell her about what Junmyeon had done? He'd never wanted to break the two of them up. He should have kept his damn urges under control. He was the worst.
“Your father and I have to deliver a couple more gifts to some of our friends, so we'll be going out for a few hours. Do you think you can try and talk to her? She tends to tell you more than she tells us.”
“I-I can try...” Junmyeon stuttered. His mother smiled and hugged him.
“Thank you!”
He watched as his parents pulled on coats and grabbed several boxes of gifts. They would probably be gone for a while, which meant Junmyeon was going to be alone with whatever hell was waiting for him in Joohyun's room. He was probably the reason for all of this though, so he had to take responsibility and talk to her.
When his parents had left, he headed to Joohyun's room, a feeling of dread already pooling in his stomach. He knocked lightly on the door.
“Joohyun? It's me...” He received no response. “I'm gonna come in, ok?”
He opened the door slowly, then slipped inside and shut it behind him. Joohyun was sitting on her bed with her knees to her chest, face nestled in between them. Junmyeon walked over cautiously and sat down in front of her.
“Hey, what's wrong?” He asked gently, placing his hand on her knee.
“Go away. I don't want to see you,” she mumbled, voice muffled by her legs.
“Did something happen with Sehun yesterday?” Junmyeon asked. He knew it was a very touchy question, but it was the most likely cause of all of this.
“We broke up if that's what you're wondering.”
“What? Why?”
“Do you really have to ask that after kissing him?” Joohyun hissed, finally looking up at him. Her glare felt like it pierced right through him.
“Joohyun, I...”
“I already screamed and cried enough yesterday,” she sighed. “I don't want to do it again with you...I just don't understand why you would do it. How could you do something like that with my boyfriend?”
“I don't know,” Junmyeon answered weakly. “I was stupid and I wasn't thinking. I never should have kissed him, and for that, I'm sorry...But that was my fault, not his.”
“Save it,” Joohyun snapped, though her voice didn't raise in volume. “You and Sehun had been getting closer for a while now. It stopped being friendship a long time ago, didn't it?”
“I don't know about him, but for me...Yes, it did. But I was never going to act on it. The kiss was a mistake. I never should have done that.” Joohyun rolled her eyes.
“Did you care about me at all? Anyone with even the least bit of decency wouldn't have done that.”
“I know,” Junmyeon muttered. She was completely right, regardless of his excuses.
“I didn't even mind that you two were seeing each other. I was happy because it meant you had another friend in your life...But this was too much.”
“I'm sorry...”
“You know how this feels,” she whispered, biting her lip to keep from crying. “This happened to you, so you had to do the same to me?”
“That's not it and you know it, Joohyun.”
“I was there for you when you were struggling...I've always been there for you...Why did you stab me in the back like this?” She whimpered, laying her face in between her knees once more.
“I loved him so much...You knew how much I loved him!”
“I'm sorry...”
It was all he could say, but it didn't help anything. Joohyun's shoulders shook and a few quiet sobs escaped. Junmyeon closed his eyes, not wanting to hear the broken cries. He hated the fact that he was the cause of them. He'd really messed everything up.
“I don't want to see you again,” Joohyun said quietly. “Don't come here when I'm home.”
“Joohyun...”
“I'm serious. I don't want to see you again. Holidays and parents be damned,” she stated, glaring up at him. “I don't know if I can ever forgive you. At least respect my wishes this one time, and stay away from me. Now get out. I'll be down for dinner.”
She turned away from him and laid down on her bed. He sighed and got to his feet, leaving her alone in the room. He was smart enough to know when to stop talking and let battles be lost. She had every right to be furious and never want to see him again as well. What he'd done was horrible, and she was right. He knew exactly how it felt. He never should have put her through this.
When his parents got home, he kept it vague, saying that she'd broken up with Sehun and wasn't in the mood to talk about it. Their parents were extremely disappointed, since Sehun had apparently made a great impression on them. His mother decided that Joohyun would get the biggest slice of cake that evening, wanting to do anything that could possibly cheer her up. Junmyeon managed a weak smile. His parents eventually started getting dinner ready, grumbling amongst each other about how awful it was of Sehun to break up with her on Christmas Eve. If they knew that Junmyeon was the cause of everything, they would probably be furious and beyond disappointed. Perhaps it was better if he didn't come home for a while.
Joohyun came down for dinner, much like she said she would. The entire time, she ignored Junmyeon's existence. Dinner was fairly quiet, his parents supplying most of the discussion. As soon as the food was gone, Junmyeon decided it was time to leave. His parents tried to convince him to stay longer, but he made up some excuse about needing to wake up early the next day to meet a coworker. They exchanged hugs and goodbyes and Junmyeon headed to the door. As he opened it, he glanced back into the house one last time, and his eyes met Joohyun's briefly. She turned away seconds later, not muttering a word of goodbye, not that Junmyeon expected it. He left the house silently, unsure of how he could fix the situation or if he could even fix it. He knew one thing for sure though. He never should have gotten close to Sehun.
~*~
Sehun sighed as he watched the clock tick, leaning on his uninjured foot. He was working and his shift ended in about an hour, but the day seemed to be dragging. He'd never been so thankful to be paired with someone other than Seulgi for this shift. He was almost certain Joohyun had told her what had happened by now. Seulgi was always the first to hear about anything since she was Joohyun's best friend. She'd even been the first to hear about when they slept together the first time, much to Sehun's embarrassment.
Seulgi would probably be livid with him. He had no excuse after all. Joohyun had trusted him and he'd betrayed her. It was as simple as that. All he could really hope for now was to civilly patch things up once she'd calmed down and to figure out where he sat with Junmyeon. The man hadn't contacted him since that evening, and Sehun was starting to worry. It had been a few days since Christmas.
Sehun let out a frustrated grunt and pulled out his phone. The cafe wasn't busy at the moment thankfully. If Junmyeon wasn't going to contact him and talk about what happened, Sehun would instigate it. He couldn't stand the way things were left hanging. Hope of seeing Junmyeon again was practically the only thing keeping Sehun going.
He texted the man, asking him to meet him in an hour at the cafe. Several minutes went by with no answer, and Sehun was beginning to lose hope. Maybe Junmyeon was done with him after all. Just as he was about to slip his phone back in his pocket, he got a text. He opened it with a gulp, and breathed a sigh of relief when Junmyeon had agreed. At least he had something to think about while he finished his shift. He wasn't sure he was looking forward to it though.
When he was finally done, he headed out of the cafe, limping slightly. Junmyeon was waiting for him at the front of his car once more, and Sehun couldn't help but smile when he saw him. No matter how nervous he was about the coming conversation, Junmyeon never failed to make Sehun happy.
He walked over as quickly as he could. Junmyeon's brow furrowed when he noticed the small limp in Sehun's step and he immediately grabbed his arm when he was in reach.
“Are you ok?” Junmyeon asked worriedly. Sehun sighed, offering a tired smile.
“Yeah. Just cut my foot. It's fine.”
“Are you sure? You were on your feet all day...That probably didn't help it, right?”
“It's fine, Junmyeon. I promise.”
“Let me take you home at least. You walk to work right? I don't want you limping all the way home.”
“Alright, but Junmyeon...We need to talk. That's why I called you.”
“We will. Let's just get you home for now...”
Junmyeon let go of his arm and walked around to the driver's side. Sehun took his usual spot in the passenger's seat, and soon they were off. The car ride was silent as always, but there was a tenseness in the air that wasn't normally there, which didn't bode well. Somehow, Sehun had a feeling that once the silence ended, things would get much worse. It didn't help that Junmyeon didn't sing at all the entire car ride either.
When they pulled into a parking spot at Sehun's apartment complex, Junmyeon turned the car off. The silence that followed without even the hum of the engine was deafening. Sehun couldn't take it anymore, so he finally decided to speak up.
“Joohyun and I broke up.”
“I know...”
“What does this make us, Junmyeon?” Sehun asked nervously.
The older man bit his lip and sighed, thinking about how to respond. Sehun's nerves were so on edge, he felt like he was going to vomit. The answer shouldn't have taken this long, right?
“This doesn't make us anything,” Junmyeon finally responded, voice shaking. He didn't dare look Sehun in the eyes.
“W-What do you mean?”
“The kiss was a mistake. It never should have happened. I'm sorry for forcing it on you.”
“Junmyeon...This isn't just about the kiss. I like you...Don't you like me?”
Sehun's voice was faltering and he could already feel tears stinging at his eyes. He knew he shouldn't have been hopeful, but still, after all the hell he went through with Joohyun, he didn't need to go through it again with Junmyeon. Especially not now that he'd admitted he loved Junmyeon the most.
“Sehun, I can't do this.” The words stung even worse than when Joohyun had said them. “What I did was so horrible and unfair to Joohyun...and to you. I never should have come between you two.”
“What's done is done, Junmyeon. Besides, you aren't in between us anymore. We broke up.”
“And that's part of the problem. I know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you love, Sehun. And Joohyun was betrayed by two people she loves. I can't continue to hurt her.”
“So what? You're going to back out now?”
“Yes,” Junmyeon conceded quietly. “I'm not going to see you or her anymore. If you let things calm down, I'm sure you can work it out between you two.”
“You're assuming I still have feelings for her,” Sehun said irritably. “I love her, but not the same way I used to. I won't be getting back together with her if that's what you're hoping. I hate that I hurt her, but it's not going to change the way I feel about you, Junmyeon. The damage is done. I love you.”
“I can't, Sehun. I'm sorry.”
Sehun swallowed, his throat feeling unbearably dry. Tears were still stinging his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. At least not in front of Junmyeon. He had to accept this gracefully. He was getting a taste of his own medicine now. He'd broken up only to be rejected. He didn't think he could make more of a mess of his love life.
“Ok,” Sehun breathed, trying his hardest to remain calm. “So I guess that's it then.”
“I'm sorry,” Junmyeon whispered. Sehun merely shook his head.
“No, it's alright. I understand...If there's nothing else to talk about, I'll get going then...”
“Yeah...”
“Thanks for the ride home. It really helped...Stay well, Junmyeon.”
“You too, Sehun.”
The younger offered a weak smile and opened the car door. He hesitated for a brief moment before finally getting out and shutting the door. He walked as fast as he could at that point to get out of Junmyeon's sight so he could wipe at his eyes, which were now leaking tears down his cheeks. He hadn't expected the meeting to go smoothly, but he'd hoped that Junmyeon's feelings for him would have been a little stronger than that. In the end, it really was only Sehun that had fallen so hard.
When he got to his apartment, he kicked his shoes off and rushed into his room. He flopped down on the bed lifelessly, immediately cuddling his bunny plushy to his chest. It would be the closest thing he would ever get to Junmyeon now. He wished it hadn't gotten damaged. He didn't know how to even begin fixing it. Everything was just going to hell, and Sehun was so damn tired.
He cried for a surprisingly long time. He only stopped when his stomach growled and his head ached. He forced himself out of bed long enough for a meal, then he was right back in it, this time to sleep off the exhaustion he'd brought on from crying. Sehun wished he could turn off feelings and social interactions for a while until he could recover, but that wasn't possible. Tomorrow he would have to work again, and this time, he would have nothing to look forward to. He dreaded the next shift he would have with Seulgi. That would be just one more uncomfortable experience.
It took him ages to get to sleep that night, and when he woke up the next morning, he didn't feel rested at all. His only option was to drag himself out of bed and force his way through the day. He hoped time would heal all the wounds he had inflicted on himself and Joohyun. He never should have fallen for Junmyeon.
~*~
part 1 ϟ part 2 ϟ part 3 ϟ part 4