dearest 15
phonecall
ueda
After wondering around Gifu for two weeks, I returned to Tokyo empty-handed and heavy hearted. Jin took me out for dinner on the day I returned and watched with a calm gaze as I cried into my steak.
"Tatsuya," he said gently. "He's how old? He can take care of himself."
"But he's stupid!" I sobbed, pushing my plate away.
"You always say I'm stupid."
"You are! You're both stupid!"
"Tatsuya..."
For the next few weeks or so, I drifted around like a lost soul, having no idea when concerning Ryo. Kay Tee had screamed profanities at me when I told her I couldn't find him, with Kumiko and Jae Hoon restraining her and pleading for me to leave.
And I lived like that until the phonecall.
"Ueda Tatsuya speaking."
"Hey."
The apple in my hand fell to the kitchen bench and I grabbed my jacket, ready to meet him the second he said so.
"Where are you?"
"Gifu."
"Catch a bus back to Tokyo. I'll pick you up and - "
I stopped, straining to hear what I thought I had caught a moment before.
"Ryo?"
"Yeah?"
"What was that?"
A woman's voice had filtered into the mouthpiece from his side. A voice of a young woman, and another.
The next moment was a blur.
"Hey Kana. Miura! C`mere!"
"Ryo, hold this for me?"
"Daddy!"
My blood ran cold. I hung up.
August.
September.
October.
November.
"Look Tatsuya. It's snowing."
Dully, I lifted my gaze to see specks of white decorate the glass panes of the window. Jin watched as my expression remined unchanged and sighed, before sidiling over on the couch and pulling my frozen frame to his.
"It's December. Did you want to go somewhere for Christmas?"
I didn't reply as I continued to stare at the falling snow.
"You know I love you, right?"
I didn't noticce Jin had left the room. I only realised he was gone when the window was coverred with white and I was shivering from the cold.
"Is she pretty, Nakamaru?" I was questioning my best friend about his new girlfriend, whom he had accquired whilst I was in Gifu.
"Incredibly. And she likes it that i wear vests."
I nodded vaguely in agreement and he looked at me with concern.
"It's for the better, no?"
Sometimes, I wondered who the girl was. Did she have black hair like Ryo? Black eyes like Ryo? Did she love Ryo like how I do?
He hadn't called since that day. My heart had broken, and I couldn't find the pieces.