Dearest 07
Questions
ryo
Tatsuya’s sudden announcement of him going on a two month holiday with his boyfriend made me become filled with rage. Rage at Jin for taking Tatsuya away from me. Rage at Tatsuya for not fighting harder to stay in Tokyo. Rage at myself for not being strong enough to let him go. Rage at myself for not being strong enough to pull him back - to keep him to myself.
Kay Tee came over to my apartment that night, and her comfort was something I needed.
“Is he doing this to leave me?” I asked.
Kay Tee didn’t answer as she dug through my DVD collection.
“Maybe it’s a test?”
“Do you feel like comedy tonight, or action?” Kay Tee asked, one hand holding up ‘Meet the Parents’ and the in the other, ‘Alien v. Predator’.
“… is Jin really that much greater than I am?” I continued.
“Comedy? Good choice.”
“… if I killed him, would Tatsuya forgive me?”
“Where do you keep the popcorn, Ryo?” Kay Tee called from the kitchen.
“Does he even love me?”
“If what he has for you isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.”
I looked up to see Kay Tee standing over me, a bowl of popcorn in one hand and the other balancing two cans of cola.
“You serious?”
“Is ‘Meet the Parents’ one of the best comedy movies ever?”
I grinned.
“Yeah… yeah, it is.”
“A toy koala? That’s all you want?”
The milk I was steaming had bubbles in it, causing me to frown.
Tatsuya was seated in front of me, his cup of cappuccino in front of him, half-full.
“And you, of course, but yeah… the koala please.”
Tatsuya stared at me, wondering if I had completely lost my mind.
“Oh, and could you get me some … what do you call them? Macadamia nuts or something? Those too.”
“Ryo… are you feeling alright?”
“Never better,” I smiled, fixing up a macchiato for the customer next to him.
That night, as we made love, I realised one thing - if Tatsuya was doing this because it was the ‘right thing to do’, I would never leave him.
And as he slept soundly after, I played ‘Ai nante’ for him one last time, the music his lullaby - his song.