Dearest 08
Wonder
tatsuya
The plane trip to Australia was, not surprisingly, silent. Jin had brought his laptop on board (holiday my ass) and I stared out the window, wondering if I broke the glass, would I fly into the arms of Ryo.
“Tatsuya.”
I turned to my boyfriend, in awe that he had actually closed his laptop.
“Are you thirsty?”
I shook my head, ready to face the window once more. It didn’t matter that we were seated in first class - the window held my full attention.
“Tatsuya,” Jin tried again.
“What is it, Jin?”
Jin reached over to entwine his fingers with mine.
“I’m sorry.”
“… what is it this time -“
Jin moved his head left, then right.
“No. I’m sorry for everything. Let’s start over.”
The window … could I climb out of it?
“Please.”
And for a moment, as Jin’s lips touched mine, I forgot Ryo, and exactly why he met so much to me.
The hotel we checked into was impressive, to say at the least. As Jin and I walked through the streets of Sydney, a toy koala caught my eye.
“Is it for yourself?” Jin asked as I walked out of the shop.
“A friend.”
My reply was sharp, and the hurt and resentment that flittered across Jin’s face did not escape my notice.
“For another?”
The implications under his words froze me. Jin’s smile did not reach his eyes as he pushed a loose strand of hair back behind my ear.
“Jin…”
Jin turned to me.
“Yes, Tatsuya?”
I couldn’t tell him. Not now; not when everything seemed to work. Jin sighed and looked towards the sky.
“I know. I don’t know who, but I realised that if … if this holiday doesn’t result in how I wish it to, I’ll let you go.”
It took me so much not to collapse and cry in the middle of the street.
If I found out something new on my holiday, it was that Australia made the best fudge.
“Tatsuya, you’re going to get fat from ‘taste testing’ so much,” Jin reprimanded, and I laughed before popping another piece of honey macadamia fudge into my mouth.
“It tastes good.”
Jin rolled his eyes but smiled, wrapping an arm around my waist.
I shrugged and continue to my ‘taste testing’ journey, my mind a mass of churning turmoil. I had sent an email to Ryo, telling him that his toy koala was on its way. He never replied. I had also called Nakamaru and updated him on my current situation. His screaming had caused Jin to rush out of the bathroom, naked and splattering water and foam with every step; he had thought that I was the one yelling my head off.
“But this is wonderful, Ueda!!” Nakamaru gushed.
“It is, isn’t it,” I laughed.
“Yeah, ok - oh. I just got sent the overview of our newest project… don’t think that just because your life is back on track that your workload will be done by me when you get back!! I’ll talk to you later.”
Nakamaru was one to make me feel better, and I watched Jin’s shiny backside probably longer than necessary as he returned to his shower.