Dearest 09
answer
tatsuya
Jin and I were like newlyweds as we relaxed. So much so that I had forgotten about Ryo - until he called me.
“Hello? Ueda Tatsuya speaking.”
“… hey.”
I was momentarily stunned.
“… R-Ryo?”
“How have you been, Tatsuya?”
“I’ve been… well. How are you?”
“Coping.”
The Ryo on the phone sounded years beyond his age. Was he really faring well, or was he lying to keep me at bay?
“How’s Jin?”
“Fine,” I replied too quickly. “How’s Kay Tee?”
“We fought.”
“Oh.”
The silence was deafening. Half of me wanted to break down with the phone clutched in me hand, expressing my eternal love for him and sprinting for the first flight home. The other half had a sinister wish; it wished for the connection to suddenly cut, and for the sound of static to replace Ryo’s voice.
The door opened and closed behind me, and I smiled in greeting to Jin. Jin sidled over to me and kissed my cheek lightly, nuzzling the base of my neck with deep affection.
“Jin’s there, huh,” Ryo noted. It wasn’t a question.
“I’ll be back in two weeks,” I tried.
“Yeah.”
“… I miss you.”
There was no reply, and it took me a while to realise that Ryo had hung up.
“Jin… there’s something I need to tell you,” I opened up at dinner.
“Yes?”
“Back… before we became this close recently… before this holiday… I… I love you, Jin, but I - ”
“I guessed as much.”
His words hit me. How long had he known about Ryo and me? How long had he overlooked the late nights, the secret calls, the empty conversations?
“Yes,” I pressed, “but the thing is, I think he still loves me and…”
“Do you still love him?”
His rebuke stunned me.
“What?”
“Do you still love him?” Jin repeated firmly.
I didn’t answer.
“Think it over,” my boyfriend advised.
A single word escaped my lips as he left.
“Yes.”
The next two weeks flew by, and too soon I was saying goodbye to Australia.
“Jin?”
“Yes, Tatsuya?”
“I love you, you know.”
Jin wrapped an arm around me and pressed his lips against my forehead.
“I do. I’m just unsure about … losing you to this other man. You may be in love with him more.”
“I -”
Jin’s finger to my lips silenced my words.
“I know. I know. And I don’t blame you… but you need to choose very soon.”
“Choose?” I echoed dumbly.
Jin’s eyes never left mine as he nodded.
“Choose. Either me or the other man.”
“I can’t leave you, Jin… my family finally accepted me after all these years because of you. I can’t stand for them to cast me out again,” I whispered.
I dreaded seeing Ryo, because the next time I saw him could be the last.