tell me a story so beautiful..
and now.. another lame day in the life of christina!
SO.. as stated above, today was painstakingly LAME. it was just boring and horrible like every other fucking school day. lets start with the beginning, shall we?
(que adams song by blink 182..)
actually, the beginning of my day wasnt so bad because i woke up early and ate berry burst STRAWBERRY BANANA cheerios! which is definitely the most delish cereal on the market next to berry berry kix.. but anyway! everything was going fine.. i wasnt late for my bus, the weather was nice, whatever. right? WRONG. then stupid-ass chrissy went and looked in the mirror today! mistake much? yes, horrible, i know. everything changes when i look in the mirror and see that repulsive excuse for a face looking back at me. and my idiot friends wonder why ive ever hurt myself? how about you stop lying to me to my face for a change? "oh christina youre so pretty!" "aww chrissy dont say that, i think youre cute!" can you say bullshit times infinity? i OWN a mirror, dipshit. im pretty sure if i was pretty id see kristin kreuk looking back at me when i look at my reflection, assholes. okay now that THATS out of my system.. on to the rest of my day!
so first period was blah once again because, of course, im failing that class too! (mind you, i was supposed to be put in honors english if i wouldve tested into it.. i was in advanced classes throughout middle school.) yes, very very pathetic. and mrs. davis is all like "oh but christina youre so intelligent youre one of the most intelligent in my class you just need to start turning in your assignments!" how about.......... no. lick my ass bitch. i have enough shit to deal with within my first five minutes of coming to conciousness in the morning, let alone compared to my whole fucking day. i have better things to do than read about when we bombed japan. hiroshima sucks. end of story.
alright moving on to second period.. ART! wow art blows. the teacher blows. actually, the teacher is a dumb lesbian who just got out of college and is teaching the most bullshit art class ive ever attended. art is about CREATIVITY and EXPRESSING YOURSELF. not about geometric shapes and lines and shading and whatnot! thats why i dont really care that im failing art, because im failing art on purpose. i signed up for visual arts one so i could express myself and get a grade for it. since im not able to do that, i am going to fail and make her bitchass look like a failure of a teacher. serves you right, whore. wanna know why else art sucks? guess what i dont care if you dont, cause im telling you anyway! it sucks because i am now forced to draw a huge scaled picture.. OF MY FACE. oh HELL no. great! now im gonna draw my hideous face and its going to be so humongous that MY eyes will even be able to see it! (note for the slow: im blind.)
third period is just a BLAST! actually it really is.. its one of my few enjoyable periods. its PE! which is the easiest A. and also the single class that i share with my one and only nicole price! aka sticky nikki! we always have deep conversations during that class. we take pretzels from the other PE teacher and then walk around the track a couple times in this very pleasant new breezy weather and talk about everything and anything that comes to mind! todays topic: mad boy obsession frenzies! unfortunately, we both suffer from the horrid disease. symptons of MBOD (Mad Boy Obsession Disease) include incessant seizures, inability to contain your orgasm, wet dreams, hot sweats, repeating names of specific boys over and over, and raving love rants. okay that was a joke. honestly though, we talked a lot about guys and depression and obsessions and so forth. more in depth, we talked about a boy christina just needs to get OVER very very soon, for the sake of her health! actually hes a really good guy christina just needs to try to remain crushless once again. what a fucking pity..
FOURTH PERIOD HONORS BIOLOGY OH MY GODDDDDDD. caroline artfully (and expertly, i might add) named mrs. harris THE BITCH FROM HELL. which is totally understandable because i try pretty fucking hard in that class (considering the only homework i do and the only studying ever done has been dedicated to that class since it IS honors..) yet i have a C. thats complete bullshit if you ask me. damnit i forgot we had homework in that class tonight! a fattie packet with fill-in-the-blanks that can only be found in the book! kill me now?
lunch. the only "period" that is worth coming to school for. just kidding! school still sucks even with lunch. and i got gross fries today! i got the last bits of the ones that were under the heat lamp and then, because of my wonderful luck, just after i pay a buck for mine (which they definitely were NOT worth today) they bring out a fresh tray of them all hot and pretty and golden-brown! FUCK YOU GOD. wait i take that back, i dont believe in you anyway! so you can "thuck mah bawwwwwwwwwlz!" as cartman puts it! anyway, i better get prettier fries tomorrow or i just might snap.
fifth period! spanish with THENIOR RODRRRRRRRRRRRRRIGUEZTH! tarde tarde! how about you shove that tarde shit up your ass? actually today we had a substitute! so that was cool cause mr. rodriquez has the most faggot-ass and annoying lisp on the planet. but yeah the one thing that makes spanish all the more worth-while (aka beautiful tall man who looks WAYYYYYYY better with black hair) was NOT there! nooooo. yeah but i guess that was sort of a positive thing because i actually paid attention today.. hmm maybe thats why im in danger of failing? WOOPS! alright moving on.
algebra is my sixth and LAST period of the day! im supposed to be in geometry, mind you, but i didnt pay attention for the last half of eighth grade sooooooooo.. here i am! okay so tests make up forty-five percent of your grade.. quizzes i think is the same.. participation counts for a teeny bit.. and homework only counts as fifteen percent of your grade. so since i already know most/all of the material, i never do an ounce of homework, yet ace all my tests and quizzes, therefore having anywhere between a ninety-five and a hundred percent total grade in that class! awesome, i know. today i actually had to pay attention though, because we were learning slope, i remembered that last year i tooooootally didnt understand slope and rate-of-change for my life. but yeah now i get it, so its all good! and i guess sixth period wasnt so bad.. but dont worry the rest of my day makes up for that!
football is the only thing i really look forward to all day. im not saying im obsessed with it, im just saying its [usually] the highlight of my day. i go to school for it. no, not for the guys. im not that shallow. okay so im slightly shallow. but who cares everyones got at least a shred of shallow-ness. so today i realized (during football) that i should just isolate myself from everyone. all of my friends and all of my teachers. (notice how i didnt mention FAMILY. this is because im already isolated from my family so fuck that..) you know why im choosing to do this? because everything i do is wrong. yeah you heard me. its all wrong. all incorrect. im always the one pissing people off. dont ask me why, ask them. im just a biggggg fucking mistake. either its "god chrissy is being such a bitch" or its "omg i cant believe she can talk shit about her to me but then hang out with her like nothings wrong!" NEWS FLASH: weve already had this discussion, and i stated that i wasnt going to talk shit about her anymore to you if it was going to be a problem. and guess what? ive kept my promise! and since then, ive bonded with her even more so. and you know what else? if youre reading this, i dont even fucking care. you can get pissed off at me all you want. cause everyones always pissed off at chrissy anyways! whats one more? and you can tell her ive talked shit. cause im not gonna be a pussy and deny it. so get the fuck over it if i hang out with her, because its not written in stone that if youve once talked shit about someone, that you cant even hang out with them. LICK. MY. ASS.
another notice to those who dont know me: if im upset and you can tell im upset, and you ask me if/why im upset, and i say theres nothing wrong, thats just translation for "i dont want to talk about it right now." OR if im really pissy when you ask me, it means "i dont want to talk about it.. WITH YOU." or if i just totally dont like you, it means "i dont want to talk about it.. with YOU. not now, not ever. so buzz off."
and for future reference.. when i said there was nothing wrong today it translated to "i dont want to talk about it right now." because frankly, i didnt. football is never the time or place to talk about your problems. boys are around. and so are coaches. its distracting. get over it.
also, today after school i went home with nikki! and there was a girl scouts meeting at her place! and i want to join girl scouts so i can go camping with them all and help plan what we wear and what we pack etc! cause i love planning trips and i DEFINITELY love nature. and nikkis mom wants me to join and i guess so does maya! isnt that awesome?! yeah i thought it was awesome too.. that was until i asked my mom if i could. but she thinks she'll have to add more expenditures (is that a word? it was big and sounded intelligent so i used it) to her list of expenditures (tee-hee!) and we're just too fucking poor to afford to make me a girl scout. so screw that idea off to hell.
isnt life just peachy?
SO.. as stated above, today was painstakingly LAME. it was just boring and horrible like every other fucking school day. lets start with the beginning, shall we?
(que adams song by blink 182..)
actually, the beginning of my day wasnt so bad because i woke up early and ate berry burst STRAWBERRY BANANA cheerios! which is definitely the most delish cereal on the market next to berry berry kix.. but anyway! everything was going fine.. i wasnt late for my bus, the weather was nice, whatever. right? WRONG. then stupid-ass chrissy went and looked in the mirror today! mistake much? yes, horrible, i know. everything changes when i look in the mirror and see that repulsive excuse for a face looking back at me. and my idiot friends wonder why ive ever hurt myself? how about you stop lying to me to my face for a change? "oh christina youre so pretty!" "aww chrissy dont say that, i think youre cute!" can you say bullshit times infinity? i OWN a mirror, dipshit. im pretty sure if i was pretty id see kristin kreuk looking back at me when i look at my reflection, assholes. okay now that THATS out of my system.. on to the rest of my day!
so first period was blah once again because, of course, im failing that class too! (mind you, i was supposed to be put in honors english if i wouldve tested into it.. i was in advanced classes throughout middle school.) yes, very very pathetic. and mrs. davis is all like "oh but christina youre so intelligent youre one of the most intelligent in my class you just need to start turning in your assignments!" how about.......... no. lick my ass bitch. i have enough shit to deal with within my first five minutes of coming to conciousness in the morning, let alone compared to my whole fucking day. i have better things to do than read about when we bombed japan. hiroshima sucks. end of story.
alright moving on to second period.. ART! wow art blows. the teacher blows. actually, the teacher is a dumb lesbian who just got out of college and is teaching the most bullshit art class ive ever attended. art is about CREATIVITY and EXPRESSING YOURSELF. not about geometric shapes and lines and shading and whatnot! thats why i dont really care that im failing art, because im failing art on purpose. i signed up for visual arts one so i could express myself and get a grade for it. since im not able to do that, i am going to fail and make her bitchass look like a failure of a teacher. serves you right, whore. wanna know why else art sucks? guess what i dont care if you dont, cause im telling you anyway! it sucks because i am now forced to draw a huge scaled picture.. OF MY FACE. oh HELL no. great! now im gonna draw my hideous face and its going to be so humongous that MY eyes will even be able to see it! (note for the slow: im blind.)
third period is just a BLAST! actually it really is.. its one of my few enjoyable periods. its PE! which is the easiest A. and also the single class that i share with my one and only nicole price! aka sticky nikki! we always have deep conversations during that class. we take pretzels from the other PE teacher and then walk around the track a couple times in this very pleasant new breezy weather and talk about everything and anything that comes to mind! todays topic: mad boy obsession frenzies! unfortunately, we both suffer from the horrid disease. symptons of MBOD (Mad Boy Obsession Disease) include incessant seizures, inability to contain your orgasm, wet dreams, hot sweats, repeating names of specific boys over and over, and raving love rants. okay that was a joke. honestly though, we talked a lot about guys and depression and obsessions and so forth. more in depth, we talked about a boy christina just needs to get OVER very very soon, for the sake of her health! actually hes a really good guy christina just needs to try to remain crushless once again. what a fucking pity..
FOURTH PERIOD HONORS BIOLOGY OH MY GODDDDDDD. caroline artfully (and expertly, i might add) named mrs. harris THE BITCH FROM HELL. which is totally understandable because i try pretty fucking hard in that class (considering the only homework i do and the only studying ever done has been dedicated to that class since it IS honors..) yet i have a C. thats complete bullshit if you ask me. damnit i forgot we had homework in that class tonight! a fattie packet with fill-in-the-blanks that can only be found in the book! kill me now?
lunch. the only "period" that is worth coming to school for. just kidding! school still sucks even with lunch. and i got gross fries today! i got the last bits of the ones that were under the heat lamp and then, because of my wonderful luck, just after i pay a buck for mine (which they definitely were NOT worth today) they bring out a fresh tray of them all hot and pretty and golden-brown! FUCK YOU GOD. wait i take that back, i dont believe in you anyway! so you can "thuck mah bawwwwwwwwwlz!" as cartman puts it! anyway, i better get prettier fries tomorrow or i just might snap.
fifth period! spanish with THENIOR RODRRRRRRRRRRRRRIGUEZTH! tarde tarde! how about you shove that tarde shit up your ass? actually today we had a substitute! so that was cool cause mr. rodriquez has the most faggot-ass and annoying lisp on the planet. but yeah the one thing that makes spanish all the more worth-while (aka beautiful tall man who looks WAYYYYYYY better with black hair) was NOT there! nooooo. yeah but i guess that was sort of a positive thing because i actually paid attention today.. hmm maybe thats why im in danger of failing? WOOPS! alright moving on.
algebra is my sixth and LAST period of the day! im supposed to be in geometry, mind you, but i didnt pay attention for the last half of eighth grade sooooooooo.. here i am! okay so tests make up forty-five percent of your grade.. quizzes i think is the same.. participation counts for a teeny bit.. and homework only counts as fifteen percent of your grade. so since i already know most/all of the material, i never do an ounce of homework, yet ace all my tests and quizzes, therefore having anywhere between a ninety-five and a hundred percent total grade in that class! awesome, i know. today i actually had to pay attention though, because we were learning slope, i remembered that last year i tooooootally didnt understand slope and rate-of-change for my life. but yeah now i get it, so its all good! and i guess sixth period wasnt so bad.. but dont worry the rest of my day makes up for that!
football is the only thing i really look forward to all day. im not saying im obsessed with it, im just saying its [usually] the highlight of my day. i go to school for it. no, not for the guys. im not that shallow. okay so im slightly shallow. but who cares everyones got at least a shred of shallow-ness. so today i realized (during football) that i should just isolate myself from everyone. all of my friends and all of my teachers. (notice how i didnt mention FAMILY. this is because im already isolated from my family so fuck that..) you know why im choosing to do this? because everything i do is wrong. yeah you heard me. its all wrong. all incorrect. im always the one pissing people off. dont ask me why, ask them. im just a biggggg fucking mistake. either its "god chrissy is being such a bitch" or its "omg i cant believe she can talk shit about her to me but then hang out with her like nothings wrong!" NEWS FLASH: weve already had this discussion, and i stated that i wasnt going to talk shit about her anymore to you if it was going to be a problem. and guess what? ive kept my promise! and since then, ive bonded with her even more so. and you know what else? if youre reading this, i dont even fucking care. you can get pissed off at me all you want. cause everyones always pissed off at chrissy anyways! whats one more? and you can tell her ive talked shit. cause im not gonna be a pussy and deny it. so get the fuck over it if i hang out with her, because its not written in stone that if youve once talked shit about someone, that you cant even hang out with them. LICK. MY. ASS.
another notice to those who dont know me: if im upset and you can tell im upset, and you ask me if/why im upset, and i say theres nothing wrong, thats just translation for "i dont want to talk about it right now." OR if im really pissy when you ask me, it means "i dont want to talk about it.. WITH YOU." or if i just totally dont like you, it means "i dont want to talk about it.. with YOU. not now, not ever. so buzz off."
and for future reference.. when i said there was nothing wrong today it translated to "i dont want to talk about it right now." because frankly, i didnt. football is never the time or place to talk about your problems. boys are around. and so are coaches. its distracting. get over it.
also, today after school i went home with nikki! and there was a girl scouts meeting at her place! and i want to join girl scouts so i can go camping with them all and help plan what we wear and what we pack etc! cause i love planning trips and i DEFINITELY love nature. and nikkis mom wants me to join and i guess so does maya! isnt that awesome?! yeah i thought it was awesome too.. that was until i asked my mom if i could. but she thinks she'll have to add more expenditures (is that a word? it was big and sounded intelligent so i used it) to her list of expenditures (tee-hee!) and we're just too fucking poor to afford to make me a girl scout. so screw that idea off to hell.
isnt life just peachy?