Updatedness & stuff
Ahhhh....I miss sleep. Alot. I think the last night I had of sound sleep that lasted more than 2 hours was the week after I got down to Texas. It was during my meltdown after spending a week in the hospital. I think I only slept so well because I had someone there who held me(literally) the whole time I cried, wailed & flustered myself into a stupor, and finally to sleep. He didn't let go of me the entire time, until he got up to go to work - 9 hours later. God, I love Cary. I can't recall ever feeling so safe & protected; like when you think the boogeyman is under your bed & the only thing that will save you is the invincble layer of blankets on your bed.
Ok that was such a stupid analogy. I suck at this lately.
Anyway....Move date has been pushed forward once again to Nov. 8th. I gave my notice a few days ago at work. That in itself & the events immediately preceding are a story worth publishing, btu alas not the moment for me to relive them.
Dad update:
He went back into the hospital a week or so afetr I got home due to massive fluid retention caused by some of the anti- swelling drugs he is/was on (note the irony of that please)...he was supposed to be released Tuesday to go back to the center. I spoke to him at 10am. By 12 they had moved him to the cardiac unit, byt 3pm he was in ICU. At some point in the evening he had a heart attack because they couldn't/wouldn't do any procedures for him because he had already eaten or some bullshit. That was the day I gave notice (yes there is more work-related crap to that)
As of last night at 10pm - he was stable & on his way to being moved back to a regular room. So I can actually half breathe normally again.
I keep feeling like I want to say some very profound things. However, I am having much difficulty in expressing through words, even though I feel them. Hrm...that didn't make much sense either. Ok fuck it then....
Here is my "Revised" schedule: (for now anyway)
Tanning, gym & packing/cleaning almost everyday
10/28/05 - Rehearsal Dinner for Patty's wedding
10/29/05 - Patty's wedding (yes I'll be up at like 8:30...woohoo)
10/30/05 - Early dinner w/family
10/31/05 - Doctor's appointments
11/1/05 - Dinner w/Jackie & Vic?
11/2/05 - Doctor appt.
11/3/05 - Dentist, pick up my dress for Cyn's wedding
11/4/05 - My going away party at Tequila Joe's
11/5/05 - Cyndie's wedding
11/6/06 - Morristown to see Cathy & Lyss
11/7/05 - Stop by Cyn & Len's to check on doggies
11/8/05 - Last day of work / pack up truck / leave
At some point I also have to get the cats to the vet & get a new tire for my truck. When? I have no damn clue.
Went to pick up my shoes for Patty's wedding yesterday, met up w/Cyn & Dria & headed over to the mall where I proceeded to spend more than I have to spend, really. But I had fun hanging out w/her & my pumpkinhead so it was worth it.
Okay I think I'm done for now. There is entirely too much going through my head and my heart feels entirely too much lately depsite my attempts at control. Btu all of that is marred by extreme anxiety. GO figure. Maybe my doctor will give me some xanax; I think I need it. Panic attacks are fun. Really.
Ok that was such a stupid analogy. I suck at this lately.
Anyway....Move date has been pushed forward once again to Nov. 8th. I gave my notice a few days ago at work. That in itself & the events immediately preceding are a story worth publishing, btu alas not the moment for me to relive them.
Dad update:
He went back into the hospital a week or so afetr I got home due to massive fluid retention caused by some of the anti- swelling drugs he is/was on (note the irony of that please)...he was supposed to be released Tuesday to go back to the center. I spoke to him at 10am. By 12 they had moved him to the cardiac unit, byt 3pm he was in ICU. At some point in the evening he had a heart attack because they couldn't/wouldn't do any procedures for him because he had already eaten or some bullshit. That was the day I gave notice (yes there is more work-related crap to that)
As of last night at 10pm - he was stable & on his way to being moved back to a regular room. So I can actually half breathe normally again.
I keep feeling like I want to say some very profound things. However, I am having much difficulty in expressing through words, even though I feel them. Hrm...that didn't make much sense either. Ok fuck it then....
Here is my "Revised" schedule: (for now anyway)
Tanning, gym & packing/cleaning almost everyday
10/28/05 - Rehearsal Dinner for Patty's wedding
10/29/05 - Patty's wedding (yes I'll be up at like 8:30...woohoo)
10/30/05 - Early dinner w/family
10/31/05 - Doctor's appointments
11/1/05 - Dinner w/Jackie & Vic?
11/2/05 - Doctor appt.
11/3/05 - Dentist, pick up my dress for Cyn's wedding
11/4/05 - My going away party at Tequila Joe's
11/5/05 - Cyndie's wedding
11/6/06 - Morristown to see Cathy & Lyss
11/7/05 - Stop by Cyn & Len's to check on doggies
11/8/05 - Last day of work / pack up truck / leave
At some point I also have to get the cats to the vet & get a new tire for my truck. When? I have no damn clue.
Went to pick up my shoes for Patty's wedding yesterday, met up w/Cyn & Dria & headed over to the mall where I proceeded to spend more than I have to spend, really. But I had fun hanging out w/her & my pumpkinhead so it was worth it.
Okay I think I'm done for now. There is entirely too much going through my head and my heart feels entirely too much lately depsite my attempts at control. Btu all of that is marred by extreme anxiety. GO figure. Maybe my doctor will give me some xanax; I think I need it. Panic attacks are fun. Really.