THEY FUCKING KNOW.

[xxanti_narbxx]

I was binging in the kitchen today. And my sister waslike "you know what I hate?" i was like "what?" she goes, "when i find gross stuff in the sink. it looks like food." and i was like "its prolly my um mascara and makeup." she goes "okay"  then i was purging and she knocks on the bathroom door and is like "you in there?" and im like "hold on" and

Comments

[xx_crystalline]

omg i'm worried about you sweetie alskdhafh :(:(

[xxanti_narbxx]

omg im like crying.
dont be worried.
but omg shit.

[xx_crystalline]

i know everyone hates hearing this, but maybe it's time to tell someone and ask for help.

[xxanti_narbxx]

i dont think i have to tell anyone conisdering they already know...
im just waiting for my intervention.

[sugarcane_moon]

I'm with the asking for help thing. Trust me, this cannot be a good thing. I know, blah blah Carley's an old woman blah, but hey...eating disorders. They're not happy things and they're also REALLY not easy to get over. I don't suggest going it alone, and I really don't suggest just continuing along like everything's fine.

Take care of yourself, hon. One of the sad truths of this world is that if you don't, nobody will, especially as you get older.

[xxanti_narbxx]

I don't want help. I was perfectly fine before my sister mentioned it to me. I was happy with my disorder. I think I was at least. I want to contine, but i don't know if I can.

Thanks, and yeah, I'll take care of myself. I know no one else will. I have to depend on myself.

[sugarcane_moon]

I'm no psychologist. Took a few classes, but no psychologist. But I do know that there are a metric ton of health complications that will come from this:

erosion of the enamel of the teeth
dry skin, hair, nails
kidney failure (I had a boyfriend with kidney failure, trust me, it sucks)
heart problems possibly leading to death

Again, I can't convince you to stop, but there you have it.

[xxanti_narbxx]

I took classes too.
I've done it for a year and none of that has happened.

[lovelycoquette]

I'm not gonna lecture, cuz that's lame.

but hey, do what makes you happy. that's horrible advice, aaah. I know. but seriously: if you don't wanna stop: don't.

peoople think if you tell someone to stop, it's gonna help. it's not.

just hopefully you'll realize you need to stop. so, I can only hope you come to that realization and WANT to get better. one day.

major love. ♥

[xxanti_narbxx]

Thank you. I can't stand another lecture.

I'm happy with this. I can't stop. It's impossible.

lol marry me, please? You're like pretty much the only person who gets it.

[lovelycoquette]

haha. I'm sure.

Nah, I understand. from one addict to another, I knowwww. although my addiction was alcohol, it's all the same basis.

people forced me to stop, and it always backfired. it only made me wanna do it more, just to spite them.

oh yeah, i get it. too much. so yeah, don't feel ashamed. people can fuck off if they try to lock you up, or do shit.

but seriously: be careful [as lame as that sounds]

[xxanti_narbxx]

Yeah, addictons are hard to overcome. Like purging is my obsession. I didn't get to finsih purging today and I'm freaking out.

No one has said anything yet. But I can feel the tension in the air.

Yeah, I don't want to see a theripist. I don't need one. I'm not sick.

[ryden_addictic]

i tottaly get what ur saying. ur not sick ur differnt.
you lke the way you are but ur scared if it at the same time... its ok. *hugs*
<3

[xxanti_narbxx]

I'm not scared of it at all. I'm just scared of what's going to happen now that I got caught.

[ryden_addictic]

ohh
well the worst thats going to happen is counciling and a watch on what you eat and what you do in the bathroom...
so i dont think you wana get caught you would much rather get help ur self but only if you wanted. Its ur life do what ever you want with it.

[xxanti_narbxx]

Yeah, I kmow. I don't want people to monitor me.
I don't want to help myself, seeing as I dont think I need help.

[tip_painter]

Uhm, that sucks. But purging in general sucks. It fucks with your heart, and basically, there's the chance you'll die every time you do it - doesn't matter for how long you've been doing it.

Since you don't think your ED is a problem yet, maybe just stick to restricting and exercising. You can always tell people you've been feeling sick for a while or whatever. But if you keep up the purging it'll be more likely that people will be on your case and watching you closely. Just try to hide shit better and make up a whole bunch of good excuses.

[xxanti_narbxx]

Ugh, I don't think I'm going to die though, that's the thing. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack if I eat and don't purge.

I excersice daily. I've been hiding it, but a few times I effed up and my sister caught on. I've tried excuses, but I get caught of gaurd and come up with lame ones.