bruises

[xxbabytigerxx]

i've been purging more lately than i have been ever (i have only turned to purging occationally in the past few years but the past week i've been purging at least once every day). i used to get broken blood vessels all around my eyes which is why i wouldn't purge very often, but i guess i am better at purging now and only got a few little dots

Comments

[katee26]

Hi Sweety, I'm sorry to hear, that you are purging so much lately! I don't know why you are bruising, but it's not far fetched to think it is because of the frequent purging..

Please be careful. Purging is so very very dangerous. it's bacicly like drinking acid! it can severely damage your teeth, throat and stomache. You probably know this already, but it is really one of the worst things you can put your body through.... and it doesn't even work.. most of the calories you consume have already entered your blood stream by the time you purge it anyway, so it really is a lose lose situation.

okay, so I'm done with the lecture...

I hope you can get out of the purging cycle you are in now.. I know how relieving it can feel to rid your body from food, it truely is addictive, but it's a lie.. nothing good will ever come from it.

Hugs & Huga

<333333333333333

Katee

[xxbabytigerxx]

thank you so much <3
i really don't want to get into this cycle but for some reason i have totally lost my ability to restrict. i think it's my new life/job (i just moved to a new country and am an Au Pair) and most days i'm home alone all day with a baby so i just eat and eat and no matter how hard i try i feel like i have no control anymore. before i could talk myself out of eating anything and would restrict and fast and felt so good and now i don't know what happened. i guess i just purge to at least feel like i'm making an effort because i'm so disgusted with myself for not having the control anymore. i just don't really know what to do because it's like i don't trust myself anymore. i need to do something though because yesterday my teeth hurt and today the bruising.. i need to get out of it but i can't do that without my ability to restrict.
anyways i'm just rambling, but thank you so much for your message.
*hugs*
xoxoxoxox

[katee26]

it sounds so stressful to be in a foreign country as an Au Pair, that is seriously brave of you!! I don't think I could ever do that

[xxbabytigerxx]

you are truly inspirational and your message is so helpful. i just need to control my portions, eat healthy and then i'll be okay.
today is a new day and i will definitely be trying my best from now on. your advice is so correct - fasting always ends in a binge. i'm going to really have to put effort in to get control back on this situation, just like it sounds you have been doing!
Keep up the good work :)
i'm here if you need to talk as well
<3

[ngxx]

sorry to hear abotu the purging :( its been up for me too. really not fun. hmm no random bruises for me. only the ones on my hands from my teeth. i hope things get better for you soon. do you know why you are purging more?

[xxbabytigerxx]

i hope so too, for both of us.
i'm not sure what is causing me to binge so much (the fact the i'm alone a lot now maybe, or out of boredom?). but i just want to get control back and restrict again or at least moderate my portions.

[ngxx]

yea, being alone can be a trigger :/ i think thats a big part of why it had gone up for me. good luck!

[last_nice_guy]

Are your hands on your thighs when you're purging? I could imagine, as you're tensing up to force the food up, your hands are clenching hard. Especially if you're having such a difficult time getting anything up.
Otherwise, I've got no clue.

But, please be careful with purging!

[madisonshine]

I was about to say this! I purge daily and always end up doing that or pick at scabs, if I happen to have one hand free. It ties up with the anxiety and I don't even notice. I am just so focused. I don't think I even feel it either, which is understandable seeing as I am deepthroating an entire toothbrush.

[xxbabytigerxx]

i know exactly what you mean. you get so focused that you don't even realize anything other than (like you said deepthroating an entire toothbrush) so the rest of my body really does go unnoticed.

[xxbabytigerxx]

no because i use a toothbrush but i think you're right that it's from my whole body tensing because that's what happens with the blood vessels around my eyes so it makes sense that something similar could happen other places on my body too.
thank you <3
i want to be careful too :(