im a big fat hurtin smile and for some god damned reason people make feel like i should apologize. i cant honestly be sorry for anyone else's current life choices and i shouldn't feel obligated to feel any damn thing for mine. fucking recurrent shit, i know, but thats how it goes when youre havin a damn good time all over the place. sorry i spilled ( Read more... )

i sweat like no other ( Read more... )

im off for a week and i plan on spending the entire time at the lake. apparently i was born to kneeboard, among other things. i love it all right now, if i was capable of taking care of a camera i would have the most awesome pictures, but im not. my cellphone will have to do, and it seems to do just what i need it to. i cant wait until i spend the ( Read more... )

if you ever wondered what the hell is going on youre probably missing the fucking point--because the point is to just be. just fucking roll with it. i cant shake the idea that this is a great river im on, and it speeds up and slows down and it's deep and shallow and it's always changing and i just feel like i was built to take every single drop of ( Read more... )

fuck it, apparently im one of the few thats knows how to ride the goddamn rollercoaster. good luck getting me off, or convincing me it's not fun. ill break down one day, but it sure as shit isnt now and that, my friends, is whats up. smiles and laughs 24/7 might seem superficial but in my reality they are the core of this. i breathe to laugh and ( Read more... )

ive never cried so much in my entire life. ever. i didnt know it was still possible to sob uncontrollably, or still feel anything this heavy like im feeling now. and i cant tell if im taking things super terribly hard or if im taking them exactly how they should be fucking taken.

i just feel like sincerely apologizing to anyone thats ever cared about me in any way. i was dealt a bullshit hand, and responded (in my seventeen year old brain) 100% accordingly. and thats the whole story. it worked, and still works. having a good fucking time right here and now is all i plan to do until this shit runs out. i dont care when it ( Read more... )

holy shit what happens after you have a weekend when you max out? does life lose it's value when reach ultimate euphoria? it definitely makes everything else pale, and that kind of scares me. it still leaves a nice warmth though. i want to stop feeling like i beat a goddamn game so i can continue. and watch the first jaws over and over and over.

working forty hours a week has reminded me why i like to party myself to death. being wide awake and left to my own thoughts gets really frustrating because i want to talk about them, or at least remember them, but theyre only there for that moment and then im left wondering what the fuck i just contemplated for two hours. yeah, in a way my brain ( Read more... )

let it roll. let it fucking roll.