now we wait
wait and see if we get this appartment
im so nervous
i move in 5 days
i really hope we get it.
man, did i say how nervous i am?

she touched my arm ( Read more... )

holy crap
im having a panic attack
im shaking
i feel like im going to vomit
oh yeaa, i cant breath
ahhhh

im so scared
holy crap
seriously
at least
i have kendra
if it wasnt for her doing this with me
i think i would die.

really
holy crap

today
i give my 2 weeks notice at work
meaning
ill be moving
on the 5 or 6th
most likely
i doubt ill have a going away party
like planned
because i just really dont care
i just want to get out of here
but
if you would like to see me
before i leave
let me know
because id probably like to see you
at least once more in my life time

i feel sick all of a sudden.

i hate dreaming
because i only dream of you.

i never know what to say anymore.

2 weeks and counting.

xXfetishaXx5 (6:23:45 PM): haha, im amazing at this sex at work thing....
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SuperSoaker3 (6:24:05 PM): OMG
SuperSoaker3 (6:24:16 PM): lacey you are a GOD! you hear that? A MOTHERFUCKING GOD

haha god, im a horrible person.
but i cant help it
im human
i have needs
and steve is really hott
he was egging me on.

maybe this is why i say that i LOVE my job when you people ask...haha.

i think joey and i are breaking up...
i dont know what to do.
i dont think he ever loved me...
the way i love him
he told me we were getting married
he said we would be forever
i believed he was the one.
and now, i feel so lost
i knew it was going bad
with all the anger
the name calling, yelling
the abuse
god, help me

i need a drink

i woke up excited
and i cant stop smiling
and my tummy is full of anxious butterflies
i love the way they make me feel
because im once again alive when they are around
my life is just begining
and this adventure is going to be amazing
i cant wait
this is so exciting

well...i got my meds
finally
im waiting for them to kick in
everything is still really foggy
and my head is killing me
i feel drunk pretty much
minus the drinking

and no one noticed, i was trying to kill myself.