It's not that I'm afraid to die...

[xxdream]

Thinking over my recent entries and other assorted events, it occurs to me my fears are long-term and don't usually apply to the moment. It is both dumb as hell- my fear of a happening in my possible future may in fact bring about the act into truth. Most likely it won't happen at all. A fear gives me a chance to prevent. I can keep in mind and

Comments

[ministry_victim]

Everything you do is triggered by an emotion of either desire or fear.

Buddhists would disagree, and frankly, so do I. Desire and fear are heavy motivators, but there are the rare occasions where someone may act in an altruistic manner, and not totally understand why. There's no want nor fear involved in that equation.

[xxdream]

okay, so mostly?

*smiles*

[ministry_victim]

Mostly? Yes. I'd say mostly.

[fieryfae469]

Fright flight fight, is it genetic or character flaw? Whenever I am going through a most intense emotional or hormoal upheaval is when my fears are most vivid. After each child was born, the changes physically emotionally and hormonally triggered real and insane fears to hit. I would burst into tears or terror whenever a scary movie was on, or to hear news of abuse to children... OH that was the worst. a deep dread of that happening or wild windswept emotions moving through me ...
Character flaw?? I think moreso it is our realization that life is changing, and we are adapting to it. Perhaps those times are when we are more in tune with the ageold intuitions that all before us have had.

I notice as parent some things you think are mostly environment bred are traits you are born with. A mixture surely, but sometimes environment doesn't matter as much as I thought. You might be mostly the way you are even if what happened to you through your life didn't. yes this is how I think too. I mean, my life was strangely "abnormal"

[xxdream]

Hmm, interesting you mention children. Did you find it leveled as time passed? It was with chloe's birth that time began to move faster, How quickly everything passes has me cling a little. thus I am afraid of change. Though in many ways I really, really like it.

I added an edit to my post re your question character flaw, it refers to the belief in being fearless = success.

I loved your reply and am interested in the thoughts you need more time to think through. <3

Ramble

[teflonfeathers]

I really don't know what fear is, because it's so easily confused with caution.
I'm cautious about a lot of things though.
But none of them are insurmountable.

Bitterness is a tougher opponent. Only way to beat that is through positive focus.
But bitterness tastes so good.

The only things that are really scary are dreams, because in a bad dream, the concious, intellectual mind isn't there to act as a buffer. When you're terrified, you're just terrified and there's no rational to say otherwise.

Re: Ramble

[xxdream]

maybe caution is a part of fear. insurmountable, lived in, whatever :)

bitterness makes me feel dirty, that is one thing I am glad to let go.

Hmm. I'm -really- scared of more than dreams. Though I have had a few heart stopping nightmares.

[versengtemasse]

How is it for me? Am I braver than you?

I think that this easily could have been my post. I feel you've described me quite well, so I'm sorry to hear that you feel the same way. But you're one up on most people--you recognize your fear. Try not to ever let it stop you.

[xxdream]

Yes, I try not to allow fear to choke my freedom, it helps to have little shelters.