General Ways to Annoy People.
Here is a list of my favourite ways to annoy people, taken from Get Annoyed. Not all of them are here so go check out the website. Some are quite entertaining!
1. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
2. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I WIN!".
3. Any time a member of the opposite sex tried to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, i will NOT go out with you."
4. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
5. As people talk smell their shoulders. (lololololol)
6. Ask people to prove everything they say. (eg. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
7. Ask people what gender they are.
8. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
9. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the".
10. Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger". Refer to yourself as "Coach"
11. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a".
12. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
13. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
14. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
15. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "is that a threat?"
16. Every time someone asks you to do something, asl them if they want fries with that.
17. Go up to someone and say "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.
18. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
19. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, i never knew i had this!"
20. Shake with your left hand
21. Stare at people for five minutes, making sure they know your staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission:Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat
22. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"
23. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the vincinity.
24. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
25. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
26. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
In an Elevator:
27. Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
28. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
29. Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
30. Blow spit balls at the ceiling.
31. Bring a chair along.
32. Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
33. Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
34. Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on
35. Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
36. Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
37. Collect an elevator tax.
38. Do Tai Chi exercises.
39. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
40. Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball!
41. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
42. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
43. Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
44. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
45. Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
46. Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)
47. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
48. Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
49. Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
50. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now... motion sickness!”
In the Public Bathroom
51. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
52. Fill up a large flask w/ Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
53. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peekaboo!"
At the beach
54. Every time when you're about to duck under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
55. Act like a sea gull.
geez_louise_xox and i made up more ways to annoy people. Here are some we made up:
(hope you like them! lmao)
1. Poke people at every opportunity (guarenteed to annoy)
2. Remove hair and fluff from people's clothes.
3. When you see a tag hanging out of someone's clothes shout, "TAG DAG!" and proceed to rush over and fix it.
4. Fly paper airplanes at people. Insist you are training for the air-force.
5. Shake up cans of fizzy drink in the supermarket.
6. Wear a mask and cape and pretend you are spiderman (channel your inner spidy!). Go around pretending to shoot and capture bad guys in your invisible web.
7. Sit near a bin. Whenever anyone tries to put any rubbish in it, shout angrily at them to not disrespect your home.
8. When every a colleague is talking, talk over the top of them about something 'embarrassing'. Tell whoever can hear about the time you missed the toilet etc etc (use your imagination!). When they tell you to be quiet shout "Don't interrupt! I'm sure everyone is more interested in my bladder!"
Ok, so the last one isn't really funny? The reason: i made that one up.... LOL.
And lj tells me my spelling of favourite is wrong! i'm australian! not american! gosh.
1. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
2. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I WIN!".
3. Any time a member of the opposite sex tried to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, i will NOT go out with you."
4. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
5. As people talk smell their shoulders. (lololololol)
6. Ask people to prove everything they say. (eg. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
7. Ask people what gender they are.
8. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
9. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the".
10. Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger". Refer to yourself as "Coach"
11. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a".
12. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
13. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
14. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
15. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "is that a threat?"
16. Every time someone asks you to do something, asl them if they want fries with that.
17. Go up to someone and say "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.
18. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
19. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, i never knew i had this!"
20. Shake with your left hand
21. Stare at people for five minutes, making sure they know your staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission:Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat
22. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"
23. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the vincinity.
24. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
25. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
26. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
In an Elevator:
27. Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
28. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
29. Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
30. Blow spit balls at the ceiling.
31. Bring a chair along.
32. Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
33. Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
34. Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on
35. Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
36. Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
37. Collect an elevator tax.
38. Do Tai Chi exercises.
39. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
40. Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball!
41. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
42. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
43. Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
44. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
45. Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
46. Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)
47. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
48. Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
49. Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
50. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now... motion sickness!”
In the Public Bathroom
51. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
52. Fill up a large flask w/ Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
53. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peekaboo!"
At the beach
54. Every time when you're about to duck under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
55. Act like a sea gull.
geez_louise_xox and i made up more ways to annoy people. Here are some we made up:
(hope you like them! lmao)
1. Poke people at every opportunity (guarenteed to annoy)
2. Remove hair and fluff from people's clothes.
3. When you see a tag hanging out of someone's clothes shout, "TAG DAG!" and proceed to rush over and fix it.
4. Fly paper airplanes at people. Insist you are training for the air-force.
5. Shake up cans of fizzy drink in the supermarket.
6. Wear a mask and cape and pretend you are spiderman (channel your inner spidy!). Go around pretending to shoot and capture bad guys in your invisible web.
7. Sit near a bin. Whenever anyone tries to put any rubbish in it, shout angrily at them to not disrespect your home.
8. When every a colleague is talking, talk over the top of them about something 'embarrassing'. Tell whoever can hear about the time you missed the toilet etc etc (use your imagination!). When they tell you to be quiet shout "Don't interrupt! I'm sure everyone is more interested in my bladder!"
Ok, so the last one isn't really funny? The reason: i made that one up.... LOL.
And lj tells me my spelling of favourite is wrong! i'm australian! not american! gosh.