(no subject)
this feels like it's going to be a long entry.
so my dad. he was born in scarborough and lived all over ontario growing up. he has two sisters, and one brother all older than him. my aunt marsha, aunt susan and uncle greg. we haven't been in contact with greg ever, i met him for the first and last time at my grandma's funeral. where he had to be forcefully removed because he wasn't in the will. we haven't been in contact with my aunt susan since i was smaller, which is unfortunate. her daughter is very close to me in age, although growing up she was quite spoiled. my aunt marsha lives just outside ottawa and we spent a large amount of my childhood with her, my uncle pat and their children.
but i digress, my dad was largely influenced by my grandfather growing up. i didn't know him all that well as he had Alzheimer's ever since i can remember, but he apparently spent alot of time stressing over finances and my dad picked up on that as a child.
he traveled for work, leaving sunday afternoon and returning friday afternoon from around the time i was 9 or 10 until only a few years ago. as a result he was nothing but a very angry presence in my life for quite a long time. he came home on weekends and spent most of his time in his office doing paperwork, and the rest of the time storming around the house yelling.
as with most children i spent alot of time trying to get his attention. i used to go with him to the office. and i do have memories of before the traveling period of baking blueberry muffins, and him making dollar pancakes for breakfast when i had sleepovers. once he started traveling something in him changed.
i think alot of my friends believed i exaggerated what i experienced at home, while i would never claim to have things as bad as say "a child called it", my dad did hit me, slap me, shove me to the ground and pin me down, as well as an incredible amount of emotional abuse.
as for my mom. my mom has five sisters; [in order of oldest to youngest] aunt lois, aunt marlene, aunt cindy, my mom, aunt april, and aunt madonna. as well as one half brother who is the result of my grandfather's affair. my mom lived in shoal harbour, newfoundland [just outside clarenville] until she was 16. at which point due to my grandfather's affair she ran away from home. she somehow made it to vancouver, BC. and i'm willing to admit i don't know much about that period of her life. i know she was dealing drugs, and i can only imagine what else.
someway or another she ended up in toronto and got a job working at bell canada. i'm sure she originally had the best of intentions with starting a family, although i know i wasn't planned. my mom is bipolar, and while i don't imagine the drug use helped matters at all, she didn't get help for a really long time and spent years self medicating with alcohol. although she was the parent that stayed at home while my dad was traveling she still seemed absent. me and my mother still have issues. as i mentioned in a previous post i've been going to a support group to try and find a way to cope with having her as a mother. admittedly, i wouldn't mind a support group to deal with my dad as well, but he's gotten slightly more tolerable since i no longer live in the same area code.
my mom is currently planning on moving back to newfoundland, i'm not sure if this will actually happen, or if she even knows what she's getting herself into. but she has agreed to allow my aunt april handle her finances.
and this post has made me feel pretty drained. and there's probably alot more i could write. but i'd say this qualifies as great detail in any case.