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I don't even know how to put this in writing, but I should attempt to unwind. I am at a loss for words, and probably will be disappointed by the time I reach the end. Disappointed? Probably because I know that this could never even began to unravel what I truly want to say. Disappointed? Because I know that my one ability to write for the
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What happened?
Anyway, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent.
You're looking for someone to listen to you, which is why you posted here . . . And it is not 'going off' to explain what's going wrong.
Why does she just ignore me? I believe I know the answer, because I have been told this all my life. She believes that I just love the attention, but I cannot surrender to that thought yet. Once I believe that, the only thing that I have lived for would have been shot. I continue on hoping that I can help others and ease others pain, not the other way around. If I believe I wanted any attention, I could not live with myself anymore.
I don't think "attention" in general is what you're looking for, I think it's acceptance. But since I do not know you in person, I can't say for sure.
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Nice, thoughtful post.
Do you want to feel better?
I'm not trying to be a smartass... I really want to know.
What do you think you can do to be better able to cope? Can you come up with a list of steps? You seem smart... I bet you can. Give it a shot and we will help. Identify specific things you can do to make yourself just a little happier. Forget about what other people think... this is about you.
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