So keep it close to your heart, because heart to hearts are over done; I'm just pushing harder because this time, oh this time the pain won't get the advantage. Pain isn't something I fear anymore... I feel it everyday; the numbness comsumes me. But it's almost worth it, becasue like my messiah, you're the only one who can make me feel. The rest ( Read more... )

It's been forever since I've touched base around here but I'm not giving it up like the times before. Forever I neglected to be here, but now my presense and neverdying need for somewhere to scream has brought me back.

The love of my life wants to love me.. and so I'm waiting. Just waiting.. dear god.. how long am I going to have to wait? Well, I' ( Read more... )

Tell me you love me. Tell me I'm wonderful. The broken windows and shattered hearts are as bad as the work you put into them. (All you did was take.) And feel. And breathe. (just fucking.. breathe.) The air is so cold that when you breathe in your soul gets chills and your mind stops in dead heat. Laces of cold air surrond your subtle existance. ( ( Read more... )

i havent written in so long.. i miss this place.

Yesterday Jody Saundra Jamie and I went to the Colorado Mills mall. I was amazed at how large it is. The hot topic is twice the size of the Park Meadows mall. So yea. It was fun driving up there. We drove down colfax and stopped at Oh My Goth. I love that store. Its so much better than the other stores that are around. Yea. So we tried on stuff. ( Read more... )

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Well today was interesting. I just sat around so far, I may go out and do something with someone have I the time/money/desire. I would have wanted to go to the brand new concert, but Im not allowed to go to concerts, so yea. -shrug- not like I would have anyone to go with anyway..So yea. Yesterday I did nothing. I sat around and worked all day ( Read more... )

LOST IN THE DISTANCE. I cant let go of everything I wasnt and I what I wish I was. breathing has become a chore. (and we all know I hate chores.) Time wont tell anymore, the clock doesnt tick but it travels to fast. And I cant stand it anymore. TIME DOESNT PASS BUT IT PASSES TO FAST. And all I can even hope to wish is for death, because suicide is ( Read more... )

So here I am. I finnaly decided to write in my damn LJ, sorry Ive been so busy latly. Ive had this thing for over 2 months and ive never gotten around to making it and updating. But now I did. So yea.. Anyway.. Today my parents are beng psycho and wont let me go out at all becuase my dad yesterday told me that he needs 5 sets of cards by monday. ( Read more... )