Comments | xxnaruuchihaxx: Doubted Memories #1

xxnaruuchihaxx

Doubted Memories #1

Sep 02, 2010 00:12

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"The number one ninja has arrived! My last name is Uzumaki, and my first name is Naruto. What most people call me is-
(Sasuke) "Usuratonkachi"
"Usuratonkachi!!! Nande?! Oi! Sasuke-Teme!"
"Hn" In some part of the anime.

( Read more... )

livejournal, welcome

Comments 8

A good start. mggrubb85 September 2 2010, 06:50:27 UTC

I liked it. It had a few grammatical errors, but I liked reading it. I hope you keep on writing.

xxnaruuchihaxx September 2 2010, 15:25:51 UTC

oh thanx =) i'll keep on writing and sorry for the grammatical errors I'm still new at this but thanx for pointing that out =D

mggrubb85 September 2 2010, 16:54:43 UTC

Don't stress the errors too much, I still have people point them out in my stuff.

xxnaruuchihaxx September 2 2010, 17:09:42 UTC

xD Your right but still it's cool that you pointed it out for me b/c i was in a major rush. I just created this in the middle of the night in my noteook. So then the next day I looked up the chapters and episodes from where I got the quotes and well it was late and well i was typing everything in a rush since my mom was telling me to go to sleep.

bigcutesmile September 3 2010, 21:36:17 UTC

Nice start, I like it! <3
However, you kept going from Naruto's internal POV to an external POV. Also, the narrative part shouldn't be framed by stars. If you want the dialogue to be prominent in your writing, italicize what's narrative (or the other way round).
It's very good, needs to be polished a bit, but still a good read~!

Have you thought about a beta? ;)

xxnaruuchihaxx September 4 2010, 03:33:55 UTC

xD Oh thanks for the advice =) And I'm glad you liked it. At first I wrote evrything not sure of wether to post it or not but I'm glad I did ;).Thanks ^_^ Oh and no....I haven't exactly thought about a beta.

bigcutesmile September 12 2010, 09:12:36 UTC

If you don't post what you write, you'll never progress! I'm glad you posted as well! =)

You should try one! At least once. It really helps with writing ^^

xxnaruuchihaxx September 12 2010, 21:58:00 UTC

Yeah, some of my friends love to write and well they would always read my stories saying that the story was good. And they told me to post my stories up online for critics and that way I'll make progress. =) And okay I'll try using a beta =) Thank you for your advice =) I posted a new chapter to this story you can read it if you like =)