White Walls

Jan 09, 2010 22:58


Title: White Walls
Author: xxqod
Pairing: Taemin/Jonghyun

Rating: PG-13

A/N: credits to SHINee prompt generator.

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White. White. White. Everywhere. Left. Right. In front. And behind. He doesn't dare to look up. He's going crazy. Everything is white. From the walls to the furniture, from the furniture to his clothes. From his clothes to his skin… When he looks in the mirror it's like a vague spirit like version of himself watches him with large white eyes. No colour in them except for the black of his pupil. He knows it is how he really looks. Not some joke the mirror plays on him.  His hair was first nice and black, and he dyed it a few times. Brown and before this all happened, his hair was blond going to brown.

He doesn’t know how it had happened, he just knows one day he woke up deadly pale and the next few days everything became white. His parents hurried him to the hospital. More white. He hated white. No matter how people associated it with angels. In their eyes he was just a monster. Different from the rest of them.

Going through hundreds of tests nothing came out of it. The only conclusion was he looks like an albino now. And there is no sign he would ever return to his multi-coloured, black-wearing self. It kills him to know that. His childhood friend Kibum had looked in horror when he visited him and hasn't visited him after. His brother Jinki is overseas and only heard about it from their parents, but he didn’t make any plans in coming back soon. His only hope was Minho. The boy was silent and it unnerved him, but at least he had patted him on the back on his first visit and told him everything would be alright.

As on cue the knob of his room turns and Minho walks in. But he isn't alone and Jonghyun quickly throws his blankets over him, not wanting that other person to see him. He can't handle more insults.

"Jonghyun." The deep voice of Minho calls out to him.

"You don't have to be afraid. Taemin isn’t like those people."

Jonghyun slowly pulls the blanket back and stares at the smaller person behind Minho. He sees the shock in his eyes, but a smile appears on his face.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Taemin. I go to the same school as Minho-hyung. He told me a lot about you and you sound like a nice person, so I wanted to meet you." Taemin finishes neatly with a bow, while Jonghyun ponders on the sincerity of this boy. Minho clears his throat and Jonghyun snaps back to the matter on hand.

"Sorry. I'm Jonghyun and I went to your school, before this happened." He motions widely at himself and a tear suddenly slips from his eye.  Taemin is by his side in a second and holds him in his tiny arms. Neither notices how Minho silently disappears through the door.

"Don't cry hyung." Taemin sounds like he's panicking, lack of experience in comforting people. But he tries nonetheless. He tilts Jonghyun's head up a little and kisses him softly on the lips, like his mother always did to him when he felt sad. Jonghyun's sobbing stops almost immediately and he watches Taemin with large eyes.

"W-why did you do t-that?" Jonghyun stammers, touching his lips, he couldn't deny this strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Taemin shrugs, "It's the way my mother always calmed me down."

"You can do that more often…" A soft whisper. Taemin doesn't catch the sentence and Jonghyun doesn't feel like repeating.

He visits more often, sometimes with Minho, but Minho drops by lesser and lesser. Soon it's only Taemin who visits him and Jonghyun has something to look out to. Everyday Taemin comes by and makes his homework in the same room where Jonghyun lies, watching him move his pencil over the paper, stick his tongue out in concentration, furrow his brows when he stumbles on difficult questions.

One day Taemin doesn’t come. Jonghyun is anxious and waits for him. He doesn’t sleep and watches the white walls. The white he didn't notice anymore when Taemin is there, but is so overwhelmingly present the moment he isn't here.

The second day there is still no Taemin and Jonghyun eyes hurt. Lack of sleep and the white walls reflecting the light from outside doesn’t really help him. He ends up not eating, concern fills him, and there is simply no room for food anymore.

The third day he screams, screams for Taemin so loud and agonizing the nurses are flooding into the room to hold him down. Give him some medicine to relax his muscles, make him sleep. It doesn't work, he's going berserk with all the white surrounding him and he needs his pillar of colour. The boy who is his bridge to the colourful world outside. He screams more, straining against the binds the doctors strapped him with and ends up vomiting blood. At least his blood isn’t white.

The fourth day he is a lifeless shell on the bed. His eyes stare wide-opened at the ceiling. Also white. His head snaps to the side when the door creaks and Taemin stands there. All colour, nowhere white to see, perhaps only his teeth and eyes, but Jonghyun can live with that. The backpack in his hand falls on the floor when he sees Jonghyun strapped to the bed. The box with crayons falls out of it and scatters all over the place.

"Jonghyun-hyung?" Taemin's voice is small and unsure. Jonghyun turns his gaze back to the ceiling, ignoring the boy by his side. It is not until the hot tears stream down his face he breathes heavy and screws his eyes shut. The feeling of those soft but chappy lips against his does nothing to calm him down. Instead he sobs harder, filling the room with his crying sounds. He shouts out all his frustrations and Taemin just drops down on the floor rocking himself back and forth when Jonghyun screams, chilling the air, sending shivers of fear down Taemin's spine.

It is a week since he last saw Taemin. He chuckles in himself, on the verge of breakdown. The doctors gave up on his sanity and the only thing he mutters is Taemin's name, while laughing this hollow laugh. Minho suddenly stands beside him and Jonghyun gets a shock, turning his lips up in a smile, but the hand around his windpipe makes it hard.

"Bastard." Minho spits it in his face and Jonghyun is seriously scared for his life when the hand clenches down harder on his throat. His hands struggle against the straps, but they don't loosen. He wheezes and he feels lightheaded.

"That boy cares for you more than for his own family, he is hardly at home. He is always here, watching over you, just making sure you have company. You're pathetic. He was three days grounded because he is never home. But he doesn’t care, because the next day he is here in your room, even if his parents forbid him and you fucking scare him away!" Minho pushes down hard against his windpipe before releasing him all together.

"You behave yourself." Minho says, opening the door to reveal Taemin standing there with large, moist eyes. Jonghyun can’t bring himself to look at the boy. But the warm feeling is back in his stomach. A hand slap across his cheek, and he feels the stinging of his skin.

"What do you think you’re doing?" He sounds malicious but Taemin isn’t scared and slaps him again.

"Giving you colour." And indeed when Taemin holds a hand mirror in front of his face, his cheeks look red. Jonghyun stares at his reflection, not believing his skin can actually have a colour, even though it hurts a little.

"I…I" He doesn't know what to say and Taemin interrupts him in his stammering.
"It's not the end of the world. Things can happen, but the most important thing is, you're still alive." He slowly lets his fingers brush over the soft skin of Jonghyun's face, going up through his hair. Jonghyun doesn't  ignore him, doesn't cry in front of him, doesn't scream at him, when Taemin presses his lips against his for the third time in three weeks of knowing each other. He just lets it happen, eyes twinkling when Taemin pulls away. He doesn't notice the straps no longer holding him down, but he sure feels free.

"Hyung, you're blushing." And this time Jonghyun sits up and hastily grabs the hand mirror, seeing his reflection with red tinted cheeks and he smiles, a real smile. He turns to smile at Taemin and when Taemin smiles back at him it feels like the sun is burning only for them, giving the room a yellow tint.

A box with crayons is dropped on his lap and Jonghyun looks questioningly at Taemin, who shrugs. He hands Jonghyun a light blue crayon and takes a green one himself. He traces the white wall with the crayon, drawing a green bird on it. Then he takes a yellow crayon and colours the sun above the bird. Jonghyun watches him but soon stands besides him. Their shoulders bump and they look briefly at each other, before Jonghyun presses the crayon against the white he hates so much. He draws a sea, because he knows how to and picks up a red afterwards. And because he's childish like that, he makes a bright red heart on the white background writing their names in it in all the colours of the rainbow.

He takes Taemin's hand in his and interlaces their fingers, slightly squeezing them. They don't have to speak to understand each other and when Taemin passes him a bag with colourful clothes in it, he silently changes into it. They walk out of the white confinements Jonghyun was in for all this time, giving their surroundings colour with the crayons they're holding.

-Let us colour your world.-

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A/N: okay, wow. I read it after writing and I seriously didn't know it would be like this XD Please comment =3 !!


pairing: jonghyun/taemin, !fanfic

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