Irresistible Infatuation [one-shot]
Title: Irresistible Infatuation
Author: xxqod
Pairing: Jonghyun/Taemin
Rating: PG-15
Prompt: So much easier to run away
Summary: Jonghyun is being his usual self, so why is Taemin running away from him?
A/N: written for inucrazzes I love you! ♥ proofread by specialises ♥ Thank you ^^
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Taemin backed away from the room he was in seconds ago. Before Jonghyun decided to come in and sit next to him on the couch, close enough for their legs to touch and shoulders to bump. Taemin had slowly inched away from him by feigning that he had to stretch his arms or legs, sliding more to the left side from the middle where he had been sitting. It was almost like Jonghyun was glue, sticking to him the second he settled down in his new spot a few centimetres from his original position.
It wasn't like he didn't like the close proximity of Jonghyun's body, or the scent of his perfume wafting him in the face, but his body just wouldn't calm down every time the older boy came close to him. So when Jonghyun wanted to sling an arm around Taemin's shoulders, the younger bolted, saying he forgot to finish his homework earlier this afternoon. He felt Jonghyun's eyes on him as he escaped the room.
The reason for Taemin's behaviour was a pretty acceptable one, if it involved a certain someone doing certain things in his dreams, which made him react the way he did. Sometimes he woke up drenched in cold sweat, limbs tense and mind hazed as vivid images replayed. He would lie awake the whole night, trying to rid himself of the guilty feelings the thumping of his heart caused him. Sometimes he wished it would actually happen.
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Taemin knew he was screwed the moment he first laid eyes on the older boy, meeting with big eyes staring straight at him. Unwillingly his own gaze traced every feature of that face. He liked it, very much. It was only when his eyes slowly made their way down toned arms (not as toned as they are now, but nicely shaped back then too) and lingered a little too long at the hem of the others wife beater, did Taemin decide that he was infatuated.
It just meant he had to distance himself and it worked wonders, because who are close like friends the first day you meet? Jonghyun and Kibum apparently, and Taemin watched how they joked together like they've known each other their entire lives. He didn't even know he was staring until he felt a hand on his shoulder, saw Jinki’s smile and Minho in the corner of the room, his eyes like a hawk's on him. Taemin fidgeted a little bit.
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Taemin went into the bathroom, completely forgetting it would be better to seek refuge in the bedroom or study, especially since he used homework as an excuse. He sank against the cool tiles between the toilet and bathtub, hand coming up to sweep the bangs from his eyes. He couldn't take it anymore, all these things that Jonghyun is doing to him. He wanted it to stop, but didn't that mean he didn't want Jonghyun to give him nice smiles and subtle touches or even a massage after an intensive dance practice?
No, he still wanted all of that, but the rate at which his heart was going every time made him sick. So he figured running would be the best. He slid further down the wall until he was on his back and closed his eyes. Taemin remembered all those times Jonghyun and him had been really close, mainly because Taemin couldn't control himself and had tackled the other with a hug. Jonghyun's laughter when he did something like that, was joyous and he never shrugged the younger boy off, knowing Taemin needed some affection once in a while.
Taemin wondered if it was after debut, somewhere between Jonghyun always messing with his bowl cut hair and Amigo days that the older boy began to give him more attention, more lingering gazes and more touches around his shoulders or waist. Just the thought of it made his cheeks heat up. He hated how he felt, but he also hated how his thoughts were always occupied with Jonghyun.
Taemin knew his infatuation with Jonghyun was worsening with each passing day. Every time he saw him walking around the dorm, humming a tune, or emerging from the shower, hair still dripping and jeans undone around his hips. Taemin would always avert his eyes and mumble something about finishing an assignment under the knowing gaze of Key. But Key never said anything about it, he only smiled (a bit sadly) when Taemin turned on his heels and left the room Jonghyun was in at that moment.
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The limit had hit when Juliette days started and Jonghyun showed him his lyrics saying he should really hear it, because it was so lovely. Taemin sat on the chair next to Jonghyun's in the study and listened when Jonghyun let the words flow in perfect harmony with the melody coming from the stereo system. He pretended Jonghyun was singing the song to him, hoping he meant what he sung, but Taemin wasn't pretending when he placed his palms on Jonghyun's knees and leaned up closer.
He stopped when Jonghyun stopped singing, the moment broken when his name spilt from the plump lips of the older boy, question mark attached to it. He had bolted from the room and left Jonghyun staring after him. He never knew the other had a small smile playing around his lips before he returned to singing his song, eyes fixated on the small photo on the corner of his desk. Maybe Key had been right.
To his most dreaded perceptions it seemed Jonghyun was around him a lot more. Taemin acted like it didn't affect him at all, but sometimes he just felt this need to touch the older boy, brush his fingers along the other's arm when they were posing for photo shoots. He always imagined how Jonghyun would smile a bit wider there and then, his eyes giving off this glow of happiness. He noticed how Jonghyun always sought him out first or made a move to pull him closer, which Taemin sidestepped most of the time, so Jonghyun caught air.
During Ring Ding Dong Taemin was deprived of Jonghyun's touches, it seemed the other wasn't as fond of him anymore and Taemin felt sad just seeing Jonghyun joke around with everybody except him.
JoJo made it all better though and Taemin had been shocked when Jonghyun touched his face. His first reaction was to bolt, instead he tilted his head away from the hand, giving perfect access for Jonghyun to trace his hand further down for everybody to see. Taemin didn't know how bad he blushed and he didn't know why there was this sudden change in attitude, but he liked it. As long as he could still remember the lyrics and dance moves after the electrifying brush along his jaw.
The second time Taemin was anticipating Jonghyun and he controlled his own body better than he thought, seeing how badly he wanted to reach out. The times after Jonghyun ceased the touching with their eyes locked as they both smiled a bit too widely. It caused Taemin to wonder if Jonghyun's heart was beating like crazy too. Maybe, just maybe he had to accept that Jonghyun was just a bit more than an infatuation and it scared him.
The running away occurred more often after they finished their schedules and Jonghyun came over to him to talk or rest his head against a shoulder. Everybody felt what was going on, but Taemin didn't care about the way they looked at him, he was more bothered with how he was losing control way too often. It resulted into more dreams where Jonghyun was there with him, nobody else and Jonghyun slowly closed in on him. Every step Jonghyun took forward made Taemin take two steps back until he met the wall…
The day they got kidnapped by KBS and heard they had to do Hello Baby, Taemin felt torn between happiness and fear, fear because well… The way Jonghyun looked made his heart beat erratically and his breathing shallow. He hoped Jonghyun didn't see this as a chance to stay close to him. No such luck though. Every time during recording Taemin felt Jonghyun's arms wrap around him, pulling him closer, he was glad the air in the room was still cold, or else this undeniable blush would be visible on his cheeks.
Taemin stood nailed to the floor when he heard the sleeping arrangements. He swallowed thickly as he looked at the blankets and pillows in the middle. One blanket for two persons. He glanced at Jonghyun who ignored the fact they had to sleep under the same blanket. Taemin wished he would notice and ask for a single sized blanket, but Jonghyun actually voiced he liked the warmth of another person next to him, especially in cold months. All the while looking straight into Taemin's eyes.
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The air in the bathroom felt suffocating and Taemin pushed himself back to his feet, working the clothes of his body before he stepped underneath the shower spray. His heart thumped when his mind visualised images of Jonghyun walking in on him and his breath became a little shallower. Luckily he had turned the cold water hose on so his mind wouldn't wander further down the path of lust. However, he didn't hear the creaking of the door.
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It proved difficult for Taemin to stay away from Jonghyun with the filming they did for Hello Baby. The younger always tried to get to the other side of the room, but trust Jonghyun to find a way to get him into his grip. He cornered Taemin a lot more in between the shootings and Taemin suspected Key of telling Jonghyun where he hid. Jonghyun never asked him questions, just wrapped his arms around him and hummed a love song or two in his ear, releasing Taemin after and walking back to the others.
Taemin ran to the bathroom to splash water on his reddening cheeks. He didn't understand what Jonghyun was doing, not to him and not in general. He felt utterly confused, even though he knew what caused his heart to beat this rapidly. It felt weird. He wasn't supposed to feel something like that for his band mate and friend right? He looked up at his mirror image and hardened the expression on his face. He was determined not to get distracted by Jonghyun again and just enjoy the extra attention he would get.
With this mindset in place, dealing with Jonghyun and his skin ship wasn't that hard. He actually felt happier than when he had been avoiding the other. It showed a lot too, but when they began to take care of Yoogeun, it seemed like all eyes weren't on him anymore. From the first moment, Key and Minho devoted themselves to the boy, leaving Taemin with Jonghyun and Onew. But soon Jonghyun tried to get all of Yoogeun's attention and Onew was only thinking about ways to make the little boy like him.
Needless to say, Taemin felt abandoned. But as night came, he would lie under the blanket, always making sure he was there before Jonghyun, because it would be awkward to crawl in next to him. He held his breath as Jonghyun lifted the other side of the covers, sneaking in and after a few seconds rolled to Taemin's side, his arm snaking around the younger one's waist and his head against his shoulder. Taemin liked it, even though he was barely able to sleep because of it.
---
It didn't help his body relax at all, reliving all those moments. His soapy hands wandered further, not touching like he wanted to wash himself but imagining they were hands belonging to somebody else. He mewled when his fingers skimmed across his stomach and he released a shuddering breath. He shouldn't be doing this and so he stopped. As his attention turned back to rinsing out his long hair, his mind wandered yet again, not that he minded that much.
---
Taemin noticed after a few days that Jonghyun started to look at him again, but also turned a lot to the others, not only to Taemin anymore. It helped Taemin to deal with his infatuation better, as Jonghyun was not constantly next to him. It would be a lie to say that he didn't miss it though. Sometimes he came into a room and Jonghyun suddenly became quieter and distanced himself from the person he was whispering with before Taemin entered. But if he thought Taemin didn't see it, he was terribly wrong.
One night there was a surprise, because that morning Taemin woke up next to Minho, who put a lot of distance between Jonghyun and him. As he looked closely at Minho's face he didn't feel bothered and he leaned even closer, touching noses. Still his heart didn't beat faster nor did his cheeks turn crimson. A cough however made him look behind Minho and his eyes widened when Jonghyun appeared in his vision. The older boy raised an eyebrow as Taemin stuttered something and ran, embarrassment hitting him a bit too much.
He locked himself in the washroom and closed his eyes, thinking about how it must've looked to Jonghyun. A soft voice startled him, whispering about Juliette and after that about JoJo. But Taemin couldn't and wouldn't have it, so he kicked the door and told the owner of the voice to go away. A muffled reply sounded through the door and Taemin heard feet walking away. He couldn't take it at this moment. Even if Jonghyun tried to calm him and put up with his antics. Taemin closed his eyes again and slowly exhaled the air in his lungs.
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His hands found the wall as the water sprayed down on his body. His eyes were squeezed shut as his head hung low between his arms. He didn't want to think about that, but it always came back, it hurt him, denying those feelings. But above all, he thought it would've hurt Jonghyun more. Why did he act like that? There weren't any excuses; Taemin needed to face up to his feelings. He was going to do that. He was going to tell Jonghyun.
---
Taemin was dead-tired by the time they were done with Hello Baby and slowly ended all of their performances. They would be starting on their second album after a few weeks of quietness and then they would be blown with practicing. Taemin looked forward to it, though he didn't quite like how Jonghyun would be going out more with Key or Joon. He felt left out. But in the evenings Jonghyun would be there in the study, writing furiously in his notebook.
Sometimes the door was left open and Taemin would peek inside to watch Jonghyun write with his back to him. He would quickly run past if Jonghyun made the slightest movement that looked like he would turn around and catch Taemin watching. He never saw Jonghyun's smile playing around those full lips as the older boy continued to hum and sing words to the melody, fully aware of someone watching him. Key was definitely right.
Taemin was excited when they discussed about the album and came up with a matching concept. When he finally got his haircut, he practically beamed all the time. He was amazed at all the changes they had gone through from the moment they first got involved with being in SHINee. The voice behind him made him turn and there stood Jonghyun, new haircut and clothes already on his body. Taemin blanked.
Jonghyun smirked and his eyes looked at Taemin's form, lingering at his face to see the ponytail swinging behind the younger. His smirk softened in a smile, but Taemin's eyes were stuck at his arms visible in his leather vest. A cough woke Taemin up and he heard Jonghyun wishing him luck with the individual shooting before he walked away.
Taemin gasped when he saw the other's back, and he felt bothered with the tightening of his heart, but he couldn't flee. The camera started running and Taemin started to dance and move in the tunnel, unaware of Jonghyun watching him with eyes that raked all over his light dancer's body. The younger boy smirked at the camera and the look in his eyes couldn't have been more killing.
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The soap was all cleaned from his body and his hair clung to the sides of his face. Taemin turned off the shower, shaking the water from his bangs. The droplets on his face were wiped away with his hand, still with his mind elsewhere. He reached back to push the glass door open to let the steam escape. He still stood there a while before he turned around, his gaze on the floor so he wouldn't trip over the edge of the stall. He felt around for his towel and took hold of fabric, but his eyes turned wide as he saw a pair of feet in front of his own...
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Taemin had been on the internet a lot and it concerned Key, being the great umma he is. He thought it would be very nice idea to get Jonghyun to look at the boy, because being Key, he wanted to do something about this situation that had been going on for this period of time. He wouldn't be the Almighty Key if he couldn't solve this tiny 'problem'. So he got Jonghyun off his ass with a kick to the shin and had him check on the younger boy.
A minute or so later, Taemin emerged all flustered from the room, walking into the kitchen before turning on his heels and locking himself in the bathroom, like he had been doing more often. Jonghyun came out after, his face a lot more surprised, but Key only grinned and pointed to the bathroom door and the older boy let out a sound of understanding. He didn't continue the pursuit and Key didn't tell him to do so. It would come in time.
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Taemin slowly looked up and with every inch his eyes trailed upward, the more it became evident who was with him in the bathroom. Until he met the other's eyes he was still pretty calm, but he freaked looking in those large, brown eyes. He grabbed his towel as fast as he could and covered himself. He kept silent, even if it would be more logical to tell the other to leave. His voice didn't come out and he swallowed thickly when the other just stared at him. So much for making his mind up.
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Taemin noticed Jonghyun turned more of his attention to him again and he was happy, happy he got back the attention he had before. He still felt bothered when Jonghyun wanted to have physical contact, so he still dodged most of Jonghyun's advances. Much to the other three's amusement, and to Jonghyun's agitation. It was no wonder he trailed after the younger a lot more, asking him why he was always ignored, only to be met with a closed door a second later.
The photo shoot for the album was on a nice day and so far, Taemin really liked all the photographs they took. But as the group photos were taken, Jonghyun suddenly put his hand on Taemin's chest and they both looked at Jonghyun's hand staying there. It was as if time stood still and they didn't see the flash of the camera. Taemin excused himself and ran with a blush adorning his cheeks and his eyes teary because of that overwhelming feeling in his chest. This was the hardest moment to live through as he finally dared to admit it was more than infatuation. It was love.
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Taemin turned and moved away from Jonghyun, but the older one wasn't buying any of it. He took hold of Taemin's wrists while Taemin struggled to pull his hands free, his hair falling around his face. He made to the door but met Jonghyun, who was blocking his only way out. Taemin didn't back off however and put his hands on Jonghyun's shoulder to push him aside. The arm around his waist was unexpected and the feel of Jonghyun's body against his wasn't what he wanted, not at that moment at least. But he couldn't break free, he couldn't run, he couldn't hide with Jonghyun securing him in his arms.
His hands were between them, flat against Jonghyun's chest and he wanted to punch it, slam his fists against it. He didn't sign up for this, but his body just followed the sensations. He frowned when Jonghyun's hands trailed up and pressed down hard on his shoulders, their faces too close for comfort for the younger boy. Jonghyun took a breath and Taemin lost his when Jonghyun just slammed his lips against his own.
It felt good, more out of this world than anything and his eyes closed automatically. Jonghyun tugged on his long hair and Taemin just let himself go. He wiggled around till he could put his arms around Jonghyun's neck and he pushed himself closer. It really was too much for him when Jonghyun let go all together and his legs shook badly. Taemin sucked in the much needed air after they broke apart and looked at the older boy. Jonghyun winked at him, before he dove right in again, trapping Taemin against the opposite wall. Taemin decided that he really did not have to run anymore.