Bring Me To Life (2/?)
Title: Bring Me To Life
Pairing: Kurt/Puck Quinn/Mercedes Artie/ Tina Finn/Rachel
Rating: R just to be sure, cause I'm not sure how far this is going yet.
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Spoilers: Theatricality, Funk
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters
Summary: Kurt has a split personality that won't go away.
Of all the things that had gone wrong in his life, Kurt's sudden trust in him was the worst. He'd never given Hummel any reason to like him, that much was obvious. Yet, the smaller boy had somehow found something in Puck that Kurt felt could save him. And it scared the shit out of him
Kurt's weird behavior had been lost on him. He'd been too consumed by his own worthless self pity to notice that his Glee-mate had become...whatever the hell that was. He hadn't noticed Hummel's distance away from those he should consider his friends. He didn't notice how he kind of ran on autopilot most of the time. And for the most part, he didn't care.
He'd never treated Hummel like a human being. Before glee, he had tormented the younger boy. He hadn't done it out of homophobia like Karofsky. He sure as hell didn't do it because his best friend was like Azimio. He'd done it because he felt Hummel deserved it.
Who in the hell had give Hummel the right to walk around with superiority? Who'd thought it fair that Hummel not have any problems in his too perfect life. Hummel gained a friend, while he lost a friend. Hummel had a father that gave a shit. What the hell had Hummel done to deserve that?So what that he didn't have a mother? If his old lady was anything like Puck's, it was a blessing she'd kicked the bucket.
Then he'd joined glee, and he had lost interest in Hummel. He had his own problems, didn't have time to bring Kurt back down to the real world where life's not fucking fair. Honestly, he'd spent a small amount of time the the other boy, and he had to admit, he wasn't so bad. He'd even defended Kurt on several counts. Was that why the smaller boy suddenly believed that he could depend on Puck to save him?
Puck wasn't good at supporting. His mother couldn't depend on him, his baby's mother wouldn't depend on him. Yet small, needy Kurt depended on him. What gave him the fucking right? What gave him the right to give Puck priorities that he actually felt obligated to tend to? Puck shouldn't give a shit, didn't want to give a shit.
Yet looking at Hummel after that performance, unconscious and deeply tormented by something dark and painful, he found that all he could do was give a shit. He watched Mr. Shue lift Hummel up like it was nothing and move to carry him out to the nurse's office. He shouldn't feel the need to make sure that Hummel gets there alright, make sure his dad finds out. But he does. He watches as Finn gets up and follows after Shuester. Of fucking course. Kurt is sorta his step-brother now. He should be the one to deal with whatever the hell is going on with Hummel.
But this is Finn and Finn isn't capable of taking care of anything. And Hummel wanted Puck's help, not Finn's. No one moves. Mercedes looks torn between crying and chasing after Shuester. Quinn holds her hand as she just watches nothing with a faraway look in her eye. Everyone looks shaken up. Who can blame them? They'd just watched one of their own lose it.
Tick Tock.
The ticking is the only sound in the room, has been for at least thirty minutes. Shuester still isn't back and Puck wants to shoot that damn clock. Every second that passes is another second he feels like he's failing Kurt. He wants to go to wake up and realize that it has all been a dream. When he wakes up, his dad will be home reading the paper. His mom won't be fuck faced drunk. Finn will still be his best friend. Quinn won't be pregnant. Kurt Hummel won't be depending on him.
But Puck isn't stupid, knows that wanting will get him no where.
It's obvious that Glee is over for the day, but no one wants to leave until they know for sure. Is Kurt alright? Of course he's not alright.
Tick Tock.
Another ten minutes pass. The door opens slowly and Shuester steps in, not at all surprised to see everyone still there. He looks shaken up, like what happened to Kurt was his fault. Of course, it partly is. Puck thinks that he knows what happens to Kurt every morning by the dumpsters, but he wants to forget. Puck can't blame him. He wants to forget too. Wants to pretend.
But Puck's a realist and pretending won't do shit for his current situation. Pretending won't do shit for Kurt. He's tired of pretending anyway.
"Is Kurt alright?" Brittany asks. Puck doesn't blame her for having those tears in her eyes.
"No, Kurt definitely isn't alright," Shuester asks.
"Will he be?" Mercedes asks.
"I'm not sure. His dad is going to try and get Kurt some help."
"This close to Regionals and we lose a member. Not to mention what this will do to Finn," Rachel cuts in.
"Stop thinking about yourself!" Quinn spits.
"I'm not!" Rachel answers back.
"Then what do you call it?" Brittany asks, confused.
"I've never had anything like this happen to a friend of mine, okay. This is the only way I can cope, by staying as normal as possible," Rachel admits dejectedly.
"I think that we should all go home, get a good night's rest." Shue turns before the sentence is even halfway out his mouth.
Everyone left together, quiet, thoughtful. Puck stayed put. He could still see Kurt's eyes. It'd scared him. They'd almost looked like his mom's, but so much darker, emptier. He hated that look. He looked out the window, the rain pouring down. Thunder boomed and he sighed heavily. So damn fitting that Hummel would bug out on such a gloomy day. He picked up his guitar. He needed to vent. One song came to mind.
Can you help me out?
Can you lend me a hand?
It's safe to say that
I'm stuck again
Trapped between this life and the light
I just can't figure out
How to make it right
A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more
Something more...
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
With every tomorrow comes another life
I feel it's gonna rain
For days and days
I feel it's gonna rain
I tried to figure out
I can understand
What it means to live on again
Trapped between the truth and the consequence
Nothings real
Nothings making sense
A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more
Something more...
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
Rain like this
Fall down
Wash away my yesterdays
Fall down
So let the rain fall down on me
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
Let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
Rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain...
He finished the song a note late, thinking over his current dilemma. He felt like he needed a shower. He felt dirty and tainted with Kurt's sorrow. He went straight to the bathroom when he got home. He struggled to get out of his clothes, wet jeans sticking tightly to his legs. Finally stripping himself down, he entered the shower and turned it on hot. It burned his skin, but he found that he didn't really care. He wanted to be clean again. But he hadn't been clean in a long time.
The water ran cold, his little sister banging on the door, complaining about her shower. He turned the water off and dressed quickly. He stared in the mirror for awhile, but he couldn't recognize his face. He saw half of himself, the right side of his face contorted with confusion and despair. The left side of his face was a horrible, green monster.
His envy.
His envy of Finn and Quinn. His envy of Kurt. He was a monster. He destroyed lives. He killed souls. He shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to see, but even then, he saw himself as the green beast. His sister pounded on the door once again and he opened his eyes. The monster was gone, and his face was his again. He frowned in confusion. Michaela pounded on the door again. He jerked it open in annoyance.
"You've been in there for hours." He didn't answer her, just stared at her. "What's wrong with you? You're acting like a freak."
Once again the green monster flashed before his eyes. He ignored Michaela, maneuvering around her to get to his room. Once he was in the safety of his haven, he broke down, letting out a shuttering sigh. When did things get so fucked up? He just wanted to be normal.
Normal. Yeah fucking right. He was a teenage dad. He was a loser. He was a monster. That wasn't fucking normal. His head hurt and he just wanted to sleep. He laid back on the bed and pulled the covers around him, creating a warm nest. But every goddamn time he closed his eyes, he saw Kurt's. When he opened his eyes, he saw himself as the horrid green monster. He cursed loudly, but the words didn't get past his pillow.
How the hell was he supposed to help Kurt when he was so fucked up himself?
*******************
Not as dark, but I wanted it that way. Don't worry. The next chapter focuses on Kurt and is bound to be just as dark as the first. Reviews of all kinds are welcome.
Pairing: Kurt/Puck Quinn/Mercedes Artie/ Tina Finn/Rachel
Rating: R just to be sure, cause I'm not sure how far this is going yet.
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Spoilers: Theatricality, Funk
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters
Summary: Kurt has a split personality that won't go away.
Of all the things that had gone wrong in his life, Kurt's sudden trust in him was the worst. He'd never given Hummel any reason to like him, that much was obvious. Yet, the smaller boy had somehow found something in Puck that Kurt felt could save him. And it scared the shit out of him
Kurt's weird behavior had been lost on him. He'd been too consumed by his own worthless self pity to notice that his Glee-mate had become...whatever the hell that was. He hadn't noticed Hummel's distance away from those he should consider his friends. He didn't notice how he kind of ran on autopilot most of the time. And for the most part, he didn't care.
He'd never treated Hummel like a human being. Before glee, he had tormented the younger boy. He hadn't done it out of homophobia like Karofsky. He sure as hell didn't do it because his best friend was like Azimio. He'd done it because he felt Hummel deserved it.
Who in the hell had give Hummel the right to walk around with superiority? Who'd thought it fair that Hummel not have any problems in his too perfect life. Hummel gained a friend, while he lost a friend. Hummel had a father that gave a shit. What the hell had Hummel done to deserve that?So what that he didn't have a mother? If his old lady was anything like Puck's, it was a blessing she'd kicked the bucket.
Then he'd joined glee, and he had lost interest in Hummel. He had his own problems, didn't have time to bring Kurt back down to the real world where life's not fucking fair. Honestly, he'd spent a small amount of time the the other boy, and he had to admit, he wasn't so bad. He'd even defended Kurt on several counts. Was that why the smaller boy suddenly believed that he could depend on Puck to save him?
Puck wasn't good at supporting. His mother couldn't depend on him, his baby's mother wouldn't depend on him. Yet small, needy Kurt depended on him. What gave him the fucking right? What gave him the right to give Puck priorities that he actually felt obligated to tend to? Puck shouldn't give a shit, didn't want to give a shit.
Yet looking at Hummel after that performance, unconscious and deeply tormented by something dark and painful, he found that all he could do was give a shit. He watched Mr. Shue lift Hummel up like it was nothing and move to carry him out to the nurse's office. He shouldn't feel the need to make sure that Hummel gets there alright, make sure his dad finds out. But he does. He watches as Finn gets up and follows after Shuester. Of fucking course. Kurt is sorta his step-brother now. He should be the one to deal with whatever the hell is going on with Hummel.
But this is Finn and Finn isn't capable of taking care of anything. And Hummel wanted Puck's help, not Finn's. No one moves. Mercedes looks torn between crying and chasing after Shuester. Quinn holds her hand as she just watches nothing with a faraway look in her eye. Everyone looks shaken up. Who can blame them? They'd just watched one of their own lose it.
Tick Tock.
The ticking is the only sound in the room, has been for at least thirty minutes. Shuester still isn't back and Puck wants to shoot that damn clock. Every second that passes is another second he feels like he's failing Kurt. He wants to go to wake up and realize that it has all been a dream. When he wakes up, his dad will be home reading the paper. His mom won't be fuck faced drunk. Finn will still be his best friend. Quinn won't be pregnant. Kurt Hummel won't be depending on him.
But Puck isn't stupid, knows that wanting will get him no where.
It's obvious that Glee is over for the day, but no one wants to leave until they know for sure. Is Kurt alright? Of course he's not alright.
Tick Tock.
Another ten minutes pass. The door opens slowly and Shuester steps in, not at all surprised to see everyone still there. He looks shaken up, like what happened to Kurt was his fault. Of course, it partly is. Puck thinks that he knows what happens to Kurt every morning by the dumpsters, but he wants to forget. Puck can't blame him. He wants to forget too. Wants to pretend.
But Puck's a realist and pretending won't do shit for his current situation. Pretending won't do shit for Kurt. He's tired of pretending anyway.
"Is Kurt alright?" Brittany asks. Puck doesn't blame her for having those tears in her eyes.
"No, Kurt definitely isn't alright," Shuester asks.
"Will he be?" Mercedes asks.
"I'm not sure. His dad is going to try and get Kurt some help."
"This close to Regionals and we lose a member. Not to mention what this will do to Finn," Rachel cuts in.
"Stop thinking about yourself!" Quinn spits.
"I'm not!" Rachel answers back.
"Then what do you call it?" Brittany asks, confused.
"I've never had anything like this happen to a friend of mine, okay. This is the only way I can cope, by staying as normal as possible," Rachel admits dejectedly.
"I think that we should all go home, get a good night's rest." Shue turns before the sentence is even halfway out his mouth.
Everyone left together, quiet, thoughtful. Puck stayed put. He could still see Kurt's eyes. It'd scared him. They'd almost looked like his mom's, but so much darker, emptier. He hated that look. He looked out the window, the rain pouring down. Thunder boomed and he sighed heavily. So damn fitting that Hummel would bug out on such a gloomy day. He picked up his guitar. He needed to vent. One song came to mind.
Can you help me out?
Can you lend me a hand?
It's safe to say that
I'm stuck again
Trapped between this life and the light
I just can't figure out
How to make it right
A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more
Something more...
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
With every tomorrow comes another life
I feel it's gonna rain
For days and days
I feel it's gonna rain
I tried to figure out
I can understand
What it means to live on again
Trapped between the truth and the consequence
Nothings real
Nothings making sense
A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more
Something more...
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
Rain like this
Fall down
Wash away my yesterdays
Fall down
So let the rain fall down on me
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
Let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
Rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain...
He finished the song a note late, thinking over his current dilemma. He felt like he needed a shower. He felt dirty and tainted with Kurt's sorrow. He went straight to the bathroom when he got home. He struggled to get out of his clothes, wet jeans sticking tightly to his legs. Finally stripping himself down, he entered the shower and turned it on hot. It burned his skin, but he found that he didn't really care. He wanted to be clean again. But he hadn't been clean in a long time.
The water ran cold, his little sister banging on the door, complaining about her shower. He turned the water off and dressed quickly. He stared in the mirror for awhile, but he couldn't recognize his face. He saw half of himself, the right side of his face contorted with confusion and despair. The left side of his face was a horrible, green monster.
His envy.
His envy of Finn and Quinn. His envy of Kurt. He was a monster. He destroyed lives. He killed souls. He shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to see, but even then, he saw himself as the green beast. His sister pounded on the door once again and he opened his eyes. The monster was gone, and his face was his again. He frowned in confusion. Michaela pounded on the door again. He jerked it open in annoyance.
"You've been in there for hours." He didn't answer her, just stared at her. "What's wrong with you? You're acting like a freak."
Once again the green monster flashed before his eyes. He ignored Michaela, maneuvering around her to get to his room. Once he was in the safety of his haven, he broke down, letting out a shuttering sigh. When did things get so fucked up? He just wanted to be normal.
Normal. Yeah fucking right. He was a teenage dad. He was a loser. He was a monster. That wasn't fucking normal. His head hurt and he just wanted to sleep. He laid back on the bed and pulled the covers around him, creating a warm nest. But every goddamn time he closed his eyes, he saw Kurt's. When he opened his eyes, he saw himself as the horrid green monster. He cursed loudly, but the words didn't get past his pillow.
How the hell was he supposed to help Kurt when he was so fucked up himself?
*******************
Not as dark, but I wanted it that way. Don't worry. The next chapter focuses on Kurt and is bound to be just as dark as the first. Reviews of all kinds are welcome.