Sexual Violence on Campus

[xxxkaliaxxx]

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week at my school are dedicated to Take Back the Night and educating about sexual violence. I had assumed that I would not be able to attend the actual Take Back the Night speak out and demonstration but it turns out it is this Wed not this Tues. And so I will attend

Comments

[phluffhed]

Your third to last, and last paragraphs pretty much explain why I hate college so much. I walk around school, and see these like, typical alpha male jock frat boy stupid long island pieces of shit and am so glad that I'm not one of them, and that I'm not friends with any of them either. Walking from class to class I overhear "dudes" tellin' their "bro's" "look at that chick, holy shit, I'd bang the fuck out of her!" and like, calling out to her, and I'll think to myself "who actually does that???". Its like watching a bad movie, and you think to yourself "no one really acts like that in public, do they??".... but they do, and its really pathetic. Its scary how delluded these guys are

[xxxkaliaxxx]

Thank you for your comments there. I thought those were wonderful. Sounds like the atmosphere of your college is even worse than mine. Do you live on campus?

And you are right there just is no level of respect. I mean I don't mean to knock the party scene or anyone who drinks. I do believe there is a such thing as responsible drinking but I rarely see anyone who truly knows their limits or who even watches out for their friends limits. I have never gone to a party on campus.

[phluffhed]

I've never experienced an "on campus party" either, for I live at home (thankfully). Although I'd love to be away from the reach of my parents, I'd actually rather be alone than living with the trash of long island.

From a too-personal point of view

[charcoaldove]

Alcohol is never an excuse for violence and lack of self-restraint in sexual desires.

Spiked cases are different. It's sad when the wrong friends are trusted. Whichever case, the blame should not fall on rape victims. Because they feel shitty and guilty enough.

Re: From a too-personal point of view

[xxxkaliaxxx]

*hugs* I am really sorry to hear this if you are speaking from a persoanl stand point. But thank you for sharing your comments.

Re: From a too-personal point of view

[charcoaldove]

I wasn't raped, a very loved friend of mine was - I couldn't stop crying for weeks. I've been stalked twice and molested thrice though. I took action only on the third and last time - that happened only last year... no worries, kalia

Re: From a too-personal point of view

[xxxkaliaxxx]

Shit, I am sorry to hear about your friend and of course about what has happened to you. When you say that you took action what exactly did you do? I am curious, you don't have to answer of course.

It's a shame the way sexual violence can follow a person. I know that I've had a number of instances as well.

[audiguy]

Nobody has any respect for anyone anymore. Its not just guys not having respect for woman, but just people not respecting each other anymore. There is a complete lack of self accountability for ones actions. I get the line "just loosen her up with some alcohol" as much from girls as I do guys.

Whatever happened to where a girl could go to a party with a couple friends, and have one of them watch her back. Its like its just too much work to watch out for someone. To have one person that doesn't get smashed.

You should try giving a survey to a bunch of frat boys. But wait till their drunk. Then you'll really see what goes through their fucked up minds. I hate stereo typing, but its pretty hard not to when it comes to frat boys. Its just that they tend to be the poster boys of the drunken college life that so many students lead.

[aryx]

Those statistics aren't just for college, they apply to the "real world" as well. This happens in the workplace, night clubs, and yes, even church.
These sounds like the same numbers from 1989 when I took a Rape Crisis Counseling course in college. I would guess that some of these numbers are higher now, now that more women are realizing they are not the only victims and reporting the crimes.
Go ahead and get up there and speak. You've been talking about it here for a long time, and I've seen that it's gotten easier for you to discuss. The fact that there may be people you know listening is a good thing. One of them may also be a victim, but has been too scared to talk about it. If they realize that there is someone else that they know who has suffered, then they might be able to muster up the strength to finally talk about it too.

[xxxkaliaxxx]

Thank you for your comments. You are right, I will go up there and speak and I do hope that it reaches out to someone in the crowd. I'm not just going to tell my story though, I've done that before and there will be others doing that, I need to try and say something that stands out. Something fierce. Something that will want to make people fight back.

[xxxmariposaxxx]

This is the exact reason why I don't exactly gravitate to those who like to indulge in the substances...they think that being drunk or high absolves them of responsibility, and it absolutely does not. Seriously. For me, I believe one should either drink responsibly, or not at all. I know how to keep myself within safe limits. It's not impossible, but then again, our whole society is constructed so that people don't have to take responsibility for themselves.

For real...this shit is sexist. How many women could get away with castration if we just claimed to be too drunk? None that I know of.

grrr

I agree...healing is awesome, and I'm glad we have TBTN, but we all need to be doing more. You know how I feel. If I find out that someone I know is an abuser or rapist, I have nothing more to say to them.