(no subject)
Author: Rachel
Title: Glowing in the Dark (9/20)
Rating: PG-13 (this chapter)
Word Count: 5008~
Warnings: none?
Summary: Sight is a funny thing. It's taken for granted so much of the time, and people never realize how much they rely on it until it's gone. At least, Blaine knew that was true for him.
Author's Note: Title taken from the song Charlie Brown by Coldplay. And many, many thanks to Cass for being an amazing cheerleader for me.
[Previous]
It was incredible, how waking up every morning with the knowledge that Kurt was his boyfriend made every day start with a smile on Blaine’s face. Part of him still had trouble believing it, but that was what made it so great. Someone wanted him, Kurt wanted him, even though he was sure he’d been plenty awkward and weird enough to make him run for the hills. Kurt was his boyfriend. He was Kurt’s boyfriend. He felt like he was acting like a teenager about the whole thing, but he tried to remind himself that he was a teenager, so it was slightly justified. There wasn’t anything wrong with being intensely happy about something, after all.
There were still moments of panic. Moments of oh God what if this isn’t what I think it is? Thankfully Kurt was a constant reassurance against the doubt.
Falling into habits was so easy with Kurt. It had happened even before they started dating - the morning coffees, the phone calls before bed. Those still held true, but there were more. Blaine didn’t know if it was normal for people when entered into a relationship together, but he didn’t care. Maybe it was because it felt like he’d known Kurt, been around Kurt, been dating Kurt, for ages as opposed to days. Everything came with ease, felt natural and right as anything.
Kurt usually came over either for dinner or after, depending on if Santana had claimed part of Blaine’s evening. He seemed more than happy to avoid her, which Blaine couldn’t exactly blame him for. One of the things Blaine liked most was how they didn’t even have to do anything specific together. Kurt would come over, bring his schoolwork with him, and they would sit in Blaine’s room and work quietly on their own things. It was just something to know that the other was there, and that was enough until they got tired or homework or one ran out of something to do, and then it would usually dissolve into light conversation. When it didn’t turn into kissing or cuddling, that was.
Their first weekend together came without any occasion, but after the party the weekend before, Blaine had been glad for the quiet. There was a recital on Saturday night that Kurt went to, and he’d invited Blaine but he’d declined. He felt a bit anxious when he thought about going to the fine arts building, considering how his last venture had gone. It was his fault, he knew, but he didn’t want to run the risk of bumping into Dr. Salido or someone else who had been subject to his fight or flight (and it was flight - always flight) moments. In the end, it was good that he hadn’t gone.
“Oh good, your boy toy isn’t here,” Santana said as she walked into his room without the pretense of knocking. Blaine was sitting at his desk, pouring over a book for class, but he lifted his head as he heard her flop down onto his bed.
“He’s not my… boy toy,” he said, shaking his head. Santana had been in such a mood all week that he hadn’t even bothered trying to talk to her about Kurt. He doubted she would have cared even if she’d been in a good mood.
“Whatever you say, Blanderson.”
“Can I, um, help you with something?” he asked, grabbing a bookmark and pressing it in between the pages before closing his book. He assumed there was a reason for her being there, because usually she didn’t just barge into his room and make herself at home. They spent a good amount of time together in the more common rooms of the house, but not generally in the bedrooms.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
“That,” Blaine said slowly, “is the most loaded question I have ever been asked.”
“Shut up.”
“Wrong with you in what way?” he asked, getting up and moving over to sit on the bed. She didn’t move away from him, but he could feel her stretching out more.
“I’m ridiculously hot. I know you can’t see, but take my word for it.” He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off. “I know you wouldn’t appreciate it either but whatever, I’m pretty sure you’d think I’m a fox.”
“Okay…” Blaine wasn’t exactly sure where she was going with it all, but he assumed it was all leading somewhere. It didn’t seem like her to set up shop in his room with the express purpose of talking about how great she was.
“So why would she do that?” It took Blaine a moment, mostly because he couldn’t believe that she was actually talking to him about it finally, to realize she meant Brittany.
“I don’t know, San,” he said, chewing at the inside of his lip. “Maybe it had to do with something other than how you look?”
“Like what?” she asked challengingly, and he sighed.
“I don’t know, I’m not an expert at this sort of thing,” Blaine said, rubbing his face. “But I mean, I’m pretty sure she likes you.” Santana snorted derisively. “That one time I played for her and my phone went off, that alarm you did, she just about stole it from me because she heard you talking.”
“Well she has a funny way of showing it.”
“What about the rest of the party though?” he asked, hoping to grasp at some kind of straw she could hold onto. “Before she left, I mean. She was here for you, right?”
“I thought so,” she mumbled, and he felt the bed shift as she moved around. “You were probably too busy grinding all up on your pretty pony to notice-“
“Santana.”
“What?”
“Kurt. His name is Kurt. He’s not a pretty pony, a boy toy, any of those other things you have called him, he is Kurt.”
“It’s cute how you think that would do anything. I already knew his name; I just prefer to be creative.”
“Get out of my room, then.”
“Calm down, for fuck’s sake. A girl can’t have any fun these days.” She nudged him with her leg, but he shook his head.
“For the record,” he said, his voice a practiced calm. “I probably didn’t notice anything because I can’t see so the subtleties tend to be lost on me.”
“Whatever, the point is she was all over everyone,” Santana said, sighing. “Starting with you, which I don’t even understand because you clearly wouldn’t be interested. It was annoying.”
“Have you tried talking to her?” Blaine offered, tilting his head in her direction.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m sorry, I’m the one being ridiculous when you haven’t talked to her?”
“I don’t go chasing after people, Blaine.”
“No, you just mope around the house for a week because of them when you don’t get what you want.” Santana didn’t say anything in response to that, and he thought for a brief second that he’d crossed a line. It wasn’t so much that he was worried about offending her, but more so that he didn’t want to push her away when she’d actually come to him to talk. “I think you should try talking to her. Just call her or something.”
“So if Kurt is going to be hanging around here as much as he has been, I’m going to start charging him rent,” Santana cut in, and Blaine was well aware that meant that the topic of Brittany was done. “Doesn’t he have his own place to sit and do homework? Or are you two super study buddies, which would almost be cute if it wasn’t sickening.”
“No, we… just like being around each other,” Blaine said, flushing slightly.
“Well isn’t that just so freaking charming,” Santana drawled. “It still feels like he’s super creepy stalking his way into your life, if you ask me.”
“He’s not super creepy stalking me,” Blaine said, absently rubbing his hands over the tops of his legs. Whether it would make things better or worse to tell her, he wasn’t sure. It did strike him that it was the first time he was going to say the words out loud to someone that wasn’t himself. “He’s… he’s my boyfriend.”
“He’s what?” Santana sat up so fast that he thought she was going to knock him off the bed, and he ducked away from her.
“I didn’t tell you because you were sad and stuff and I didn’t think it was appropriate but yes, he is, so stop being so mean and rude about him.”
“Whatever.” Santana swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up. “Just alert me if you two are going to have loud, obnoxious sex so I can make sure to not be here for that.” She got to the doorway before he heard her stop. “And Blaine?”
“Yeah?” he asked, well aware of the fact that he was probably turning a nice shade of pink.
“If he fucks up at all, you’d better tell me. That boy and I have an understanding.” He didn’t get a chance to ask her what that meant before she was gone out into the living room, but a few seconds later he heard her again. “Oh, speak of the devil…”
“Were you talking about yourself?” Kurt’s voice sounded clipped, forced politeness with every word but the undercurrent of annoyance. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the spawn of Satan would be a narcissist.”
“Don’t worry about knocking, just go ahead and let yourself into our house, that’s fine,” Santana growled, but Kurt seemed to ignore her as he went into Blaine’s room, shutting the door behind him.
“Hi?” Blaine said, listening as Kurt dropped his bag to the floor and made his way over.
“Hi.” Kurt sounded much more at ease now that he wasn’t talking to Santana, and he gently pushed Blaine back onto the bed and kissed him. There it was again, that quick rush of adrenaline that found its way all through him every time Kurt did something like that. Blaine’s arms slipped up around his neck and he pulled him down, nipping lightly at his lower lip almost experimentally. It was still new, all the kissing stuff, but he was more than happy to practice. Kurt seemed perfectly fine with accommodating him.
“Mmm. So how was your evening?” Kurt asked as he pulled back, scooting up to lie beside him. “Anything eventful?”
“No, just a lot of reading.” Blaine shrugged, turning a little to tilt his head up at him. “How was the recital?”
“It was good! It was a girl from my studio, so I’ve heard some of it before, but she did an amazing job. Plus there were cookies and punch after, so that’s always a bonus.”
“Cookies and punch? I would’ve gone if I’d known that,” Blaine teased.
“If I’d known what kind you liked, I would have brought you one.”
“Kurt, they’re cookies,” Blaine said, shaking his head. “There are no bad kinds of cookies.”
“Fair enough,” Kurt said with a light laugh. “Next time I’ll just sneak one of every kind and we’ll go from there. Or you could go with me.”
“Maybe, we’ll see,” he said, rubbing his face. “It depends.”
“Depends on what?” Kurt asked, propping himself up on his elbow so he could look down at him.
“I don’t know, it just depends.” Blaine shrugged, dropping his hand down to his stomach. Kurt didn’t say anything, just cupped the side of his face and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against his lips.
“You look stressed,” he murmured, thumb stroking against his cheek.
“It’s nothing, just stuff.” He could feel Kurt’s breath playing against his skin and he wanted to pull him in the short distance to kiss him again, but he didn’t think he’d be able to get away with that for long.
“Was Santana conjuring up demons all afternoon or something?”
“No.” Blaine bit his lip, fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt. Kurt’s hand moved down from his jaw to rest over his hands, stilling them. “She’s not normally like that, Kurt. I’m sorry she’s being mean. It takes awhile for her to warm up to people and she’s been having a rough week, and I don’t think I made it any better right before you got here.”
“You don’t have to apologize for her,” Kurt said, his tone resolute. “I’m not here because I want to be friends with Santana, I’m here for you. She likes you, as I’m well aware, and you like her. She doesn’t like me, and I couldn’t care less. Princess is hardly the worst thing I’ve ever been called.”
“I told her to stop calling you names,” Blaine murmured, wincing slightly at Kurt’s last statement. “So hopefully she actually listens. Sometimes she does.”
“I don’t care,” Kurt said, squeezing his hand.
“I care. Just because she’s mad about stuff in her own life, that doesn’t mean she should get to take it out on you.”
“You’re sweet.” Kurt kissed his cheek, and Blaine turned his hand over to lace their fingers together. “So what were you reading that kept you busy all night?”
“The Canterbury Tales,” Blaine said, wrinkling his nose.
“Not a fan, then?”
“It’s alright, just not as fun to read as some other stuff. It’s hard to keep focused when it’s like that.”
“I have that problem with reading, too.” Blaine started to open his mouth to elaborate, but was cut off by his phone.
Call from… Dreamboat McAnderson.
“Oh… my God. I take back anything I ever said about Santana actually being a nice person.” Blaine covered his face with his hand before pulling away, scrambling to get his phone off his desk. “Hello?”
“Hey Squirt! I just got the most interesting phone call…”
“Can I call you back later?”
“You’d better! We have lots to talk abo--” Blaine didn’t even bother saying goodbye before hanging up, holding his phone out to Kurt as he sat back down on the bed.
“Could you please, for the love of everything that’s right in the world, change that to say Cooper?”
“Dreamboat McAnderson?” Kurt asked, clearly trying not to laugh.
“Santana is an awful human being,” Blaine groaned. “She thinks my brother is the most attractive man on the planet. Apparently he can charm the pants off anyone, even lesbians.”
“Ah, I see. I find it difficult to believe he could be more attractive than you. That’s just ridiculous, and I’m pretty sure entirely impossible.”
“It’s very possible,” Blaine said, blushing and setting his phone down once Kurt handed it back to him. “I thought we were going to lose him as far as help went when they moved me in here, because he and Santana were flirting the entire time. My parents were so confused.” He shook his head. “And apparently I can’t leave my phone unguarded around.”
“That is rather unfortunate.”
“What if I’d wanted to call him? Not to mention that it is really, really awkward for your brother to be in your phone as Dreamboat, I just…” he trailed off, flopping back onto the bed. “So embarrassing.”
“So your parents…” Kurt started, and Blaine turned his head toward him.
“Hm?”
“They’re clearly okay with, um, you being gay. I mean, you can never know and I know not everyone has parents that are, but if they were aware of Santana I would assume that they’re at least…”
“Oh, um, well yeah,” Blaine said, his brow furrowing. “It wasn’t… always great. My dad wasn’t the most accepting at first but he got better, and then after…” He dug his fingernails into his palm as he stopped himself. He’d just written about it earlier that day, for his class. Write about a relationship or love that is not romantic in nature; that had been the assignment. His parents had seemed like the obvious choice.
Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally, right? That’s what I was told, what I believed when I was growing up. It wasn’t something that should have been used as an excuse or anything, like a free pass for me to do whatever I wanted and then bat my eyelashes up at them because I was their child and that meant no matter what, they were going to love me. It was supposed to be a reassurance, I think. I’m sure my parents never thought I would do anything to pull that into question. They raised me right, after all. I never got detention in school. I always did my homework, did well in classes. I made friends who could never be considered bad influences. I was a good kid.
I’ll never forget the look on my dad’s face when I came out to my parents. It was the first time I’d ever seen anything but love, endearment from him. It was the first time I’d ever seen him look disappointed in me.
“He got better.”
“That’s good,” Kurt said quietly, and Blaine was once again glad that Kurt seemed to know when asking questions would be a bad idea.
“What about your parents?”
“I just have my dad,” Kurt started out. “My mom died when I was little, so it’s just been me and him since then. He’s a real man’s man, you know? I mean, he works on cars for a living and all. There were times that I thought there was no way he’d ever… but… my dad is the most amazing person I know. He loves me for who I am, support me no matter what, and the only thing he really asks in return is for me to be the best possible person I can be.”
“He sounds pretty incredible,” Blaine said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He had no problems with his dad, especially after everything they’d been through in the two years prior. It had been rough going at first, and Kurt’s mention of his dad’s profession had only really succeeded in making Blaine remember when his dad had gotten him to help restore a car. What had been assumed as father-son bonding time, when it was really an attempt to get him to butch up and maybe not like boys as much anymore, hadn’t gone that well. They never did finish the car, considering the circumstances. That was in the past, though, and Blaine knew that so many more important things had happened since then. The move, the support, the everything.
“He is,” Kurt murmured, reaching over and slipping his hand into Blaine’s. “I know you can’t... see me to tell, but I can pretty confidently say that I am the easiest scapegoat you would ever be able to find in a school. I mean, I got picked on left and right, sometimes it was just words and other times… I mean, I know I already told you about part of what happened. My dad, if it hadn’t been for him, who knows how bad it would have gotten. I kept a lot from him at first, but once he found out he kind of went on the warpath. I’d never seen him angry about anything like that before, and things really did start to change after he went to the principal and school board and gave them a piece of his mind. He’s the best person I could ever imagine having on my side.”
“My dad kind of did that sort of thing,” Blaine said slowly, his fingers tightening against Kurt’s. “It was right before we moved; he went and raised hell all over the place at my school.” His throat tightened and he talked himself out of elaborating. There was a time and a place, he was sure, but he couldn’t bring himself to mention it then. “It was the first time I ever really remember him standing up for me like that. It was definitely the first time I felt like he didn’t have anything against me for who I was. He’s gotten a lot better, like I said, and that was kind of the turning point, I think.”
Kurt deftly changed the subject back to the recital he’d attended, and Blaine was glad to get a pass from the topic of family. Plus he definitely wasn’t going to complain when Kurt sang little snippets of different songs from the recital as he recounted them, his voice quiet but just as sweet and pure as Blaine remembered. It was a reminder of just how talented he was as he effortlessly switched between languages, Italian and French rolling off his tongue. He hadn’t heard him sing since that first time, and what was happening as they laid there on Blaine’s bed didn’t really count.
It was scary, sometimes, how easy it felt. How he knew that if someone had told him two weeks prior that he would be able to lie in bed next to someone like Kurt and not feel uncomfortable, not be blushing at the mere thought of it, he never would have believed them. How the light kisses that passed between them no longer felt huge and monumental, but normal and without the need of reason or explanation. How being wrapped up in Kurt’s arms was still one of the most amazing things Blaine had ever felt, but it wasn’t an event, it was just how things were. How when Kurt said he should probably leave for the night, Blaine’s first thought was, please stay.
He didn’t say it out loud, though. The words too much too fast kept repeating in his head as a warning, though he wasn’t sure if there was such a thing as too much with Kurt, not when everything felt right and perfect. There was something to be said about not seeming overly eager, desperate, needy, clingy, anything like that. So Blaine didn’t say it, but he did walk with Kurt out onto the front porch, away from the potential harassment of Santana should they have kissed goodnight in the living room. Considering how it went, she definitely would have been saying something.
It started off sweet, gentle, just like always, but not for long. The first swipe of Kurt’s tongue against his lips sent a rush through Blaine, and his hand moved up to the back of Kurt’s neck to steady himself. His lips parted just barely, mostly in surprise, but that was more than enough of an invitation. Kurt sucked on his lower lip, tongue soothing over it, before licking his way into his mouth. Blaine felt like his knees were going to give out completely, the slick slide of Kurt’s tongue against his own overwhelming him, and he couldn’t stop the soft sound in the back of his throat from escaping. The only thought that managed to run through his head, other than the KurtKurtKurt of it all, was that maybe he should reconsider that whole asking him to stay thing. But no, that would be impulsive and presumptuous, even though he hadn’t meant it in that way he just hadn’t wanted him to leave, and just because Kurt’s tongue was stroking so perfectly against every inch of his mouth, that did not mean he should throw all caution to the wind.
By the time Kurt pulled back, dropping light kisses against his lips before resting their foreheads together, Blaine felt dizzy. It was almost the same feeling as when he’d been drunk and dancing with him, pressed up together and actually touching for the first time. There was just so much about Kurt that was intoxicating, he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get used to it all. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to. His hand slowly slid all the way down Kurt’s arm to his hand, tangling their fingers together and tugging their intertwined hands up between them so he could brush a kiss against Kurt’s knuckles. “Good night.”
“Good night, Blaine.”
Blaine almost felt dazed as he walked back through the house to get to his room, shutting the door behind him and crawling onto his bed. He wondered how it was even possible, for someone to be able to make him feel like that. Was it like that for other people, he wondered, for something so seemingly simple as kissing to make them feel like the entire world was spinning around them? It was a slight afterthought of horror that made him wonder if he made Kurt feel the same way. What if he didn’t? What if he was getting all of it and giving nothing in return? Rationality took over, at least for then, and he convinced himself that if that were true then Kurt probably wouldn’t kiss him as much.
It wasn’t until he moved to roll over and his foot hit his phone that he remembered about Cooper. If he didn’t call him back, he would probably be getting calls at all hours of the morning asking why. Or worse, he’d call Santana. Blaine shifted around to reach his phone, calling his brother, and tried to remember how sentences were formed while the phone rang.
“Hey little brother!”
“Hey Coop,” Blaine said, rubbing his face a little. “How are you?”
“I’m fantastic, but apparently not as fantastic as you are, I’m told.”
“What exactly did Santana tell you?”
“That you have a special guy in your life, of course!” Cooper sounded so happy about it, which was shocking. Not because Blaine expected Cooper to unhappy about it or anything, but because of the fact that he’d found out through Santana could have meant anything in terms of what he’d been told. “So now I need to know everything. Name? Age? Social security number? I need to do some reconnaissance.”
“What? No you don’t. Where are you?”
“California.” Blaine breathed out a sigh of relief. Cooper went back and forth so often, it made him hard to keep track of. The fact that he wasn’t in Ohio was a blessing, because the last thing Blaine needed was to have him show up randomly and start grilling Kurt. Or make Kurt realize that he’d been entirely wrong, and yes there was a much better looking Anderson out there. “Don’t think that’s going to stop me!”
“Cooper, please. I like him. I don’t need you scaring him off.”
“I wouldn’t scare him off,” Cooper admonished, and Blaine could almost see the mock offense on his face. “I just need to make sure that he’s good enough for my little brother.”
“His name is Kurt,” Blaine said simply. “He’s a year older than me. That’s all you need to know.”
“What about why I found this out through the incomparable Miss Lopez and not you?”
“Maybe because Santana doesn’t know how to mind her own business?” Blaine offered.
“I’m hurt, Blaine.”
“It’s not like I was… keeping it from you. I just didn’t tell you yet. I didn’t even tell Santana until today, and I’m sure she called you immediately.” It had seemed so nice, at first, that Cooper and Santana had gotten along. It wasn’t until they started conspiring that Blaine realized how it was truly not good for him. “Maybe I just needed a little time to let it sink in.”
“Sure, I see how it is.”
“Coop?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t, um… don’t tell Mom and Dad?”
“Squirt...” Cooper’s tone softened instantly, no more joking or teasing there. Blaine hated when he called him that, or at least he really used to. When they were in public or around anyone else, it still bothered him, but when it was just them it was much more a term of endearment than something he saw as a way to make him seem small. Maybe it had been like that before, but Cooper never made him feel like that anymore.
“Please?”
“I wasn’t going to tell them. You should, though. They’ll be happy for you.”
“Are you sure about that?” Blaine chewed on his lip as soon as the question was out. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in his parents, he just didn’t know what to expect. It was a new situation and what would they say? What would they think? Just because they said they accepted him for who he was, they’d never really had to deal with anything that came along with it. He felt horrible for having doubt when they’d done so much for him, but it was that little voice nagging in the back of his head.
“Blaine. It’s going to be alright. They’ll be happy for you, just like I am. I couldn’t be happier for you, I really couldn’t. I can’t wait to hear more about Kurt, whenever you’re ready to tell me. Next time I’m in Ohio, you’ll have to introduce us.”
“When’s that going to be?”
“I’m not completely sure, but definitely for Thanksgiving if not before.” There was a pause, and Blaine could hear someone talking in the background. “Hey, I’ve got to run. Call me tomorrow if you want, alright? I want to hear about your classes and stuff. Talk later, buddy!”
“Bye.” Blaine hung up and reached over to plug in his phone for the night. Cooper was right, he should tell his parents. It was kind of a big moment in his life, after all. He felt a bit silly about it though, like maybe he was overreacting. Maybe they wouldn’t understand. It had been such a short time, but he knew he liked Kurt a lot. Maybe that was why he wanted to put it off, because what if they wanted to meet him? That was even a bigger deal, and maybe even worse than Cooper barging in. No, he would wait, and then the right moment would present itself when it was time, he decided. Besides, he couldn’t be expected to think that hard about how and when to tell his parents when he was still slightly reeling from his kiss goodnight.
[ Next]
Title: Glowing in the Dark (9/20)
Rating: PG-13 (this chapter)
Word Count: 5008~
Warnings: none?
Summary: Sight is a funny thing. It's taken for granted so much of the time, and people never realize how much they rely on it until it's gone. At least, Blaine knew that was true for him.
Author's Note: Title taken from the song Charlie Brown by Coldplay. And many, many thanks to Cass for being an amazing cheerleader for me.
[Previous]
It was incredible, how waking up every morning with the knowledge that Kurt was his boyfriend made every day start with a smile on Blaine’s face. Part of him still had trouble believing it, but that was what made it so great. Someone wanted him, Kurt wanted him, even though he was sure he’d been plenty awkward and weird enough to make him run for the hills. Kurt was his boyfriend. He was Kurt’s boyfriend. He felt like he was acting like a teenager about the whole thing, but he tried to remind himself that he was a teenager, so it was slightly justified. There wasn’t anything wrong with being intensely happy about something, after all.
There were still moments of panic. Moments of oh God what if this isn’t what I think it is? Thankfully Kurt was a constant reassurance against the doubt.
Falling into habits was so easy with Kurt. It had happened even before they started dating - the morning coffees, the phone calls before bed. Those still held true, but there were more. Blaine didn’t know if it was normal for people when entered into a relationship together, but he didn’t care. Maybe it was because it felt like he’d known Kurt, been around Kurt, been dating Kurt, for ages as opposed to days. Everything came with ease, felt natural and right as anything.
Kurt usually came over either for dinner or after, depending on if Santana had claimed part of Blaine’s evening. He seemed more than happy to avoid her, which Blaine couldn’t exactly blame him for. One of the things Blaine liked most was how they didn’t even have to do anything specific together. Kurt would come over, bring his schoolwork with him, and they would sit in Blaine’s room and work quietly on their own things. It was just something to know that the other was there, and that was enough until they got tired or homework or one ran out of something to do, and then it would usually dissolve into light conversation. When it didn’t turn into kissing or cuddling, that was.
Their first weekend together came without any occasion, but after the party the weekend before, Blaine had been glad for the quiet. There was a recital on Saturday night that Kurt went to, and he’d invited Blaine but he’d declined. He felt a bit anxious when he thought about going to the fine arts building, considering how his last venture had gone. It was his fault, he knew, but he didn’t want to run the risk of bumping into Dr. Salido or someone else who had been subject to his fight or flight (and it was flight - always flight) moments. In the end, it was good that he hadn’t gone.
“Oh good, your boy toy isn’t here,” Santana said as she walked into his room without the pretense of knocking. Blaine was sitting at his desk, pouring over a book for class, but he lifted his head as he heard her flop down onto his bed.
“He’s not my… boy toy,” he said, shaking his head. Santana had been in such a mood all week that he hadn’t even bothered trying to talk to her about Kurt. He doubted she would have cared even if she’d been in a good mood.
“Whatever you say, Blanderson.”
“Can I, um, help you with something?” he asked, grabbing a bookmark and pressing it in between the pages before closing his book. He assumed there was a reason for her being there, because usually she didn’t just barge into his room and make herself at home. They spent a good amount of time together in the more common rooms of the house, but not generally in the bedrooms.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
“That,” Blaine said slowly, “is the most loaded question I have ever been asked.”
“Shut up.”
“Wrong with you in what way?” he asked, getting up and moving over to sit on the bed. She didn’t move away from him, but he could feel her stretching out more.
“I’m ridiculously hot. I know you can’t see, but take my word for it.” He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off. “I know you wouldn’t appreciate it either but whatever, I’m pretty sure you’d think I’m a fox.”
“Okay…” Blaine wasn’t exactly sure where she was going with it all, but he assumed it was all leading somewhere. It didn’t seem like her to set up shop in his room with the express purpose of talking about how great she was.
“So why would she do that?” It took Blaine a moment, mostly because he couldn’t believe that she was actually talking to him about it finally, to realize she meant Brittany.
“I don’t know, San,” he said, chewing at the inside of his lip. “Maybe it had to do with something other than how you look?”
“Like what?” she asked challengingly, and he sighed.
“I don’t know, I’m not an expert at this sort of thing,” Blaine said, rubbing his face. “But I mean, I’m pretty sure she likes you.” Santana snorted derisively. “That one time I played for her and my phone went off, that alarm you did, she just about stole it from me because she heard you talking.”
“Well she has a funny way of showing it.”
“What about the rest of the party though?” he asked, hoping to grasp at some kind of straw she could hold onto. “Before she left, I mean. She was here for you, right?”
“I thought so,” she mumbled, and he felt the bed shift as she moved around. “You were probably too busy grinding all up on your pretty pony to notice-“
“Santana.”
“What?”
“Kurt. His name is Kurt. He’s not a pretty pony, a boy toy, any of those other things you have called him, he is Kurt.”
“It’s cute how you think that would do anything. I already knew his name; I just prefer to be creative.”
“Get out of my room, then.”
“Calm down, for fuck’s sake. A girl can’t have any fun these days.” She nudged him with her leg, but he shook his head.
“For the record,” he said, his voice a practiced calm. “I probably didn’t notice anything because I can’t see so the subtleties tend to be lost on me.”
“Whatever, the point is she was all over everyone,” Santana said, sighing. “Starting with you, which I don’t even understand because you clearly wouldn’t be interested. It was annoying.”
“Have you tried talking to her?” Blaine offered, tilting his head in her direction.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m sorry, I’m the one being ridiculous when you haven’t talked to her?”
“I don’t go chasing after people, Blaine.”
“No, you just mope around the house for a week because of them when you don’t get what you want.” Santana didn’t say anything in response to that, and he thought for a brief second that he’d crossed a line. It wasn’t so much that he was worried about offending her, but more so that he didn’t want to push her away when she’d actually come to him to talk. “I think you should try talking to her. Just call her or something.”
“So if Kurt is going to be hanging around here as much as he has been, I’m going to start charging him rent,” Santana cut in, and Blaine was well aware that meant that the topic of Brittany was done. “Doesn’t he have his own place to sit and do homework? Or are you two super study buddies, which would almost be cute if it wasn’t sickening.”
“No, we… just like being around each other,” Blaine said, flushing slightly.
“Well isn’t that just so freaking charming,” Santana drawled. “It still feels like he’s super creepy stalking his way into your life, if you ask me.”
“He’s not super creepy stalking me,” Blaine said, absently rubbing his hands over the tops of his legs. Whether it would make things better or worse to tell her, he wasn’t sure. It did strike him that it was the first time he was going to say the words out loud to someone that wasn’t himself. “He’s… he’s my boyfriend.”
“He’s what?” Santana sat up so fast that he thought she was going to knock him off the bed, and he ducked away from her.
“I didn’t tell you because you were sad and stuff and I didn’t think it was appropriate but yes, he is, so stop being so mean and rude about him.”
“Whatever.” Santana swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up. “Just alert me if you two are going to have loud, obnoxious sex so I can make sure to not be here for that.” She got to the doorway before he heard her stop. “And Blaine?”
“Yeah?” he asked, well aware of the fact that he was probably turning a nice shade of pink.
“If he fucks up at all, you’d better tell me. That boy and I have an understanding.” He didn’t get a chance to ask her what that meant before she was gone out into the living room, but a few seconds later he heard her again. “Oh, speak of the devil…”
“Were you talking about yourself?” Kurt’s voice sounded clipped, forced politeness with every word but the undercurrent of annoyance. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the spawn of Satan would be a narcissist.”
“Don’t worry about knocking, just go ahead and let yourself into our house, that’s fine,” Santana growled, but Kurt seemed to ignore her as he went into Blaine’s room, shutting the door behind him.
“Hi?” Blaine said, listening as Kurt dropped his bag to the floor and made his way over.
“Hi.” Kurt sounded much more at ease now that he wasn’t talking to Santana, and he gently pushed Blaine back onto the bed and kissed him. There it was again, that quick rush of adrenaline that found its way all through him every time Kurt did something like that. Blaine’s arms slipped up around his neck and he pulled him down, nipping lightly at his lower lip almost experimentally. It was still new, all the kissing stuff, but he was more than happy to practice. Kurt seemed perfectly fine with accommodating him.
“Mmm. So how was your evening?” Kurt asked as he pulled back, scooting up to lie beside him. “Anything eventful?”
“No, just a lot of reading.” Blaine shrugged, turning a little to tilt his head up at him. “How was the recital?”
“It was good! It was a girl from my studio, so I’ve heard some of it before, but she did an amazing job. Plus there were cookies and punch after, so that’s always a bonus.”
“Cookies and punch? I would’ve gone if I’d known that,” Blaine teased.
“If I’d known what kind you liked, I would have brought you one.”
“Kurt, they’re cookies,” Blaine said, shaking his head. “There are no bad kinds of cookies.”
“Fair enough,” Kurt said with a light laugh. “Next time I’ll just sneak one of every kind and we’ll go from there. Or you could go with me.”
“Maybe, we’ll see,” he said, rubbing his face. “It depends.”
“Depends on what?” Kurt asked, propping himself up on his elbow so he could look down at him.
“I don’t know, it just depends.” Blaine shrugged, dropping his hand down to his stomach. Kurt didn’t say anything, just cupped the side of his face and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against his lips.
“You look stressed,” he murmured, thumb stroking against his cheek.
“It’s nothing, just stuff.” He could feel Kurt’s breath playing against his skin and he wanted to pull him in the short distance to kiss him again, but he didn’t think he’d be able to get away with that for long.
“Was Santana conjuring up demons all afternoon or something?”
“No.” Blaine bit his lip, fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt. Kurt’s hand moved down from his jaw to rest over his hands, stilling them. “She’s not normally like that, Kurt. I’m sorry she’s being mean. It takes awhile for her to warm up to people and she’s been having a rough week, and I don’t think I made it any better right before you got here.”
“You don’t have to apologize for her,” Kurt said, his tone resolute. “I’m not here because I want to be friends with Santana, I’m here for you. She likes you, as I’m well aware, and you like her. She doesn’t like me, and I couldn’t care less. Princess is hardly the worst thing I’ve ever been called.”
“I told her to stop calling you names,” Blaine murmured, wincing slightly at Kurt’s last statement. “So hopefully she actually listens. Sometimes she does.”
“I don’t care,” Kurt said, squeezing his hand.
“I care. Just because she’s mad about stuff in her own life, that doesn’t mean she should get to take it out on you.”
“You’re sweet.” Kurt kissed his cheek, and Blaine turned his hand over to lace their fingers together. “So what were you reading that kept you busy all night?”
“The Canterbury Tales,” Blaine said, wrinkling his nose.
“Not a fan, then?”
“It’s alright, just not as fun to read as some other stuff. It’s hard to keep focused when it’s like that.”
“I have that problem with reading, too.” Blaine started to open his mouth to elaborate, but was cut off by his phone.
Call from… Dreamboat McAnderson.
“Oh… my God. I take back anything I ever said about Santana actually being a nice person.” Blaine covered his face with his hand before pulling away, scrambling to get his phone off his desk. “Hello?”
“Hey Squirt! I just got the most interesting phone call…”
“Can I call you back later?”
“You’d better! We have lots to talk abo--” Blaine didn’t even bother saying goodbye before hanging up, holding his phone out to Kurt as he sat back down on the bed.
“Could you please, for the love of everything that’s right in the world, change that to say Cooper?”
“Dreamboat McAnderson?” Kurt asked, clearly trying not to laugh.
“Santana is an awful human being,” Blaine groaned. “She thinks my brother is the most attractive man on the planet. Apparently he can charm the pants off anyone, even lesbians.”
“Ah, I see. I find it difficult to believe he could be more attractive than you. That’s just ridiculous, and I’m pretty sure entirely impossible.”
“It’s very possible,” Blaine said, blushing and setting his phone down once Kurt handed it back to him. “I thought we were going to lose him as far as help went when they moved me in here, because he and Santana were flirting the entire time. My parents were so confused.” He shook his head. “And apparently I can’t leave my phone unguarded around.”
“That is rather unfortunate.”
“What if I’d wanted to call him? Not to mention that it is really, really awkward for your brother to be in your phone as Dreamboat, I just…” he trailed off, flopping back onto the bed. “So embarrassing.”
“So your parents…” Kurt started, and Blaine turned his head toward him.
“Hm?”
“They’re clearly okay with, um, you being gay. I mean, you can never know and I know not everyone has parents that are, but if they were aware of Santana I would assume that they’re at least…”
“Oh, um, well yeah,” Blaine said, his brow furrowing. “It wasn’t… always great. My dad wasn’t the most accepting at first but he got better, and then after…” He dug his fingernails into his palm as he stopped himself. He’d just written about it earlier that day, for his class. Write about a relationship or love that is not romantic in nature; that had been the assignment. His parents had seemed like the obvious choice.
Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally, right? That’s what I was told, what I believed when I was growing up. It wasn’t something that should have been used as an excuse or anything, like a free pass for me to do whatever I wanted and then bat my eyelashes up at them because I was their child and that meant no matter what, they were going to love me. It was supposed to be a reassurance, I think. I’m sure my parents never thought I would do anything to pull that into question. They raised me right, after all. I never got detention in school. I always did my homework, did well in classes. I made friends who could never be considered bad influences. I was a good kid.
I’ll never forget the look on my dad’s face when I came out to my parents. It was the first time I’d ever seen anything but love, endearment from him. It was the first time I’d ever seen him look disappointed in me.
“He got better.”
“That’s good,” Kurt said quietly, and Blaine was once again glad that Kurt seemed to know when asking questions would be a bad idea.
“What about your parents?”
“I just have my dad,” Kurt started out. “My mom died when I was little, so it’s just been me and him since then. He’s a real man’s man, you know? I mean, he works on cars for a living and all. There were times that I thought there was no way he’d ever… but… my dad is the most amazing person I know. He loves me for who I am, support me no matter what, and the only thing he really asks in return is for me to be the best possible person I can be.”
“He sounds pretty incredible,” Blaine said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He had no problems with his dad, especially after everything they’d been through in the two years prior. It had been rough going at first, and Kurt’s mention of his dad’s profession had only really succeeded in making Blaine remember when his dad had gotten him to help restore a car. What had been assumed as father-son bonding time, when it was really an attempt to get him to butch up and maybe not like boys as much anymore, hadn’t gone that well. They never did finish the car, considering the circumstances. That was in the past, though, and Blaine knew that so many more important things had happened since then. The move, the support, the everything.
“He is,” Kurt murmured, reaching over and slipping his hand into Blaine’s. “I know you can’t... see me to tell, but I can pretty confidently say that I am the easiest scapegoat you would ever be able to find in a school. I mean, I got picked on left and right, sometimes it was just words and other times… I mean, I know I already told you about part of what happened. My dad, if it hadn’t been for him, who knows how bad it would have gotten. I kept a lot from him at first, but once he found out he kind of went on the warpath. I’d never seen him angry about anything like that before, and things really did start to change after he went to the principal and school board and gave them a piece of his mind. He’s the best person I could ever imagine having on my side.”
“My dad kind of did that sort of thing,” Blaine said slowly, his fingers tightening against Kurt’s. “It was right before we moved; he went and raised hell all over the place at my school.” His throat tightened and he talked himself out of elaborating. There was a time and a place, he was sure, but he couldn’t bring himself to mention it then. “It was the first time I ever really remember him standing up for me like that. It was definitely the first time I felt like he didn’t have anything against me for who I was. He’s gotten a lot better, like I said, and that was kind of the turning point, I think.”
Kurt deftly changed the subject back to the recital he’d attended, and Blaine was glad to get a pass from the topic of family. Plus he definitely wasn’t going to complain when Kurt sang little snippets of different songs from the recital as he recounted them, his voice quiet but just as sweet and pure as Blaine remembered. It was a reminder of just how talented he was as he effortlessly switched between languages, Italian and French rolling off his tongue. He hadn’t heard him sing since that first time, and what was happening as they laid there on Blaine’s bed didn’t really count.
It was scary, sometimes, how easy it felt. How he knew that if someone had told him two weeks prior that he would be able to lie in bed next to someone like Kurt and not feel uncomfortable, not be blushing at the mere thought of it, he never would have believed them. How the light kisses that passed between them no longer felt huge and monumental, but normal and without the need of reason or explanation. How being wrapped up in Kurt’s arms was still one of the most amazing things Blaine had ever felt, but it wasn’t an event, it was just how things were. How when Kurt said he should probably leave for the night, Blaine’s first thought was, please stay.
He didn’t say it out loud, though. The words too much too fast kept repeating in his head as a warning, though he wasn’t sure if there was such a thing as too much with Kurt, not when everything felt right and perfect. There was something to be said about not seeming overly eager, desperate, needy, clingy, anything like that. So Blaine didn’t say it, but he did walk with Kurt out onto the front porch, away from the potential harassment of Santana should they have kissed goodnight in the living room. Considering how it went, she definitely would have been saying something.
It started off sweet, gentle, just like always, but not for long. The first swipe of Kurt’s tongue against his lips sent a rush through Blaine, and his hand moved up to the back of Kurt’s neck to steady himself. His lips parted just barely, mostly in surprise, but that was more than enough of an invitation. Kurt sucked on his lower lip, tongue soothing over it, before licking his way into his mouth. Blaine felt like his knees were going to give out completely, the slick slide of Kurt’s tongue against his own overwhelming him, and he couldn’t stop the soft sound in the back of his throat from escaping. The only thought that managed to run through his head, other than the KurtKurtKurt of it all, was that maybe he should reconsider that whole asking him to stay thing. But no, that would be impulsive and presumptuous, even though he hadn’t meant it in that way he just hadn’t wanted him to leave, and just because Kurt’s tongue was stroking so perfectly against every inch of his mouth, that did not mean he should throw all caution to the wind.
By the time Kurt pulled back, dropping light kisses against his lips before resting their foreheads together, Blaine felt dizzy. It was almost the same feeling as when he’d been drunk and dancing with him, pressed up together and actually touching for the first time. There was just so much about Kurt that was intoxicating, he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get used to it all. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to. His hand slowly slid all the way down Kurt’s arm to his hand, tangling their fingers together and tugging their intertwined hands up between them so he could brush a kiss against Kurt’s knuckles. “Good night.”
“Good night, Blaine.”
Blaine almost felt dazed as he walked back through the house to get to his room, shutting the door behind him and crawling onto his bed. He wondered how it was even possible, for someone to be able to make him feel like that. Was it like that for other people, he wondered, for something so seemingly simple as kissing to make them feel like the entire world was spinning around them? It was a slight afterthought of horror that made him wonder if he made Kurt feel the same way. What if he didn’t? What if he was getting all of it and giving nothing in return? Rationality took over, at least for then, and he convinced himself that if that were true then Kurt probably wouldn’t kiss him as much.
It wasn’t until he moved to roll over and his foot hit his phone that he remembered about Cooper. If he didn’t call him back, he would probably be getting calls at all hours of the morning asking why. Or worse, he’d call Santana. Blaine shifted around to reach his phone, calling his brother, and tried to remember how sentences were formed while the phone rang.
“Hey little brother!”
“Hey Coop,” Blaine said, rubbing his face a little. “How are you?”
“I’m fantastic, but apparently not as fantastic as you are, I’m told.”
“What exactly did Santana tell you?”
“That you have a special guy in your life, of course!” Cooper sounded so happy about it, which was shocking. Not because Blaine expected Cooper to unhappy about it or anything, but because of the fact that he’d found out through Santana could have meant anything in terms of what he’d been told. “So now I need to know everything. Name? Age? Social security number? I need to do some reconnaissance.”
“What? No you don’t. Where are you?”
“California.” Blaine breathed out a sigh of relief. Cooper went back and forth so often, it made him hard to keep track of. The fact that he wasn’t in Ohio was a blessing, because the last thing Blaine needed was to have him show up randomly and start grilling Kurt. Or make Kurt realize that he’d been entirely wrong, and yes there was a much better looking Anderson out there. “Don’t think that’s going to stop me!”
“Cooper, please. I like him. I don’t need you scaring him off.”
“I wouldn’t scare him off,” Cooper admonished, and Blaine could almost see the mock offense on his face. “I just need to make sure that he’s good enough for my little brother.”
“His name is Kurt,” Blaine said simply. “He’s a year older than me. That’s all you need to know.”
“What about why I found this out through the incomparable Miss Lopez and not you?”
“Maybe because Santana doesn’t know how to mind her own business?” Blaine offered.
“I’m hurt, Blaine.”
“It’s not like I was… keeping it from you. I just didn’t tell you yet. I didn’t even tell Santana until today, and I’m sure she called you immediately.” It had seemed so nice, at first, that Cooper and Santana had gotten along. It wasn’t until they started conspiring that Blaine realized how it was truly not good for him. “Maybe I just needed a little time to let it sink in.”
“Sure, I see how it is.”
“Coop?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t, um… don’t tell Mom and Dad?”
“Squirt...” Cooper’s tone softened instantly, no more joking or teasing there. Blaine hated when he called him that, or at least he really used to. When they were in public or around anyone else, it still bothered him, but when it was just them it was much more a term of endearment than something he saw as a way to make him seem small. Maybe it had been like that before, but Cooper never made him feel like that anymore.
“Please?”
“I wasn’t going to tell them. You should, though. They’ll be happy for you.”
“Are you sure about that?” Blaine chewed on his lip as soon as the question was out. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in his parents, he just didn’t know what to expect. It was a new situation and what would they say? What would they think? Just because they said they accepted him for who he was, they’d never really had to deal with anything that came along with it. He felt horrible for having doubt when they’d done so much for him, but it was that little voice nagging in the back of his head.
“Blaine. It’s going to be alright. They’ll be happy for you, just like I am. I couldn’t be happier for you, I really couldn’t. I can’t wait to hear more about Kurt, whenever you’re ready to tell me. Next time I’m in Ohio, you’ll have to introduce us.”
“When’s that going to be?”
“I’m not completely sure, but definitely for Thanksgiving if not before.” There was a pause, and Blaine could hear someone talking in the background. “Hey, I’ve got to run. Call me tomorrow if you want, alright? I want to hear about your classes and stuff. Talk later, buddy!”
“Bye.” Blaine hung up and reached over to plug in his phone for the night. Cooper was right, he should tell his parents. It was kind of a big moment in his life, after all. He felt a bit silly about it though, like maybe he was overreacting. Maybe they wouldn’t understand. It had been such a short time, but he knew he liked Kurt a lot. Maybe that was why he wanted to put it off, because what if they wanted to meet him? That was even a bigger deal, and maybe even worse than Cooper barging in. No, he would wait, and then the right moment would present itself when it was time, he decided. Besides, he couldn’t be expected to think that hard about how and when to tell his parents when he was still slightly reeling from his kiss goodnight.
[ Next]