workshop story
One of my workshop stories from my fiction class dealing with subtext.
I dont really know what I think of it, but I just finished the revision for my portfolio thats due tomorrow!
Thanks everyone for reading.
The café was dark and almost empty. It was one of the many lonely shops that could be found on this shaded street in the middle of the city. This street was usually cleared of people due to its proximity under some of the tallest buildings in the downtown area, which left it hidden in their shadows. A few blocks north or south of this road was littered with people beyond containment. There were residents, workers, tourists, loiterers, and every kind of person under the sun. They ran, walked and tottered from street to street, building to building, taxi, car, bus, train. Some held bags; some held briefcases, and others left their arms completely empty, taking in only the winds that brushed the movement of their limbs. The sun typically stayed in those areas, shining warm rays of light across the shops and streets that fell under it. Those streets were filled with life and out in the open basking in the glow; whereas this café could not.
Only a handful of patrons were inside. A few of them just passing travelers, an old couple that looked as though they were regulars and a few scattered tables of guests, including that of a man and woman, still well into their youth. This couple sat at a small table near the back and away from the window. A few small luggage bags were at their feet and a pair of tickets, two water glasses and a menu was on their table.
“It’s the strangest thing,” said the woman. “That even though we come in here so frequently, I always have to look at the menu for the longest time.”
“Yes, you’d think that you’d know what you liked by now,” said the man. “We’ve only been meeting here twice a week for the past several months now.”
She dragged the menu across the table so that it was under her.
“I do know what I like, the problem is in the choosing of what I like, and I’m not sure what I feel like today.”
“Well, let’s narrow it down then.”
The woman looked down at the menu that was before her, as the man shifted closer to her around the small, raised, circular metal table and read from over the side of her shoulder. She glanced at him briefly, letting out one small smirk to paint over her mouth, and returned her attention to the object in front of her. Her feet dangled, lightly kicking the bag that lay below them.
“Anything catching your eye yet?” asked the man.
“A few things sound interesting.”
She half smiled at the man.
“Like what?”
“This salad looks really good,” said the woman as she pointed to a spot on the menu.
The man leaned a little closer to take a look and placed his hand on the back of the woman’s chair. The woman kept her finger on the page as she took a quick peek at his face.
“Mmm…a salad with salmon and more things that don’t really belong in a salad,” he said. “Bland don’t you think?”
He sat back up to look at her as he made a disgruntled face. He kept his hand on her chair.
The woman gave a short breathy laugh at her companion and smiled down at the menu.
“It’s wonderful and you know that,” she said. “Don’t you remember the little dishes we used to get back home whenever I made you eat at that seafood place? Bonefish? Of course you wouldn’t touch the uncooked things, but I do remember a certain someone who always ate part of my dishes that had shrimp and tuna.”
The woman flicked the man’s shoulder as she talked about the dishes.
“Yea yea, I suppose those were ok but this dish is really just pointless, no one likes salmon. Especially in a salad… let’s just add tofu for even less flavor.”
“My! Someone’s argument is getting a little weak. Could it be that you’re just bitter that I was right about them liking fish and clearly have the better taste?” she said in a light tone while nudging him a bit with her elbow and smiling.
“Well I guess I’m just not that enthused about the mundane.”
“All I’m hearing right now is I win.”
“That’s your prerogative. And I wouldn’t say that you always have the best taste; there are a few things that you have extremely wrong.”
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”
The woman straightened up a bit and her smile disappeared. She looked at the menu with an impression of more concentration that she had previously given it. She lifted her feet from the bag to rest them on the lower bar of her chair and turned in her seat to look about her dim surroundings; a move that forced the man to remove his hold and position himself a farther bit away from her. After he was situated the man took the menu into his own hands.
“Why don’t you go with this avocado sandwich?” he said. “You already know that you would be happy with this.”
He pointed to a spot on the menu a bit sheepishly and the woman leaned over a little to see which he was referring to. Her back was still rigid.
“Maybe, I do love anything with avocado,” she said. “I’m just not sure if I want to try something new right now or stick with something familiar. How about we look at the drinks first?”
She relaxed a bit in her chair, slouching slightly.
As the man and woman looked at the beverages, a tiny woman walked over to their table. She had a face with creasing lines around her mouth and eyes, and wore a loosely tied black apron that hung around her frame. Her shoulders barely made it above the top of the elevated table top.
“Have you two made any decisions?” asked the server.
They both had to lean forward a little to get on a more average level with their server.
“Unfortunately not any big ones yet,” said the man with a grin.
“I’m really sorry,” said the woman as she made a pleading smile at the server. “I’m taking forever. I could start with lemonade though and hopefully I will have made up my mind by the time it comes back.”
“No worries, take your time,” said the server. She turned to look at the man again. “Any drinks for you?”
“I’ll have this juice blend, the one with the oranges and strawberries.”
“Ok, I’ll be back with these in a few minutes.”
She walked away and the man twisted in his chair with his elbow on the table for support.
“She’s going to get frustrated real fast with your indecisiveness.”
“Well I guess she is just going to have to deal,” she smirked.
“That’s a nice attitude.”
“I don’t like being rushed.”
“By all means then, take your time. Remember to wake me up when you actually get to a real decision.”
“I could always decide to just eat at home I suppose.”
“Nah, you’re already here.”
“I could just as easily go back.”
“If you wanted to eat at home then you wouldn’t have come out. Quit being stubborn and just look at the menu.”
The woman placed her elbow on the table and supported her head on her hand facing the man. One foot moved off the lower bar and drifted over the bag. She looked down at the menu another time while tracing the options with her left index finger. The man stared intently at that hand; his eyes followed its every movement. His gaze focused on the delicate golden band that wrapped around the third finger. The woman looked at the top of his head as he was clearly focused.
“I think I want soup,” said the woman. “It feels like a soup day doesn’t it?”
The man looked up at her face.
“How is that so?”
“This place makes it appear so dark and gloomy out, and soup would be a nice warm comfort for it,” she said. “You can’t ever go wrong with soup.”
“We could always go to a place that is less ‘gloomy’ as you call it,” said the man as he air-quoted her description.
“In public?”
“This is a public place you know. I don’t even know why you’re worried.”
“You’re right; I don’t know why we don’t just continue these meetings in the bright sunny streets, maybe even take a billboard out.”
“So is this your subtle way of telling me you won’t be joining me tonight? Because I hope you realize that that will be more than just a lunch at restaurant frequented by more than just five people.”
“I told you I didn’t know.”
The woman ran her fingers through her thick dark hair; it was very long, she ran her hand through a few more times pushing it all back. She did so for about a minute. She started to kick her bag again.
“You should probably decide on something soon, before our server comes back I mean.”
“Remember that cute little bakery we used to go to whenever I visited you at school,” asked the woman. “I loved their pastries. I tried to look for a similar place out here but couldn’t really find anything. I mean sure, there are plenty of good places here but nothing that quite matches that place.”
“They had another chain near my place when I started that first job out there,” he responded. “I think they expanded more a couple of years after too.”
“I could see why you decided to stay out there after school; so many nice little places. And the scenery alone is very pretty,” she said.
“I’ve liked being back here at home more though, even if just for a short time,” he said. “And there are far more beautiful things, that haven’t changed here.”
“There are some changes big ones actually.”
“Get ready, she’s back.”
The server came back to their table with a couple of drinks and picked up a pen and notepad that had been accompanying them on her tray. The woman flipped through the menu again.
“Ready?”
“Why don’t you start first?” the woman turned to the man to ask.
The server turned back to the man with a look of exhaustion on her face.
“I’ll go with an old favorite,” he said to the server. “The Italian Panini without tomatoes.”
“Good choice,” said the server. “Ready yet miss?”
“I will go with…the…butternut squash soup.”
“Alright, they will be out in just a bit,” said the server. She picked up the tray and walked back to the kitchen.
The woman grabbed her glass and took a long sip. Still looking down at the table, the man grabbed the tickets.
“She was pleasant.”
“The flight leaves at eight,” he said.
“I know. There are still a few hours.”
“We used to talk about this before, remember?”
“Of course.”
“You always said you could follow me anywhere,” he said. “And we would go wherever we wanted and live in a shack if it meant we had to. We would live like vagabonds.”
The woman smiled.
“You were always much too structured for that,” she said. “I think you would’ve missed a good corporate lifestyle.”
“My line of work isn’t really everywhere, but this is definitely one of the better places,” he said. “There’s no shack, and I guess it’s actually a great set-up. But it’s still a mix of what we both wanted.”
The woman looked across the café out the window. Her hands fidgeted in her lap and she was lightly biting her lower lip. She took a few deep breaths, the last one exhaling with a sigh. She looked back at the man.
“It’s not the same anymore.”
“Things haven’t changed that much it’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”
“And who said things needed fixing?” the woman shot back. “Did you ever think that maybe there was never a problem?”
“There is a problem and you wouldn’t be here, bags packed if there wasn’t.”
“You don’t know that. People do things all the time for no apparent reason at all.”
“This isn’t just a mindless action and you know it.”
The man’s face was stern. His short hair framed his face, and accentuated his high cheek bones and hard jaw line. This heightened passion left color in his otherwise pale face and his dark eyes gleamed under the florescent lighting. His hands were on the table in fists and his body rigid. He stared out the window for a few minutes gaining more ease as the minutes went by. The woman said nothing and just watched his countenance. She placed her hands over his. He looked at her and just as she was opening her mouth he interrupted.
“Please don’t say that you’re sorry we still have more time.”
She closed her mouth and just looked back at him.
Just then her bag buzzed. She held onto his hands for another minute until the buzzing returned. After a moment of rummaging, she pulled out her cell phone.
She read the message, with the man stealing a look as well, and placed it back in her bag. She turned back to the man but he had already sat up and took his hands off the table, folded his arms across his chest.
“What do you want from me?” she asked. “This isn’t just picking a meal or deciding what to do for the day. There is a lot more to think about than you’re willing to accept.”
“You shouldn’t need to think,” he said. “You already know. Even if you don’t want to accept it, you know. You knew it four years ago with me, you knew it again three months ago when we ran into each other on the street, and you know it now. Why else would we keep ending up together?”
“This is a big life-changing decision; of course I need to think.”
“You know.”
“No, I don’t know,” she said. “You can’t just pretend like everything is exactly the same. This city isn’t all that large; we were bound to run into each other at some point when you came back. These little get-togethers have been great and I love catching up with yo-“
“Get-togethers? Be serious.”
“What?”
“These aren’t just ‘get-togethers’ so don’t kid yourself.”
“We meet occasionally to stay updated.”
“Ha, good one.”
She shot a displeased look at him.
“When are you going to stop lying to yourself?”
“I don’t know. When are you?”
“And what would I be lying about? I know what I want.”
“Yea and you seem to be very convinced that you know what every other person wants as well.”
“You’re the one who brought your bag. I sure as hell didn’t pack it for you.”
“Maybe I’m going somewhere else after this.”
“Now you’re really stretching.”
“I’m funny like that huh?”
“I get it. I do.”
“Get what?”
“What you’re trying to do.”
“And what would that be?”
“Like you don’t know.”
“Enlighten me.”
“You know you want to go with. You know you want to be with me too. You’re just putting up your little front here because you don’t want to admit it to yourself.”
“Why thank you Freud.”
“Leave with me.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Of course it is.”
“We can’t just pick it back up how you want. You already made sure of that two years ago when you decided for me that distance wasn’t my thing.”
“I know that, but I thought that that would be the best thing to do at the time.”
“Fine it was what you thought best,” she said. “Well this is the consequence of that decision.”
He grabbed her hand and picked the third finger with his other hand, turning around the band.
“This isn’t permanent nothing is final and this is still just a hold that you could easily deny,” the man pleaded to her. “I know that you’re angry, but I can fix that. I can be there for you now.”
“Stop.”
“No I won’t. You might think that he’s the right choice now but will you still think it a few years from now when you’re living your “safe” and boring life? I know that you won’t. You’ll wonder about me and the life we could have had. I’ll be fine because at least I’ll know that I tried. But you…you can go on living with regret if that’s what you want.”
The woman took her hand back and picked up the tickets reading the text. A minute later their server returned with the food. The man thanked her and she returned to the kitchen. The woman placed the tickets back down on the table, picked up her spoon and stirred it around in her soup. They carried on their meal in silence. Ten minutes passed before the server returned for a check-up.
“Anything else I can get you two?”
“I think we’re still deciding some things right now,” said the woman.
“Just let me know if you need anything.”
The server walked away, the man looked back up at the woman with a hopeful expression and spoke.
“I could make you happy.”
“He’s just as capable.”
“Anyone is capable, but I can actually do it. I will do it,” he said. “Don’t compare my “capability” to his dreary approach. Personally I’m surprised you aren’t bored of him already. Oh right, I forgot, you’re in to boring now.”
“Leave him out of this already. Is this really what you’re going to go with? Berating me into joining you? You’re a real romantic; I don’t know why I haven’t just said yes already. Obviously what I’m really missing in my life is someone to annoy the hell out of me and tell me what to do.”
“At least I get your blood boiling, I make you feel something. You might as well just be dead if you’re going to just give up on real happiness for the rest of your life.”
“Dead? Because I’m not following someone based on their will?”
“Whatever you feel for him isn’t even one speck of what you feel for me.”
“You’re right. I don’t ever wish I could strangle him till he was blue.”
“You would have to actually feel something for him for that to happen.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“That whatever that is there, it will fade. It won’t last and every day it will diminish and deteriorate till there is only a dim echo of what started.”
“Bull.”
“No it isn’t. What we have is constant. It won’t ever fade or dim and it is always, always there. You’re real dense if you can’t see that.”
“I think I would be the one to know what makes me happy.”
The woman got up out of her chair and bent down to grab her bag. The man grasped at her arm and held onto her until she slapped off his hand. He reached over another time and pulled her back close to him.
“Please just sit back down, I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not.”
“Really I am.”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“I’m not I swear.”
“You must think I’m real stupid if you think I am going to take your crap about being sorry for all that. You meant what you said.”
The man still held on to her arm and moved her closer back to her chair.
“Please sit.”
“Like hell I will.”
“Of course I meant what I said. I’m not going to change how I feel about this and what I know is best. But I am sorry that I’ve upset you.”
They remained in this stance for just a few moments before the woman dropped her bag back down on the ground and sat in her chair.
“Are you happy right now?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t say sure you don’t mean it if you’re just ‘sure.’ Tell me that you’re happy and I’ll leave. If you desire his company more than mine, I’ll go.”
“I could be happy.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
She said nothing.
“You brought a bag it would be easy,” he said.
“How do you even know that there is anything packed in here?”
“Because I know you and I know you want to be with me.”
“He’ll wonder what happened, where I am. It wouldn’t be right.”
“You would rather settle then? Can you live without your heart? That fire inside of you that made you pack your bag in the first place? That has you here with me every week? Because I know I don’t want an existence like that. You’re running out of excuses.”
The server came back and left the check. The man pulled out his wallet and put some cash on the table. He got out of his chair and picked up two of the bags and took one of the tickets from off of the table.
“Why are you getting up we still have a few hours.”
“I don’t want to wait a few hours I want to know now.”
“I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”
The man stood there. He examined the table, the café, and then back at the woman’s face. His eyes started to redden and he was breathing only through flared nostrils.
“Stay here just a bit longer so we can talk.”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can.”
“You can’t have both anymore.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry I have to force this right now but you knew this was coming.”
She was silent again.
He gave a heavy sigh, turned around, headed for the door and walked out.
It was darker on the street now that the sun had set even lower in the sky; a little colder. The buildings were almost black and the shadows mixed with the oncoming darkness from above. Only a few people could be spotted on the street and they all quickly walked towards the northern streets. He walked up the block towards a more populated street. He walked through a few smaller crowds towards the streets edge and waved his hand for a taxi. After a few passed by, finally a car pulled up. He placed his bags in, sat down and closed his door.
“Where to?”
The man had just opened his mouth when he could hear a tapping behind him and a muffled sound.
“Wait!”
She had caught up and knocked on the door with her bag and ticket in hand. The man opened his door and she leaped inside. She closed the door and fixed her clothes and hair.
“Airport please,” she said to the driver, out of breath.
The man smiled at her and took her hand into his. It was missing its previous adornment.
“Would you like to see inside my bag?”
“I already knew there were things in there but we can get you what you forgot.”
She looked up and smiled back; there was still a worried line on her face, but it eased as they drove out further into the rays, out of the way of the buildings.
“I think I would like something with avocado for dinner.”
I dont really know what I think of it, but I just finished the revision for my portfolio thats due tomorrow!
Thanks everyone for reading.
The café was dark and almost empty. It was one of the many lonely shops that could be found on this shaded street in the middle of the city. This street was usually cleared of people due to its proximity under some of the tallest buildings in the downtown area, which left it hidden in their shadows. A few blocks north or south of this road was littered with people beyond containment. There were residents, workers, tourists, loiterers, and every kind of person under the sun. They ran, walked and tottered from street to street, building to building, taxi, car, bus, train. Some held bags; some held briefcases, and others left their arms completely empty, taking in only the winds that brushed the movement of their limbs. The sun typically stayed in those areas, shining warm rays of light across the shops and streets that fell under it. Those streets were filled with life and out in the open basking in the glow; whereas this café could not.
Only a handful of patrons were inside. A few of them just passing travelers, an old couple that looked as though they were regulars and a few scattered tables of guests, including that of a man and woman, still well into their youth. This couple sat at a small table near the back and away from the window. A few small luggage bags were at their feet and a pair of tickets, two water glasses and a menu was on their table.
“It’s the strangest thing,” said the woman. “That even though we come in here so frequently, I always have to look at the menu for the longest time.”
“Yes, you’d think that you’d know what you liked by now,” said the man. “We’ve only been meeting here twice a week for the past several months now.”
She dragged the menu across the table so that it was under her.
“I do know what I like, the problem is in the choosing of what I like, and I’m not sure what I feel like today.”
“Well, let’s narrow it down then.”
The woman looked down at the menu that was before her, as the man shifted closer to her around the small, raised, circular metal table and read from over the side of her shoulder. She glanced at him briefly, letting out one small smirk to paint over her mouth, and returned her attention to the object in front of her. Her feet dangled, lightly kicking the bag that lay below them.
“Anything catching your eye yet?” asked the man.
“A few things sound interesting.”
She half smiled at the man.
“Like what?”
“This salad looks really good,” said the woman as she pointed to a spot on the menu.
The man leaned a little closer to take a look and placed his hand on the back of the woman’s chair. The woman kept her finger on the page as she took a quick peek at his face.
“Mmm…a salad with salmon and more things that don’t really belong in a salad,” he said. “Bland don’t you think?”
He sat back up to look at her as he made a disgruntled face. He kept his hand on her chair.
The woman gave a short breathy laugh at her companion and smiled down at the menu.
“It’s wonderful and you know that,” she said. “Don’t you remember the little dishes we used to get back home whenever I made you eat at that seafood place? Bonefish? Of course you wouldn’t touch the uncooked things, but I do remember a certain someone who always ate part of my dishes that had shrimp and tuna.”
The woman flicked the man’s shoulder as she talked about the dishes.
“Yea yea, I suppose those were ok but this dish is really just pointless, no one likes salmon. Especially in a salad… let’s just add tofu for even less flavor.”
“My! Someone’s argument is getting a little weak. Could it be that you’re just bitter that I was right about them liking fish and clearly have the better taste?” she said in a light tone while nudging him a bit with her elbow and smiling.
“Well I guess I’m just not that enthused about the mundane.”
“All I’m hearing right now is I win.”
“That’s your prerogative. And I wouldn’t say that you always have the best taste; there are a few things that you have extremely wrong.”
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”
The woman straightened up a bit and her smile disappeared. She looked at the menu with an impression of more concentration that she had previously given it. She lifted her feet from the bag to rest them on the lower bar of her chair and turned in her seat to look about her dim surroundings; a move that forced the man to remove his hold and position himself a farther bit away from her. After he was situated the man took the menu into his own hands.
“Why don’t you go with this avocado sandwich?” he said. “You already know that you would be happy with this.”
He pointed to a spot on the menu a bit sheepishly and the woman leaned over a little to see which he was referring to. Her back was still rigid.
“Maybe, I do love anything with avocado,” she said. “I’m just not sure if I want to try something new right now or stick with something familiar. How about we look at the drinks first?”
She relaxed a bit in her chair, slouching slightly.
As the man and woman looked at the beverages, a tiny woman walked over to their table. She had a face with creasing lines around her mouth and eyes, and wore a loosely tied black apron that hung around her frame. Her shoulders barely made it above the top of the elevated table top.
“Have you two made any decisions?” asked the server.
They both had to lean forward a little to get on a more average level with their server.
“Unfortunately not any big ones yet,” said the man with a grin.
“I’m really sorry,” said the woman as she made a pleading smile at the server. “I’m taking forever. I could start with lemonade though and hopefully I will have made up my mind by the time it comes back.”
“No worries, take your time,” said the server. She turned to look at the man again. “Any drinks for you?”
“I’ll have this juice blend, the one with the oranges and strawberries.”
“Ok, I’ll be back with these in a few minutes.”
She walked away and the man twisted in his chair with his elbow on the table for support.
“She’s going to get frustrated real fast with your indecisiveness.”
“Well I guess she is just going to have to deal,” she smirked.
“That’s a nice attitude.”
“I don’t like being rushed.”
“By all means then, take your time. Remember to wake me up when you actually get to a real decision.”
“I could always decide to just eat at home I suppose.”
“Nah, you’re already here.”
“I could just as easily go back.”
“If you wanted to eat at home then you wouldn’t have come out. Quit being stubborn and just look at the menu.”
The woman placed her elbow on the table and supported her head on her hand facing the man. One foot moved off the lower bar and drifted over the bag. She looked down at the menu another time while tracing the options with her left index finger. The man stared intently at that hand; his eyes followed its every movement. His gaze focused on the delicate golden band that wrapped around the third finger. The woman looked at the top of his head as he was clearly focused.
“I think I want soup,” said the woman. “It feels like a soup day doesn’t it?”
The man looked up at her face.
“How is that so?”
“This place makes it appear so dark and gloomy out, and soup would be a nice warm comfort for it,” she said. “You can’t ever go wrong with soup.”
“We could always go to a place that is less ‘gloomy’ as you call it,” said the man as he air-quoted her description.
“In public?”
“This is a public place you know. I don’t even know why you’re worried.”
“You’re right; I don’t know why we don’t just continue these meetings in the bright sunny streets, maybe even take a billboard out.”
“So is this your subtle way of telling me you won’t be joining me tonight? Because I hope you realize that that will be more than just a lunch at restaurant frequented by more than just five people.”
“I told you I didn’t know.”
The woman ran her fingers through her thick dark hair; it was very long, she ran her hand through a few more times pushing it all back. She did so for about a minute. She started to kick her bag again.
“You should probably decide on something soon, before our server comes back I mean.”
“Remember that cute little bakery we used to go to whenever I visited you at school,” asked the woman. “I loved their pastries. I tried to look for a similar place out here but couldn’t really find anything. I mean sure, there are plenty of good places here but nothing that quite matches that place.”
“They had another chain near my place when I started that first job out there,” he responded. “I think they expanded more a couple of years after too.”
“I could see why you decided to stay out there after school; so many nice little places. And the scenery alone is very pretty,” she said.
“I’ve liked being back here at home more though, even if just for a short time,” he said. “And there are far more beautiful things, that haven’t changed here.”
“There are some changes big ones actually.”
“Get ready, she’s back.”
The server came back to their table with a couple of drinks and picked up a pen and notepad that had been accompanying them on her tray. The woman flipped through the menu again.
“Ready?”
“Why don’t you start first?” the woman turned to the man to ask.
The server turned back to the man with a look of exhaustion on her face.
“I’ll go with an old favorite,” he said to the server. “The Italian Panini without tomatoes.”
“Good choice,” said the server. “Ready yet miss?”
“I will go with…the…butternut squash soup.”
“Alright, they will be out in just a bit,” said the server. She picked up the tray and walked back to the kitchen.
The woman grabbed her glass and took a long sip. Still looking down at the table, the man grabbed the tickets.
“She was pleasant.”
“The flight leaves at eight,” he said.
“I know. There are still a few hours.”
“We used to talk about this before, remember?”
“Of course.”
“You always said you could follow me anywhere,” he said. “And we would go wherever we wanted and live in a shack if it meant we had to. We would live like vagabonds.”
The woman smiled.
“You were always much too structured for that,” she said. “I think you would’ve missed a good corporate lifestyle.”
“My line of work isn’t really everywhere, but this is definitely one of the better places,” he said. “There’s no shack, and I guess it’s actually a great set-up. But it’s still a mix of what we both wanted.”
The woman looked across the café out the window. Her hands fidgeted in her lap and she was lightly biting her lower lip. She took a few deep breaths, the last one exhaling with a sigh. She looked back at the man.
“It’s not the same anymore.”
“Things haven’t changed that much it’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”
“And who said things needed fixing?” the woman shot back. “Did you ever think that maybe there was never a problem?”
“There is a problem and you wouldn’t be here, bags packed if there wasn’t.”
“You don’t know that. People do things all the time for no apparent reason at all.”
“This isn’t just a mindless action and you know it.”
The man’s face was stern. His short hair framed his face, and accentuated his high cheek bones and hard jaw line. This heightened passion left color in his otherwise pale face and his dark eyes gleamed under the florescent lighting. His hands were on the table in fists and his body rigid. He stared out the window for a few minutes gaining more ease as the minutes went by. The woman said nothing and just watched his countenance. She placed her hands over his. He looked at her and just as she was opening her mouth he interrupted.
“Please don’t say that you’re sorry we still have more time.”
She closed her mouth and just looked back at him.
Just then her bag buzzed. She held onto his hands for another minute until the buzzing returned. After a moment of rummaging, she pulled out her cell phone.
She read the message, with the man stealing a look as well, and placed it back in her bag. She turned back to the man but he had already sat up and took his hands off the table, folded his arms across his chest.
“What do you want from me?” she asked. “This isn’t just picking a meal or deciding what to do for the day. There is a lot more to think about than you’re willing to accept.”
“You shouldn’t need to think,” he said. “You already know. Even if you don’t want to accept it, you know. You knew it four years ago with me, you knew it again three months ago when we ran into each other on the street, and you know it now. Why else would we keep ending up together?”
“This is a big life-changing decision; of course I need to think.”
“You know.”
“No, I don’t know,” she said. “You can’t just pretend like everything is exactly the same. This city isn’t all that large; we were bound to run into each other at some point when you came back. These little get-togethers have been great and I love catching up with yo-“
“Get-togethers? Be serious.”
“What?”
“These aren’t just ‘get-togethers’ so don’t kid yourself.”
“We meet occasionally to stay updated.”
“Ha, good one.”
She shot a displeased look at him.
“When are you going to stop lying to yourself?”
“I don’t know. When are you?”
“And what would I be lying about? I know what I want.”
“Yea and you seem to be very convinced that you know what every other person wants as well.”
“You’re the one who brought your bag. I sure as hell didn’t pack it for you.”
“Maybe I’m going somewhere else after this.”
“Now you’re really stretching.”
“I’m funny like that huh?”
“I get it. I do.”
“Get what?”
“What you’re trying to do.”
“And what would that be?”
“Like you don’t know.”
“Enlighten me.”
“You know you want to go with. You know you want to be with me too. You’re just putting up your little front here because you don’t want to admit it to yourself.”
“Why thank you Freud.”
“Leave with me.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Of course it is.”
“We can’t just pick it back up how you want. You already made sure of that two years ago when you decided for me that distance wasn’t my thing.”
“I know that, but I thought that that would be the best thing to do at the time.”
“Fine it was what you thought best,” she said. “Well this is the consequence of that decision.”
He grabbed her hand and picked the third finger with his other hand, turning around the band.
“This isn’t permanent nothing is final and this is still just a hold that you could easily deny,” the man pleaded to her. “I know that you’re angry, but I can fix that. I can be there for you now.”
“Stop.”
“No I won’t. You might think that he’s the right choice now but will you still think it a few years from now when you’re living your “safe” and boring life? I know that you won’t. You’ll wonder about me and the life we could have had. I’ll be fine because at least I’ll know that I tried. But you…you can go on living with regret if that’s what you want.”
The woman took her hand back and picked up the tickets reading the text. A minute later their server returned with the food. The man thanked her and she returned to the kitchen. The woman placed the tickets back down on the table, picked up her spoon and stirred it around in her soup. They carried on their meal in silence. Ten minutes passed before the server returned for a check-up.
“Anything else I can get you two?”
“I think we’re still deciding some things right now,” said the woman.
“Just let me know if you need anything.”
The server walked away, the man looked back up at the woman with a hopeful expression and spoke.
“I could make you happy.”
“He’s just as capable.”
“Anyone is capable, but I can actually do it. I will do it,” he said. “Don’t compare my “capability” to his dreary approach. Personally I’m surprised you aren’t bored of him already. Oh right, I forgot, you’re in to boring now.”
“Leave him out of this already. Is this really what you’re going to go with? Berating me into joining you? You’re a real romantic; I don’t know why I haven’t just said yes already. Obviously what I’m really missing in my life is someone to annoy the hell out of me and tell me what to do.”
“At least I get your blood boiling, I make you feel something. You might as well just be dead if you’re going to just give up on real happiness for the rest of your life.”
“Dead? Because I’m not following someone based on their will?”
“Whatever you feel for him isn’t even one speck of what you feel for me.”
“You’re right. I don’t ever wish I could strangle him till he was blue.”
“You would have to actually feel something for him for that to happen.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“That whatever that is there, it will fade. It won’t last and every day it will diminish and deteriorate till there is only a dim echo of what started.”
“Bull.”
“No it isn’t. What we have is constant. It won’t ever fade or dim and it is always, always there. You’re real dense if you can’t see that.”
“I think I would be the one to know what makes me happy.”
The woman got up out of her chair and bent down to grab her bag. The man grasped at her arm and held onto her until she slapped off his hand. He reached over another time and pulled her back close to him.
“Please just sit back down, I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not.”
“Really I am.”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“I’m not I swear.”
“You must think I’m real stupid if you think I am going to take your crap about being sorry for all that. You meant what you said.”
The man still held on to her arm and moved her closer back to her chair.
“Please sit.”
“Like hell I will.”
“Of course I meant what I said. I’m not going to change how I feel about this and what I know is best. But I am sorry that I’ve upset you.”
They remained in this stance for just a few moments before the woman dropped her bag back down on the ground and sat in her chair.
“Are you happy right now?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t say sure you don’t mean it if you’re just ‘sure.’ Tell me that you’re happy and I’ll leave. If you desire his company more than mine, I’ll go.”
“I could be happy.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
She said nothing.
“You brought a bag it would be easy,” he said.
“How do you even know that there is anything packed in here?”
“Because I know you and I know you want to be with me.”
“He’ll wonder what happened, where I am. It wouldn’t be right.”
“You would rather settle then? Can you live without your heart? That fire inside of you that made you pack your bag in the first place? That has you here with me every week? Because I know I don’t want an existence like that. You’re running out of excuses.”
The server came back and left the check. The man pulled out his wallet and put some cash on the table. He got out of his chair and picked up two of the bags and took one of the tickets from off of the table.
“Why are you getting up we still have a few hours.”
“I don’t want to wait a few hours I want to know now.”
“I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”
The man stood there. He examined the table, the café, and then back at the woman’s face. His eyes started to redden and he was breathing only through flared nostrils.
“Stay here just a bit longer so we can talk.”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can.”
“You can’t have both anymore.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry I have to force this right now but you knew this was coming.”
She was silent again.
He gave a heavy sigh, turned around, headed for the door and walked out.
It was darker on the street now that the sun had set even lower in the sky; a little colder. The buildings were almost black and the shadows mixed with the oncoming darkness from above. Only a few people could be spotted on the street and they all quickly walked towards the northern streets. He walked up the block towards a more populated street. He walked through a few smaller crowds towards the streets edge and waved his hand for a taxi. After a few passed by, finally a car pulled up. He placed his bags in, sat down and closed his door.
“Where to?”
The man had just opened his mouth when he could hear a tapping behind him and a muffled sound.
“Wait!”
She had caught up and knocked on the door with her bag and ticket in hand. The man opened his door and she leaped inside. She closed the door and fixed her clothes and hair.
“Airport please,” she said to the driver, out of breath.
The man smiled at her and took her hand into his. It was missing its previous adornment.
“Would you like to see inside my bag?”
“I already knew there were things in there but we can get you what you forgot.”
She looked up and smiled back; there was still a worried line on her face, but it eased as they drove out further into the rays, out of the way of the buildings.
“I think I would like something with avocado for dinner.”