Mommy, where do babies come from?
Hi! Um, I know I probably shouldn't update twice a day but... for the sake of educating you, I will.
I found this written in my old Grade 9 Science workbook. Read it and be enlightened.
The Adventures of Sammy the Sperm
Once upon a time there was a little cell named Sammy Sperm and he lived in the Seminiferous Tubules Street in a little village called Testes in the country of Penis. Now, Sammy wasn't your average run-of-the-mill type of sperm cell; he was special and he knew it. All his life he exercised vigorously, strengthening his long tail by doing lengths of whipkick across the fast flowing river at the back of his house. He was also a very talented young cell, able to coordinate his head and his tail to move quite effectively. In every race he had with his other friends who lived in the same testes, Sammy always came out the winner. For this reason, he KNEW he was special.
Ever since he was small, his father had told him stories of a fantastic voyage he heard that other sperm had gone on, though they never came back to tell the story themselves. Always, his father said, "Sammy, I know you're only just a tiny little squirt, but I am going to tell you of an experience which may happen to you one of these days. When it does, it will change your whole life as you know it today." And he would go on and tell Sammy about some fantastic place called the Land of the Uterus, where many wonderful things were conceived. But to get there, you had to go through many winding tubules known as Epidydimis Alley and Vas Deferens Lane. Because of the length of the journey, the Seminal Vesicle Cafe provides every sperm with a high energy liquid lunch of fructose, a nutritious sugar snack. Continuing on the adventure, you travel down a long dark tunnel called the Ejaculatory Duct which is surrounded by the Prostate Gland mountain range where you need to obtain your armour. The next step is a marathon swim up a steep valley called Valley of Vagina, then through a large open space in the Land of the Uterus and finally, an important decision must be made about which direction to take through the Fallopian Tubes. A wrong decision here and you will be history! Somewhere in this strange land is a giant sphere named Olga Egg. To see this wonderful creature is a chance of a lifetime, but to join up with her is what is known as one of life's little pleasures. But there is one thing to beware of. She has many sisters who look almost like her and she must not be mistaken for one of them. Right now she is just a small little thing, known as Immature Ovum around her hometown of Ovary in the country of Olivia. To meet up with her at this time of life will definitely not bring happiness. At some point in time she will, within 14 days, develop into a mature egg cell and migrate south toward the Land of the Uterus to find a mate. Many of her sisters have gone, one at a time, before her but have not been lucky in their same quest. But Olga is special and she is destined to be successful.
One day when Sammy was playing with his friends Sparky, Spirally, Spindly, Spanky (Spanky?! Omg, how dirty is this?), and Spikey, he suddenly recalled his father's words. He noticed the river which flowed by his house was swiftly running in a new direction and the air felt full of excitement. Then and there he decided he would go and find Olga Egg!
Quicky he plunged into the river and started down the network of tubules he had heard about. Immediately he noticed his friends and a horde of others were hot on his tail. A race developed. Each sperm swam madly in the same long dark tunnel and up the Valley of Vagina he coursed, making good use of his whipkick practice, until he finally came to a large empty space. "This must be the Land of Uterus!" he thought, "But where is Olga?" he noticed the path forked further up. he chose the right hand way. Once again he found the others were in hot pursuit. With the remaining ounces of strength, he sped up a narrow path signposted as "Fallopian Tube". All of a sudden he bumped violently into a large round sphere, many times the size of himself. Besides being stunned by the force of the collision, he was overwhelmed by the size of the object. It must be Olga!
Just at that moment, his friends caught up with him, panting and puffing from such an exertion. Resigned to the fact that they had lost the race, they goodheartedly offered to help Sammy complete the final stage of his long quest. At first, it seemed like a gigantic task, but once they got started, taking Olga for Sammy's bride was comparatively easy. (But carrying her fat body over the threshhold would be quite another matter, they decided.) After a brief fertilization ceremony, which Sammy actually found quite penetrating, the happy couple decided to continue along Olga's original migration route south in search of a more hospitable climate. Upon entering the Land of Uterus, they strangely found it so inviting it seemed only natural that they should settle down there, make it their home and raise a family. In fact, after a short while, they both became attached to the place.
So, in complete happiness, the two newlyweds lived happily ever after in the Land of Uterus (about nine months actually) and their bliss grew and developed into something much more exciting than anyhting Sammy had ever imagined. "Yes," he thought, "My father was right. This is the land where wonderful things are conceived!"
...and the sad thing is, it was probably a teen pregnancy.
I found this written in my old Grade 9 Science workbook. Read it and be enlightened.
The Adventures of Sammy the Sperm
Once upon a time there was a little cell named Sammy Sperm and he lived in the Seminiferous Tubules Street in a little village called Testes in the country of Penis. Now, Sammy wasn't your average run-of-the-mill type of sperm cell; he was special and he knew it. All his life he exercised vigorously, strengthening his long tail by doing lengths of whipkick across the fast flowing river at the back of his house. He was also a very talented young cell, able to coordinate his head and his tail to move quite effectively. In every race he had with his other friends who lived in the same testes, Sammy always came out the winner. For this reason, he KNEW he was special.
Ever since he was small, his father had told him stories of a fantastic voyage he heard that other sperm had gone on, though they never came back to tell the story themselves. Always, his father said, "Sammy, I know you're only just a tiny little squirt, but I am going to tell you of an experience which may happen to you one of these days. When it does, it will change your whole life as you know it today." And he would go on and tell Sammy about some fantastic place called the Land of the Uterus, where many wonderful things were conceived. But to get there, you had to go through many winding tubules known as Epidydimis Alley and Vas Deferens Lane. Because of the length of the journey, the Seminal Vesicle Cafe provides every sperm with a high energy liquid lunch of fructose, a nutritious sugar snack. Continuing on the adventure, you travel down a long dark tunnel called the Ejaculatory Duct which is surrounded by the Prostate Gland mountain range where you need to obtain your armour. The next step is a marathon swim up a steep valley called Valley of Vagina, then through a large open space in the Land of the Uterus and finally, an important decision must be made about which direction to take through the Fallopian Tubes. A wrong decision here and you will be history! Somewhere in this strange land is a giant sphere named Olga Egg. To see this wonderful creature is a chance of a lifetime, but to join up with her is what is known as one of life's little pleasures. But there is one thing to beware of. She has many sisters who look almost like her and she must not be mistaken for one of them. Right now she is just a small little thing, known as Immature Ovum around her hometown of Ovary in the country of Olivia. To meet up with her at this time of life will definitely not bring happiness. At some point in time she will, within 14 days, develop into a mature egg cell and migrate south toward the Land of the Uterus to find a mate. Many of her sisters have gone, one at a time, before her but have not been lucky in their same quest. But Olga is special and she is destined to be successful.
One day when Sammy was playing with his friends Sparky, Spirally, Spindly, Spanky (Spanky?! Omg, how dirty is this?), and Spikey, he suddenly recalled his father's words. He noticed the river which flowed by his house was swiftly running in a new direction and the air felt full of excitement. Then and there he decided he would go and find Olga Egg!
Quicky he plunged into the river and started down the network of tubules he had heard about. Immediately he noticed his friends and a horde of others were hot on his tail. A race developed. Each sperm swam madly in the same long dark tunnel and up the Valley of Vagina he coursed, making good use of his whipkick practice, until he finally came to a large empty space. "This must be the Land of Uterus!" he thought, "But where is Olga?" he noticed the path forked further up. he chose the right hand way. Once again he found the others were in hot pursuit. With the remaining ounces of strength, he sped up a narrow path signposted as "Fallopian Tube". All of a sudden he bumped violently into a large round sphere, many times the size of himself. Besides being stunned by the force of the collision, he was overwhelmed by the size of the object. It must be Olga!
Just at that moment, his friends caught up with him, panting and puffing from such an exertion. Resigned to the fact that they had lost the race, they goodheartedly offered to help Sammy complete the final stage of his long quest. At first, it seemed like a gigantic task, but once they got started, taking Olga for Sammy's bride was comparatively easy. (But carrying her fat body over the threshhold would be quite another matter, they decided.) After a brief fertilization ceremony, which Sammy actually found quite penetrating, the happy couple decided to continue along Olga's original migration route south in search of a more hospitable climate. Upon entering the Land of Uterus, they strangely found it so inviting it seemed only natural that they should settle down there, make it their home and raise a family. In fact, after a short while, they both became attached to the place.
So, in complete happiness, the two newlyweds lived happily ever after in the Land of Uterus (about nine months actually) and their bliss grew and developed into something much more exciting than anyhting Sammy had ever imagined. "Yes," he thought, "My father was right. This is the land where wonderful things are conceived!"
...and the sad thing is, it was probably a teen pregnancy.