(no subject)
sad.mad.upset.anything but happy,jealous..etc.
Find out something i never wanted to happen again! You know what and who you are. Yes. so wat if it made you happy. But that doesn't make the people around you happy. Of course i want you to be happy. That is all i really have been wanting for you cause of your past. I want YOU to be the Happiest person. But i believe doing that isn't going to make you happy/solve the problem, it does on the inside but not on the outside or to the people who really really love you. example me.
I do really true noe what you are going thru really. you probably think i don't because i don't go through it, but just because i don't go through it doesn't mean i can't understand the feeling. Cause i've watched people go through it and it helps me learn more and more. But the more i learn, brings me down. Cause i just noe that there is really nothing i can do about it cause i don't want to stop you from happiness. I can cry right this moment. But i don't want to waste my tears now when i know im going to be using them later. Yes i'm being emotional right now. But its how i feel. I'm sorry things has to be this way. When i really wished it didn't have to be this way for you or you have to go through this. Iunno why alot of painful things happen to you and i don't think you deserve it. But really. If you could just try to stop for me. and try to be happy with what you have around you. me. lol. :) i'm trying soo hard to put a smile on my face with knowing the fact i can't help you as much you can't help yourself. I might think i can, but i know i can't cause i've tried so many times when you used to do it. It didn't work. And then you say that you are never ever going to do that. That brought my smile back and i was so relief to hear you say that. Then i see you write in the journal. opps i did it again. you know what i mean though. I knew from that moment. BEFORE i even started reading the first letter. It had happened it. The smile that was on my face before was wiped off my face immediatly.
You probably would get mad at me for saying how you can stop and everything and with the smile stuff. But i just want you to know that i understand but i still won't be happy. even if it makes you happy. but i want something that will make you happy along with me on the side. so i know that its really really making you happy. that probably don't make sense to other people but i know to you it will. You are the only one that can possibly understand this whole thing because you know who i'm talkin about and what i'm talking about.
But for the rest of you i'm sorry if i made you read this and waste your time. Leave a comment if you feel like it. .Byes.Luvz.