“So, were you actually going to tell me that they’d moved you across the tower, or were you going to let me figure it out on my own?” Billy said quietly from the doorway. He stood there, leaning against the doorframe, his face totally unreadable, but his body language radiating something that just might have been anger. At whom, nobody (not even Billy) could really say.
He’d actually been watching Teddy for a few minutes before he’d spoke up. He’d gone over lots of things he could say, and discarded them all. This wasn’t Teddy’s idea (was it) and getting mad at him was not the answer. But he was really beginning to get frustrated with the whole situation, up to and including the fact that Teddy seemed to be closing him out. “Mr. Cage let me know where you were.”
He still didn't come into the room. He wasn't really sure if he wanted to or not.
He wasn't going to feel guilty, Teddy told himself. There was absolutely no reason to feel guilty and he hadn't done anything wrong. "Oh, hey," he said, telling his racing heart to slow down. How had Billy managed to creep up on him like that? And he found out that fast about the move?
"I thought you were busy helping Cassie with that thing, so I was going to find you after I finished with this," he said. Little white lies never hurt anyone. He really would have looked for Billy eventually.
"We finished up pretty quickly." Billy said, still staying where he was. In truth, when Luke Cage had mentioned that Teddy was being moved, he'd dropped everything and run to check for himself. He'd spent almost a minute staring numbly where Teddy's stuff had been in their room before hunting his boyfriend down himself. He’d always thought Teddy could talk to him… but now he was starting to feel like maybe that wasn’t the case. “It’s not like we were all that busy.”
He looked around the room from his vantage point, taking note of how carefully things had been set up and refusing to frown. If this didn’t bother Teddy, he wasn’t going to let anyone know how much it bothered him. “I couldn’t helped. Or something.”
There was awkward and then there was stupid. This conversation was moving from the former from the latter with alarming rapidity. Teddy focused on folding a new pair of khakis that were two inches too long. Jarvis had said something about having someone hem them. Teddy wasn't sure how the mistake had happened; his handwriting wasn't that bad, was it?
The moment stretched.
"Come in already," he said abruptly, not looking up from his pants. He hated silent non-arguments, and if the way Billy was acting was any sign, they were having one. He didn't need this on top of everything else. Awkward and uncomfortable and stupid, and full of too many things unsaid. "I'm just getting moved to another room. We knew it'd happen eventually."
Billy ran a hand through his hair and did his level best not to glare at Teddy. He was not going to be angry. Absolutely not. Teddy was just trying to avoid the issue, and now that his attempt at avoidance had officially backfired, Billy was not going to stay mad.
The light fixture sparked again, and little blue sparks skittered across Billy’s skin and made his hair stand on end. He looked like he’d just stuck his hand in an electrical socket.
Deep breath, Kaplan. Breath in… breath out… calm down…
The sparking above stopped, though little bits of lightning still moved across his skin. Billy closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He had to stay calm. He was not going to zap Teddy.
Teddy didn't look up, eyes resolutely focused on his knees.
"I don't even know what you want me to say." Louder, so Billy could hear him. Every damn word, until this was over with. Billy was putting up with his shit, and he'd promised.
"Every time I think that I'm getting over some of this, something else happens to prove me wrong." Like reverting to old habits he'd sworn he'd never rely on again. Keep talking.
"I'm supposed to be able to handle this. I'm not supposed to lose it over little stuff like this."
“You’re sixteen, Ted. Very mature for sixteen, but you’re still…” Billy shrugged. “You’re still young. Young enough to still do really stupid things. Nobody expects you to just get over things like they don’t matter. God, what’s been going on lately, it’s the kind of thing that puts people into therapy for years.”
Billy scooted so that he was right beside Teddy. “You don’t have to pretend that you’re over anything.”
"Yes, I do have to." Teddy continued to stare down at his legs, stretched out on the bed before him. "If I act like a stupid teenager who overreacts to stuff, that's just how the Avengers are going to treat me." That was one thing Teddy knew he wasn't going to be able to handle. If he was going to be forced to stay in Avengers Tower for his own protection, then he at least needed to be seen as old enough -- responsible enough -- that he could be trusted. Even if he really was a mutant Skrull.
"Everything's changing, Billy, and I can't do anything about it."
“That was a matter of opportunity.” Billy said quietly. “You were right there, and I wasn’t.” He could have tried arguing him out of the guilt, but that would have been a waste of time. He’d almost killed someone, and he had every right to feel guilty about it. In truth, Billy would have been afraid if Teddy didn’t feel guilty about it.
Not that he felt particularly forgiving towards Sinesis. She’d kidnapped them, she’d hurt Eli and Teddy and Kate and Cassie, and she’d done something to Eliza to leave her a giant mess, and God only knew what she would have done to them if she’d had the time. “She tried to kill you.”
"Yeah. And I tried to kill her right back." Which was wrong, and Teddy knew it, and Billy knew it. Heroes didn't kill people. But she hadn't been a person, she'd just become something other that had needed to be stopped. As soon as she'd become something inhuman, he'd tried to destroy her. "She was something else. She wasn't one of us. That's what bothers me. I didn't even think that she was a person -- like us, you know?"
Billy thought about it, finally letting his hand drop away from Teddy’s stomach. “Unfortunately,” he drawled, “I think the person who would know best would be Mrs. Xanathos, and I’d be willing to bet you don’t like her very much.”
He was silent for a little while, watching the floors go past. “I’d say what she did really pushes her into the realm of not-quite-personhood, but we don’t really know that much about her to make that kind of judgment. She…” Billy chewed on his lower lip. “She seemed to care about what was going on, but like a little kid cares about seeing the ants burned up with a magnifying glass.”
"It doesn't matter if she cared or not," Teddy said, focusing his attention on the crackle of tiny blue lightning flares as they continued downward. "We don't get to make that call, if someone's a person or not. If they should die or not. And I shouldn't have attacked her because she wasn't a person like us."
His eyes narrowed as he looked at Billy, and he smiled shallowly. "Hell, I'm not a person like us, Billy. And that's -- that's what bothers me about it. Maybe that's why it won't go away yet. I don't know. I just -- need to get used to it. Get over it. Make sure that I don't ever do it again."
“Maybe later. There’s still a lot of questions that we need answers to before-”
Billy put his hand over Teddy’s, his face carefully blank as the florescent lights flickered ominously.
“I would advise against that, Billy.” Iron Man said, trying not to think about what Captain America and the old woman had discussed a few days ago, or about his own conclusions along those lines.
“I’m not actually doing anything,” Billy pointed out softly, looking a little grey in the face.
"And he's not going to," Teddy said, his voice rising sharply. He didn't need Billy zapping Iron Man. That wasn't going to help.
"I don't see how me seeing her is going to make any difference in how soon your questions get answered. Sir." Don't shift, he ordered himself. Don't shift. Do. Not. Shift. He could control this. If he Hulked-out, Iron Man was never going to agree to let him go in there without a fight.
“Because we don’t actually know what to make of her remains yet. She’s not human, and we don’t have much practical experience with Skrull remains.” Iron Man said. Billy’s hand clutched tighter at Teddy’s. “We don’t actually know what effects being exposed to her remains could do to people around them, and we don’t want to expose anyone to something that might be dangerous.”
"There's been plenty of Skrulls killed on Earth," Teddy said flatly. "That's what humans do with Skrulls."
He wasn't stupid; he'd read plenty about Skrulls over the years in his own attempts to assure himself that he was human, and since finding out that he really wasn't. "I'm part Skrull so that's not a problem and besides, I can heal from anything that might 'contaminate' me. There's no reason that I can't see her. She's my mom."
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He’d actually been watching Teddy for a few minutes before he’d spoke up. He’d gone over lots of things he could say, and discarded them all. This wasn’t Teddy’s idea (was it) and getting mad at him was not the answer. But he was really beginning to get frustrated with the whole situation, up to and including the fact that Teddy seemed to be closing him out. “Mr. Cage let me know where you were.”
He still didn't come into the room. He wasn't really sure if he wanted to or not.
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"I thought you were busy helping Cassie with that thing, so I was going to find you after I finished with this," he said. Little white lies never hurt anyone. He really would have looked for Billy eventually.
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He looked around the room from his vantage point, taking note of how carefully things had been set up and refusing to frown. If this didn’t bother Teddy, he wasn’t going to let anyone know how much it bothered him. “I couldn’t helped. Or something.”
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The moment stretched.
"Come in already," he said abruptly, not looking up from his pants. He hated silent non-arguments, and if the way Billy was acting was any sign, they were having one. He didn't need this on top of everything else. Awkward and uncomfortable and stupid, and full of too many things unsaid. "I'm just getting moved to another room. We knew it'd happen eventually."
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The light fixture sparked again, and little blue sparks skittered across Billy’s skin and made his hair stand on end. He looked like he’d just stuck his hand in an electrical socket.
Deep breath, Kaplan. Breath in… breath out… calm down…
The sparking above stopped, though little bits of lightning still moved across his skin. Billy closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He had to stay calm. He was not going to zap Teddy.
“Ted. Talk to me.”
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"I don't even know what you want me to say." Louder, so Billy could hear him. Every damn word, until this was over with. Billy was putting up with his shit, and he'd promised.
"Every time I think that I'm getting over some of this, something else happens to prove me wrong." Like reverting to old habits he'd sworn he'd never rely on again. Keep talking.
"I'm supposed to be able to handle this. I'm not supposed to lose it over little stuff like this."
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Billy scooted so that he was right beside Teddy. “You don’t have to pretend that you’re over anything.”
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"Everything's changing, Billy, and I can't do anything about it."
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Not that he felt particularly forgiving towards Sinesis. She’d kidnapped them, she’d hurt Eli and Teddy and Kate and Cassie, and she’d done something to Eliza to leave her a giant mess, and God only knew what she would have done to them if she’d had the time. “She tried to kill you.”
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He was silent for a little while, watching the floors go past. “I’d say what she did really pushes her into the realm of not-quite-personhood, but we don’t really know that much about her to make that kind of judgment. She…” Billy chewed on his lower lip. “She seemed to care about what was going on, but like a little kid cares about seeing the ants burned up with a magnifying glass.”
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His eyes narrowed as he looked at Billy, and he smiled shallowly. "Hell, I'm not a person like us, Billy. And that's -- that's what bothers me about it. Maybe that's why it won't go away yet. I don't know. I just -- need to get used to it. Get over it. Make sure that I don't ever do it again."
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Billy put his hand over Teddy’s, his face carefully blank as the florescent lights flickered ominously.
“I would advise against that, Billy.” Iron Man said, trying not to think about what Captain America and the old woman had discussed a few days ago, or about his own conclusions along those lines.
“I’m not actually doing anything,” Billy pointed out softly, looking a little grey in the face.
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"I don't see how me seeing her is going to make any difference in how soon your questions get answered. Sir." Don't shift, he ordered himself. Don't shift. Do. Not. Shift. He could control this. If he Hulked-out, Iron Man was never going to agree to let him go in there without a fight.
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He wasn't stupid; he'd read plenty about Skrulls over the years in his own attempts to assure himself that he was human, and since finding out that he really wasn't. "I'm part Skrull so that's not a problem and besides, I can heal from anything that might 'contaminate' me. There's no reason that I can't see her. She's my mom."
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