Chasing Prince Charming [FIC]
Continued from here
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~*~
Over the weeks that followed, Jared’s closet filled with a wide variety of women’s clothing. All of it was showy and decadent and showed far more than just a few hints of skin. Friday through Sunday saw Jared dancing two shows on stage, which was always followed up by spending the night wrapped up in Jensen’s arms, well-fucked and satisfied.
It was Saturday night while Jared was dancing that a familiar and much hated voice rose up out of the crowd. “Knew you were a slut, Jay!” or “Show daddy what you’ve got!” setting Jared’s teeth on edge.
Jack hadn’t really been around much since the impromptu crashing of Jared’s weekly beach party, but when he was present, he was always a dick. Jared finished up his set and hurried off the stage, hoping that Jack would be gone by the time he emerged from backstage.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be.
No sooner than Jared had stepped out than Jack was right up in his face. “Hey, baby, wanna take a ride?” he purred, sliding his hands down Jared’s hips to grip his ass.
“Fuck off, Jack,” Jared growled and shoved at Jack’s arms, neatly stepping past him and striding determinedly toward the bar. Though Jared was a big guy and could defend himself, he liked letting Jensen do it when he could, and he knew Jensen already hated Jack so he’d get a kick out of busting his balls in public.
“I don’t think so, babydoll,” Jack snarled and gripped Jared’s arm, dragging him around to a booth and shoving him into it, following closely and crowding Jared up against the back of the booth. “You’re going to stay right here and be a good boy for daddy.”
Jared bared his teeth and shoved at Jack, and even though the guy was built small, he was solid and had a decent amount of muscle hiding under his clothes. Jack didn’t even budge. “Get. The fuck. Away from me, asshole!” he growled, shoving again but still not managing to dislodge Jack from his side.
Jensen was at the bar as per usual, mixing drinks and making tips. He watched Jared on stage and as always found himself hard with his eyes glued to his best friend as he moved across the stage. Generally Jensen behaved himself when other men would grab and tug on Jared; that was part of his reason for being here. Jack, however, was another matter altogether. Lucky for Jack, so far Jensen hadn't seen him yet and was too busy to really be on the lookout for Jared just yet.
As the minutes ticked by, though, Jensen became strongly aware of the fact that Jared hadn't come to the bar after his set was over with. He frowned and looked around a minute, telling one of the other boys that he would be back shortly. Heading back towards the stage, Jensen caught sight of Jared shoving off some guy in a booth towards the back. He didn't stop, he didn't even think, he reached them in less than two seconds flat, his hands twisting in the back of the guy’s shirt as he dragged him off and away from Jared, not yet taking notice as to who he had in his grasp.
“Get the fucking fuck offa me!” Jack bellowed, flailing around in an attempt to get his feet back on the floor and his hands back on Jared.
“Thank God,” Jared groaned and hurried to scoot out of the booth. He moved around behind Jensen just as Jack finally managed to kick free.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, asshole!” Jack demanded, whirling on Jensen with a fist raised which immediately dropped once his gaze landed on Jared hiding behind Jensen. “Come on, Jay. Let’s just go home. Tell this fucker to back off and leave us alone.”
Jensen had himself planted between Jared and his ex; the look on his face was enough to express the fact that he wasn't moving. He was half temped to bust this asshole in the head with a beer bottle, truth be told. "No, see you don't seem to understand how it’s going to work, you piece of shit," Jensen snapped. "You’re the one that is uninvited here. I don't know how many times you have to be told, so let me spell it out a little clearer for you; keep your fucking hands to yourself or I will personally break every one of your Goddamn fingers."
Jared curled his fingers in the back of Jensen’s shirt and shuffled a bit to the side so that he wouldn’t be in the way should fists start flying. Jack, however, didn’t seem to pay the slightest bit of attention to Jensen and fixed his gaze firmly on Jared over Jensen’s shoulder.
“Tell him, Jay. Tell him right fucking now to get the fuck out of the way,” Jack demanded, his glare hard and pissed off.
“No,” Jared murmured, barely loud enough for Jensen to hear, much less Jack. He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on Jensen’s shirt. “No, Jack. Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone or I’ll stand back and watch Jensen rip off your dick and feed it to you.”
Jack’s face turned nearly magenta with rage but his voice was cool and calm when he spoke. “I’m letting it slide this once, but if you ever disobey me again I’ll make sure that your ass is so fucking sore you won’t sit down for a month.” With that, he stalked off, shoving people out of his way as he made for the door.
At some point Jensen was just going to just have to kill Jack, seriously. He hated very few people but this guy was on top of a very short list. He decided they had to do something to keep Jack away from Jared because obviously the guy wasn't going to stop. As Jack walked away, Jensen made a face. "Christ, what kind of relationship did you two have anyway?" he asked, confused, but not really expecting an answer. He turned to face Jared and look him over, wrapping his arms around him protectively. "Are you okay?"
“Yeah, I’m good, Jen,” Jared replied with a wisp of a smile, fragile as a smoke ring. “I think I’m just going to head home and get cleaned up, go to bed early, you know?” He dropped his forehead onto Jensen’s shoulder and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down. “It took a lot of effort not to snap-to and just do what he said. We’d been together a long time and I’m used to doing what he says, or, I was. I’m glad you were here, you kept me from fucking up.”
Jensen allowed a slow smile to creep over his face. Jensen took a deep breath and nodded his head. "Yeah, I know how that goes." He pulled away to look Jared in the eyes. "You told him you were going to let me rip his dick off, though. That’s definitely a step in the right direction." His hands came to rest of Jared's waist. "I'll get my keys and give you ride," he said before a small smile found its way onto his lips. "I'll even tuck you in."
“Hey, Jen?” Jared shifted and fidgeted, looking down at his feet as he chewed on his lip, debating over whether or not to continue, and then he shook his head. “Thank you. For, you know, helping me,” he said instead and lifted his head just enough to give Jensen a small, grateful smile.
Jensen shrugged. "No need for thanks, Jared. I’d do anything for you, you know that," he said as he cupped the side of Jared's face while they spoke. By this point, Jensen seemed to spend almost every waking moment with Jared and the friendship and bond that the two shared had only gotten stronger since they first met.
Jared nodded and his small smile grew just a little wider. “Come on, I wanna cuddle,” he said, gripping Jensen’s hand tight and tugging him toward the bar. “And you, my wonderful prince, are prime real estate for cuddling.”
"Aw, Princess, you always make such great offers." Jensen laughed as they walked to the bar so he could get his keys and get ready to leave. He told Jamie he was heading out once he was there, more than ready to call it quits for the night. Once he was ready to go, he headed back to the other side of the bar to meet back up with Jared and to leave.
“I was serious, you know,” Jared said casually as they strolled out of the bar and out into the balmy night air. “I don’t think I can handle sex tonight, but I could really do with some hardcore cuddling. If you can’t stay, though, I’m sure I can kidnap Misha and make him my cuddle-bitch for the night. He might even think it’s funny since I’m pretty sure that Terry would sit in the hallway and cry.”
Jensen shook his head and put his arm around Jared as they walked. "Jared, I don't need sex to get me to stay with you, you should know that by now. I'm perfectly happy spooning with you all night." He actually loved cuddling with Jared and the thought of Misha or Terry in bed with Jared made Jensen see red, but he swallowed it down and ignored it. Jensen never felt so close to another person than he did when he was with Jared; it was nice to be so close to someone for once.
“And that’s why you’re my prince; you face down terrors that would send lesser men fleeing in horror,” Jared teased, but he breathed a bit easier knowing that he could depend on Jensen holding him close that night. It made Jared love him just that much more. He was still a bit shaken after the confrontation with Jack, and he wasn’t sure he’d sleep if he had to do it alone.
There wasn't anything that Jensen wouldn't do for Jared; he honestly and truly loved Jared. He was Jensen’s best and most trusted friend. As they headed out to find Jensen’s car, Jensen stretched a little, glad the night was over and even more glad that he had gone looking for Jared when he had. "Yeah, I'm just awesome like that," he joked as he rolled his eyes and unlocked his car doors to let them both in.
“And modest to boot,” Jared teased and got into the car, swinging his feet in daintily so that his skirt wouldn’t ride up even more than it already had. He closed the door and relaxed back into the seat, sighing as he let some of the stress Jack had inflicted on him fade.
As Jensen started up the car, he couldn't help but grin and laugh softly. The trip back to Jared’s place was short now, without the rush that had spurred them the first night Jared had performed. "You know, you were hot tonight; seriously, your show keeps getting better every night you perform," he said as they started down Jared's street.
Jared’s cheeks went bright red under Jensen’s praise and he ducked his head shyly. “You’re just saying that because you get to come home with me afterwards,” he joked, shaking his head. “I sucked out there tonight, though. Jack kept making really fucking lewd comments and I fucked up a couple of times. I’ll make it up tomorrow and try to do better, though.”
They were nearing Jared’s place and Jensen shook his head. "I would come home with you even if I wasn't kissing your ass. And you did not suck; you never suck. I mean, I swear to God if I…" he stopped and shook off the comment he was about to make. "Seriously, Jared, we were always packed before but we never had to close the doors and deny people entrance into the club. Not before you got there, anyway."
The flush in Jared’s cheeks darkened and traveled down his neck, seeping beneath the neckline of his white, ultra-short dress. “Dude, stop embarrassing me,” he grumbled despite the small smile bowing his lips. “Thank you, though,” he finished softly, peeking at Jensen from the corner of his eye. “It’s a nice compliment.”
Jensen smirked, he couldn't help it. He liked making Jared blush. Jared was adorable when he blushed and got embarrassed. Jensen shifted a bit as they pulled up in front of Jared's house and he parked the car. "Okay, I'll behave for the rest of the night," he teased as he got out of the car.
Jared just shook his head, chuckling as he got out of the car and led the way up the steps and into the house. Misha and Terry had apparently called it an early night because they weren’t in the living room when Jared looked for them. “Looks like it’s a good idea that we decided to have a quiet night. I think Misha and Terry are asleep.”
No sooner than the words got out of Jared’s mouth, than Terry’s voice rang out, high and desperate and most definitely not asleep. Misha’s voice was softer, but still loud and spouting filth. “Uh,” Jared stammered. “I have earplugs?”
Jensen made a face. The sounds of Misha and Terry fucking had never been something he thought he would find himself getting used to. "I'll live," he joked as he followed Jared. "We can just play music and drown them out until they… wear themselves out."
Once in Jared’s room with the door firmly shut, Jared made a beeline to the small stereo on top of his dresser. “Misha said he was planning to show Terry what Tantric sex was like this week.” He wrinkled his nose and carefully pulled the wig off, situating it on the dummy head beside the stereo and his hairnet following a moment later. “I guess that’s what they’re doing. So, music and possibly earplugs for the night. Usually I might suggest being louder than them, but I’m still kinda off balance after Jack showed up.”
Jared peeled the dress up and over his head, tossing it to the laundry basket, followed by the white thong and lacy bra set he’d worn for the show, his jelly breasts plunked down on the dresser with his wig. “Are you hungry or thirsty?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at Jensen, hair sweat damp and curling around his head, messy and tussled, while he pulled on a clean pair of boxers. “I’ve got to brave the noise so I can wash this stuff off my face, so I can get you something if you want it.”
Jensen smirked as he sat down on Jared's bed. But, the reminder of Jack made him frown, unsure what they could do to keep Jack away other than locking him in a cage somewhere. But, Jensen was pretty sure someone would find him, so that was out. "Yeah well, maybe if I'm your personal bodyguard it’ll scare him away." He didn't think he was that scary but he could play it off right? He kicked he shoes off and nodded. "A beer, please?" he asked as he settled back, a little tired and glad to be home. Or well, kind of home anyway.
“You’re already my personal bodyguard, Jen,” Jared teased and left the room to wash his face and get them each a beer. Dealing with Jack, even for such a short time, was draining and beer was definitely a must-have.
In the hallway, Terry and Misha’s voices were even louder, reverberating in the enclosed space, and Jared hurried into the bathroom, cursing under his breath about horny roommates and sex-obsessed roommate boyfriends. He washed quickly, scrubbing at the mascara that stubbornly stuck to his skin, and then hurried from the bathroom to the kitchen, fetching beers, before all but racing back into his room. “Fucking fuck. Those two fuck like rabbits,” he complained and flopped onto the bed beside Jensen and handed over a beer.
Jensen had moved up to the head of the end and was lying back, having stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt. "Thank you." He took his beer and rolled his eyes, popping it open. "That's what happens when you have a daily diet of E," he joked and took a mouthful of his beer, putting his arm around Jared to hold him close as they talked. He knew how Jared could get after Jack made an appearance and he just wanted his friend comfortable and relaxed. By now, touching Jared, being affectionate with him, whether in private or in public, had become pretty much second nature. So much so that he didn't even notice it when he reached for his friend or Jared put his arm around him.
“I seem to remember a pretty wild night with you after a dose of E, too,” Jared teased and snuggled up to Jensen’s side, comfortable and relaxed, his beer open and braced on Jensen’s belly. “But, what did you mean before, about the bodyguard thing?”
Jensen grinned, that night still was well planted in his mind. He looked back at Jared, confused a moment before he shrugged again. "I didn't mean anything. You said that you were kind of on edge because of Jack. I mean, he seems like a pussy so I'm assuming if I was glued to your side he may get the hint and bug off."
Jared laughed softly and leaned his head on Jensen’s shoulder. “He’s not very smart about things like that. Actually, he’s kind of a lot possessive and a little scary when he doesn’t get his way. If he keeps seeing you with me, I don’t know how he’ll react.”
"I can take that little fuck easy." Jensen really wasn't the type to hide from anyone, most of all someone who was smaller than him and didn't at all seem the type who could fight. He reached up and rubbed Jared's back as he put his head back. "Max was like that, could do a lot of talking but unless you let them get to you, talking is about the only thing they can do." Some people had that power over another, though, but only because they let them have it.
For a long moment, Jared didn’t say anything. He just sipped his beer and cuddled with Jensen, enjoying the chance to just cuddle without it having been either a result or precursor to sex. It was different, better in some ways but the same in others, than post-orgasmic cuddling. Still, he couldn’t really relax completely. He had a question, but had to decide the best way to ask it without startling Jensen into leaving. “Who’s Max? Have I met him?” he asked casually, taking another sip of his beer and draping a leg over Jensen’s.
Jensen shifted a little to cuddle closer to Jared. He pressed his lips together at the question and shrugged. Jared knew that Jensen had a boyfriend that screwed with his head but Jensen hadn't really gone into the whole story. "No, I knew him when I was back in Tampa, before I moved here. He was the one bad relationship." He shrugged. "Kind of a long and embarrassing story," he confessed.
“Oh, okay. I just didn’t know the name.” Jared pressed a kiss into Jensen’s tee-shirt clad shoulder and then drained the rest of his beer and set the empty on the bedside table before curling back up with Jensen, an arm draped over his belly. “Jack was a lot of talk, but he’s sort of into the BDSM scene and he wasn’t about to be the one to take an ass whipping, if you know what I mean. He likes the pain, but he can’t let someone else have control over him, so, I was kind of left with no choice but to be submissive. It’s really hard to disobey your master, even if he’s not anymore, you know?”
Jensen bit his bottom lip. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he agreed and nodded his head, turning to rub a hand down Jared's side. "Control seems to be a big thing in kink." He shrugged with a frown. "That kind of thing can be amazing, though, as long as you don't belong to a dick."
“It wasn’t ever really my thing. Some of it was fun, but I’m the kind of guy that likes to switch things up, you know? Dressing in drag and fucking behind a bar, or blowing a guy in an elevator, or having sex in the ocean, or jerking off a hot guy in front of a tattoo parlor-I like exhibitionism, but I don’t like being dragged down the beach on my hands and knees like I’m a freaking dog.” Jared tipped his head up and pressed a kiss to Jensen’s chin.
Smiling at the memory of the tattoo parlor, Jensen looked back to Jared. "The shit you put up with for the people you love, right? I love that kind of stuff but I would never push someone into it. I mean, kink is to get both parties off, not to just be one sided. That's what turned me off to relationships," he explained. "Someone always has the upper hand, you know? Always some kind of control over their boyfriend, and not just for a scene or a kink, but in day to day life." It was depressing.
“Relationships aren’t supposed to be like that, though.” Jared rolled so that he was half lying on Jensen’s chest. “I mean, look at how you and I do things in the bedroom, okay? We’re just friends and we’re comfortable with each other enough that we can sleep together and it’s not a big deal. Some nights you get to have control, and other nights I do. That’s how a relationship should work, in my opinion. Well, maybe a bit more romantic and holding hands, but that’s just a personal preference.” Jared smiled softly, eyes sad but understanding. “I think if you ever decided to try a boyfriend again, you should find someone that will agree to sharing control, someone you could joke around with in the middle of sex and not have it ruin the mood. I’d be happy for you if you could find that.”
Jared painted a nice picture but Jensen couldn't get hurt again. He couldn't take the lies and the heartbreak. Jared was strong; he was able to pick himself up and want to love again though Jack had really hurt him. Jensen didn't think highly enough of himself to think he would find that or that deserved it. He took a deep breath and nodded his head. "I don't think I’m built for that kind of happiness," he said softly. "Anyone that good wouldn't want someone like me." He bit his bottom lip. "I know you want to fall in love again, but do you ever worry that you might end up with someone like Jack again?"
“Yeah, I worry about that sometimes,” Jared agreed and laid his head on Jensen’s chest, listening to the steady thud of his heartbeat. “But, I already know that I’m never going to have something special, so I’ll just look for comfortable instead. You, though, you could have anything you want. You’re an amazing guy, Jen, and you deserve to have an epic romance. I’ll even cheer for you at the sidelines.”
"Me?" Jensen rolled his eyes and laughed softly. "I'm selfish, stubborn and…." he trailed off, shrugged, frowned. "Jared, don't be stupid. You’re so beautiful and you’re everything that any man could want. You're going to find someone who will love you and take care of you, treat you like you should be treated. Why would you think you aren't going to have something special?"
The radio played softly, muffling the marathon sex going on across the hallway. Jared tapped his fingers to the beat absently, rolling over options in his head. “I’m kind of pining after someone that doesn’t look at me and see me as an option, and I’m content to just deal with it, love him from afar. I want him to be happy, and I know I’m not the one that could make him happy so I haven’t said anything. I won’t, either, so don’t think you can bully me into telling him,” he teased, tone light and content and only the slightest bit wistful. “Besides, I know you and you’d want to beat him in the head until he saw reason and that’s just not an option.”
Jensen's mouth went dry; Jared was in love with someone? He pressed his lips together and tried not to let that bother him or even admit that it was eating at him. "Do I at least get to know who he is?" he asked, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "You deserve so much better than that, Jared." He deserved more than Jensen a few times week, trying to lay claim to him. That was wrong of him and Jensen knew that. He really was a bad person and it made his heart sink.
“No, I really don’t deserve anything more than what I’ve already got. I’m happy with what I have. It could be better, sure, but I know better than to think that he’s going to wake up one day and think ‘Holy fuck, I’m desperately in love with Jared’ and then run over here to declare his undying love. Real life doesn’t work like that. Yeah, I love him but he will never love me, so I keep going as I have been and don’t think about it too much.” Jared smoothed his hand up and down Jensen’s stomach, trying to soothe the sudden tension in Jensen’s body. “You don’t have to be upset on my behalf, Jen. I knew what I was getting into when I fell for him. It’s my own fault for falling for someone who doesn’t want me like that.”
Jensen closed his eyes and nodded his head, he knew Jared well enough to know that he wasn't going to get through. He wasn't going to make Jared see just how wonderful he was, how amazing and beautiful, smart and talented. He sighed and shook his head as he turned and kissed Jared's temple. "You'll never see in yourself, Jared, what I see in you."
This was way too heavy and Jensen needed to move on before he broke down and confessed to Jared that talking about this other guy was making him sick to his stomach with jealousy. Jensen didn't do jealous. He pressed his lips together again and sighed. "So, enough with the love crap; I got a question for you and you have to promise not to make fun of me when I ask it."
Jared chuckled and nodded against Jensen’s chest. “I won’t make fun of you, I promise. Well, unless you ask me to dress up as a pony so that you can play cowboy. I might have to tease you about that.” He stroked Jensen’s chest and down over his belly, stopping at the waistband only to go right back up and repeat the process all over again.
Shuddering a little, Jensen laughed and shook his head. "Well, that's a kink best left for the next time we're drunk," he laughed, and then looked down at Jared. "My little sister is getting married the first Saturday of next month, and I wanted to know if you would be my date to the wedding. It'll be in Tampa, so we'd have to stay overnight, I guess."
“You wanna take me?” Jared asked, pushing up so that he could look Jensen in the eye. He raised a brow and cocked his head to the side. “I’m not going in drag, am I?” he asked warily, amusement and teasing glinting in his eyes. “I’d do it, you know, but I don’t wanna meet your folks and have them think you’re friends with a creepy cross dresser.” He giggled and wrapped his arms around Jensen again, laying his head on Jen’s chest. “All teasing aside, I’d love to go with you.”
As hot as Jared was in drag, that really wasn't the way he wanted Jared to meet his family. "Nah, I thought I'd be nice and dress you like a boy just this once," he teased back as Jared settled against him again. He wrapped his arms around Jared and held him tightly; he couldn't hide the smile on his face. "Awesome." He looked forward to the wedding all that much more now.
“Are you gonna wear a tux?” Jared asked, grinning against Jensen’s chest, one hand fisted in his shirt. “Because, if you are, I’m definitely going to take pictures to add to my spank bank. We’ll have to get ready at least two hours before the wedding so I can molest you properly and we’ll still have time to shower and get dressed again.”
"Yeah. My mother is making me," Jensen said lamely. There were going to be family pictures and all that crap, plus the fact that he and his older brother were supposed to make a toast or something. That part he was leaving up to Josh, though, and his brother could fill him in ten minutes before hand. That worked for him. "‘Mom, I totally can't wear this tux; Jared got come all over it."
Jared burst out laughing, burying his face in the softness of Jensen’s tee shirt as mirth coursed through him. “I-I promise not to,” he laughed, squeezing Jensen tightly, “make a mess of you, baby.”
When Jared laughed, Jensen couldn't help but join in. He never could help himself. "Baby, you can make a mess of me anytime you want, just remember you may have to deal with my mom."
The laughter slowed and softened and Jared tipped his head back, grinning that megawatt smile, like Jensen had hung the moon and stars and handcrafted the sky to hang them in. “Why do I get the feeling that I’d end up running away from a tiny little woman wielding a wooden spoon if I mess up your tux?” he teased, grin still wide and happy and adoration swimming in his eyes.
"You should have seen her the night I came home drunk from prom," Jensen joked and then sighed. His mom was nuts but he adored her. He knew that she would fall in love with Jared the moment she saw him. She didn't care that her son was gay, but like Ryan she wanted him to settle down. "Nah, my mom would blame me not you, so you'll be safe, I promise."
“It must be nice,” Jared whispered wistfully and then laughed and pushed himself up. He swung a leg over Jensen’s hips and settled astride him, grinning like a fool. “So, why were you lame enough to go home after prom? I mean, it’s prom; it’s kind of expected that you’d stay in a motel room for the night and go home with a hangover the next day, not go home drunk.”
"Got the cops called on us." Jensen shrugged up at Jared. "We were at a beach house but it only lasted about an hour and I ended up calling Ryan to pick me up but he was mean enough to make me go home to deal with my parents." That was certainly not one of his finest moments. "My date was in the middle of trying to get into my pants too, so I think it was a little better to deal with the cops than a drunken redhead that doesn't understand ‘I prefer dick to chick’."
“You took a redhead chick to prom?” Jared asked, eyes wide and a little surprised. “Wow, I guess I never thought of you trying things out to see which you liked, but I guess everyone can’t have the obvious answer staring them in the face all of their lives.”
Jensen shook his head. "Nah, I’ve known I wasn't into girls since I was thirteen but I was the only gay kid in my high school so," he shrugged, "we all kind of went as a group and those without dates got paired off." Sadly enough he ended up with the only girl who didn't seem to understand that no really could be a final answer.
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I spent my prom night in my room, sleeping.” Jared’s hands moved over Jensen’s chest, head tipped down to watch the stark difference between the bright white of the tee shirt and the dark tan of his hands. “I had the flu.”
"Ouch, that sucks." Jensen ran a hand through Jared's hair. He cleared his throat and relaxed against the bed. Misha and Terry seemed to have shut up for the time being and Jensen smirked. "You think they killed each other?" he joked.
“If they did, I’m not going to check. The last thing I need is to see them buck naked and still buried inside each other.” Jared scooted backward, so his hips straddled Jensen’s upper thighs, and then lay down on top of him, head tucked into the curve of Jensen’s neck. He was silent for a long time, content to just lie there and drown in the affection.
"That is a scary image." Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared, rubbed his hands down his friend's back gently. He licked his lips and took several deep breaths, taking in Jared's scent as his eyes closed. He was so content being with Jared, like this.
“Um, if I tell you something, do you promise not to get pissed off?” Jared murmured, hands fisted in Jensen’s tee shirt. “It’s not something I did, exactly, but-well, I’m kind of used to giving canned responses about certain things.”
Jensen tensed a little, unsure where Jared was going with this one. "Um, okay."
“I didn’t have the flu prom night. I wasn’t in my room sleeping. I was in the woods about three miles from home. My brother,” Jared swallowed, sighed, pressed his face against Jensen’s throat, “um, he didn’t take too kindly to having a fag for a little brother. He was smart enough not to hit me in the face, made sure that no bones were broken, but he kicked the living shit out of me. So, if I give an immediate answer about my family or my school years, it’s probably not really the truth. I’ll tell you the truth when I can, but it’ll take me a minute to prepare myself for it.”
Jensen swallowed hard and his arms wrapped a little tighter around Jared though he didn't even realize he was doing it. His face burned with pure hate and if Jared's brother was within reach he would have murdered him on the spot. "Damn," he mumbled. He didn't understand how someone could do that to their own flesh and blood either. He really didn't know what to say to that because, holy shit. He shook his head. "Your world is just filled with assholes, huh?"
“Nope, I’ve got my Prince Charming to balance out the scales. Because, you know, one prince far outweighs all of the assholes.” Jared tucked his hands under Jensen’s shoulders and let his muscles unwind, release. “You’re my best friend, Jen, and I love you in a way that no one else can touch, so I want you to know things I don’t tell other people. Is, is that okay or should I just stick with the canned responses if my family ever comes up again?”
Jensen blushed and buried his face in Jared's hair. The Prince Charming comments always made his heart swell. He bit his bottom lip and he rolled them over so that Jared was on his back and Jensen could see him eye to eye. "Always be honest with me, baby, even if it’s not something you think I want to hear." He frowned deeply as he looked Jared over. "And… um, I'll be honest with you in return," he said more to himself than to Jared. He moved up a little and planted a kiss on Jared's chest.
“I can’t be completely honest, Jen. A guy’s gotta have some secrets,” Jared teased, though he was thinking back to the brief conversation they’d had earlier when he’d almost confessed to being stupidly in love with Jensen. That was one secret he couldn’t tell. He knew Jensen well enough to know that it would be the last thing he ever got to say to him; Jensen would vanish.
Jensen nodded his head. "Yeah, got to be able to keep some stuff to ourselves," he agreed, because if there was some stuff that Jensen couldn't be honest with himself about how could he ever be honest with Jared about them?
He went a little red as he looked down at Jared's chest. "Know how I said I have issues with relationships because someone always has the upper hand in them?" Jensen fidgeted a little bit and then pushed himself to continue. "Max was the first boyfriend I ever had. He was everything to me, even after he started doing heavy drugs, using our rent money to feed his habit and beating the crap out of me. He cheated on me and I just dealt with it, ignored it because I loved him that much-I had to be good enough, you know?" He shrugged. "I never told anyone all that. I just want you to know that I trust you as much as you trust me, more than I've ever trusted anyone."
“Okay, okay; I’m not the kind of guy that gets pissed off and threatens people I’ve never met, but if I were to ever meet Max, I’m telling you now that no one would ever find the body.” Jared’s eyes were stern and angry, but the anger wasn’t directed at Jensen, it was for him. “I don’t know why he turned to drugs and it’s not my business to know, but whatever the reason, it didn’t give him the right to hurt you. He might’ve been a great guy, had to be if you loved him, but once he got on the drugs, you weren’t dating him anymore. You were ‘the other man’ in his relationship with his drug of choice. Because that’s exactly what addiction is like; nothing matters except for getting a chance at his next hit, his next fix. He’d literally do anything to get more, because the addiction is pretty similar to falling in love; it’s heady and exciting and all-consuming and every thought is spending time with your sweetheart, you ignore friends and miss a couple of phone calls and other things don’t really seem that important.”
Jared paused, bit his lower lip, and dragged Jensen in tight. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Jen. I wish Max had never touched drugs and that you’d gotten to have a happily ever after with your prince. I wouldn’t have met you, but you would have been happy and loved instead of hurting.”
Jensen’s eyes widened a little as he looked at Jared and shook his head. "Baby, calm down a little; it happened forever ago." He shook his head again and bit his bottom lip. He knew that Jared was right though, someone who got that deep into drugs, they changed. Everything about them changed, it was sad and it was scary but it was also reality. "Jared, you are the best thing to happen in my life in a very long time." Even if Jared loved someone else, even if, at some point, Jared found his happy ever after and Jensen just became a thing of the past, Jared made him happy. "I mean, to have a friend like you, I would deal with ten guys like Max." Even more now that Jensen knew how to deal with a person like that. "I say we go on a spree; I'll kill your brother and Jack and you can kill Max. They'll never tie us to the murders."
“Nah, I’ll just console myself with cuddling you for eternity,” Jared teased. “Besides, my brother is even taller and bigger than I am, and Jack’s not worth the effort.”
"I would totally be okay with risking an ass beating to defend you." Jensen laughed and rolled his eyes as he moved to lie on his back again. He reached over and pulled Jared onto his chest to hold him. "As you will see tomorrow if Jack decides to show his face at the bar again." Though, Jensen was more than positive that he could kick the living shit out of Jack without even breaking a sweat.
“Jen, really, it’s okay.” Jared curled up at Jensen’s side, head pillowed on a freckled shoulder, and lazily traced invisible designs over Jensen’s soft belly. “I’m more than okay to have you as my cuddle victim, and Jack is ancient history.”
Jensen buried his face in Jared's hair and sighed gently. He couldn't help it, he got nasty when someone tried to hurt Jared or made his friend unhappy. He bit his bottom lip and nodded his head. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the affection as he settled, Jared's warmth making his body relax further. He just nodded his head and rubbed his hand up and down Jared's back. "Cuddle victim," he repeated. "That's a new one."
“You’re being cuddle raped, so you’re a cuddle victim,” Jared said nonchalantly but turned his face against Jensen’s chest to hide his grin. His shoulders shook with silent mirth, unable to keep all of the laughter subdued.
Jensen laughed until his cheeks went slightly pink from it. "Wow, so I should have you arrested," he joked. Though he guessed in this, it was the one time where they could claim the victim totally asked for it.
“Well, maybe not rape. You’re pretty willing, so maybe just consensual cuddle molestation.” Jared tipped his head up and the wide, deeply amused grin he wore shone brightly, stretching his lips wide and dimpling his cheeks. “God, you’re amazing, you know that? Never had a friend like you before; letting me cuddle and snuggle and cling to you.”
Jensen loved Jared's smile, it always caught him off guard just how beautiful it was. He lost himself sometimes, just watching Jared. Jensen shook his head and rolled his eyes again. "Yeah, I'm up there with sliced bread," he mocked teasingly. "Seriously though; I like spending cuddle time with you." He certainly enjoyed sleeping here with Jared or having Jared in his bed much more than sleeping without his friend next to him.
Jared leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to Jensen’s mouth, happy and affectionate and content to simply be with Jensen. “You know,” he said, breaking the kiss and leaning back just enough so that he could see his friend’s face. “I’ve got you all figured out now. That badass attitude is a total façade to hide your mushy center.”
Jensen looked back at Jared and shrugged a little. Jared did tend to see a side of Jensen that he didn't share with anyone else. One might wonder why the hell Jensen had such a stick up his ass about being honest about his feelings. The truth was he thought he was keeping Jared at a safe distance, even though it was a pretty stupid and unrealistic thought on Jensen's part. "I have my badass moments," he protested. "It's hard not to just be me around you, though. You do realize, however, that now that you know my very well thought out and devious plan that I'm going to have to kill you."
Playfulness lit Jared’s eyes and his grin widened for a moment before morphing into a mock-frightened look as he rolled away from Jensen, ready to play hard to get. “Oh no!” he cried out in mock-fear, laughter in his voice. “My dear, sweet prince has gone mad and is out to get me!”
Jensen rolled after him and dragged Jared back into his chest. "Oh no, my princess, you are my cuddle whore for the night," he teased as his hand brushed against Jared's side. By now he knew where Jared was ticklish and he would totally use it against his friend.
Jared gasped and rolled his hips back into Jensen’s hips, trying to wriggle away from the faint brushes of fingers at his sides. He grasped the side of the bed and tugged, pushing back against Jensen with his hips to put distance between them. “Hey! No fair!” he yelped, tangling his legs with Jensen’s and trying to use his longer legs to his advantage.
Jensen pushed himself up and half laid on top of Jared. "All is fair in love and war, baby," he answered as he caught Jared's mouth with his own and kissed him deeply, trying to daze him a moment. He smiled into the kiss; Jared made him happier than he could ever remember and it amazed him. He pulled back a little and then grabbed Jared's side again to start the tickling all over again.
Loud shrieks of laughter burst out of Jared’s mouth and he bucked hard, wriggling and squirming under Jensen’s wickedly accurate fingers, trying to get away. “J-Jen! I-haha-I’m gonna b-beat your a-hahaha-gonna beat your ass!” Jared let go of the side of the bed with one hand and reached back, gripping a handful of Jensen’s hip, shoving at him weakly to get him to stop. “U-uncle!”
A wide grin spread over Jensen's face as Jared gave in. He pulled himself up and then flopped back down onto the bed as green eyes looked back over Jared. "I know you so well," he said as he bit his lip, teasing his friend. He turned a little so he was on his side and reached up to brush his fingers over Jared's cheek. "You’re so cute when you laugh."
Laughter flushed cheeks pinked further, mouth stretched in a wide smile. Jared rolled and pinned Jensen beneath him, elbows bracketing Jensen’s head on the pillows, and just grinned down at him. “I guess it’s a good thing that you like it, because you make me laugh unlike anyone else ever has.” Jared’s smile slowly lost wattage, dimming down to something that looked scarily like adoration and deep affection; he looked happy, with just the slightest tinge of sadness around the eyes. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Jen.”
Jensen looked up at Jared, a similar look in his eyes. It was reality to Jensen that he was very much in love with Jared, that Jared really had become his world; a long process but true, nonetheless. He bit his bottom lip and his hands came up to cup Jared's cheeks, bringing him down for a kiss. He smiled as they parted. No matter what fuck ups they had dealt with in the past, it brought them to moments like this and, oddly enough, at times like this Jensen couldn't remember the pain and heartache of Max because it didn't really matter. "I feel the same way."
Jared grinned wider as his eyes slid closed, shaking his head. “If we keep talking like this, one of us is going to grow a pair of tits and cock will magically turn into vagina,” he teased, needing to relax the suddenly too serious moment. Still, Jared settled down, perfectly content to use Jensen as his personal body pillow, and tucked his face into Jensen’s neck to stall the words that teetered on the tip of his tongue. He was positive that voicing how he really felt would end it all, and he was too selfish to give Jensen up.
Jensen nodded his head and laughed. "Well, out of the two of us, which one has the pink dress?" he teased as he kissed Jared's hair and wrapped his arms tightly around him, almost possessively, protectively. "I think we both need to sleep; you agree?"
“Yeah, we should sleep,” Jared murmured, snuffling into Jensen’s neck for a moment. “I’m gonna break your spine if I keep lying on you like this, though. You get to be the little spoon tonight,” he stated and pressed soft kisses to the curve of Jensen’s jaw, just showing affection instead of trying to rile Jensen up.
Jensen smiled and shifted a little. "What a way to go, though." He sighed and moved a little, tangled with Jared comfortable. "Night."
Chapter Eight
*******************************
~*~
Over the weeks that followed, Jared’s closet filled with a wide variety of women’s clothing. All of it was showy and decadent and showed far more than just a few hints of skin. Friday through Sunday saw Jared dancing two shows on stage, which was always followed up by spending the night wrapped up in Jensen’s arms, well-fucked and satisfied.
It was Saturday night while Jared was dancing that a familiar and much hated voice rose up out of the crowd. “Knew you were a slut, Jay!” or “Show daddy what you’ve got!” setting Jared’s teeth on edge.
Jack hadn’t really been around much since the impromptu crashing of Jared’s weekly beach party, but when he was present, he was always a dick. Jared finished up his set and hurried off the stage, hoping that Jack would be gone by the time he emerged from backstage.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be.
No sooner than Jared had stepped out than Jack was right up in his face. “Hey, baby, wanna take a ride?” he purred, sliding his hands down Jared’s hips to grip his ass.
“Fuck off, Jack,” Jared growled and shoved at Jack’s arms, neatly stepping past him and striding determinedly toward the bar. Though Jared was a big guy and could defend himself, he liked letting Jensen do it when he could, and he knew Jensen already hated Jack so he’d get a kick out of busting his balls in public.
“I don’t think so, babydoll,” Jack snarled and gripped Jared’s arm, dragging him around to a booth and shoving him into it, following closely and crowding Jared up against the back of the booth. “You’re going to stay right here and be a good boy for daddy.”
Jared bared his teeth and shoved at Jack, and even though the guy was built small, he was solid and had a decent amount of muscle hiding under his clothes. Jack didn’t even budge. “Get. The fuck. Away from me, asshole!” he growled, shoving again but still not managing to dislodge Jack from his side.
Jensen was at the bar as per usual, mixing drinks and making tips. He watched Jared on stage and as always found himself hard with his eyes glued to his best friend as he moved across the stage. Generally Jensen behaved himself when other men would grab and tug on Jared; that was part of his reason for being here. Jack, however, was another matter altogether. Lucky for Jack, so far Jensen hadn't seen him yet and was too busy to really be on the lookout for Jared just yet.
As the minutes ticked by, though, Jensen became strongly aware of the fact that Jared hadn't come to the bar after his set was over with. He frowned and looked around a minute, telling one of the other boys that he would be back shortly. Heading back towards the stage, Jensen caught sight of Jared shoving off some guy in a booth towards the back. He didn't stop, he didn't even think, he reached them in less than two seconds flat, his hands twisting in the back of the guy’s shirt as he dragged him off and away from Jared, not yet taking notice as to who he had in his grasp.
“Get the fucking fuck offa me!” Jack bellowed, flailing around in an attempt to get his feet back on the floor and his hands back on Jared.
“Thank God,” Jared groaned and hurried to scoot out of the booth. He moved around behind Jensen just as Jack finally managed to kick free.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, asshole!” Jack demanded, whirling on Jensen with a fist raised which immediately dropped once his gaze landed on Jared hiding behind Jensen. “Come on, Jay. Let’s just go home. Tell this fucker to back off and leave us alone.”
Jensen had himself planted between Jared and his ex; the look on his face was enough to express the fact that he wasn't moving. He was half temped to bust this asshole in the head with a beer bottle, truth be told. "No, see you don't seem to understand how it’s going to work, you piece of shit," Jensen snapped. "You’re the one that is uninvited here. I don't know how many times you have to be told, so let me spell it out a little clearer for you; keep your fucking hands to yourself or I will personally break every one of your Goddamn fingers."
Jared curled his fingers in the back of Jensen’s shirt and shuffled a bit to the side so that he wouldn’t be in the way should fists start flying. Jack, however, didn’t seem to pay the slightest bit of attention to Jensen and fixed his gaze firmly on Jared over Jensen’s shoulder.
“Tell him, Jay. Tell him right fucking now to get the fuck out of the way,” Jack demanded, his glare hard and pissed off.
“No,” Jared murmured, barely loud enough for Jensen to hear, much less Jack. He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on Jensen’s shirt. “No, Jack. Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone or I’ll stand back and watch Jensen rip off your dick and feed it to you.”
Jack’s face turned nearly magenta with rage but his voice was cool and calm when he spoke. “I’m letting it slide this once, but if you ever disobey me again I’ll make sure that your ass is so fucking sore you won’t sit down for a month.” With that, he stalked off, shoving people out of his way as he made for the door.
At some point Jensen was just going to just have to kill Jack, seriously. He hated very few people but this guy was on top of a very short list. He decided they had to do something to keep Jack away from Jared because obviously the guy wasn't going to stop. As Jack walked away, Jensen made a face. "Christ, what kind of relationship did you two have anyway?" he asked, confused, but not really expecting an answer. He turned to face Jared and look him over, wrapping his arms around him protectively. "Are you okay?"
“Yeah, I’m good, Jen,” Jared replied with a wisp of a smile, fragile as a smoke ring. “I think I’m just going to head home and get cleaned up, go to bed early, you know?” He dropped his forehead onto Jensen’s shoulder and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down. “It took a lot of effort not to snap-to and just do what he said. We’d been together a long time and I’m used to doing what he says, or, I was. I’m glad you were here, you kept me from fucking up.”
Jensen allowed a slow smile to creep over his face. Jensen took a deep breath and nodded his head. "Yeah, I know how that goes." He pulled away to look Jared in the eyes. "You told him you were going to let me rip his dick off, though. That’s definitely a step in the right direction." His hands came to rest of Jared's waist. "I'll get my keys and give you ride," he said before a small smile found its way onto his lips. "I'll even tuck you in."
“Hey, Jen?” Jared shifted and fidgeted, looking down at his feet as he chewed on his lip, debating over whether or not to continue, and then he shook his head. “Thank you. For, you know, helping me,” he said instead and lifted his head just enough to give Jensen a small, grateful smile.
Jensen shrugged. "No need for thanks, Jared. I’d do anything for you, you know that," he said as he cupped the side of Jared's face while they spoke. By this point, Jensen seemed to spend almost every waking moment with Jared and the friendship and bond that the two shared had only gotten stronger since they first met.
Jared nodded and his small smile grew just a little wider. “Come on, I wanna cuddle,” he said, gripping Jensen’s hand tight and tugging him toward the bar. “And you, my wonderful prince, are prime real estate for cuddling.”
"Aw, Princess, you always make such great offers." Jensen laughed as they walked to the bar so he could get his keys and get ready to leave. He told Jamie he was heading out once he was there, more than ready to call it quits for the night. Once he was ready to go, he headed back to the other side of the bar to meet back up with Jared and to leave.
“I was serious, you know,” Jared said casually as they strolled out of the bar and out into the balmy night air. “I don’t think I can handle sex tonight, but I could really do with some hardcore cuddling. If you can’t stay, though, I’m sure I can kidnap Misha and make him my cuddle-bitch for the night. He might even think it’s funny since I’m pretty sure that Terry would sit in the hallway and cry.”
Jensen shook his head and put his arm around Jared as they walked. "Jared, I don't need sex to get me to stay with you, you should know that by now. I'm perfectly happy spooning with you all night." He actually loved cuddling with Jared and the thought of Misha or Terry in bed with Jared made Jensen see red, but he swallowed it down and ignored it. Jensen never felt so close to another person than he did when he was with Jared; it was nice to be so close to someone for once.
“And that’s why you’re my prince; you face down terrors that would send lesser men fleeing in horror,” Jared teased, but he breathed a bit easier knowing that he could depend on Jensen holding him close that night. It made Jared love him just that much more. He was still a bit shaken after the confrontation with Jack, and he wasn’t sure he’d sleep if he had to do it alone.
There wasn't anything that Jensen wouldn't do for Jared; he honestly and truly loved Jared. He was Jensen’s best and most trusted friend. As they headed out to find Jensen’s car, Jensen stretched a little, glad the night was over and even more glad that he had gone looking for Jared when he had. "Yeah, I'm just awesome like that," he joked as he rolled his eyes and unlocked his car doors to let them both in.
“And modest to boot,” Jared teased and got into the car, swinging his feet in daintily so that his skirt wouldn’t ride up even more than it already had. He closed the door and relaxed back into the seat, sighing as he let some of the stress Jack had inflicted on him fade.
As Jensen started up the car, he couldn't help but grin and laugh softly. The trip back to Jared’s place was short now, without the rush that had spurred them the first night Jared had performed. "You know, you were hot tonight; seriously, your show keeps getting better every night you perform," he said as they started down Jared's street.
Jared’s cheeks went bright red under Jensen’s praise and he ducked his head shyly. “You’re just saying that because you get to come home with me afterwards,” he joked, shaking his head. “I sucked out there tonight, though. Jack kept making really fucking lewd comments and I fucked up a couple of times. I’ll make it up tomorrow and try to do better, though.”
They were nearing Jared’s place and Jensen shook his head. "I would come home with you even if I wasn't kissing your ass. And you did not suck; you never suck. I mean, I swear to God if I…" he stopped and shook off the comment he was about to make. "Seriously, Jared, we were always packed before but we never had to close the doors and deny people entrance into the club. Not before you got there, anyway."
The flush in Jared’s cheeks darkened and traveled down his neck, seeping beneath the neckline of his white, ultra-short dress. “Dude, stop embarrassing me,” he grumbled despite the small smile bowing his lips. “Thank you, though,” he finished softly, peeking at Jensen from the corner of his eye. “It’s a nice compliment.”
Jensen smirked, he couldn't help it. He liked making Jared blush. Jared was adorable when he blushed and got embarrassed. Jensen shifted a bit as they pulled up in front of Jared's house and he parked the car. "Okay, I'll behave for the rest of the night," he teased as he got out of the car.
Jared just shook his head, chuckling as he got out of the car and led the way up the steps and into the house. Misha and Terry had apparently called it an early night because they weren’t in the living room when Jared looked for them. “Looks like it’s a good idea that we decided to have a quiet night. I think Misha and Terry are asleep.”
No sooner than the words got out of Jared’s mouth, than Terry’s voice rang out, high and desperate and most definitely not asleep. Misha’s voice was softer, but still loud and spouting filth. “Uh,” Jared stammered. “I have earplugs?”
Jensen made a face. The sounds of Misha and Terry fucking had never been something he thought he would find himself getting used to. "I'll live," he joked as he followed Jared. "We can just play music and drown them out until they… wear themselves out."
Once in Jared’s room with the door firmly shut, Jared made a beeline to the small stereo on top of his dresser. “Misha said he was planning to show Terry what Tantric sex was like this week.” He wrinkled his nose and carefully pulled the wig off, situating it on the dummy head beside the stereo and his hairnet following a moment later. “I guess that’s what they’re doing. So, music and possibly earplugs for the night. Usually I might suggest being louder than them, but I’m still kinda off balance after Jack showed up.”
Jared peeled the dress up and over his head, tossing it to the laundry basket, followed by the white thong and lacy bra set he’d worn for the show, his jelly breasts plunked down on the dresser with his wig. “Are you hungry or thirsty?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at Jensen, hair sweat damp and curling around his head, messy and tussled, while he pulled on a clean pair of boxers. “I’ve got to brave the noise so I can wash this stuff off my face, so I can get you something if you want it.”
Jensen smirked as he sat down on Jared's bed. But, the reminder of Jack made him frown, unsure what they could do to keep Jack away other than locking him in a cage somewhere. But, Jensen was pretty sure someone would find him, so that was out. "Yeah well, maybe if I'm your personal bodyguard it’ll scare him away." He didn't think he was that scary but he could play it off right? He kicked he shoes off and nodded. "A beer, please?" he asked as he settled back, a little tired and glad to be home. Or well, kind of home anyway.
“You’re already my personal bodyguard, Jen,” Jared teased and left the room to wash his face and get them each a beer. Dealing with Jack, even for such a short time, was draining and beer was definitely a must-have.
In the hallway, Terry and Misha’s voices were even louder, reverberating in the enclosed space, and Jared hurried into the bathroom, cursing under his breath about horny roommates and sex-obsessed roommate boyfriends. He washed quickly, scrubbing at the mascara that stubbornly stuck to his skin, and then hurried from the bathroom to the kitchen, fetching beers, before all but racing back into his room. “Fucking fuck. Those two fuck like rabbits,” he complained and flopped onto the bed beside Jensen and handed over a beer.
Jensen had moved up to the head of the end and was lying back, having stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt. "Thank you." He took his beer and rolled his eyes, popping it open. "That's what happens when you have a daily diet of E," he joked and took a mouthful of his beer, putting his arm around Jared to hold him close as they talked. He knew how Jared could get after Jack made an appearance and he just wanted his friend comfortable and relaxed. By now, touching Jared, being affectionate with him, whether in private or in public, had become pretty much second nature. So much so that he didn't even notice it when he reached for his friend or Jared put his arm around him.
“I seem to remember a pretty wild night with you after a dose of E, too,” Jared teased and snuggled up to Jensen’s side, comfortable and relaxed, his beer open and braced on Jensen’s belly. “But, what did you mean before, about the bodyguard thing?”
Jensen grinned, that night still was well planted in his mind. He looked back at Jared, confused a moment before he shrugged again. "I didn't mean anything. You said that you were kind of on edge because of Jack. I mean, he seems like a pussy so I'm assuming if I was glued to your side he may get the hint and bug off."
Jared laughed softly and leaned his head on Jensen’s shoulder. “He’s not very smart about things like that. Actually, he’s kind of a lot possessive and a little scary when he doesn’t get his way. If he keeps seeing you with me, I don’t know how he’ll react.”
"I can take that little fuck easy." Jensen really wasn't the type to hide from anyone, most of all someone who was smaller than him and didn't at all seem the type who could fight. He reached up and rubbed Jared's back as he put his head back. "Max was like that, could do a lot of talking but unless you let them get to you, talking is about the only thing they can do." Some people had that power over another, though, but only because they let them have it.
For a long moment, Jared didn’t say anything. He just sipped his beer and cuddled with Jensen, enjoying the chance to just cuddle without it having been either a result or precursor to sex. It was different, better in some ways but the same in others, than post-orgasmic cuddling. Still, he couldn’t really relax completely. He had a question, but had to decide the best way to ask it without startling Jensen into leaving. “Who’s Max? Have I met him?” he asked casually, taking another sip of his beer and draping a leg over Jensen’s.
Jensen shifted a little to cuddle closer to Jared. He pressed his lips together at the question and shrugged. Jared knew that Jensen had a boyfriend that screwed with his head but Jensen hadn't really gone into the whole story. "No, I knew him when I was back in Tampa, before I moved here. He was the one bad relationship." He shrugged. "Kind of a long and embarrassing story," he confessed.
“Oh, okay. I just didn’t know the name.” Jared pressed a kiss into Jensen’s tee-shirt clad shoulder and then drained the rest of his beer and set the empty on the bedside table before curling back up with Jensen, an arm draped over his belly. “Jack was a lot of talk, but he’s sort of into the BDSM scene and he wasn’t about to be the one to take an ass whipping, if you know what I mean. He likes the pain, but he can’t let someone else have control over him, so, I was kind of left with no choice but to be submissive. It’s really hard to disobey your master, even if he’s not anymore, you know?”
Jensen bit his bottom lip. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he agreed and nodded his head, turning to rub a hand down Jared's side. "Control seems to be a big thing in kink." He shrugged with a frown. "That kind of thing can be amazing, though, as long as you don't belong to a dick."
“It wasn’t ever really my thing. Some of it was fun, but I’m the kind of guy that likes to switch things up, you know? Dressing in drag and fucking behind a bar, or blowing a guy in an elevator, or having sex in the ocean, or jerking off a hot guy in front of a tattoo parlor-I like exhibitionism, but I don’t like being dragged down the beach on my hands and knees like I’m a freaking dog.” Jared tipped his head up and pressed a kiss to Jensen’s chin.
Smiling at the memory of the tattoo parlor, Jensen looked back to Jared. "The shit you put up with for the people you love, right? I love that kind of stuff but I would never push someone into it. I mean, kink is to get both parties off, not to just be one sided. That's what turned me off to relationships," he explained. "Someone always has the upper hand, you know? Always some kind of control over their boyfriend, and not just for a scene or a kink, but in day to day life." It was depressing.
“Relationships aren’t supposed to be like that, though.” Jared rolled so that he was half lying on Jensen’s chest. “I mean, look at how you and I do things in the bedroom, okay? We’re just friends and we’re comfortable with each other enough that we can sleep together and it’s not a big deal. Some nights you get to have control, and other nights I do. That’s how a relationship should work, in my opinion. Well, maybe a bit more romantic and holding hands, but that’s just a personal preference.” Jared smiled softly, eyes sad but understanding. “I think if you ever decided to try a boyfriend again, you should find someone that will agree to sharing control, someone you could joke around with in the middle of sex and not have it ruin the mood. I’d be happy for you if you could find that.”
Jared painted a nice picture but Jensen couldn't get hurt again. He couldn't take the lies and the heartbreak. Jared was strong; he was able to pick himself up and want to love again though Jack had really hurt him. Jensen didn't think highly enough of himself to think he would find that or that deserved it. He took a deep breath and nodded his head. "I don't think I’m built for that kind of happiness," he said softly. "Anyone that good wouldn't want someone like me." He bit his bottom lip. "I know you want to fall in love again, but do you ever worry that you might end up with someone like Jack again?"
“Yeah, I worry about that sometimes,” Jared agreed and laid his head on Jensen’s chest, listening to the steady thud of his heartbeat. “But, I already know that I’m never going to have something special, so I’ll just look for comfortable instead. You, though, you could have anything you want. You’re an amazing guy, Jen, and you deserve to have an epic romance. I’ll even cheer for you at the sidelines.”
"Me?" Jensen rolled his eyes and laughed softly. "I'm selfish, stubborn and…." he trailed off, shrugged, frowned. "Jared, don't be stupid. You’re so beautiful and you’re everything that any man could want. You're going to find someone who will love you and take care of you, treat you like you should be treated. Why would you think you aren't going to have something special?"
The radio played softly, muffling the marathon sex going on across the hallway. Jared tapped his fingers to the beat absently, rolling over options in his head. “I’m kind of pining after someone that doesn’t look at me and see me as an option, and I’m content to just deal with it, love him from afar. I want him to be happy, and I know I’m not the one that could make him happy so I haven’t said anything. I won’t, either, so don’t think you can bully me into telling him,” he teased, tone light and content and only the slightest bit wistful. “Besides, I know you and you’d want to beat him in the head until he saw reason and that’s just not an option.”
Jensen's mouth went dry; Jared was in love with someone? He pressed his lips together and tried not to let that bother him or even admit that it was eating at him. "Do I at least get to know who he is?" he asked, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "You deserve so much better than that, Jared." He deserved more than Jensen a few times week, trying to lay claim to him. That was wrong of him and Jensen knew that. He really was a bad person and it made his heart sink.
“No, I really don’t deserve anything more than what I’ve already got. I’m happy with what I have. It could be better, sure, but I know better than to think that he’s going to wake up one day and think ‘Holy fuck, I’m desperately in love with Jared’ and then run over here to declare his undying love. Real life doesn’t work like that. Yeah, I love him but he will never love me, so I keep going as I have been and don’t think about it too much.” Jared smoothed his hand up and down Jensen’s stomach, trying to soothe the sudden tension in Jensen’s body. “You don’t have to be upset on my behalf, Jen. I knew what I was getting into when I fell for him. It’s my own fault for falling for someone who doesn’t want me like that.”
Jensen closed his eyes and nodded his head, he knew Jared well enough to know that he wasn't going to get through. He wasn't going to make Jared see just how wonderful he was, how amazing and beautiful, smart and talented. He sighed and shook his head as he turned and kissed Jared's temple. "You'll never see in yourself, Jared, what I see in you."
This was way too heavy and Jensen needed to move on before he broke down and confessed to Jared that talking about this other guy was making him sick to his stomach with jealousy. Jensen didn't do jealous. He pressed his lips together again and sighed. "So, enough with the love crap; I got a question for you and you have to promise not to make fun of me when I ask it."
Jared chuckled and nodded against Jensen’s chest. “I won’t make fun of you, I promise. Well, unless you ask me to dress up as a pony so that you can play cowboy. I might have to tease you about that.” He stroked Jensen’s chest and down over his belly, stopping at the waistband only to go right back up and repeat the process all over again.
Shuddering a little, Jensen laughed and shook his head. "Well, that's a kink best left for the next time we're drunk," he laughed, and then looked down at Jared. "My little sister is getting married the first Saturday of next month, and I wanted to know if you would be my date to the wedding. It'll be in Tampa, so we'd have to stay overnight, I guess."
“You wanna take me?” Jared asked, pushing up so that he could look Jensen in the eye. He raised a brow and cocked his head to the side. “I’m not going in drag, am I?” he asked warily, amusement and teasing glinting in his eyes. “I’d do it, you know, but I don’t wanna meet your folks and have them think you’re friends with a creepy cross dresser.” He giggled and wrapped his arms around Jensen again, laying his head on Jen’s chest. “All teasing aside, I’d love to go with you.”
As hot as Jared was in drag, that really wasn't the way he wanted Jared to meet his family. "Nah, I thought I'd be nice and dress you like a boy just this once," he teased back as Jared settled against him again. He wrapped his arms around Jared and held him tightly; he couldn't hide the smile on his face. "Awesome." He looked forward to the wedding all that much more now.
“Are you gonna wear a tux?” Jared asked, grinning against Jensen’s chest, one hand fisted in his shirt. “Because, if you are, I’m definitely going to take pictures to add to my spank bank. We’ll have to get ready at least two hours before the wedding so I can molest you properly and we’ll still have time to shower and get dressed again.”
"Yeah. My mother is making me," Jensen said lamely. There were going to be family pictures and all that crap, plus the fact that he and his older brother were supposed to make a toast or something. That part he was leaving up to Josh, though, and his brother could fill him in ten minutes before hand. That worked for him. "‘Mom, I totally can't wear this tux; Jared got come all over it."
Jared burst out laughing, burying his face in the softness of Jensen’s tee shirt as mirth coursed through him. “I-I promise not to,” he laughed, squeezing Jensen tightly, “make a mess of you, baby.”
When Jared laughed, Jensen couldn't help but join in. He never could help himself. "Baby, you can make a mess of me anytime you want, just remember you may have to deal with my mom."
The laughter slowed and softened and Jared tipped his head back, grinning that megawatt smile, like Jensen had hung the moon and stars and handcrafted the sky to hang them in. “Why do I get the feeling that I’d end up running away from a tiny little woman wielding a wooden spoon if I mess up your tux?” he teased, grin still wide and happy and adoration swimming in his eyes.
"You should have seen her the night I came home drunk from prom," Jensen joked and then sighed. His mom was nuts but he adored her. He knew that she would fall in love with Jared the moment she saw him. She didn't care that her son was gay, but like Ryan she wanted him to settle down. "Nah, my mom would blame me not you, so you'll be safe, I promise."
“It must be nice,” Jared whispered wistfully and then laughed and pushed himself up. He swung a leg over Jensen’s hips and settled astride him, grinning like a fool. “So, why were you lame enough to go home after prom? I mean, it’s prom; it’s kind of expected that you’d stay in a motel room for the night and go home with a hangover the next day, not go home drunk.”
"Got the cops called on us." Jensen shrugged up at Jared. "We were at a beach house but it only lasted about an hour and I ended up calling Ryan to pick me up but he was mean enough to make me go home to deal with my parents." That was certainly not one of his finest moments. "My date was in the middle of trying to get into my pants too, so I think it was a little better to deal with the cops than a drunken redhead that doesn't understand ‘I prefer dick to chick’."
“You took a redhead chick to prom?” Jared asked, eyes wide and a little surprised. “Wow, I guess I never thought of you trying things out to see which you liked, but I guess everyone can’t have the obvious answer staring them in the face all of their lives.”
Jensen shook his head. "Nah, I’ve known I wasn't into girls since I was thirteen but I was the only gay kid in my high school so," he shrugged, "we all kind of went as a group and those without dates got paired off." Sadly enough he ended up with the only girl who didn't seem to understand that no really could be a final answer.
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I spent my prom night in my room, sleeping.” Jared’s hands moved over Jensen’s chest, head tipped down to watch the stark difference between the bright white of the tee shirt and the dark tan of his hands. “I had the flu.”
"Ouch, that sucks." Jensen ran a hand through Jared's hair. He cleared his throat and relaxed against the bed. Misha and Terry seemed to have shut up for the time being and Jensen smirked. "You think they killed each other?" he joked.
“If they did, I’m not going to check. The last thing I need is to see them buck naked and still buried inside each other.” Jared scooted backward, so his hips straddled Jensen’s upper thighs, and then lay down on top of him, head tucked into the curve of Jensen’s neck. He was silent for a long time, content to just lie there and drown in the affection.
"That is a scary image." Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared, rubbed his hands down his friend's back gently. He licked his lips and took several deep breaths, taking in Jared's scent as his eyes closed. He was so content being with Jared, like this.
“Um, if I tell you something, do you promise not to get pissed off?” Jared murmured, hands fisted in Jensen’s tee shirt. “It’s not something I did, exactly, but-well, I’m kind of used to giving canned responses about certain things.”
Jensen tensed a little, unsure where Jared was going with this one. "Um, okay."
“I didn’t have the flu prom night. I wasn’t in my room sleeping. I was in the woods about three miles from home. My brother,” Jared swallowed, sighed, pressed his face against Jensen’s throat, “um, he didn’t take too kindly to having a fag for a little brother. He was smart enough not to hit me in the face, made sure that no bones were broken, but he kicked the living shit out of me. So, if I give an immediate answer about my family or my school years, it’s probably not really the truth. I’ll tell you the truth when I can, but it’ll take me a minute to prepare myself for it.”
Jensen swallowed hard and his arms wrapped a little tighter around Jared though he didn't even realize he was doing it. His face burned with pure hate and if Jared's brother was within reach he would have murdered him on the spot. "Damn," he mumbled. He didn't understand how someone could do that to their own flesh and blood either. He really didn't know what to say to that because, holy shit. He shook his head. "Your world is just filled with assholes, huh?"
“Nope, I’ve got my Prince Charming to balance out the scales. Because, you know, one prince far outweighs all of the assholes.” Jared tucked his hands under Jensen’s shoulders and let his muscles unwind, release. “You’re my best friend, Jen, and I love you in a way that no one else can touch, so I want you to know things I don’t tell other people. Is, is that okay or should I just stick with the canned responses if my family ever comes up again?”
Jensen blushed and buried his face in Jared's hair. The Prince Charming comments always made his heart swell. He bit his bottom lip and he rolled them over so that Jared was on his back and Jensen could see him eye to eye. "Always be honest with me, baby, even if it’s not something you think I want to hear." He frowned deeply as he looked Jared over. "And… um, I'll be honest with you in return," he said more to himself than to Jared. He moved up a little and planted a kiss on Jared's chest.
“I can’t be completely honest, Jen. A guy’s gotta have some secrets,” Jared teased, though he was thinking back to the brief conversation they’d had earlier when he’d almost confessed to being stupidly in love with Jensen. That was one secret he couldn’t tell. He knew Jensen well enough to know that it would be the last thing he ever got to say to him; Jensen would vanish.
Jensen nodded his head. "Yeah, got to be able to keep some stuff to ourselves," he agreed, because if there was some stuff that Jensen couldn't be honest with himself about how could he ever be honest with Jared about them?
He went a little red as he looked down at Jared's chest. "Know how I said I have issues with relationships because someone always has the upper hand in them?" Jensen fidgeted a little bit and then pushed himself to continue. "Max was the first boyfriend I ever had. He was everything to me, even after he started doing heavy drugs, using our rent money to feed his habit and beating the crap out of me. He cheated on me and I just dealt with it, ignored it because I loved him that much-I had to be good enough, you know?" He shrugged. "I never told anyone all that. I just want you to know that I trust you as much as you trust me, more than I've ever trusted anyone."
“Okay, okay; I’m not the kind of guy that gets pissed off and threatens people I’ve never met, but if I were to ever meet Max, I’m telling you now that no one would ever find the body.” Jared’s eyes were stern and angry, but the anger wasn’t directed at Jensen, it was for him. “I don’t know why he turned to drugs and it’s not my business to know, but whatever the reason, it didn’t give him the right to hurt you. He might’ve been a great guy, had to be if you loved him, but once he got on the drugs, you weren’t dating him anymore. You were ‘the other man’ in his relationship with his drug of choice. Because that’s exactly what addiction is like; nothing matters except for getting a chance at his next hit, his next fix. He’d literally do anything to get more, because the addiction is pretty similar to falling in love; it’s heady and exciting and all-consuming and every thought is spending time with your sweetheart, you ignore friends and miss a couple of phone calls and other things don’t really seem that important.”
Jared paused, bit his lower lip, and dragged Jensen in tight. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Jen. I wish Max had never touched drugs and that you’d gotten to have a happily ever after with your prince. I wouldn’t have met you, but you would have been happy and loved instead of hurting.”
Jensen’s eyes widened a little as he looked at Jared and shook his head. "Baby, calm down a little; it happened forever ago." He shook his head again and bit his bottom lip. He knew that Jared was right though, someone who got that deep into drugs, they changed. Everything about them changed, it was sad and it was scary but it was also reality. "Jared, you are the best thing to happen in my life in a very long time." Even if Jared loved someone else, even if, at some point, Jared found his happy ever after and Jensen just became a thing of the past, Jared made him happy. "I mean, to have a friend like you, I would deal with ten guys like Max." Even more now that Jensen knew how to deal with a person like that. "I say we go on a spree; I'll kill your brother and Jack and you can kill Max. They'll never tie us to the murders."
“Nah, I’ll just console myself with cuddling you for eternity,” Jared teased. “Besides, my brother is even taller and bigger than I am, and Jack’s not worth the effort.”
"I would totally be okay with risking an ass beating to defend you." Jensen laughed and rolled his eyes as he moved to lie on his back again. He reached over and pulled Jared onto his chest to hold him. "As you will see tomorrow if Jack decides to show his face at the bar again." Though, Jensen was more than positive that he could kick the living shit out of Jack without even breaking a sweat.
“Jen, really, it’s okay.” Jared curled up at Jensen’s side, head pillowed on a freckled shoulder, and lazily traced invisible designs over Jensen’s soft belly. “I’m more than okay to have you as my cuddle victim, and Jack is ancient history.”
Jensen buried his face in Jared's hair and sighed gently. He couldn't help it, he got nasty when someone tried to hurt Jared or made his friend unhappy. He bit his bottom lip and nodded his head. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the affection as he settled, Jared's warmth making his body relax further. He just nodded his head and rubbed his hand up and down Jared's back. "Cuddle victim," he repeated. "That's a new one."
“You’re being cuddle raped, so you’re a cuddle victim,” Jared said nonchalantly but turned his face against Jensen’s chest to hide his grin. His shoulders shook with silent mirth, unable to keep all of the laughter subdued.
Jensen laughed until his cheeks went slightly pink from it. "Wow, so I should have you arrested," he joked. Though he guessed in this, it was the one time where they could claim the victim totally asked for it.
“Well, maybe not rape. You’re pretty willing, so maybe just consensual cuddle molestation.” Jared tipped his head up and the wide, deeply amused grin he wore shone brightly, stretching his lips wide and dimpling his cheeks. “God, you’re amazing, you know that? Never had a friend like you before; letting me cuddle and snuggle and cling to you.”
Jensen loved Jared's smile, it always caught him off guard just how beautiful it was. He lost himself sometimes, just watching Jared. Jensen shook his head and rolled his eyes again. "Yeah, I'm up there with sliced bread," he mocked teasingly. "Seriously though; I like spending cuddle time with you." He certainly enjoyed sleeping here with Jared or having Jared in his bed much more than sleeping without his friend next to him.
Jared leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to Jensen’s mouth, happy and affectionate and content to simply be with Jensen. “You know,” he said, breaking the kiss and leaning back just enough so that he could see his friend’s face. “I’ve got you all figured out now. That badass attitude is a total façade to hide your mushy center.”
Jensen looked back at Jared and shrugged a little. Jared did tend to see a side of Jensen that he didn't share with anyone else. One might wonder why the hell Jensen had such a stick up his ass about being honest about his feelings. The truth was he thought he was keeping Jared at a safe distance, even though it was a pretty stupid and unrealistic thought on Jensen's part. "I have my badass moments," he protested. "It's hard not to just be me around you, though. You do realize, however, that now that you know my very well thought out and devious plan that I'm going to have to kill you."
Playfulness lit Jared’s eyes and his grin widened for a moment before morphing into a mock-frightened look as he rolled away from Jensen, ready to play hard to get. “Oh no!” he cried out in mock-fear, laughter in his voice. “My dear, sweet prince has gone mad and is out to get me!”
Jensen rolled after him and dragged Jared back into his chest. "Oh no, my princess, you are my cuddle whore for the night," he teased as his hand brushed against Jared's side. By now he knew where Jared was ticklish and he would totally use it against his friend.
Jared gasped and rolled his hips back into Jensen’s hips, trying to wriggle away from the faint brushes of fingers at his sides. He grasped the side of the bed and tugged, pushing back against Jensen with his hips to put distance between them. “Hey! No fair!” he yelped, tangling his legs with Jensen’s and trying to use his longer legs to his advantage.
Jensen pushed himself up and half laid on top of Jared. "All is fair in love and war, baby," he answered as he caught Jared's mouth with his own and kissed him deeply, trying to daze him a moment. He smiled into the kiss; Jared made him happier than he could ever remember and it amazed him. He pulled back a little and then grabbed Jared's side again to start the tickling all over again.
Loud shrieks of laughter burst out of Jared’s mouth and he bucked hard, wriggling and squirming under Jensen’s wickedly accurate fingers, trying to get away. “J-Jen! I-haha-I’m gonna b-beat your a-hahaha-gonna beat your ass!” Jared let go of the side of the bed with one hand and reached back, gripping a handful of Jensen’s hip, shoving at him weakly to get him to stop. “U-uncle!”
A wide grin spread over Jensen's face as Jared gave in. He pulled himself up and then flopped back down onto the bed as green eyes looked back over Jared. "I know you so well," he said as he bit his lip, teasing his friend. He turned a little so he was on his side and reached up to brush his fingers over Jared's cheek. "You’re so cute when you laugh."
Laughter flushed cheeks pinked further, mouth stretched in a wide smile. Jared rolled and pinned Jensen beneath him, elbows bracketing Jensen’s head on the pillows, and just grinned down at him. “I guess it’s a good thing that you like it, because you make me laugh unlike anyone else ever has.” Jared’s smile slowly lost wattage, dimming down to something that looked scarily like adoration and deep affection; he looked happy, with just the slightest tinge of sadness around the eyes. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Jen.”
Jensen looked up at Jared, a similar look in his eyes. It was reality to Jensen that he was very much in love with Jared, that Jared really had become his world; a long process but true, nonetheless. He bit his bottom lip and his hands came up to cup Jared's cheeks, bringing him down for a kiss. He smiled as they parted. No matter what fuck ups they had dealt with in the past, it brought them to moments like this and, oddly enough, at times like this Jensen couldn't remember the pain and heartache of Max because it didn't really matter. "I feel the same way."
Jared grinned wider as his eyes slid closed, shaking his head. “If we keep talking like this, one of us is going to grow a pair of tits and cock will magically turn into vagina,” he teased, needing to relax the suddenly too serious moment. Still, Jared settled down, perfectly content to use Jensen as his personal body pillow, and tucked his face into Jensen’s neck to stall the words that teetered on the tip of his tongue. He was positive that voicing how he really felt would end it all, and he was too selfish to give Jensen up.
Jensen nodded his head and laughed. "Well, out of the two of us, which one has the pink dress?" he teased as he kissed Jared's hair and wrapped his arms tightly around him, almost possessively, protectively. "I think we both need to sleep; you agree?"
“Yeah, we should sleep,” Jared murmured, snuffling into Jensen’s neck for a moment. “I’m gonna break your spine if I keep lying on you like this, though. You get to be the little spoon tonight,” he stated and pressed soft kisses to the curve of Jensen’s jaw, just showing affection instead of trying to rile Jensen up.
Jensen smiled and shifted a little. "What a way to go, though." He sighed and moved a little, tangled with Jared comfortable. "Night."
Chapter Eight