Ripples in the Water (3/7)
Title: Ripples in the Water
Author: yahnknshadows
Rating: NC-17
Pairing/Genre: Dean/Jared; AU
Warnings: AU, slash, mpreg (non-graphic), language, hunting, life
Disclaimer: Lies, I tell you! It's all a lie!"
World Count: This part: 3,971; Total: 24,561
Summary: Jared keeps waking up in the wrong place, with people he doesn't know, in a world he doesn't understand, and he falls in love with it.
Beta: Let's all give a rousing round of applause to Sarah <3 <3 <3 <3! Thanks so much for your help, honey!
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Epilogue
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Part III
~*~
A week into being back home after Dean had found out, Jared went out with some friends. They’d hung out at the basketball court and played some two on two. He was tired and sweaty afterwards and was walking home when four guys walked up to him and started pushing him around, jeering at him, pissed off because, apparently, he’d shown them up in front of some girls they’d been trying to impress.
Jared had never had to fight anyone before. Usually his size alone made others think twice about attacking him, so he’d never seen the point in learning how to fight. Unfortunately, the guys that cornered him didn’t care how big he was and literally wiped the pavement with his face.
He lay on the ground for several long minutes, just gasping for breath around bruised ribs. His lip was split, bleeding sluggishly, and his stomach felt as though it’d been kicked in. When he finally managed to get to his feet, he found boot prints slowly starting to show up in purple and green bruises along his chest and stomach. Jared swiped the blood off of his face and started home.
Twenty feet from his front door, Jared found himself outside another house, the shack John had dropped him and Dean off at the week before. Grimacing, Jared made his way inside. Better to have Dean bitching at him and babying him than listening to his mother ranting and raving, or coddling him like a five year old.
Dean walked through the bedroom door and came face to face with a very beat to shit Jared, his mouth fell open. "Jared?" he asked, moving forward quickly to grab a hold of Jared's arm, helping him inside. "What the fuck happened?" he asked, though he wasn't really paying attention to the answer as he tried to pull Jared towards the bathroom carefully. Once in the bathroom he pushed him slowly to sit down, grabbing the first-aid kit.
“Sam showed some guys up and they beat my ass while I was on my way home from the basketball court.” Jared turned his head and spat a mouthful of blood into the sink. “I dunno how to fight, so the four of them kicked my ass really good. I was almost home when I showed up here.”
Dean lifted Jared's shirt, wincing at the cuts and the black and blue marks that were already forming. "Christ." He grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the shirt open to make sure dye didn't get into the wounds before wetting a wash cloth with cold water and starting to wipe down the cuts gently on Jared's face. There was a bad cut just above his left eye, that would need stitches and his lip was busted. "Just try to stay still okay, this is going take some time," he said as rinsed the blood from the rag before wetting it again, pressing it firmly to Jared's eye to stop the bleeding there. "Hold that there."
Jared did as he was told and held the wet rag to his brow. “I hurt fucking everywhere,” he complained. “It sucks donkey balls.” He looked up at Dean, expression open and pleading. “Will you teach me to fight? I don’t want to get beaten up like this again.”
“Goddamn right I will," Dean said, as if the answer was obvious. "I got some pain killers but they'll have to wait until I make sure you don't have anything broken." Pain sucked but it was helpful when picking up on breaks.
“Don’t think anything is broken, just bruised to hell and back.” Jared leaned back, resting his head on the wall behind the toilet, and sighed. “I’m kinda glad I came here. My mom would’ve hit the roof and started complaining that if I weren’t gay I’d have been able to defend myself.”
Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, well, by the time I'm done with you I promise you'll be able to beat the shit out of anyone who gets in your way," he answered as he finished wiping off the blood and pulled Jared's hand down so he could get a better look at the gash on his eyebrow. "Okay this is going to need stitches, so if you plan on passing out please tell me now." He got the needle ready and began cleaning the wound better.
“I’m gay, not a pussy, Dean,” Jared grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. “Fuck you, I won’t pass out.”
"Dude, you almost passed out when it was me." Dean smirked as he finished up and threaded the needle. "Just stay still." He pushed Jared's head back and held it so he could work better in the light.
Jared glared at Dean, mouth set into a thin, firm line. “I was afraid you were dying, asshole. Of course I freaked out.”
"I heard you throwing up dinner in the bathroom that night," Dean said, ignoring Jared's bitch face as he worked, carefully trying not to hurt Jared any more than he needed to. "I'm teasing, Jared, try not to get so pissy."
Narrowed hazel-green eyes closed and Jared sighed in exasperation. His lips twitched as though he wanted to say something, fingers drumming on his bicep impatiently. “I already know what you think of me, so just keep it to yourself, okay?” he said finally, tone neutral and even.
"Oh shut up, Jared; you don't know jackshit," Dean said simply. His eyes remained on his work as he finished the last stitch and made a cut to tie it off. "You may think that you do, but you don't."
The muscle flexed in Jared’s jaw, teeth grinding, and Jared sighed again. “Are you done? I need to write to Sam and let him know what happened.”
"Yes, Jared, I've been done for the last five minutes. I just love looking at your face." Dean pushed himself up and slammed the first-aid kit back into place before handing Jared a wad of alcohol swabs. "Do it yourself if you're going to be on the rag."
Jared went red under the purpling bruises and smeared blood on his face and turned his head, hiding behind the shaggy fall of his hair. “That’s exactly what I mean,” he ground out. “You realize that I’m gay and all of a sudden I’m a girl. I can’t even defend myself, so that makes me a weak girl. Thank you very much for making yourself completely clear.” He shoved to his feet and shouldered his way around Dean, heading toward the bedroom with every intention of locking himself in until he went back home.
"Yes, obviously that's it, Jared. It's all about you and you being gay and me dumping on you like your bitch fucking mother," Dean snapped. "You stuck your tongue down my throat, and I freak out, not because I have a guy kissing me but he happens to have my little brother's face while he's doing it! But, that doesn't get through to you. I live with, as you said, a military family but, I mean, why the fuck would I have an understanding of you, right? Sam knows I'm gay, but I guess your little note passing didn't cover that part, huh? You and my brother; you know what the main thing that you have in common really is? You’re so self-loathing and self-victimized that it makes me sick to my stomach."
“I don’t hate myself, Dean,” Jared growled, turning on his heel to face Dean. “Right now, I fucking hate you. I can’t goddamn help how I look, just like I can’t help how I feel.” He stalked back to Dean, getting right in his face, using the inch he had over Dean to loom over him. “But, I swear to fucking God I’ll never make the mistake of getting close to you again.” With that, he whirled around and started back to the bedroom.
"You play the victim so well, Jared. I bet you have someone who’s proud of that. I mean, I tell you I'm gay but it's still about you. You lied to me for nine months, yet you’re in the right. I've told you that I had feelings for you, and it was screwing me up because I thought you were Sam, and yet you're the one that hates me." Dean shook his head. "You know what: get your head out of your ass and then we'll talk, because I'm not going to stalk after you like you’re a fucking child." Dean stormed off to the kitchen to get a drink.
Jared stopped at the bedroom door and turned his head, showing Dean his profile. “You never said you felt anything for me, but even if you did it’s not gonna happen. You only see Sam when you look at me, which is why you never knew I wasn’t him the entire time. I’d be stupid to hold out for someone that looks at me and sees their little brother.” He opened the bedroom door, stepped inside, and turned the lock, sliding down the rough wood to sit on the floor right where he was.
Dean stalked over to the door and kicked it like he was kicking it in to get to the thing that had killed his mother. The place was old so it didn't take much for him to crack the wood and he just kicked it again, and then a third time as the hinges started to give away.
Inside the room, Jared scrambled to get away from the door. He lunged for the far wall and put his back to the corner, eyes huge in his face as he waited for the door to snap open. He panted, fear and adrenaline pumping through his veins making his cheeks heat and his jeans grow tight at the crotch. He actually flinched when the door slammed open and banged into the wall behind it.
Dean just leaned against the inside of the door frame and looked at Jared, blocking the way out and crossing his arms. "Okay, rule number one: don't ever fucking try to pull that childish stunt again, understand?" he demanded. "Rule number two: if I hated your guts, or thought less of you, I wouldn't be scared to say it to your sorry ass face like I'm doing now, so don't you ever stand there and tell me how I feel, what I feel or why, got it?" He shook his head and moved forward, crowding Jared into the corner. He leaned in but stayed far enough away so Jared was clear on the fact that he wasn't coming after him to hurt him. "And last: for now, when I speak to you, I expect you to listen.
“Last week I told you that I was falling for you, but then I'd see Sam and not see it anymore. I'm not an idiot, but you were right; my father would have killed you in your sleep, so maybe part of my believing that you were Sam was more self-induced than you could understand." Dean dropped his hands and looked at Jared, who now looked like he was about to piss himself. "Now get your ass in bed, lie down and let me take care of you before start bleeding all over the place again, okay?"
Jared nodded jerkily but didn’t move from his spot in the corner. His face flamed one moment and then paled the next only to go bright red again. He slid down the wall, tired and sore, with his legs kicked out in front of him, and stared at Dean as though he would snap at any moment if Jared moved the wrong way.
Dean shook his head and moved towards Jared slowly, like he was trying to get to an injured and scared street cat. He knelt down in front of the other boy and cupped his cheek. He was softer now because he knew that he had Jared's attention. "Jared, I'm never going to hurt you for any reason, ever, but I have limits just like anyone else. So, if I have to kick in a few doors to get you to snap out of whatever shithole you're trying to hide in, I will," he said honestly. "Come on," he said as he shifted to kneel next to Jared and help him up. "Relax, not going to hurt you," he repeated, trying to get Jared to the bed.
As though a switch had been flipped, Jared wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and buried his face in Dean’s shoulder, clinging to him like a limpet. “God, I thought you hated me. You kept yelling and then you got quiet and broody and then you left and I thought, fuck, Dean, I thought you were going to kill me when I came back.”
Dean pulled Jared in and held him as tightly as he thought was safe for Jared's injuries. "Jared, I was just mad, I don't hate you. I care about you very much. I just got mad because I didn't realize just how close you got to getting yourself killed on hunts, you know?" he tried to explain as he sat down to hold Jared a while before even trying to move him.
“I tried to be good, to do what I should, but I didn’t know what to do, and those things are so fucking scary that I just froze. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Jared sobbed into Dean’s shoulder. He shifted onto his knees and turned fully into Dean’s arms, pressing against him as if that would assure them both.
Dean pulled Jared in so Jared was sitting on his lap as Dean held him. Dean stroked Jared’s hair and talked softly into his ear, telling him that he was there and that it was going to be okay. Rubbing Jared’s back, Dean took a deep breath and nodded against Jared’s hair before kissing his temple. "I know, Jared, I know you did the best you could. I get that, but now we know and now we start doing what we have to do to make sure you’re safe. In my world and yours," he explained softly.
“I just want to stay right here, with you,” Jared confessed, teary-eyed. He pulled back to look Dean in the eye, only just realizing that he was astride Dean’s lap. He froze stiff, his back ridged and eyes wide and fearful. He ducked his head, shaking his hair down to hide his face so that Dean wouldn’t be reminded of who Jared looked like, and tried to wiggle out of Dean’s grasp.
Dean tightened his jaw and closed his eyes at Jared's words. He ran his hand down Jared's side and gripped him tighter when Jared tried to move away. "Please don't. Just stay here with me for a minute," Dean asked softly, brushing Jared's hair back out of his face and behind his ear. "I missed you."
Jared bowed his head and slumped into Dean’s neck, sighing heavily. He fisted his hands in the back of Dean’s shirt and clung to him, soaking up and reveling in just being in Dean’s arms. “God, this is all kinds of crazy,” he muttered, lips brushing Dean’s neck as he spoke. “I’ve been pretending to be your brother for months. I look just like him. I don’t see how this is going to work without freaking you out every time you look at me.”
"You're nothing like my brother though, really. I mean, looking at you, even without the cuts and the blood, there's something different. I don't know what it is, but…." Dean shrugged. "We'll work it out," he promised as he leaned back into the wall with his arms around Jared.
“The problem, though, is that I never know when I’m going back. It would be incredibly awkward for Sam to come back if we were kissing at the time, or sitting lumped together on the couch, or spooned up together in our sleep.” Jared sat back and looked at Dean through worried eyes, chewing his lower lip anxiously.
Dean frowned and looked up into Jared’s eyes. "Yeah, I know. I'm going to try and see what I can find out about this. Maybe we can find a way for you guys to control it or something." He shrugged a little and shook his head. "Come on, I want you to lie down," he said, trying to get Jared to stand up. "We'll talk but only once I have pain meds in you."
Jared climbed off of Dean’s lap and got to his feet. Already his muscles had stiffened up, aching worse after being so still. “I’m gonna be a giant bruise by morning,” he grumbled, toddling over to the bed and easing himself down onto his side.
Dean got up and moved over to the bed with a small smirk. "I'll get you something that will help. You allergic to medications or anything?" he asked as he leaned against the edge of the bed.
“The only allergy I’ve got is to milk products,” Jared murmured, smiling sheepishly. “That’s why I never opted for Mac and Cheese.”
"Now you tell me," Dean joked as he got up and left the room. They had all types of medication that Dean could give Jared, but he didn't want to give him something too strong. He finally settled on two codeine tablets to start out with, and if Jared needed something stronger later on they would deal with it then. He was tall enough to handle it so Dean was sure he'd be fine.
Taking the pills from his bag, Dean moved to the kitchen for water and to fill a small bag with ice. Once back in the bedroom he handed Jared two of the pills and the water before climbing into bed next to him.
Jared swallowed down the pills obediently, not even bothering to ask what they were, and then snuggled in close to Dean. “I got mom to show me how to make her famous barbecue sauce and she taught me how to make pulled pork,” he murmured. “I figured I could have her teach me so that we can have real food from time to time.” He tipped his head back to look at Dean, grinning. “Don’t even start with the wife comments. I can hear you thinking them.”
Dean turned on his side, his arm coming across Jared as he held him. He smiled gently. "Awesome. That's real meat instead of hotdogs," he answered as he laid his head back. "Don't worry, I won't treat you like the girl or anything," he teased as he got comfortable.
Jared stared up at Dean for another long moment and then pressed a quick, chaste kiss on the end of Dean’s chin before burying his flaming face in Dean’s chest. “I tried to get her to show me how to make things that don’t need a lot of prep work or crazy amounts of pans, or a crock pot, because I know we won’t really have those things where we go.”
Opening his eyes again, Dean looked down towards Jared before nodding. "Quick and easy is the way to go around here." His hand came up to run through Jared's hair and down his back. He nuzzled against Jared with a smile on his lips. "Besides it'll be good for you have real meals. Once I start teaching you to fight, you're going to need as much food as you can get."
“I’m already a bottomless pit,” Jared snorted. “If I eat much more, I’ll bankrupt a small country.”
"Just wait and see," Dean murmured, still rubbing Jared's back. "Why don't you get some sleep? We'll call pizza in or something tonight, okay?"
Jared burrowed in further, tentatively sliding an arm around Dean’s waist. “You’re just gonna wait until I’m sleeping and then leave me here, aren’t you?”
Dean tensed as though hurt by the question. "No, I planned on taking a nap with you. Why would you ask me something like that?"
Surprised, Jared leaned back to stare at Dean with wide eyes. “I was kidding, honest.” He gnawed on his lower lip again, the pink skin turning white where his teeth dug in.
Dean relaxed again and watched Jared. "Sorry, I thought you were still questioning the whole me liking you thing."
Jared’s cheeks went bright red and he ducked his head to hide his face. “I’m still not sure how this works,” he said quietly. “And I’m kind of nervous, to tell the truth. I haven’t, exactly, uh, done this before.”
Dean turned a little. "Which part?" he asked. "I mean, I get the whole time warp being new, but, I mean, you’ve never had a boyfriend or anything?"
“None of it,” Jared admitted. “There was a guy I liked back in middle school, but the furthest anything went was holding hands and hanging out more than normal.”
"You don't have to be nervous. I'm not going to push you into anything." Dean said. "And I know how to take my time if, well, if we get into all that."
“I’m not nervous because I think you wanna strip me down and fuck me silly, Dean,” Jared said, cheeks heating up further, ears even tinting pink. “I’m nervous because I feel so many things and I’m not exactly sure what they mean.”
"I can't really help you with that. Any of the feelings bad, though?"
“If you call wanting to kiss you every time I’m around you ‘bad’, then sure.” Jared gnawed on his lips some more, feeling awkward about saying things like that out loud, especially when talking to the person he wanted to kiss.
Dean shifted a little and moved down so he was eye level with Jared. He pressed his lips to the other boy's, carefully deepening the kiss as he cupped the back of Jared's neck and drew him in. He was careful because of the cut on Jared's bottom lip but still urged Jared to open his mouth. After a few moments he pushed back, green eyes opening slowly to take in Jared's expression. "Better?"
Glazed hazel-green eyes opened slowly, revealing thin rings of greenish brown around wide pits of black. Jared nodded absently, blinking slowly as though trying to find his way back from the euphoria he’d been lost in so briefly.
"Listen, Jared, I'm going to be honest with you. I've been with men before but I've never been with a man I saw more than once or twice. Not because I want to be some massive man-whore but because my job, well, you've seen how it is," Dean murmured baldly. "I'm new at this too, and it's going to suck balls but, fuck it, you know? Could be worth it."
Jared bit his lips together and nodded, snuggling back into Dean’s neck. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you, or I won’t be any good at it. But, I won’t ask for more than you can comfortably give, okay?”
"You won't disappoint me," he said. "My first time, I was scared out of my mind. Once you get over that you enjoy it." Dean frowned; the whole Sam-Jared thing would be hard. "You need to sleep. Please?"
“Okay,” Jared muttered, feeling a little sleepy now that the medicine had started to kick in. He still ached, but it felt far away. Slowly he relaxed and soon he was sleeping a calm, medicated sleep.
Dean remained awake for a while after Jared fell asleep. He shifted a little and watched Jared sleeping, making sure that he was comfortable. After some time, he slipped into his own relaxed sleep.
Part IV
Author: yahnknshadows
Rating: NC-17
Pairing/Genre: Dean/Jared; AU
Warnings: AU, slash, mpreg (non-graphic), language, hunting, life
Disclaimer: Lies, I tell you! It's all a lie!"
World Count: This part: 3,971; Total: 24,561
Summary: Jared keeps waking up in the wrong place, with people he doesn't know, in a world he doesn't understand, and he falls in love with it.
Beta: Let's all give a rousing round of applause to Sarah <3 <3 <3 <3! Thanks so much for your help, honey!
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Epilogue
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Part III
~*~
A week into being back home after Dean had found out, Jared went out with some friends. They’d hung out at the basketball court and played some two on two. He was tired and sweaty afterwards and was walking home when four guys walked up to him and started pushing him around, jeering at him, pissed off because, apparently, he’d shown them up in front of some girls they’d been trying to impress.
Jared had never had to fight anyone before. Usually his size alone made others think twice about attacking him, so he’d never seen the point in learning how to fight. Unfortunately, the guys that cornered him didn’t care how big he was and literally wiped the pavement with his face.
He lay on the ground for several long minutes, just gasping for breath around bruised ribs. His lip was split, bleeding sluggishly, and his stomach felt as though it’d been kicked in. When he finally managed to get to his feet, he found boot prints slowly starting to show up in purple and green bruises along his chest and stomach. Jared swiped the blood off of his face and started home.
Twenty feet from his front door, Jared found himself outside another house, the shack John had dropped him and Dean off at the week before. Grimacing, Jared made his way inside. Better to have Dean bitching at him and babying him than listening to his mother ranting and raving, or coddling him like a five year old.
Dean walked through the bedroom door and came face to face with a very beat to shit Jared, his mouth fell open. "Jared?" he asked, moving forward quickly to grab a hold of Jared's arm, helping him inside. "What the fuck happened?" he asked, though he wasn't really paying attention to the answer as he tried to pull Jared towards the bathroom carefully. Once in the bathroom he pushed him slowly to sit down, grabbing the first-aid kit.
“Sam showed some guys up and they beat my ass while I was on my way home from the basketball court.” Jared turned his head and spat a mouthful of blood into the sink. “I dunno how to fight, so the four of them kicked my ass really good. I was almost home when I showed up here.”
Dean lifted Jared's shirt, wincing at the cuts and the black and blue marks that were already forming. "Christ." He grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the shirt open to make sure dye didn't get into the wounds before wetting a wash cloth with cold water and starting to wipe down the cuts gently on Jared's face. There was a bad cut just above his left eye, that would need stitches and his lip was busted. "Just try to stay still okay, this is going take some time," he said as rinsed the blood from the rag before wetting it again, pressing it firmly to Jared's eye to stop the bleeding there. "Hold that there."
Jared did as he was told and held the wet rag to his brow. “I hurt fucking everywhere,” he complained. “It sucks donkey balls.” He looked up at Dean, expression open and pleading. “Will you teach me to fight? I don’t want to get beaten up like this again.”
“Goddamn right I will," Dean said, as if the answer was obvious. "I got some pain killers but they'll have to wait until I make sure you don't have anything broken." Pain sucked but it was helpful when picking up on breaks.
“Don’t think anything is broken, just bruised to hell and back.” Jared leaned back, resting his head on the wall behind the toilet, and sighed. “I’m kinda glad I came here. My mom would’ve hit the roof and started complaining that if I weren’t gay I’d have been able to defend myself.”
Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, well, by the time I'm done with you I promise you'll be able to beat the shit out of anyone who gets in your way," he answered as he finished wiping off the blood and pulled Jared's hand down so he could get a better look at the gash on his eyebrow. "Okay this is going to need stitches, so if you plan on passing out please tell me now." He got the needle ready and began cleaning the wound better.
“I’m gay, not a pussy, Dean,” Jared grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. “Fuck you, I won’t pass out.”
"Dude, you almost passed out when it was me." Dean smirked as he finished up and threaded the needle. "Just stay still." He pushed Jared's head back and held it so he could work better in the light.
Jared glared at Dean, mouth set into a thin, firm line. “I was afraid you were dying, asshole. Of course I freaked out.”
"I heard you throwing up dinner in the bathroom that night," Dean said, ignoring Jared's bitch face as he worked, carefully trying not to hurt Jared any more than he needed to. "I'm teasing, Jared, try not to get so pissy."
Narrowed hazel-green eyes closed and Jared sighed in exasperation. His lips twitched as though he wanted to say something, fingers drumming on his bicep impatiently. “I already know what you think of me, so just keep it to yourself, okay?” he said finally, tone neutral and even.
"Oh shut up, Jared; you don't know jackshit," Dean said simply. His eyes remained on his work as he finished the last stitch and made a cut to tie it off. "You may think that you do, but you don't."
The muscle flexed in Jared’s jaw, teeth grinding, and Jared sighed again. “Are you done? I need to write to Sam and let him know what happened.”
"Yes, Jared, I've been done for the last five minutes. I just love looking at your face." Dean pushed himself up and slammed the first-aid kit back into place before handing Jared a wad of alcohol swabs. "Do it yourself if you're going to be on the rag."
Jared went red under the purpling bruises and smeared blood on his face and turned his head, hiding behind the shaggy fall of his hair. “That’s exactly what I mean,” he ground out. “You realize that I’m gay and all of a sudden I’m a girl. I can’t even defend myself, so that makes me a weak girl. Thank you very much for making yourself completely clear.” He shoved to his feet and shouldered his way around Dean, heading toward the bedroom with every intention of locking himself in until he went back home.
"Yes, obviously that's it, Jared. It's all about you and you being gay and me dumping on you like your bitch fucking mother," Dean snapped. "You stuck your tongue down my throat, and I freak out, not because I have a guy kissing me but he happens to have my little brother's face while he's doing it! But, that doesn't get through to you. I live with, as you said, a military family but, I mean, why the fuck would I have an understanding of you, right? Sam knows I'm gay, but I guess your little note passing didn't cover that part, huh? You and my brother; you know what the main thing that you have in common really is? You’re so self-loathing and self-victimized that it makes me sick to my stomach."
“I don’t hate myself, Dean,” Jared growled, turning on his heel to face Dean. “Right now, I fucking hate you. I can’t goddamn help how I look, just like I can’t help how I feel.” He stalked back to Dean, getting right in his face, using the inch he had over Dean to loom over him. “But, I swear to fucking God I’ll never make the mistake of getting close to you again.” With that, he whirled around and started back to the bedroom.
"You play the victim so well, Jared. I bet you have someone who’s proud of that. I mean, I tell you I'm gay but it's still about you. You lied to me for nine months, yet you’re in the right. I've told you that I had feelings for you, and it was screwing me up because I thought you were Sam, and yet you're the one that hates me." Dean shook his head. "You know what: get your head out of your ass and then we'll talk, because I'm not going to stalk after you like you’re a fucking child." Dean stormed off to the kitchen to get a drink.
Jared stopped at the bedroom door and turned his head, showing Dean his profile. “You never said you felt anything for me, but even if you did it’s not gonna happen. You only see Sam when you look at me, which is why you never knew I wasn’t him the entire time. I’d be stupid to hold out for someone that looks at me and sees their little brother.” He opened the bedroom door, stepped inside, and turned the lock, sliding down the rough wood to sit on the floor right where he was.
Dean stalked over to the door and kicked it like he was kicking it in to get to the thing that had killed his mother. The place was old so it didn't take much for him to crack the wood and he just kicked it again, and then a third time as the hinges started to give away.
Inside the room, Jared scrambled to get away from the door. He lunged for the far wall and put his back to the corner, eyes huge in his face as he waited for the door to snap open. He panted, fear and adrenaline pumping through his veins making his cheeks heat and his jeans grow tight at the crotch. He actually flinched when the door slammed open and banged into the wall behind it.
Dean just leaned against the inside of the door frame and looked at Jared, blocking the way out and crossing his arms. "Okay, rule number one: don't ever fucking try to pull that childish stunt again, understand?" he demanded. "Rule number two: if I hated your guts, or thought less of you, I wouldn't be scared to say it to your sorry ass face like I'm doing now, so don't you ever stand there and tell me how I feel, what I feel or why, got it?" He shook his head and moved forward, crowding Jared into the corner. He leaned in but stayed far enough away so Jared was clear on the fact that he wasn't coming after him to hurt him. "And last: for now, when I speak to you, I expect you to listen.
“Last week I told you that I was falling for you, but then I'd see Sam and not see it anymore. I'm not an idiot, but you were right; my father would have killed you in your sleep, so maybe part of my believing that you were Sam was more self-induced than you could understand." Dean dropped his hands and looked at Jared, who now looked like he was about to piss himself. "Now get your ass in bed, lie down and let me take care of you before start bleeding all over the place again, okay?"
Jared nodded jerkily but didn’t move from his spot in the corner. His face flamed one moment and then paled the next only to go bright red again. He slid down the wall, tired and sore, with his legs kicked out in front of him, and stared at Dean as though he would snap at any moment if Jared moved the wrong way.
Dean shook his head and moved towards Jared slowly, like he was trying to get to an injured and scared street cat. He knelt down in front of the other boy and cupped his cheek. He was softer now because he knew that he had Jared's attention. "Jared, I'm never going to hurt you for any reason, ever, but I have limits just like anyone else. So, if I have to kick in a few doors to get you to snap out of whatever shithole you're trying to hide in, I will," he said honestly. "Come on," he said as he shifted to kneel next to Jared and help him up. "Relax, not going to hurt you," he repeated, trying to get Jared to the bed.
As though a switch had been flipped, Jared wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and buried his face in Dean’s shoulder, clinging to him like a limpet. “God, I thought you hated me. You kept yelling and then you got quiet and broody and then you left and I thought, fuck, Dean, I thought you were going to kill me when I came back.”
Dean pulled Jared in and held him as tightly as he thought was safe for Jared's injuries. "Jared, I was just mad, I don't hate you. I care about you very much. I just got mad because I didn't realize just how close you got to getting yourself killed on hunts, you know?" he tried to explain as he sat down to hold Jared a while before even trying to move him.
“I tried to be good, to do what I should, but I didn’t know what to do, and those things are so fucking scary that I just froze. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Jared sobbed into Dean’s shoulder. He shifted onto his knees and turned fully into Dean’s arms, pressing against him as if that would assure them both.
Dean pulled Jared in so Jared was sitting on his lap as Dean held him. Dean stroked Jared’s hair and talked softly into his ear, telling him that he was there and that it was going to be okay. Rubbing Jared’s back, Dean took a deep breath and nodded against Jared’s hair before kissing his temple. "I know, Jared, I know you did the best you could. I get that, but now we know and now we start doing what we have to do to make sure you’re safe. In my world and yours," he explained softly.
“I just want to stay right here, with you,” Jared confessed, teary-eyed. He pulled back to look Dean in the eye, only just realizing that he was astride Dean’s lap. He froze stiff, his back ridged and eyes wide and fearful. He ducked his head, shaking his hair down to hide his face so that Dean wouldn’t be reminded of who Jared looked like, and tried to wiggle out of Dean’s grasp.
Dean tightened his jaw and closed his eyes at Jared's words. He ran his hand down Jared's side and gripped him tighter when Jared tried to move away. "Please don't. Just stay here with me for a minute," Dean asked softly, brushing Jared's hair back out of his face and behind his ear. "I missed you."
Jared bowed his head and slumped into Dean’s neck, sighing heavily. He fisted his hands in the back of Dean’s shirt and clung to him, soaking up and reveling in just being in Dean’s arms. “God, this is all kinds of crazy,” he muttered, lips brushing Dean’s neck as he spoke. “I’ve been pretending to be your brother for months. I look just like him. I don’t see how this is going to work without freaking you out every time you look at me.”
"You're nothing like my brother though, really. I mean, looking at you, even without the cuts and the blood, there's something different. I don't know what it is, but…." Dean shrugged. "We'll work it out," he promised as he leaned back into the wall with his arms around Jared.
“The problem, though, is that I never know when I’m going back. It would be incredibly awkward for Sam to come back if we were kissing at the time, or sitting lumped together on the couch, or spooned up together in our sleep.” Jared sat back and looked at Dean through worried eyes, chewing his lower lip anxiously.
Dean frowned and looked up into Jared’s eyes. "Yeah, I know. I'm going to try and see what I can find out about this. Maybe we can find a way for you guys to control it or something." He shrugged a little and shook his head. "Come on, I want you to lie down," he said, trying to get Jared to stand up. "We'll talk but only once I have pain meds in you."
Jared climbed off of Dean’s lap and got to his feet. Already his muscles had stiffened up, aching worse after being so still. “I’m gonna be a giant bruise by morning,” he grumbled, toddling over to the bed and easing himself down onto his side.
Dean got up and moved over to the bed with a small smirk. "I'll get you something that will help. You allergic to medications or anything?" he asked as he leaned against the edge of the bed.
“The only allergy I’ve got is to milk products,” Jared murmured, smiling sheepishly. “That’s why I never opted for Mac and Cheese.”
"Now you tell me," Dean joked as he got up and left the room. They had all types of medication that Dean could give Jared, but he didn't want to give him something too strong. He finally settled on two codeine tablets to start out with, and if Jared needed something stronger later on they would deal with it then. He was tall enough to handle it so Dean was sure he'd be fine.
Taking the pills from his bag, Dean moved to the kitchen for water and to fill a small bag with ice. Once back in the bedroom he handed Jared two of the pills and the water before climbing into bed next to him.
Jared swallowed down the pills obediently, not even bothering to ask what they were, and then snuggled in close to Dean. “I got mom to show me how to make her famous barbecue sauce and she taught me how to make pulled pork,” he murmured. “I figured I could have her teach me so that we can have real food from time to time.” He tipped his head back to look at Dean, grinning. “Don’t even start with the wife comments. I can hear you thinking them.”
Dean turned on his side, his arm coming across Jared as he held him. He smiled gently. "Awesome. That's real meat instead of hotdogs," he answered as he laid his head back. "Don't worry, I won't treat you like the girl or anything," he teased as he got comfortable.
Jared stared up at Dean for another long moment and then pressed a quick, chaste kiss on the end of Dean’s chin before burying his flaming face in Dean’s chest. “I tried to get her to show me how to make things that don’t need a lot of prep work or crazy amounts of pans, or a crock pot, because I know we won’t really have those things where we go.”
Opening his eyes again, Dean looked down towards Jared before nodding. "Quick and easy is the way to go around here." His hand came up to run through Jared's hair and down his back. He nuzzled against Jared with a smile on his lips. "Besides it'll be good for you have real meals. Once I start teaching you to fight, you're going to need as much food as you can get."
“I’m already a bottomless pit,” Jared snorted. “If I eat much more, I’ll bankrupt a small country.”
"Just wait and see," Dean murmured, still rubbing Jared's back. "Why don't you get some sleep? We'll call pizza in or something tonight, okay?"
Jared burrowed in further, tentatively sliding an arm around Dean’s waist. “You’re just gonna wait until I’m sleeping and then leave me here, aren’t you?”
Dean tensed as though hurt by the question. "No, I planned on taking a nap with you. Why would you ask me something like that?"
Surprised, Jared leaned back to stare at Dean with wide eyes. “I was kidding, honest.” He gnawed on his lower lip again, the pink skin turning white where his teeth dug in.
Dean relaxed again and watched Jared. "Sorry, I thought you were still questioning the whole me liking you thing."
Jared’s cheeks went bright red and he ducked his head to hide his face. “I’m still not sure how this works,” he said quietly. “And I’m kind of nervous, to tell the truth. I haven’t, exactly, uh, done this before.”
Dean turned a little. "Which part?" he asked. "I mean, I get the whole time warp being new, but, I mean, you’ve never had a boyfriend or anything?"
“None of it,” Jared admitted. “There was a guy I liked back in middle school, but the furthest anything went was holding hands and hanging out more than normal.”
"You don't have to be nervous. I'm not going to push you into anything." Dean said. "And I know how to take my time if, well, if we get into all that."
“I’m not nervous because I think you wanna strip me down and fuck me silly, Dean,” Jared said, cheeks heating up further, ears even tinting pink. “I’m nervous because I feel so many things and I’m not exactly sure what they mean.”
"I can't really help you with that. Any of the feelings bad, though?"
“If you call wanting to kiss you every time I’m around you ‘bad’, then sure.” Jared gnawed on his lips some more, feeling awkward about saying things like that out loud, especially when talking to the person he wanted to kiss.
Dean shifted a little and moved down so he was eye level with Jared. He pressed his lips to the other boy's, carefully deepening the kiss as he cupped the back of Jared's neck and drew him in. He was careful because of the cut on Jared's bottom lip but still urged Jared to open his mouth. After a few moments he pushed back, green eyes opening slowly to take in Jared's expression. "Better?"
Glazed hazel-green eyes opened slowly, revealing thin rings of greenish brown around wide pits of black. Jared nodded absently, blinking slowly as though trying to find his way back from the euphoria he’d been lost in so briefly.
"Listen, Jared, I'm going to be honest with you. I've been with men before but I've never been with a man I saw more than once or twice. Not because I want to be some massive man-whore but because my job, well, you've seen how it is," Dean murmured baldly. "I'm new at this too, and it's going to suck balls but, fuck it, you know? Could be worth it."
Jared bit his lips together and nodded, snuggling back into Dean’s neck. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you, or I won’t be any good at it. But, I won’t ask for more than you can comfortably give, okay?”
"You won't disappoint me," he said. "My first time, I was scared out of my mind. Once you get over that you enjoy it." Dean frowned; the whole Sam-Jared thing would be hard. "You need to sleep. Please?"
“Okay,” Jared muttered, feeling a little sleepy now that the medicine had started to kick in. He still ached, but it felt far away. Slowly he relaxed and soon he was sleeping a calm, medicated sleep.
Dean remained awake for a while after Jared fell asleep. He shifted a little and watched Jared sleeping, making sure that he was comfortable. After some time, he slipped into his own relaxed sleep.
Part IV