[FIC] Half-Truths (SPN)
Title: Half-Truths
Authors: yahnkehy and shall0wbay
Disclaimer: Lies, all lies!
Warnings: Pre-series, AU, genderbending, incest, smut, demons, pregnancy and a partridge in a pear tree.
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex
Pairing/Characters: girl!Sam/Dean, OMC, John, Bobby, YED, Jessica Moore
Summary: Dean has never wanted kids. Ever. Fears them to the point that he runs from pregnant women. So when Sam comes home and announces that she's soon to be a mother, Dean's life gets flipped upside down. The world marches on, and secrets fester, boil over, and two crazy kids are caught in the storm.
Music: Why don't you and I By Santana and Chad Kroeger
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Chapter 6
In the end, the demon hadn’t been found. It had just vanished, never to make another appearance. Eventually, after a month of searching, John had finally decided that they were safe enough but to keep a close eye out from then on.
Life slowly went back to normal after that. The months passed and Sam finally left the diner on her maternity leave. She and Dean had argued for awhile about names, or rather, they argued because Dean refused to offer any advice, until Sam finally gave up and picked one out herself.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Sam bellowed, pain ripping through her middle. She gripped the sides of the hospital bed, head tipped back and straining as she fought through contractions. She’d refused the offer of drugs, swearing that she could do this without them. Right at that moment, however, she wasn’t so convinced. “Dean! Dean!” she called, tears in her voice and streaming down her face. She couldn’t do this without her brother with her, and John and Bobby had already declined coming in.
Dean was outside because he really wasn't needed in the room, the nurse even said so but that was before his sister had made it clear that she wasn't doing it alone. He had managed to stay in the hallway with his father and Bobby for the time being but even they could hear her yelling his name through the doors. He made an almost pained face only to have John and Bobby grab him by the arms and literally shove him through the double doors.
The nurse just inside gave him a gown thing to put on and he moved over towards the bed. Looking around, he could honestly say he was completely out of his element here. "Are you sure you don't want drugs?" he asked as he reached for her hand.
“Dean,” Sam sighed, sweat beading on her brow. “God, I want drugs, but… f-fuck.” She squeezed his hand as another contraction slammed into her and cords of muscle stood out in her neck. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” she panted as it crested and then slowly died off.
“We’re sorry, Mrs. Winchester, but it’s too late now. The drugs could hurt the baby,” a nurse said kindly, moving behind Dean to mop Sam’s brow.
Dean didn't know where he could touch her, if he could touch her, or what he could do for her. He held her hand though as she started to break his fingers. Christ, he'd taken hits from vampires but that was nothing compared to this. "God, are you sure?" he asked, looking at the nurse like she was insane for not pumping his sister full of everything they had in the hospital.
Sam whimpered and pulled Dean’s hand to her chest, hugging it like a lifeline. “No more kids, Dean. Promise me! God, this hurts so-” Another wave of pain crashed over her and she choked on the words.
“Samantha, I need you to start pushing, baby girl. Your son wants to see his parents,” Doctor Carver said brightly, settling at the foot of the bed between Sam’s raised and spread legs. The doctor was kind enough to draw a privacy blanket up over her.
"Can't you do something for her?" Dean asked, moving close to Sam and trying to comfort her but again lost as to how. "Sure, whatever you say," he promised her, ignoring the parent comment. "Come on, Sammie, you can do this."
Sam screwed up her face and cursed and swore and gripped Dean tighter, pulling him closer despite not being able to drag him into the bed with her. The doctor murmured soothing words and urged Sam to push through each of the contractions, talking Sam through the short lulls, and then urging her to push again.
All the while, Sam screamed. She started cursing every male in existence, and then took to swearing in several dead languages, then switched to calling everyone in the room’s parentage into question, and suggesting some things with animals that were probably not physically possible in ancient Sumarian.
Four and a half hours of pushing, and Jeffery Dean Winchester made his appearance in the world. And he screamed every bit as loudly as his mother. He pissed on Doctor Carver the moment she cut the umbilical cord, and only settled marginally when he’d been cleaned, weighed, and wrapped in tight blankets.
Sam finally relaxed and stopped screaming just in time for the baby to start. Dean made a face, looking over at the small being that the doctor was holding, which then changed to the nurse's arms. The poor thing changed colors so fast: white gunky and flecked with blood crap at first, then sallow pale bled into furious red as the kid screamed his head off. Definitely Sam’s kid, with a set of lungs like that.
Dean pressed his lips together, still close to Sam, and offered a soft smile as her eyes seemed to travel and landing on the baby. "You did good," he said, kissing her temple and rubbing her back again. He stepped out of the way as the nurse gave Sam the baby and he decided not to get involved there. Sam was too exhausted to be too grabby, but once the nurse got close enough, Sam took the baby in her arms and started crying.
Dean knew women were supposed to relax with their kids after giving birth and he needed to tell Bobby and their dad anyway but he hadn't made the move yet to leave the room. “Oh,” Sam whispered, gently stroking one finger along the baby’s flushed red cheek. “Such a handsome little man, just like…” she trailed off and her awed smile grew sad for a moment. “Hey, JD, when you get a little bigger, I’m gonna have to see if you can beat up grandpa. You certainly trained enough.”
Dean stayed close to her and gave her a few minutes without him bothering her. Finally he spoke to her. "Sammie, I'm going to let Bobby and John knew that you’re doing okay. You and the baby; I'll be right back, alright?"
Sam looked up at Dean with a watery smile and nodded. “Yeah, tell dad he’s finally a grandpa, and now the icky stuff is over so he can come in and see me, the coward.”
Dean grinned and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and those two try and boss us around, right?" he joked. As he turned to leave, the smile left his face a moment. That kid was… real and that was sort of a lot to take in even more for Sam, he could imagine.
John wasn't going in that room, he'd been through that twice before and it was enough. Besides, Sam wanted Dean; she had been screaming it the whole time. Still, he paced up and down the hallway like any father would whose baby was having a baby. He couldn't get over it, though he'd seen his daughter change over the last seven months.
Dean stepped out and looked down the hallway towards where Bobby and his father were. "Hey, she's doing good; both healthy. She said you can go in anytime you want."
Bobby shared a look with John and then started making tracks for the room. He might not have been Sam’s parent, but he’d known the girl since she’d been in diapers, and family didn’t end with blood. He poked his head in as the nurses went about cleaning up and checking on Sam and the baby, and then stepped inside. “Hey, kiddo, how’re you feeling?”
“Like I want a new body,” Sam joked and turned Jeffery Dean around so that Bobby could see him. “Uncle Bobby, meet your nephew; Jeffery Dean Winchester.”
John made his way into the room, glad to see Sam was looking good but tired. That he could understand. He smiled and shook his head, coming up behind Bobby. "He's beautiful, Sammie," he said, as he first laid eyes on his grandson. His grandson; John Winchester was a grandfather. He had never really expected that but this little person barely an hour old had made him so. He leaned down and kissed Sam on the forehead with a smile on his lips. "You did good, Sammie," he said, still looking the baby over, almost amazed by him.
“You wanna hold him? I think he just had his grandpa’s wanderlust and couldn’t stand being stuck in one spot,” Sam teased as Bobby moved aside for John to step forward.
John smiled. "Haven't held a baby in a long time," he said but moved forward nonetheless and reached for the baby. He held him gently, supporting his head. It was hard to believe that this baby hadn't been here yesterday and now here he was. "God, he looks so much like you when you were a baby and he has your mom's eyes." This he couldn't get over, after a good few minute of gushing he shook his head. "Bobby, you want a turn?" he asked.
“I was actually wondering whether you were going to break down into baby-talk and start making faces or not,” Bobby teased but took the baby carefully. “Damn, I’m too old to be learning new tricks,” he muttered, carefully taking the same grip on the baby that John had. “So, why Jeffery Dean? Why not Jonathan Dean?” he asked.
John rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, it isn't that new babies have been around for a while, you know?" he commented, moving to give Bobby some room once he had a hold of the baby.
“Because,” Sam cut in, stalling the grumbling, “at the time, I was going to save Jonathan for if I had another baby. But, after this experience, I’m good with just one.” Sam rubbed her face tiredly, but smiled all the same. “Where did Dean go? Off to get coffee?”
John licked his lips and looked back at Sam. “Come on, at some point this kid is going to need a sibling to keep him busy, believe me: I know," he joked as he looked towards the door, surprised to find Dean not in the room.
“Either he got coffee or he went to go get a cast for his hand. I heard you sort of broke a finger or two," John answered with a shrug, again something else he remembered from both Sam and Dean's births.
Sam’s face crumpled a bit, but then she mustered up a tired smile. “That’s okay. He’ll forgive me, eventually.” She dropped her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes.
Bobby looked on kind of sadly; he and Sam were the only two who knew that the kid was actually Dean’s, and he knew Dean well enough that the boy was both pissed that the kid supposedly belonged to someone else as well as being truly petrified of the fact that Sam had a kid at all. “How about you get some sleep, little girl? I’ll hand JD over to a nurse to take him to the nursery and let Dean know you’re sleeping if I see him, okay?”
John looked at Sam for a second unsure why she put it like that. Dean really hadn't shown any anger towards Sam, from what John had seen, yet he hadn't been around as much, either. Mainly after that damn demon had made itself known. He looked at Bobby and smiled. "I’ll take him until the nurse comes back," he said, deciding that Sam shouldn't be alone and that he wanted a second turn as it was.
“Yeah, yeah,” Bobby muttered and transferred JD over into John’s arms. He bent and scrubbed his fingers through Sam’s hair. “You done really good, Sammie. Real damn good.” He straightened and headed out of the room, intent on finding Dean.
John pulled a chair over closer to Sam's bedside before settling down with the baby.
Bobby made his way down the hall, peeking into waiting rooms and searching for the vending machines. Dean was at the far end of the waiting room, by a small window and he was just looking out over the small yard that the kid in the peewee ward were able to play in or the kids that were here visiting their parents. It was still sort of cold out but it was a warmer day today so he guessed that it didn't matter. He pressed lips together and just sort of stared, not seeing anything, just lost in his own thoughts.
“There you are, boy,” Bobby said as he came up behind Dean, clapping him on the shoulder.
Dean jumped some and turned to see Bobby. "Yeah, just need some air," he said. "And, you know, some quiet. Between Sam screaming and that kid, my ears were about to start bleeding," he joked.
“Neither one are screaming right now. In fact, your daddy is making a complete ass of himself over JD, and Sam is sleeping. She doesn’t look so good, but that could be because she just had a kid.” Bobby watched Dean’s face when he mentioned the baby, just trying to gauge the young man’s response. “JD’s got your daddy wrapped tight around his little finger. Guess he gets it from his momma, because his daddy’s an idiot.”
Dean looked back towards the window and pressed his lips together, looking down. "Yeah, I heard babies tend to do that to grandparents," he said before looking back at Bobby, but not saying anything for a long moment. "If you were me, how would you feel and how would you handle this?" he asked, looking for advice because he wanted to be there for Sam. Fuck, he even wanted to be comfortable with this… his family, but Dean Winchester helping to raise a kid? With the understanding that this kid was a result of his, now, wife fucking around while they were apart? "She'll make a great mom, but me…." He shook his head, making a face. Talk about none of this being part of the plan.
“You’re even more of an idiot than I thought,” Bobby said, exasperated. “Look, I’m not saying it can’t affect you that… that this kid isn’t yours by blood,” which was a filthy lie, “but think of it like this: you and Sam have a kid, and you’re the only daddy he’s ever gonna know. He’s gonna grow up knowing you’re his dad, and he’s gonna follow you like you followed John, and he’s gonna love you.”
Dean let his head hang for a second, sorry he’d asked. Taking care of Sam he could handle, but Sam was now full grown and Christ knew when he was helping to raise her he had fucked up a lot. More than he cared to admit. "Well, sorry I don't want to fucking ruin his freaking life," he snapped back. These were normal fears Dean was having. Not good enough, not making the right choices; of course there was also the fact that he was hurt about JD not being his, but he wouldn't tell Sam or Bobby that. Dean wasn't supposed to be a dad, this wasn't so suppose to be his life, yet here he was. He could do this though, right? He'd faked for Sammie, he could fake anything else, even if he felt like he was drowning in all of the changes just so far.
“Oh, shut up,” Bobby grumbled. “You don’t think Sam’s been worried that she’s going to screw this kid up? You think your daddy didn’t worry that he was going to screw up with you? Every parent on the freaking planet is petrified that they’re not going to measure up, that they’re going to warp their kid in some way. Guess what? It’s called trial and error. You’re not a kid anymore, and you’re slightly more responsible than you were when you were taking care of Sammie growing up. Go look in on Sam and rescue that damn kid from your daddy before the man turns into a drooling idiot.”
"When you put it like that…" The idea of having a kid looking at him like he looked at John sort of sent an insane feeling through him and it settled in his belly. Dean nodded and pushed himself to stand up straighter. "Yes, sir," he said, giving a mock salute as he headed back towards Sam's room.
Dean found her asleep and John seriously drooling like an idiot. After a few minutes he cleared his throat and just said the hell with it. "Hey, dad, you mind?" he asked, reaching for the baby.
John looked up and grudgingly handed over the baby. He got to his feet and stretched. “Best if you sit while you’re holding him,” he advised as he bent over the bed and kissed Sam’s forehead. She scrunched her nose in her sleep and turned her head, but didn’t otherwise wake. “They’re going to be here for at least another day. JD’s going to get circumcised in a few hours, and the doc wants to keep him to make sure there’s no infection.”
Between John and everyone else, this was going to be easily one of those times when everyone was trying to beat one another to their turn at holding the baby. John didn't want to give up his time with his grandson and Dean was trying to get used to his new son.
Dean sat down and looked at his father like he was slightly insane. He knew at least how to hold a baby, thank you. He bit his bottom lip and looked over the little boy in his arms and sort of started to understand what all the fuss was about. He smiled to himself, not even realizing how closely he was studying the baby.
Bobby was keeping John occupied, talking about toys for the baby and when the best time to start training and learning languages was. He could see that Dean needed a minute to fall in love, and the slim glint of tired green eyes under Sam’s lashes meant she was watching it happen.
John couldn't help it; he was happy. He hadn't been happy that his eighteen year old daughter was having a child and he still didn't like how young she was or the fact that the father wasn't around, at least as far as he knew. He laughed. "The kid will be speaking more Latin than English by the time we're done with him," he joked.
JD was beautiful and Dean sort of forgot to listen to anything John or Bobby was saying as he looked JD over. He licked his lips and leaned back, being very gentle, almost fearful of doing something wrong, but going on instinct. "Wow," he mumbled, more to himself more than anyone else in the room.
Tired eyes slid open at the quiet tone of Dean’s voice. Sam gazed at her husband fondly, watching as he tuned everything out but the baby in his arms. “You’re good at that,” she whispered, reaching a hand out to touch Dean’s knee.
Dean shifted without taking his eyes from the baby as he smiled softly. The baby blinked a few times and Dean assumed he was going to be falling asleep soon like his mother was. Finally his attention was brought elsewhere, by the only other person in the room who could possibly get his attention. He looked back at her. "Yeah, I'm a natural, right?" he joked. "You feeling okay?"
Sam’s lips turned up in a smile and she squeezed Dean’s knee weakly. “I’ll be okay. I just need some sleep and some pain meds. Be sure to take dad and Bobby with you when you go home, okay? I don’t want them exhausting themselves watching me sleep.”
“Come on, Winchester; let’s get some food. We’ve been here twelve hours without a bite to eat. And I need some coffee.” Bobby tugged on John’s arm and then let go to pat Sam’s knee as he went to the door and held it open, pointedly waiting for John to leave with him.
John moved over to the bed and kissed Sam on the forehead before moving out and heading towards the door. "Screw the coffee, I want a beer," he said, gently brushing his fingers gently over the baby and Dean's shoulder before following Bobby out.
"I'll tell the nurse when she comes in," Dean assured her. "You don't want me to stay with you?" he asked, watching her a moment. He knew she was about to pass out any moment and he didn't want to keep her awake because she needed sleep after all this.
“No, no; I want you here, I just… it’s not going to be much fun sitting here watching me sleep.” Sam squeezed Dean’s knee again. “I’d rather you crawled up in bed with me so I could sleep, but that might be a little awkward seeing as how I’m sore from my neck to my toes at the moment.”
Dean shifted, trying to move closer to Sam but not really able to with the baby in his arms. "You'll feel better after some sleep," he said with a soft and small smile. "Go to sleep, Sam. I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"
“You really do look adorable right now,” Sam murmured and let her lids slide closed again. “Badass and strong and perfect, but still soft enough to look… comfortable, holding… our… son,” she trailed off, words slurred and heavy with sleep as Morpheus finally dragged her down into velvet sleep.
Dean rolled his eyes at the first few comments. Baby or no baby he was still badass, damn it! He looked back at her and tensed at the last bit of her words. They caught him off guard but he pushed the thought out of his mind, or at least tired. Bobby even said that the kid was theirs, right? Nothing new about that. JD was looking up at him and Dean couldn’t help but look back, kissing his forehead and moving the blanket a little tighter around the baby so he could sleep.
Next
Back
Authors: yahnkehy and shall0wbay
Disclaimer: Lies, all lies!
Warnings: Pre-series, AU, genderbending, incest, smut, demons, pregnancy and a partridge in a pear tree.
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex
Pairing/Characters: girl!Sam/Dean, OMC, John, Bobby, YED, Jessica Moore
Summary: Dean has never wanted kids. Ever. Fears them to the point that he runs from pregnant women. So when Sam comes home and announces that she's soon to be a mother, Dean's life gets flipped upside down. The world marches on, and secrets fester, boil over, and two crazy kids are caught in the storm.
Music: Why don't you and I By Santana and Chad Kroeger
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Chapter 6
In the end, the demon hadn’t been found. It had just vanished, never to make another appearance. Eventually, after a month of searching, John had finally decided that they were safe enough but to keep a close eye out from then on.
Life slowly went back to normal after that. The months passed and Sam finally left the diner on her maternity leave. She and Dean had argued for awhile about names, or rather, they argued because Dean refused to offer any advice, until Sam finally gave up and picked one out herself.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Sam bellowed, pain ripping through her middle. She gripped the sides of the hospital bed, head tipped back and straining as she fought through contractions. She’d refused the offer of drugs, swearing that she could do this without them. Right at that moment, however, she wasn’t so convinced. “Dean! Dean!” she called, tears in her voice and streaming down her face. She couldn’t do this without her brother with her, and John and Bobby had already declined coming in.
Dean was outside because he really wasn't needed in the room, the nurse even said so but that was before his sister had made it clear that she wasn't doing it alone. He had managed to stay in the hallway with his father and Bobby for the time being but even they could hear her yelling his name through the doors. He made an almost pained face only to have John and Bobby grab him by the arms and literally shove him through the double doors.
The nurse just inside gave him a gown thing to put on and he moved over towards the bed. Looking around, he could honestly say he was completely out of his element here. "Are you sure you don't want drugs?" he asked as he reached for her hand.
“Dean,” Sam sighed, sweat beading on her brow. “God, I want drugs, but… f-fuck.” She squeezed his hand as another contraction slammed into her and cords of muscle stood out in her neck. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” she panted as it crested and then slowly died off.
“We’re sorry, Mrs. Winchester, but it’s too late now. The drugs could hurt the baby,” a nurse said kindly, moving behind Dean to mop Sam’s brow.
Dean didn't know where he could touch her, if he could touch her, or what he could do for her. He held her hand though as she started to break his fingers. Christ, he'd taken hits from vampires but that was nothing compared to this. "God, are you sure?" he asked, looking at the nurse like she was insane for not pumping his sister full of everything they had in the hospital.
Sam whimpered and pulled Dean’s hand to her chest, hugging it like a lifeline. “No more kids, Dean. Promise me! God, this hurts so-” Another wave of pain crashed over her and she choked on the words.
“Samantha, I need you to start pushing, baby girl. Your son wants to see his parents,” Doctor Carver said brightly, settling at the foot of the bed between Sam’s raised and spread legs. The doctor was kind enough to draw a privacy blanket up over her.
"Can't you do something for her?" Dean asked, moving close to Sam and trying to comfort her but again lost as to how. "Sure, whatever you say," he promised her, ignoring the parent comment. "Come on, Sammie, you can do this."
Sam screwed up her face and cursed and swore and gripped Dean tighter, pulling him closer despite not being able to drag him into the bed with her. The doctor murmured soothing words and urged Sam to push through each of the contractions, talking Sam through the short lulls, and then urging her to push again.
All the while, Sam screamed. She started cursing every male in existence, and then took to swearing in several dead languages, then switched to calling everyone in the room’s parentage into question, and suggesting some things with animals that were probably not physically possible in ancient Sumarian.
Four and a half hours of pushing, and Jeffery Dean Winchester made his appearance in the world. And he screamed every bit as loudly as his mother. He pissed on Doctor Carver the moment she cut the umbilical cord, and only settled marginally when he’d been cleaned, weighed, and wrapped in tight blankets.
Sam finally relaxed and stopped screaming just in time for the baby to start. Dean made a face, looking over at the small being that the doctor was holding, which then changed to the nurse's arms. The poor thing changed colors so fast: white gunky and flecked with blood crap at first, then sallow pale bled into furious red as the kid screamed his head off. Definitely Sam’s kid, with a set of lungs like that.
Dean pressed his lips together, still close to Sam, and offered a soft smile as her eyes seemed to travel and landing on the baby. "You did good," he said, kissing her temple and rubbing her back again. He stepped out of the way as the nurse gave Sam the baby and he decided not to get involved there. Sam was too exhausted to be too grabby, but once the nurse got close enough, Sam took the baby in her arms and started crying.
Dean knew women were supposed to relax with their kids after giving birth and he needed to tell Bobby and their dad anyway but he hadn't made the move yet to leave the room. “Oh,” Sam whispered, gently stroking one finger along the baby’s flushed red cheek. “Such a handsome little man, just like…” she trailed off and her awed smile grew sad for a moment. “Hey, JD, when you get a little bigger, I’m gonna have to see if you can beat up grandpa. You certainly trained enough.”
Dean stayed close to her and gave her a few minutes without him bothering her. Finally he spoke to her. "Sammie, I'm going to let Bobby and John knew that you’re doing okay. You and the baby; I'll be right back, alright?"
Sam looked up at Dean with a watery smile and nodded. “Yeah, tell dad he’s finally a grandpa, and now the icky stuff is over so he can come in and see me, the coward.”
Dean grinned and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and those two try and boss us around, right?" he joked. As he turned to leave, the smile left his face a moment. That kid was… real and that was sort of a lot to take in even more for Sam, he could imagine.
John wasn't going in that room, he'd been through that twice before and it was enough. Besides, Sam wanted Dean; she had been screaming it the whole time. Still, he paced up and down the hallway like any father would whose baby was having a baby. He couldn't get over it, though he'd seen his daughter change over the last seven months.
Dean stepped out and looked down the hallway towards where Bobby and his father were. "Hey, she's doing good; both healthy. She said you can go in anytime you want."
Bobby shared a look with John and then started making tracks for the room. He might not have been Sam’s parent, but he’d known the girl since she’d been in diapers, and family didn’t end with blood. He poked his head in as the nurses went about cleaning up and checking on Sam and the baby, and then stepped inside. “Hey, kiddo, how’re you feeling?”
“Like I want a new body,” Sam joked and turned Jeffery Dean around so that Bobby could see him. “Uncle Bobby, meet your nephew; Jeffery Dean Winchester.”
John made his way into the room, glad to see Sam was looking good but tired. That he could understand. He smiled and shook his head, coming up behind Bobby. "He's beautiful, Sammie," he said, as he first laid eyes on his grandson. His grandson; John Winchester was a grandfather. He had never really expected that but this little person barely an hour old had made him so. He leaned down and kissed Sam on the forehead with a smile on his lips. "You did good, Sammie," he said, still looking the baby over, almost amazed by him.
“You wanna hold him? I think he just had his grandpa’s wanderlust and couldn’t stand being stuck in one spot,” Sam teased as Bobby moved aside for John to step forward.
John smiled. "Haven't held a baby in a long time," he said but moved forward nonetheless and reached for the baby. He held him gently, supporting his head. It was hard to believe that this baby hadn't been here yesterday and now here he was. "God, he looks so much like you when you were a baby and he has your mom's eyes." This he couldn't get over, after a good few minute of gushing he shook his head. "Bobby, you want a turn?" he asked.
“I was actually wondering whether you were going to break down into baby-talk and start making faces or not,” Bobby teased but took the baby carefully. “Damn, I’m too old to be learning new tricks,” he muttered, carefully taking the same grip on the baby that John had. “So, why Jeffery Dean? Why not Jonathan Dean?” he asked.
John rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, it isn't that new babies have been around for a while, you know?" he commented, moving to give Bobby some room once he had a hold of the baby.
“Because,” Sam cut in, stalling the grumbling, “at the time, I was going to save Jonathan for if I had another baby. But, after this experience, I’m good with just one.” Sam rubbed her face tiredly, but smiled all the same. “Where did Dean go? Off to get coffee?”
John licked his lips and looked back at Sam. “Come on, at some point this kid is going to need a sibling to keep him busy, believe me: I know," he joked as he looked towards the door, surprised to find Dean not in the room.
“Either he got coffee or he went to go get a cast for his hand. I heard you sort of broke a finger or two," John answered with a shrug, again something else he remembered from both Sam and Dean's births.
Sam’s face crumpled a bit, but then she mustered up a tired smile. “That’s okay. He’ll forgive me, eventually.” She dropped her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes.
Bobby looked on kind of sadly; he and Sam were the only two who knew that the kid was actually Dean’s, and he knew Dean well enough that the boy was both pissed that the kid supposedly belonged to someone else as well as being truly petrified of the fact that Sam had a kid at all. “How about you get some sleep, little girl? I’ll hand JD over to a nurse to take him to the nursery and let Dean know you’re sleeping if I see him, okay?”
John looked at Sam for a second unsure why she put it like that. Dean really hadn't shown any anger towards Sam, from what John had seen, yet he hadn't been around as much, either. Mainly after that damn demon had made itself known. He looked at Bobby and smiled. "I’ll take him until the nurse comes back," he said, deciding that Sam shouldn't be alone and that he wanted a second turn as it was.
“Yeah, yeah,” Bobby muttered and transferred JD over into John’s arms. He bent and scrubbed his fingers through Sam’s hair. “You done really good, Sammie. Real damn good.” He straightened and headed out of the room, intent on finding Dean.
John pulled a chair over closer to Sam's bedside before settling down with the baby.
Bobby made his way down the hall, peeking into waiting rooms and searching for the vending machines. Dean was at the far end of the waiting room, by a small window and he was just looking out over the small yard that the kid in the peewee ward were able to play in or the kids that were here visiting their parents. It was still sort of cold out but it was a warmer day today so he guessed that it didn't matter. He pressed lips together and just sort of stared, not seeing anything, just lost in his own thoughts.
“There you are, boy,” Bobby said as he came up behind Dean, clapping him on the shoulder.
Dean jumped some and turned to see Bobby. "Yeah, just need some air," he said. "And, you know, some quiet. Between Sam screaming and that kid, my ears were about to start bleeding," he joked.
“Neither one are screaming right now. In fact, your daddy is making a complete ass of himself over JD, and Sam is sleeping. She doesn’t look so good, but that could be because she just had a kid.” Bobby watched Dean’s face when he mentioned the baby, just trying to gauge the young man’s response. “JD’s got your daddy wrapped tight around his little finger. Guess he gets it from his momma, because his daddy’s an idiot.”
Dean looked back towards the window and pressed his lips together, looking down. "Yeah, I heard babies tend to do that to grandparents," he said before looking back at Bobby, but not saying anything for a long moment. "If you were me, how would you feel and how would you handle this?" he asked, looking for advice because he wanted to be there for Sam. Fuck, he even wanted to be comfortable with this… his family, but Dean Winchester helping to raise a kid? With the understanding that this kid was a result of his, now, wife fucking around while they were apart? "She'll make a great mom, but me…." He shook his head, making a face. Talk about none of this being part of the plan.
“You’re even more of an idiot than I thought,” Bobby said, exasperated. “Look, I’m not saying it can’t affect you that… that this kid isn’t yours by blood,” which was a filthy lie, “but think of it like this: you and Sam have a kid, and you’re the only daddy he’s ever gonna know. He’s gonna grow up knowing you’re his dad, and he’s gonna follow you like you followed John, and he’s gonna love you.”
Dean let his head hang for a second, sorry he’d asked. Taking care of Sam he could handle, but Sam was now full grown and Christ knew when he was helping to raise her he had fucked up a lot. More than he cared to admit. "Well, sorry I don't want to fucking ruin his freaking life," he snapped back. These were normal fears Dean was having. Not good enough, not making the right choices; of course there was also the fact that he was hurt about JD not being his, but he wouldn't tell Sam or Bobby that. Dean wasn't supposed to be a dad, this wasn't so suppose to be his life, yet here he was. He could do this though, right? He'd faked for Sammie, he could fake anything else, even if he felt like he was drowning in all of the changes just so far.
“Oh, shut up,” Bobby grumbled. “You don’t think Sam’s been worried that she’s going to screw this kid up? You think your daddy didn’t worry that he was going to screw up with you? Every parent on the freaking planet is petrified that they’re not going to measure up, that they’re going to warp their kid in some way. Guess what? It’s called trial and error. You’re not a kid anymore, and you’re slightly more responsible than you were when you were taking care of Sammie growing up. Go look in on Sam and rescue that damn kid from your daddy before the man turns into a drooling idiot.”
"When you put it like that…" The idea of having a kid looking at him like he looked at John sort of sent an insane feeling through him and it settled in his belly. Dean nodded and pushed himself to stand up straighter. "Yes, sir," he said, giving a mock salute as he headed back towards Sam's room.
Dean found her asleep and John seriously drooling like an idiot. After a few minutes he cleared his throat and just said the hell with it. "Hey, dad, you mind?" he asked, reaching for the baby.
John looked up and grudgingly handed over the baby. He got to his feet and stretched. “Best if you sit while you’re holding him,” he advised as he bent over the bed and kissed Sam’s forehead. She scrunched her nose in her sleep and turned her head, but didn’t otherwise wake. “They’re going to be here for at least another day. JD’s going to get circumcised in a few hours, and the doc wants to keep him to make sure there’s no infection.”
Between John and everyone else, this was going to be easily one of those times when everyone was trying to beat one another to their turn at holding the baby. John didn't want to give up his time with his grandson and Dean was trying to get used to his new son.
Dean sat down and looked at his father like he was slightly insane. He knew at least how to hold a baby, thank you. He bit his bottom lip and looked over the little boy in his arms and sort of started to understand what all the fuss was about. He smiled to himself, not even realizing how closely he was studying the baby.
Bobby was keeping John occupied, talking about toys for the baby and when the best time to start training and learning languages was. He could see that Dean needed a minute to fall in love, and the slim glint of tired green eyes under Sam’s lashes meant she was watching it happen.
John couldn't help it; he was happy. He hadn't been happy that his eighteen year old daughter was having a child and he still didn't like how young she was or the fact that the father wasn't around, at least as far as he knew. He laughed. "The kid will be speaking more Latin than English by the time we're done with him," he joked.
JD was beautiful and Dean sort of forgot to listen to anything John or Bobby was saying as he looked JD over. He licked his lips and leaned back, being very gentle, almost fearful of doing something wrong, but going on instinct. "Wow," he mumbled, more to himself more than anyone else in the room.
Tired eyes slid open at the quiet tone of Dean’s voice. Sam gazed at her husband fondly, watching as he tuned everything out but the baby in his arms. “You’re good at that,” she whispered, reaching a hand out to touch Dean’s knee.
Dean shifted without taking his eyes from the baby as he smiled softly. The baby blinked a few times and Dean assumed he was going to be falling asleep soon like his mother was. Finally his attention was brought elsewhere, by the only other person in the room who could possibly get his attention. He looked back at her. "Yeah, I'm a natural, right?" he joked. "You feeling okay?"
Sam’s lips turned up in a smile and she squeezed Dean’s knee weakly. “I’ll be okay. I just need some sleep and some pain meds. Be sure to take dad and Bobby with you when you go home, okay? I don’t want them exhausting themselves watching me sleep.”
“Come on, Winchester; let’s get some food. We’ve been here twelve hours without a bite to eat. And I need some coffee.” Bobby tugged on John’s arm and then let go to pat Sam’s knee as he went to the door and held it open, pointedly waiting for John to leave with him.
John moved over to the bed and kissed Sam on the forehead before moving out and heading towards the door. "Screw the coffee, I want a beer," he said, gently brushing his fingers gently over the baby and Dean's shoulder before following Bobby out.
"I'll tell the nurse when she comes in," Dean assured her. "You don't want me to stay with you?" he asked, watching her a moment. He knew she was about to pass out any moment and he didn't want to keep her awake because she needed sleep after all this.
“No, no; I want you here, I just… it’s not going to be much fun sitting here watching me sleep.” Sam squeezed Dean’s knee again. “I’d rather you crawled up in bed with me so I could sleep, but that might be a little awkward seeing as how I’m sore from my neck to my toes at the moment.”
Dean shifted, trying to move closer to Sam but not really able to with the baby in his arms. "You'll feel better after some sleep," he said with a soft and small smile. "Go to sleep, Sam. I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"
“You really do look adorable right now,” Sam murmured and let her lids slide closed again. “Badass and strong and perfect, but still soft enough to look… comfortable, holding… our… son,” she trailed off, words slurred and heavy with sleep as Morpheus finally dragged her down into velvet sleep.
Dean rolled his eyes at the first few comments. Baby or no baby he was still badass, damn it! He looked back at her and tensed at the last bit of her words. They caught him off guard but he pushed the thought out of his mind, or at least tired. Bobby even said that the kid was theirs, right? Nothing new about that. JD was looking up at him and Dean couldn’t help but look back, kissing his forehead and moving the blanket a little tighter around the baby so he could sleep.
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