[FIC] Half-Truths (SPN)
Title: Half-Truths
Authors: yahnkehy and shall0wbay
Disclaimer: Lies, all lies!
Warnings: Pre-series, AU, genderbending, incest, smut, demons, pregnancy and a partridge in a pear tree.
Pairing/Characters: girl!Sam/Dean, OMC, John, Bobby, YED, Jessica Moore
Summary: Dean has never wanted kids. Ever. Fears them to the point that he runs from pregnant women. So when Sam comes home and announces that she's soon to be a mother, Dean's life gets flipped upside down. The world marches on, and secrets fester, boil over, and two crazy kids are caught in the storm.
Music: Why don't you and I By Santana and Chad Kroeger
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Half-Truths
Prologue:
Sam had taken that stupid test five times with Jessica standing right there, offering support and comfort. And every damn one of them had come up positive.
“What the hell am I gonna do? I can’t tell him, Jess. He’d flip out.” Sam paced and looked at the neatly arranged test sticks on a paper towel on the counter, lip quivering at the bright pink tips that seemed to mock and sneer.
“You’ve got to tell him, Sam. You can’t do this on your own, and school with a gigantic pregnant belly isn’t going to be an option. Call him.” Jess folded her arms over her chest and glared reprovingly at her roommate. “I mean it, Samantha. I will call him myself if I have to.”
Sam hung her head and sighed helplessly. “I hate you,” she muttered and trudged out of the bathroom.
“And throw those things away. They give me the creeps,” Jess called after Sam as the other girl headed into the bedroom to get her cell phone.
“Yeah, yeah.” Sam’s mind wasn’t on getting rid of the tests, however. Her mind was on finding a way to tell her big brother that he knocked her up. She scrolled through the sadly short list of contacts and found Dean’s name. Her thumb hovered over the send button for a moment and then she pressed it and held it to her ear with a shaking hand.
Dean shifted on the Bobby's couch as he reached to fish his cell phone out of his jeans pocket. They had been here for about three days and it was getting kind of old; he wanted to be out and hunting, not reading his life away like they had been. It was mainly because, since his sister left, that he’d been unable to sit still for more than five seconds, let alone stay in one state for that much longer.
He looked down at the caller ID and raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of the devil," Dean mumbled, flipping his phone open and adjusting the book on his lap, glancing at it like he would much rather throw it out the damn window. "Hey, Sammie; what's up?" he asked.
Sam was silent on the line for a minute, just listening to Dean breathe. It was scary how badly she’d missed his voice, and tears stung her eyes now. “Come get me, Dean. Oh God, please, just come get me,” she whispered, breath catching in a sob.
Dean sat up, the laziness put out of his body before he was up all the way. He went edged at the panic in her voice. "Sam, what's matter? What happened?" he demanded, pushing himself up to find his jacket and his keys. Bobby and dad were out somewhere, Dean really hadn't been paying attention to where they said they were going, but it didn't matter; he was going to get Sammie.
“I… I’m,” Sam swallowed the words, panic twisting in her gut hard enough to make her want to heave. “I miss you, I can’t do this; come get me.”
Dean stopped in his tracks, confused for a second before shaking his head. "Sam, if you're homesick or you miss me I'll come to visit you but you can't just turn your back on school. I mean, you worked your ass off to get there," he said, still looking for his jacket. "Believe me, I miss you too but are you sure about what you’re saying?"
A shuddery breath was Sam’s answer at first, too shaken by the thought of Dean leaving her behind while she was in this mess. “Something… something happened. I can’t tell you about it, Dean. I just need you to come and get me. I can’t stay here.”
"Sam, what happened?!" Dean demanded. This was Sam they were talking about and Dean had a right to know everything that happened to Sam, even if she didn't want to tell him or claimed that she couldn't. All he could assume was that someone had hurt her and in that case he was packing a fucking gun. Finding his jacket with the keys in the pocket, he headed out the back door without bothering to lock up.
“Please, please don’t ask me that. I can’t tell you, it’s… it’s too big. Please, Dean, please come get me.” Sam sobbed openly now, and Jess came into the room to sit beside her on the bed, rubbing her back gently and crooning softly in the background.
"Okay, okay, Sam; calm down. I'll be there by tomorrow, okay?" Dean promised, getting into the car and slamming the door before starting her up and peeling out of Bobby's junkyard. Okay, Stanford was about a solid day's drive away but Dean would make it in record time, he always did. She scared him, actually; since when was there something that Sam couldn’t tell him?
Sam sniffled as she closed the cell phone and turned in Jessica’s embrace, clinging to her tightly. “He’s coming for me,” she whispered.
“It’ll be okay, honey. Just calm down and try to sleep.” Jess stroked Sam’s hair, cut short and pixish about her face.
“I didn’t tell him,” Sam confessed softly.
“He’ll find out soon enough; you can’t hide it forever.” Jessica’s words rolled through Sam’s mind. That was exactly the problem.
Dean stopped just outside of Sam's dorm and headed inside. He had stopped twice getting here, for gas and to piss and that was about it. He hadn't been here since he had dropped Sam off for school, at the time he had hated the place because he was leaving Sam here and now he hated it because he didn't know what the fuck had happened here to his sister.
Getting out of the car, Dean headed inside and found Sam's room number and started banging on the door. He was tense and scared; he didn't like the tone in her voice and he had gone through panic, anger and back to panic pretty much throughout the whole trip to the school. Sam had always been about going to school and he couldn't understand her just turning her back on it all of a sudden. After that drive he should be tired but he was pumped with adrenaline. Knocking a second time, he added overly impatient to the list.
When Sam opened the door her eyes were red rimmed and her newly cut hair was in wild disarray, sticking up on one side while lying flat on the other. She blinked and then lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. “Oh god,” she gasped, pressing tightly against him, trembling with both nerves and fear. “I’m packed up and ready, just… give me a second.” She didn’t release her grip on him, and tried to push harder against his chest, as though he could absorb the terror clawing at her chest.
Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and held her tightly. She was shaking so bad that Dean was beside himself, he had no idea what was wrong. He licked his lips and rubbed her back. "Sam, talk to me. What's wrong? Who do I have to kill?" he asked; he could only assume that someone had done something and she wasn't giving him any answers so at this point the whole fucking campus was on his hit list.
Sam just tucked her face in his neck and breathed him in, taking comfort in the fact that he was there and in her arms again. Nothing could be totally wrong as long as Dean was there. “Can we talk about this later? No one here… no one did anything to me, Dean. I’m… I’ll be okay, I just need time.”
This shit wasn't going to fly; Dean always took care of Sam and he wasn't going to be left in the dark for long about this. He wanted answers but he didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to Sam being this fucking emotional. "Sam…" he trailed off, shaking his head as he pulled back and sighed, "Fine, I'll get you out of here but you have to promise to tell me what's going on. Promise?"
“Yeah, I promise. I’ll tell you, but not right now. Not yet, okay?” Sam looked up at Dean through tear-spiked lashes, praying that he wouldn’t push until she was ready. “I swear on mom, Dean. I’ll tell you.”
Dean nodded and looked back at Sam, touched a hand to her cheek gently. "Alright, then let's go. Where's your stuff?" he asked, stepping into the dorm room.
Sam followed Dean inside and moved around him to her bed where the laptop she’d bought at a secondhand store sat beside her old, worn duffle bag. She slung them up onto her shoulder and swiped away the tears that dripped down her cheeks, and then turned to look at the room wistfully. Jess had already gone to class, and there was nothing else of Sam’s in the room. She was going to miss this; the studying, classes, chats with Jessica. With a last longing look, she turned and tried to smile for Dean, to calm his worries. “Where’d you park?”
The fake smile didn't work but Dean didn't say anything. He reached for her bags and took them to carry them out for her. "Pretty much on the sidewalk," he admitted with a shrug and he wasn't lying either; when it came to Sam he tended to do it on a sort of obsessive level. He watched her carefully for a second, he didn't really think she wanted to go but trying to get her to talk wasn't going to happen so… on with the show. "Come on," he offered, reaching for her hand.
A real smile broke out over Sam’s lips, pushing her dimples in deep; there was the Dean she knew and loved. She looked at her feet for a moment and then took his hand, walking out the door with him. College wasn’t in the plan anymore, couldn’t be, but she had Dean so the world hadn’t completely ended. “Can I pick the music?” she asked tentatively, bumping her shoulder against Dean’s.
He smiled back but it was still unsure and sad; he knew something was wrong, obviously, but he just wanted to get her out of here and they could figure out the rest later. As they headed out, Dean rolled his eyes at her request. "Fine, but no pop music," he joked, still holding her hand as they headed out of the building. He was waiting to get half way to Bobby's only to have her ask him to turn around, but they’d see what happened, he guessed.
“Aw, dude! Come on, just one song by Celine Dion?” Sam wheedled, waiting for Dean’s standing ‘driver picks the music’ slogan.
"No seriously, I won't allow it," Dean answered as they reached the car, which wasn't exactly parked on the sidewalk but close enough. He shrugged at his shitty parking job and threw Sam’s bag in the back before getting in.
A small laugh escaped and Sam got in on the passenger’s side. She settled comfortably into the seat, the smell of home, and Dean, and safe filling her nose and allowing her jangled nerves to ease off. She unconsciously settled a hand over her belly and turned in her seat, putting her back against the door and her feet on Dean’s thigh. “Where are we going? And where’s dad? Is… is he still pissed at me?”
Dean turned the car back on and headed back onto the street. "We've been at Bobby's the last few days so we’re going there for now. And dad… honestly; he told me where he was going but I wasn't paying attention." He shrugged as he turned the wheel, heading down a side street, and made a face. "He's always pissed at something, but when you left it was more him being scared about you being on your own, so I'm sure he'll be fine once he sees you're alive and back."
Sam tipped her head back against the window glass and sighed. “After he rubs it in my face that I’m a failure at dealing without you guys, of course. He’ll probably make me run a shit-ton of PT and do drills until I fall down just to make me pay for leaving in the first place.” She kicked off the strappy sandals, adjusted the short jean shorts a bit, and propped one elbow up on the car door. Her hair was still a mess, and she ran her hands through it to calm it into something resembling sanity.
Dean shrugged. "Sam you're an adult, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and that also means taking crap for him,” he said after a second. He and their dad had normally always gotten along but after John blew up at Sam and Sam was away at college… well, Dean started seeing more and more of his sister's points. He guessed it was partly because he missed her so much it made him sick to his stomach. He licked his lips and looked back at her.
“It wasn’t like I was leaving forever, though. I was going to get my degree and become a lawyer so that we wouldn’t have to worry about the police so much anymore.” The strap on the tank top she wore slid down the lightly tanned skin of her shoulder and Sam absently fixed it. “You know I’d never leave you forever.”
"Yeah, I know," he answered. He knew that Sam wasn't turning her back on them. John may have seen it that way at first, but Dean hadn't. Sam need to do what was right for her and if that meant being away from them, he wasn't going to stand in the way of it.
That assurance brought a wide, happy smile to Sam’s face and she shifted around in her seat, turning so that she could drape one leg over the back of the seat, drop the other into the floorboard, and rest her head on Dean’s thigh. “That’s why I love you, Dean; you let me do what I feel I have to and don’t hate me for it.”
"Eh, could never hate you," Dean said honestly, looking down at her for a second before putting his eyes back on the road. He surprised that his phone wasn't ring off the hook yet. Between Bobby and their dad, they tended to get about as obsessive as Dean was with Sam. It may have been a good idea to warn them that Sam was coming but Dean was fairly sure the message would get across when they saw her there.
Chapter 1
When Dean and Sam pulled up into Bobby’s yard, they were greeted with the sight of Bobby and John standing out on the porch and looking royally pissed off. “Well, this looks like it’s going to be a party and a half. Can we tell them I got homesick and was so worried about you guys that I just couldn’t stay?” Sam asked, squeezing Dean’s wrist as they slowed to a stop. “Don’t tell them I called you crying, or I’ll never live it down.”
Dean looked over at the two men standing there with obvious attitude and rolled his eyes. Okay, he had done way too much driving in the last two days to want to deal with this but whatever. Better to get it over with right? "Yeah, I think I can keep that secret," he offered, leaning back before getting out of the car.
Car gone and no word; what the fuck? John was not the type of man who dealt with being out of the loop well at all and he was going to wring his son's neck once he got a hold of him. As the car pulled up he stalked towards it, his eyes narrowed. "Where the fuck…." He stopped short before he could finish the sentence. He was taken aback by the sight of his daughter, who he hadn't seen in several months and who he hadn't been expecting to see, either. "What in the hell is going on here?" he demanded. Sam had made such a huge stink about leaving yet here she was and of course John was too pissed off to even be happy about the fact.
Sam carefully got out of the car, but kept the door in front of her. “I was homesick, and scared that something would happen to you and I’d never find out.” God, the lie stuck in her throat. Well, it was a partial lie; she’d missed them terribly and had worried that something would happen and she’d never know, but that wasn’t why she was there.
“Like I’d let that happen, Samantha,” Bobby chimed in from his place on the porch, arms folded over his chest. “You get your skinny ass in this house and stop dragging your idjut brother all over the place. He looks like he’s about to fall over. John, bitch later; hug your goddamn daughter.”
Dean rolled his eyes and had a strong desire to kick his father, as childish as it might sound, but he just grabbed Sam's bag out of the back of the car. He licked his lip and look between his father and sister waiting for the fireworks to fly because they always did. He looked up at Bobby but didn't say anything. "Come on, Sam; let's get you inside."
John turned to look at Bobby and nearly growled at him. "How about you stay out of this," he snapped. John wasn't sure if he was mad, relieved or somewhere in between. His kids were everything to him, even when they acted like brats which seemed to be fairly normal these days. John sighed and headed towards Sam grabbing her computer bag and looking her over. "Kept up with training to at least some degree, huh?" he commented, a little less malice in his voice this time.
Sam tightened her jaw but tried to keep a civil tongue in her mouth. “Jogging in the mornings and reading ancient texts between classes was about all I could do at school,” she said stiffly. Her gaze bounced between Dean, Bobby, and John. “Are you still pissed that I left in the first place?” she asked, struggling to keep her tone neutral as she followed Dean and John across the yard and up onto the porch.
John glanced back at his daughter and shrugged. "Yep," he said and left it at that for a moment as he pulled the bag up on his shoulder. "Still good to have you back, though," he confessed, because God knows he had missed her; she was his youngest and his little girl. Though she tended to have more of a mouth on her than he needed at any given moment but then again so did his son and he was fairly sure they got it from their mother.
She didn’t make it far before Bobby dragged her into a hug, clapping her on the back awkwardly. The last time he’d seen her she’d still been flat-chested and trailing after Dean like a lost puppy; he didn’t know where to touch her that wouldn’t make them both uncomfortable. “Good to have you back, little girl,” he said and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, making her feel about five years old. Sam hugged him back fiercely and then followed Dean inside.
Dean sighed as they headed into the house and dropped Sam's bag on the couch, rubbing the back of his neck. "Jesus, Bobby she does need to breathe," he joked, trying to lighten his father's bitchy mood at least a little. "I seriously need a fucking beer. Want one, Sam?" he asked, calling back over his shoulder. Since when did it matter if Sam was under age; he hadn't matter to John when Dean was eighteen.
“God yes-oh, um, I mean, no, actually; I’ll pass on that.” Sam silently cursed herself for an idiot; drinking beer, even just one, could screw something up and then she’d have to explain to Dean why she had a kid with twelve eyes and six arms, or something. “My friend Jess got me into a detox kind of thing. It’s good for the body and gets rid of impurities. I can’t have alcohol while I’m on it.”
Bobby simply raised a brow and then frowned at Sam for a minute, examining her carefully. “You on some kind of hippy-dippy diet? You’re nothin’ but bones as it is, girl.”
Dean looked back at Sam like she was completely crazy. "You do realize you're a Winchester, right?" he asked, stalking off towards the kitchen. "You against water, too?" They hadn't really stopped much on the way here so he figured she might want something to drink and if she didn't he would drink hers and his both.
John set the computer bag down and headed into the living room. "What did you not eat while you were there?" he asked, agreeing with Bobby and raising an eyebrow.
Sam stepped back, surprised that Bobby and John and Dean were going to pin her on this. “Look, I just… I’m just eating healthier, okay? I’m not depriving myself. I eat lean meats and chicken, and lots of vegetables and fruits. Jesus, I’m going to be hunting; there’s no way I’d take the chance of passing out at a critical moment just because I want to be thin.”
“That ain’t what he asked, kiddo. What haven’t you been eating?” Bobby frowned and drew up beside John, affecting the same paternal frown that John wore.
“I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t eat fatty foods, and I don’t eat anything fried except tofu.” Sam crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, indignant.
John looked Sam over carefully, he hadn't seen her in about two months but she did look different. He wasn't sure if it was weight loss or something more, stress maybe? College had to be stressful for a freshman or anyone in general he would imagine. He looked back at his son as he came back with a beer and a bottle of water he handed to his sister.
"Please tell me you didn't just make it sound like you eat tofu," Dean joked, shaking his head before sitting down and leaning back in a chair. That was new; college seemed to change his sister a bit and Dean wasn't sure about it but whatever. Honestly right now he was too tired to push too hard.
"Well, I think you're thin enough so you'll be eating at dinner tonight then I assume? You know, if everyone decides to be here, and not take off without letting someone else in the house know," John drawled, eyeing Dean who just pretended to be more interested in his beer than talking all of a sudden.
Sam plopped down in one of the chairs near Dean and sighed heavily, twisting off the cap of her water. She drank deeply, thirsty after the long drive, and then screwed the cap back on. She had two options here; either blurt it out so they’d lay off or deal with it until it was obvious why she’d left college. Getting it over with now seemed easier, though more explosive, while waiting would leave everyone shocked and angry that she didn’t trust them to admit it sooner. Fuck. Dean would assume she’d been with someone else and he’d probably be deeply hurt, and pissed off besides. “I just want to have a healthy baby, alright? Get off my ass.”
Bobby’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, mouth dropped open in shock and he grabbed John’s arm to keep the man from flying across the room to light into his daughter. “A healthy… what?!” he blurted out, stunned and partially happy. A baby. Holy fuck.
Dean turned towards Sam and just stared at her like she grown another head that he was suddenly just seeing for the first time. The beer dropped out of his hand but he didn't seem to notice. "How far…? When are you…? Who's the…?" he stuttered, unable to finish a sentence or a thought.
John, on the other hand, was completely able to finish a thought and boy did he have a lot to say. "What the fuck do you mean a baby?" he snapped, lunging forward only to have Bobby grab his arm. He tried to pull away, his face red and his hands shaking. His kids could do some stupid fucking shit but for Christ sake's they knew what a Goddamn condom was, didn't they? They had all covered that part when they were teenagers "Who? I want a name, Sam; because I'm going back to that school and I'm going to fucking rip his head off!"
And all of a sudden, Sam was back in the same headspace she’d been in the last time she’d fought with her father. Her head came up, jaw held mulishly, and glared coldly enough that the room should’ve chilled a few degrees. “First of all,” she started in a low, controlled voice. “Who I’ve been fucking isn’t your business. Second; why the hell do you suddenly care now?! You never did before. I could’ve paraded a host of men through the motels and you’d have just grunted uncomfortably and then sent Dean to tell me to cut it out.” Her voice rose and she planted her fists on her hips, arms akimbo, and took a threatening step forward. “And lastly, he’s gone. Ran out when he found out I was pregnant and I don’t know his last name; we met at a party and I was very drunk.”
Bobby covered his face with his free hand, wincing at Sam’s diatribe. “I think that’s enough of that foul mouth, young lady. I don’t care if you’re gonna be a mother, now; you’ll remember to mind your tone while you’re here. And sit your ass down.”
"The fuck it isn't my business, kid!" John snapped back. "If you were so Goddamn smart…"
Dean looked back at his father. "Dad, shut the fuck up!" he snapped, knowing where his father was going with that comment. Dean shook his head and his eyes stayed glued to his sister. Sam wasn't that stupid, not to get in this situation with someone she hardly met, but she was saying…. For a second though, he had thought-they had been together right before she left and it was bare back but…
John took Dean’s advice, before he could say something that would make the situation worse, and threw his hands up, pulling away from Bobby and running a hand over his face. Only one of his kids, seriously. They always seemed to find some way to shock the living hell out of him. Sam was eighteen and about to be a mother, what the fuck was he supposed to be? Happy about it? He really doubted she would be doing it on her own after all. He wouldn't let her anyway though right now he was more pissed off and scared than anything else.
Huffing in irritation, Sam plopped back into her seat and crossed her legs, arms folded over her stomach protectively. “Whatever. I won’t burden you with this, dad. I’m more than capable of taking care of this on my own. I came home because I thought you’d want to know you’re going to be a grandfather, not because I was looking for you to take care of me.” It was all bravado; inside she was shaking at the mere thought of having a kid and raising it on her own.
Sure, she could do it, but it would be so lonely and hard and… “Damn it, I’m fu-” she looked at Bobby and changed her tone and adjusted her vocabulary, “-I’m scared enough knowing that I’m pregnant and that the guy doesn’t want me, okay? I don’t need you jumping all over me the moment I tell you about it.” And, to her horror, tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Sam buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking.
“Sonofabitch,” Bobby muttered and stalked into the kitchen. He clattered around a minute and then went back into the living room with a battered box of tissues and a container of cookies. “Just stop. Both of you. Sam’s messed up right now, and you yelling at her ain’t going to fix anything.”
Bobby glared at John and awkwardly patted Sam’s shoulder. “You can stick around here if you want, Sam. You know you’ve got a home here if you want it. I don’t suggest you try to hunt unless you want to end up losing the kid, and I know your daddy ain’t gonna sit still for nine months.”
Right, she just dropped this in his lap and John was supposed to be happy about it? He raised his kids to man up to whenever they fucked up, not look for sympathy. He shook his head rubbing his eyes and trying not to punch something.
He looked back at Bobby and glared a moment. Nice of him and all but the man did need to understand that these were his kids and he could handle it whatever way he wanted to. Looking at Sam he just sighed. "I may not be doing what you feel I should, but I think I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my daughter, thank you," he snapped. "Have you been to a doctor yet, at least?" he asked, his voice a forced calmer.
Once Sam sat down, Dean moved down next to her and put his arm around. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he said softly, rubbing her back. "I'm here and we're going to take care of you, okay?"
“You’re lucky I’m not filling your ass with buckshot, Winchester,” Bobby growled, but stomped out of the room to give the little family some space. It was his goddamn house, but John had made it clear that he didn’t want or appreciate Bobby’s input. Not that it was a first, or anything.
Sam wiped her face and sniffled, leaning into her brother’s warmth. “I haven’t been to a doctor, but I took five different pregnancy tests and all of them came back positive, if that’s what you’re asking. I need to… I need to go and get checked out, but not right now.” She buried her face in Dean’s neck and gripped his shirt, just needing to hold on to him for a minute so that she could calm down.
John glared after the other man and opened his mouth to say something before deciding he wasn't going to bother. He was thankful to Bobby but he wasn't going to be showing it right now that was for sure. "We’ll get you set up with a doctor as soon as possible. Make sure you and the baby are both okay," he said after a second. "And Bobby's right; she needs to stay put." He looked over at Dean who seemed too far invested in taking care of Sam than agreeing with anything that was being said.
Dean's hold on his sister tightened a little as he wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her closer. He pushed her hair back and rubbed her back gently nodding his head. "Try and calm down. I mean, I know you get to freak out and cry a lot over the next nine months and all, but don't use all your points up today," he said, his tone light to try and make her laugh.
And she did laugh, though it was a wet sound and she sniffled again as she pulled back, scrubbing her face. “Am I staying with Bobby while you and Dean hunt, or am I renting an apartment while you two hunt?” Sam looked over at John, her anger spent and now just looking at him like a kid needing her father’s direction and attention, though she never released her grip on Dean. Who, by the way, seemed to be taking the news much better than John was.
John shook his head. "We're all staying here for the time being," he said, eyeing her. "If you're anything like your mother was, you're going to be pretty sick the next few months and besides, as much as Bobby wants to help, you’re my daughter."
"Maybe we can find a place in town or something. I mean, Bobby can't have all three of us invading his house and his life," Dean said, looking back at Sam.
“You’re going to stop hunting?” Sam stared at John like he’d just grown another head right in front of her. “Dad, look; I’d love to have a normal life where I could have a house and kids and be able to drop by and watch you give pony rides to your grandkids, but you don’t settle down. I have to because I’m having a kid and I don’t want to drag a child around on hunts, but you don’t and neither does Dean.” She sighed and let go of her brother, got to her feet and paced back and forth in front of the chair Dean was perched on.
“We should buy a house, set it up as a home base like Bobby has. I’ll stay home with my kid and do research and you and Dean can go back on the road. I’m not going to force either of you to settle down and stop hunting just because I got knocked up.” Sam walked over to John and gripped the tail of his shirt like she used to when she was a little girl. “Please, daddy. It’ll make me feel guilty if you and Dean stop hunting over this.”
"We can do that, later on down the road. Until this kid is born you're going to need someone around to look after you, and, besides, Sam; I didn't say we were going to stop hunting but at the same time I'm not going to run the risk of you getting hurt or bring something home that might go after you or my grandchild." He licked his lips before turning and looking at Sam, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Listen, we're all going to have to get our shit together over this but we're family and we take care of each other so don't feel guilty about that," he answered.
Dean watched Sam pace as found himself surprised by John's comments. He sounded more like Bobby than himself and he didn't really understand it even though he agreed with it. "Besides, Sammy, when have you ever known either of us to allow ourselves to be forced into anything?" he asked, pretty serious.
Sam looked over her shoulder and raised her brows, sending Dean a speaking look. If she hadn’t pushed, he never would’ve touched her. He probably hadn’t even thought about it until she crawled in bed with him and woke him up jerking him off that night two years ago. She turned back to John and rolled her shoulders, trying not to get pissed about needing to be taken care of.
Just because she was pregnant didn’t mean that she couldn’t protect herself. “Fine, okay, yeah; you and Dean go hunt and I’ll stay with Bobby. I won’t be alone, and you won’t get crazy being stuck in the same place for months on end.” She didn’t want Dean to leave, but he had the same wanderlust that John had; neither was the settling down type and Sam saw herself spending a good chunk of her life alone and only having contact with them when they needed research.
"Sam, you seem to have a problem making us stay but no problem making us go; does that make any sense to you?" John asked. Sam never just took an order or an answer for what it and John couldn't understand why she had to fight him on everything. "You think, for once in your life, you can just let it go?" He had just said they would hunt but that wasn't good enough? This was his baby girl they were talking about, even if she didn't like it, it didn't change anything.
Dean was still visibly off balance about this. He wanted to able to talk to her but at the same time he didn't. He never thought that she was with him because she couldn't get someone else or couldn't get better because God knows just looking at her…. They were thrown together about ninety-five percent of their lives and Dean was the only guy she never had to say goodbye to. He knew that she would meet someone while she was at college but it sort of killed part of him nonetheless. Not that he would ever tell her, by now he was good at just putting a smile on his face and ignoring everyone when he had to.
“I’m not making you go, and I’m not trying to make you go. You can’t tell me that, right now, your feet aren’t itching with the need to get out on the road and hunt something down. I’ve known you too long to think, even for a minute, that you’d let something like this stop you, so I’m just letting you know that I’m fine being left behind.” Sam snatched her laptop case from the floor at John’s feet and then went over to the couch and grabbed her duffel, slinging it over her shoulder. “But, for right now, I’m going to go throw up and then get some sleep. Good night.” She stomped off towards the stairs.
"Yeah, have the last word, Samantha; no surprise there," John called after her retreating back as she threw her normal fit. John and Sam were very much alike; both had to say what they had to say but couldn't listen to anyone else. They were right and everyone else was wrong, go figure. Sam didn't know jack fucking shit if she thought hunting was more important to John than his family. He hunted because of them, to protect them, and finding the fucking demon that had killed his wife and tried to kill his daughter. After all these years and no one was ever on the same page.
Dean got up and just about said ‘fuck both of them’ and stalked off towards the kitchen for another beer.
“It’s funny how one tiny little girl can turn that man upside down,” Bobby commented from the kitchen table, nudging a beer across the table at Dean. “Then again, she turns all of us inside out trying to keep tabs on her.”
Dean took the beer and swallowed half of it down. "Yeah, tell me about it," he mumbled, leaning against the counter and shaking his head. When Sam had called him freaking out he thought the worst but this he could say wasn't one of the things that had gone through his head.
“Might wanna head up and check on her in a bit. Girl that skinny losing her lunch all the time can’t be healthy. Then again, I think it’s more nerves than morning sickness, though she’s a lot skinnier than she should be, so maybe it is morning sickness.” Bobby turned his own bottle of beer on the table, nails slowly peeling the label.
Dean finished the beer on his second go around before throwing the bottle away. He nodded his head. "Yeah, I’ll check on her but I seriously just need a minute," he said. He would take care of Sam, he always did, but he was still trying to get a grip on this and all the shit that went with it now that everyone had stopped screaming. "I'll get her to a doctor tomorrow. I'll carry her if I have to."
Bobby snorted and shook his head. “Get a grip quick, because you’re sharing a room and a bed with her. Once I’ve had time to clear some things out and get another bed, you’ll be back to sleeping alone, but until then you’re in with her and your daddy can sleep in the goddamn car for all I care.”
Dean licked his lips and sighed, making a face. "I don't want to make her uncomfortable. She can have the bed, I can use the couch or the floor, if she wants me close-by," he said, looking back at Bobby before smirking. "God, I'm stuck between Sam and dad and you and dad for the next God knows how many months, huh?"
Bobby tugged at the brim of his hat and then scruffed his nails through his beard. “Better to be stuck between me and John than Sam and John. Those two are like two alpha dogs fighting over a bone, sometimes.” He pushed back from the table and tossed away his empty bottle before going to the cabinet and taking down a bottle of Johnny Walker and twisting off the cap. “Just wait until the mood swings start-your daddy’s gonna bolt when she starts sobbing while opening a can of Alpo for the dogs.”
"Please, you think that they’re bad now, you should have seen them when Sam just started acting like a teenager." Dean rolled his eyes; some of those fights still gave him a headache. Dean laughed, though; he knew when the time came it wasn't going to be that funny. "Oh, good times."
“Wonder who she’ll end up tapping to go out in the middle of the night for bean sprouts and peach sherbet with guacamole sauce?” Bobby mused, and then shook his head. “Anyway, go on up and look in on her right quick. And get some damn sleep; you look like a fucking zombie.”
Dean smirked. "Well, you know it isn't going to be dad going out for her," he joked, pushing himself up off the counter. "Alright, and, Bobby; thanks for keeping them from killing each other." He turned to leave. Bobby was an important part of their family, always had been. Moving to the steps, he headed upstairs to check on Sam even though he was still…. He just went.
When Dean opened the door of their usual room, he found Sam sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed in a pair of shorts and a tank top with bunnies all over it, and she was holding her shirt up, staring at her flat stomach as though waiting for something to leap out of it like in the Aliens movie. Her head came up and she shoved her shirt back down, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously as she looked at her brother. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when you came and got me,” she murmured, shifting uncomfortably on the end of the bed.
Dean looked her over for a second, cocking his head to the side as he studied her. He pressed his lips together and offered her a sort of forced smile. He just shrugged. "Don't worry about it," he answered, because he didn't know what else to say. "You feeling okay?" he asked.
Sam snorted and flopped back on the bed, hands in her hair. “You’re really fucked up about this, aren’t you? You’re acting too calm for me to think you’re anything but pissed off and worried out of your mind.”
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. What did she want him to say? "Was it really just some guy at a party?" he asked, not bothering to admit to anything. He thought; get it over with quick, take the sting and move on. Nothing new about his way of thinking.
“No, it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you who it really was. Some faceless, nameless guy at a party is good enough of a cover for Dad and Bobby. But I’m not going to tell you his name, either. Can’t have you tearing off across the country to rip his balls off.” Sam propped herself up on her elbows and patted the bed beside her, beckoning him to sit beside her. “You disappointed in me for lying to dad?”
Dean looked down and he just pressed his lips together not saying anything for a minute. He looked at the bed and decided to just sit down. "Now, would I do that?" he joked. He figured she would want to sleep soon anyway so he wouldn't be here long. "Nah," he said honestly. "Just shell shocked I guess." And hurt but he sure the fuck was going to tell her that.
“You’d do it in an instant, Dean, and you know it. Remember the first guy I ever dated, Jeremy Richards? You beat him up for kissing me on the cheek.” Sam rolled over and laid her head on Dean’s thigh, an arm wrapped around Dean’s waist. “I never should have left you,” she confessed softly.
Dean sighed and let his head fall back as he bit his bottom lip. "Yeah well, he just about to start feeling you up so whatever." He looked down at Sam a second as she rested against him. "Yeah… wish you hadn't," he said honestly. "I missed you, you know?"
“Missed you, too,” Sam replied, squeezing her brother tightly. Tears welled in her eyes again, needing to tell him the truth, but knowing that Dean would freak out and bolt made her hold her tongue. She pressed her face against his belly and breathed him in, heart swelling with love for him yet clenching tightly at having to lie to him. “Will you stay with me tonight? You don’t have to do anything, just hold me?”
Dean turned his face away because he really didn't want to. It was stupid and it was childish but he was hurt and he didn't really want to be a rock for his sister or a bumper for his father right now. He was just so tired, between what Sam had revealed and the driving he was about to seriously drop to the floor. "Yeah, I guess. We're going to be sharing the room until Bobby clears some shit out, anyway," he explained with a small smile.
When Sam looked up, the expression on her face was so hopeful. “Really?”
Dean closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah," he confirmed again, looking back at her a moment. "You look so thrilled," he joked.
“I was thrilled,” Sam replied, eyes dark and serious. “Until I realized that you’re not, so don’t worry about it.” She pulled away from him with a watery smile and crawled across the bed to lay on the far side of it, curled in on herself. “Night, Dean.”
Okay, so Dean made a joked and she got bitchy; how was that normal? Granted he was lying but Dean was a fairly good actor but he just pushed himself up. "You can have the bed, you need it more than I do," he commented, pushing himself up.
“Dean?” Sam asked, looking over her shoulder at him as he stood beside the bed. “Did I make a mistake coming back?”
Dean turned and looked back at Sam, shaking his head. "No, you belong here," he said and he meant those words. He just didn't know how to explain to his sister that he was being a girl about this at the moment. "With me, and with dad."
Sam rolled over and sat up, frowning at her brother. “I belong here? Dean, the only person in this house that isn’t pissed off about this is Bobby, and the only reason he’s not pissed at me is because he still sees me as a little girl. You can’t stand to be in the same room as me, and Dad went into a fucking rage.” She shook her head and shoved off of the bed, grabbing her duffel and tossing it on the bed. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here.” She knuckled her eyes and started pulling clothes out of her bag. “I’ll catch the bus and go see Pastor Jim. Maybe he won’t be pissed off at me.”
"Oh, Sam; shut the fuck up," Dean snapped. "Listen, I get the fact that you’re all emotional and insane right now, and I will put up with a lot of crap because of it and because I love you, but I'm not going to put up with you throwing a fit. I drove for 48 hours almost straight to bring your ass here. You tell me that you fucked some random dick at some fucking party where you were drunk off your ass and you expect me to just smile, give you a kiss goodnight and tuck you in? I will walk through fire for you, Sam, in a heartbeat, but you need to see past your own goddamn nose this time around."
It was on the tip of her tongue, edging at the back of her throat, but she swallowed it down, knowing that things would be worse if he knew the truth. Sam sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. “I didn’t mean to hurt you with this,” she said, staring down at the clothes fisted in her hands. “I’m so sorry, Dean. But, when I came back, I didn’t just come back to be here. I came back to you,” she swallowed, “if you want me.”
Dean opened his mouth to make a smartass comment but didn't. Instead he just shook his head, like their whole life with hunting, each other and their dad wasn't insane enough, right? "This other guy?" he asked finally. "And tell me the truth about this. I'm not trying to insult or hurt you but I need to know." Because he may be with her either way at this point. "Am I just the safe back up plan?" He always assumed that he was either way because family was everything to Dean but Sam could have friends and relationship outside their family. Dean wasn't like that and it was seriously becoming a big problem.
“No!” Sam burst out, looking horrified at the very idea. “Jesus Christ, Dean; what the hell makes you think I could do that to you? I’ve been in love with you since I was a kid, hero worshiped you since I was in diapers, and dreamed of marrying you one day even though it isn’t possible.”
Dean bit his bottom lip and nodded, rubbing his eyes for a second. That answer made him smirk for a second. He reached out and tugged the clothes from her hand. "Come here," he said, pulling her into him. "Fine, no getting married but will you settle for playing house?" he joked, pushing her hair back from her face.
Sam fell into his arms and clung to him, face buried in his chest. “I’ll take you any way that I can get you. God, I want that, though.”
Dean half expected her to start crying again, just because he assumed he would be getting that a lot over the next few months. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, protectively, and his body seemed to finally relax for the first time in the last twenty-four or so hours. "Let’s go to bed, okay?" he said into her hair after a few minutes. "Besides, you'll need rest because the first thing we do tomorrow is take you to the doctor."
“Oh God,” Sam groaned, face flushing with embarrassment. “That means I’m going to have to deal with getting a pelvic exam. Find me a female doctor, because I don’t want some creepy old guy shoving his fingers in me.” She pulled away and crawled up on the bed, climbed under the blankets and held up one corner for Dean, patting the bed beside her.
Dean laughed. "Yeah, I'll get right on that," he said moving towards the bed and crawled in beside Sam. "Tell me the truth, though; are you… okay? I mean, Bobby has me strung out about this, says you're too thin and all that." He was always right back into the same old shit. Sam was his first thought in the morning and the last one at night.
He’d never wanted children; he'd expressed that to Sam even, countless times growing up. Even now it wasn't a worry about Sam and the baby, the little third party wasn't even part of the picture yet. Not for Dean anyway.
“Well, when I’m heaving up everything I eat, I kind of lose weight. So, I’ve been trying to eat things that are better for me in the hopes that I wouldn’t puke it back up. It’s kind of working, but when I see the doctor I’m sure they’ll give me something or tell me the right foods to eat so I can gain a bit of weight.” Sam curled up beside Dean, one hand splayed on his chest and her head on his shoulder. “I feel okay, for the most part. Just can’t keep anything down and I’m kind of an emotional wreck since, you know, I’m eighteen, having a baby, and the father would rather run for the hills than be a father.”
Curling up to Sam he just studied her carefully. "I hope so, this whole baby thing is sort of new to most of us, I guess. Well, other than dad, but…." He shrugged, not knowing how much help his father would be for the time being. He settled down and cleared his throat. "You know I still want a name, right?" he said after a second.
Sam leaned up on one elbow, looking down into her brother’s face. “You know I’m not going to give you one. Not just because I don’t want you to beat him to a pulp, but also because it wouldn’t make a difference. He doesn’t want kids and he told me that before we ever slept together. Besides, I think I was just convenient when he couldn’t be bothered to pick up someone else. Doesn’t matter, though; I’m here and I’ll do fine on my own.” She chuckled and shook her head, amused that she was telling Dean about himself and he had no idea.
"And you know I'm not going to give up that easily, right?" Dean asked as he settled back. He could easily understand not wanting kids, he was personally just never near any to know what the fuck to do with them. He moved over on his side and cocked his head. "Yeah, seems to be a lot of that going around these days," he mumbled more to himself. Sex really wasn't a big deal, not to most people anyway, and he had finally seemed to be able to realize that his sister was a member of the human race just like everyone else. "Seriously though, go to sleep. You know we're going to get woken up at some God awful hour for some stupid reason."
“Yeah, okay,” Sam muttered as she lay back down and cuddled into Dean’s side. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily, tired from the long drive and the emotional rollercoaster since stepping foot in Bobby’s junkyard. “Hey, Dean?” she said quietly, tipping her head back just enough to see the curve of her brother’s cheek. “You’d tell me if you didn’t like this, wouldn’t you? I mean, if you’ve already got someone else…”
Wrapping an arm around Sam, Dean settled down and closed his eyes. He was about ready to drop and it was even more now that he was in a warm bed and lying down. He licked his lips before opening his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, I would tell you and no there isn't," he answered after a second. Not to say there hadn’t been a few… okay, so there hadn’t been but it was not because he was pathetic, it was because of how much hunting John and he had done since Sam left.
“Okay,” Sam murmured, voice slurred with sleep. She dropped off with the soft sound of Dean’s breathing and the strong thump of his heartbeat ringing in her ears.
Curling up to Sam, Dean fell asleep within seconds. He was so tired and it felt so good to be sharing a bed with Sam again. It was kind of lonely sleeping alone as he had found out.
Next
Authors: yahnkehy and shall0wbay
Disclaimer: Lies, all lies!
Warnings: Pre-series, AU, genderbending, incest, smut, demons, pregnancy and a partridge in a pear tree.
Pairing/Characters: girl!Sam/Dean, OMC, John, Bobby, YED, Jessica Moore
Summary: Dean has never wanted kids. Ever. Fears them to the point that he runs from pregnant women. So when Sam comes home and announces that she's soon to be a mother, Dean's life gets flipped upside down. The world marches on, and secrets fester, boil over, and two crazy kids are caught in the storm.
Music: Why don't you and I By Santana and Chad Kroeger
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Half-Truths
Prologue:
Sam had taken that stupid test five times with Jessica standing right there, offering support and comfort. And every damn one of them had come up positive.
“What the hell am I gonna do? I can’t tell him, Jess. He’d flip out.” Sam paced and looked at the neatly arranged test sticks on a paper towel on the counter, lip quivering at the bright pink tips that seemed to mock and sneer.
“You’ve got to tell him, Sam. You can’t do this on your own, and school with a gigantic pregnant belly isn’t going to be an option. Call him.” Jess folded her arms over her chest and glared reprovingly at her roommate. “I mean it, Samantha. I will call him myself if I have to.”
Sam hung her head and sighed helplessly. “I hate you,” she muttered and trudged out of the bathroom.
“And throw those things away. They give me the creeps,” Jess called after Sam as the other girl headed into the bedroom to get her cell phone.
“Yeah, yeah.” Sam’s mind wasn’t on getting rid of the tests, however. Her mind was on finding a way to tell her big brother that he knocked her up. She scrolled through the sadly short list of contacts and found Dean’s name. Her thumb hovered over the send button for a moment and then she pressed it and held it to her ear with a shaking hand.
Dean shifted on the Bobby's couch as he reached to fish his cell phone out of his jeans pocket. They had been here for about three days and it was getting kind of old; he wanted to be out and hunting, not reading his life away like they had been. It was mainly because, since his sister left, that he’d been unable to sit still for more than five seconds, let alone stay in one state for that much longer.
He looked down at the caller ID and raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of the devil," Dean mumbled, flipping his phone open and adjusting the book on his lap, glancing at it like he would much rather throw it out the damn window. "Hey, Sammie; what's up?" he asked.
Sam was silent on the line for a minute, just listening to Dean breathe. It was scary how badly she’d missed his voice, and tears stung her eyes now. “Come get me, Dean. Oh God, please, just come get me,” she whispered, breath catching in a sob.
Dean sat up, the laziness put out of his body before he was up all the way. He went edged at the panic in her voice. "Sam, what's matter? What happened?" he demanded, pushing himself up to find his jacket and his keys. Bobby and dad were out somewhere, Dean really hadn't been paying attention to where they said they were going, but it didn't matter; he was going to get Sammie.
“I… I’m,” Sam swallowed the words, panic twisting in her gut hard enough to make her want to heave. “I miss you, I can’t do this; come get me.”
Dean stopped in his tracks, confused for a second before shaking his head. "Sam, if you're homesick or you miss me I'll come to visit you but you can't just turn your back on school. I mean, you worked your ass off to get there," he said, still looking for his jacket. "Believe me, I miss you too but are you sure about what you’re saying?"
A shuddery breath was Sam’s answer at first, too shaken by the thought of Dean leaving her behind while she was in this mess. “Something… something happened. I can’t tell you about it, Dean. I just need you to come and get me. I can’t stay here.”
"Sam, what happened?!" Dean demanded. This was Sam they were talking about and Dean had a right to know everything that happened to Sam, even if she didn't want to tell him or claimed that she couldn't. All he could assume was that someone had hurt her and in that case he was packing a fucking gun. Finding his jacket with the keys in the pocket, he headed out the back door without bothering to lock up.
“Please, please don’t ask me that. I can’t tell you, it’s… it’s too big. Please, Dean, please come get me.” Sam sobbed openly now, and Jess came into the room to sit beside her on the bed, rubbing her back gently and crooning softly in the background.
"Okay, okay, Sam; calm down. I'll be there by tomorrow, okay?" Dean promised, getting into the car and slamming the door before starting her up and peeling out of Bobby's junkyard. Okay, Stanford was about a solid day's drive away but Dean would make it in record time, he always did. She scared him, actually; since when was there something that Sam couldn’t tell him?
Sam sniffled as she closed the cell phone and turned in Jessica’s embrace, clinging to her tightly. “He’s coming for me,” she whispered.
“It’ll be okay, honey. Just calm down and try to sleep.” Jess stroked Sam’s hair, cut short and pixish about her face.
“I didn’t tell him,” Sam confessed softly.
“He’ll find out soon enough; you can’t hide it forever.” Jessica’s words rolled through Sam’s mind. That was exactly the problem.
Dean stopped just outside of Sam's dorm and headed inside. He had stopped twice getting here, for gas and to piss and that was about it. He hadn't been here since he had dropped Sam off for school, at the time he had hated the place because he was leaving Sam here and now he hated it because he didn't know what the fuck had happened here to his sister.
Getting out of the car, Dean headed inside and found Sam's room number and started banging on the door. He was tense and scared; he didn't like the tone in her voice and he had gone through panic, anger and back to panic pretty much throughout the whole trip to the school. Sam had always been about going to school and he couldn't understand her just turning her back on it all of a sudden. After that drive he should be tired but he was pumped with adrenaline. Knocking a second time, he added overly impatient to the list.
When Sam opened the door her eyes were red rimmed and her newly cut hair was in wild disarray, sticking up on one side while lying flat on the other. She blinked and then lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. “Oh god,” she gasped, pressing tightly against him, trembling with both nerves and fear. “I’m packed up and ready, just… give me a second.” She didn’t release her grip on him, and tried to push harder against his chest, as though he could absorb the terror clawing at her chest.
Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and held her tightly. She was shaking so bad that Dean was beside himself, he had no idea what was wrong. He licked his lips and rubbed her back. "Sam, talk to me. What's wrong? Who do I have to kill?" he asked; he could only assume that someone had done something and she wasn't giving him any answers so at this point the whole fucking campus was on his hit list.
Sam just tucked her face in his neck and breathed him in, taking comfort in the fact that he was there and in her arms again. Nothing could be totally wrong as long as Dean was there. “Can we talk about this later? No one here… no one did anything to me, Dean. I’m… I’ll be okay, I just need time.”
This shit wasn't going to fly; Dean always took care of Sam and he wasn't going to be left in the dark for long about this. He wanted answers but he didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to Sam being this fucking emotional. "Sam…" he trailed off, shaking his head as he pulled back and sighed, "Fine, I'll get you out of here but you have to promise to tell me what's going on. Promise?"
“Yeah, I promise. I’ll tell you, but not right now. Not yet, okay?” Sam looked up at Dean through tear-spiked lashes, praying that he wouldn’t push until she was ready. “I swear on mom, Dean. I’ll tell you.”
Dean nodded and looked back at Sam, touched a hand to her cheek gently. "Alright, then let's go. Where's your stuff?" he asked, stepping into the dorm room.
Sam followed Dean inside and moved around him to her bed where the laptop she’d bought at a secondhand store sat beside her old, worn duffle bag. She slung them up onto her shoulder and swiped away the tears that dripped down her cheeks, and then turned to look at the room wistfully. Jess had already gone to class, and there was nothing else of Sam’s in the room. She was going to miss this; the studying, classes, chats with Jessica. With a last longing look, she turned and tried to smile for Dean, to calm his worries. “Where’d you park?”
The fake smile didn't work but Dean didn't say anything. He reached for her bags and took them to carry them out for her. "Pretty much on the sidewalk," he admitted with a shrug and he wasn't lying either; when it came to Sam he tended to do it on a sort of obsessive level. He watched her carefully for a second, he didn't really think she wanted to go but trying to get her to talk wasn't going to happen so… on with the show. "Come on," he offered, reaching for her hand.
A real smile broke out over Sam’s lips, pushing her dimples in deep; there was the Dean she knew and loved. She looked at her feet for a moment and then took his hand, walking out the door with him. College wasn’t in the plan anymore, couldn’t be, but she had Dean so the world hadn’t completely ended. “Can I pick the music?” she asked tentatively, bumping her shoulder against Dean’s.
He smiled back but it was still unsure and sad; he knew something was wrong, obviously, but he just wanted to get her out of here and they could figure out the rest later. As they headed out, Dean rolled his eyes at her request. "Fine, but no pop music," he joked, still holding her hand as they headed out of the building. He was waiting to get half way to Bobby's only to have her ask him to turn around, but they’d see what happened, he guessed.
“Aw, dude! Come on, just one song by Celine Dion?” Sam wheedled, waiting for Dean’s standing ‘driver picks the music’ slogan.
"No seriously, I won't allow it," Dean answered as they reached the car, which wasn't exactly parked on the sidewalk but close enough. He shrugged at his shitty parking job and threw Sam’s bag in the back before getting in.
A small laugh escaped and Sam got in on the passenger’s side. She settled comfortably into the seat, the smell of home, and Dean, and safe filling her nose and allowing her jangled nerves to ease off. She unconsciously settled a hand over her belly and turned in her seat, putting her back against the door and her feet on Dean’s thigh. “Where are we going? And where’s dad? Is… is he still pissed at me?”
Dean turned the car back on and headed back onto the street. "We've been at Bobby's the last few days so we’re going there for now. And dad… honestly; he told me where he was going but I wasn't paying attention." He shrugged as he turned the wheel, heading down a side street, and made a face. "He's always pissed at something, but when you left it was more him being scared about you being on your own, so I'm sure he'll be fine once he sees you're alive and back."
Sam tipped her head back against the window glass and sighed. “After he rubs it in my face that I’m a failure at dealing without you guys, of course. He’ll probably make me run a shit-ton of PT and do drills until I fall down just to make me pay for leaving in the first place.” She kicked off the strappy sandals, adjusted the short jean shorts a bit, and propped one elbow up on the car door. Her hair was still a mess, and she ran her hands through it to calm it into something resembling sanity.
Dean shrugged. "Sam you're an adult, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and that also means taking crap for him,” he said after a second. He and their dad had normally always gotten along but after John blew up at Sam and Sam was away at college… well, Dean started seeing more and more of his sister's points. He guessed it was partly because he missed her so much it made him sick to his stomach. He licked his lips and looked back at her.
“It wasn’t like I was leaving forever, though. I was going to get my degree and become a lawyer so that we wouldn’t have to worry about the police so much anymore.” The strap on the tank top she wore slid down the lightly tanned skin of her shoulder and Sam absently fixed it. “You know I’d never leave you forever.”
"Yeah, I know," he answered. He knew that Sam wasn't turning her back on them. John may have seen it that way at first, but Dean hadn't. Sam need to do what was right for her and if that meant being away from them, he wasn't going to stand in the way of it.
That assurance brought a wide, happy smile to Sam’s face and she shifted around in her seat, turning so that she could drape one leg over the back of the seat, drop the other into the floorboard, and rest her head on Dean’s thigh. “That’s why I love you, Dean; you let me do what I feel I have to and don’t hate me for it.”
"Eh, could never hate you," Dean said honestly, looking down at her for a second before putting his eyes back on the road. He surprised that his phone wasn't ring off the hook yet. Between Bobby and their dad, they tended to get about as obsessive as Dean was with Sam. It may have been a good idea to warn them that Sam was coming but Dean was fairly sure the message would get across when they saw her there.
Chapter 1
When Dean and Sam pulled up into Bobby’s yard, they were greeted with the sight of Bobby and John standing out on the porch and looking royally pissed off. “Well, this looks like it’s going to be a party and a half. Can we tell them I got homesick and was so worried about you guys that I just couldn’t stay?” Sam asked, squeezing Dean’s wrist as they slowed to a stop. “Don’t tell them I called you crying, or I’ll never live it down.”
Dean looked over at the two men standing there with obvious attitude and rolled his eyes. Okay, he had done way too much driving in the last two days to want to deal with this but whatever. Better to get it over with right? "Yeah, I think I can keep that secret," he offered, leaning back before getting out of the car.
Car gone and no word; what the fuck? John was not the type of man who dealt with being out of the loop well at all and he was going to wring his son's neck once he got a hold of him. As the car pulled up he stalked towards it, his eyes narrowed. "Where the fuck…." He stopped short before he could finish the sentence. He was taken aback by the sight of his daughter, who he hadn't seen in several months and who he hadn't been expecting to see, either. "What in the hell is going on here?" he demanded. Sam had made such a huge stink about leaving yet here she was and of course John was too pissed off to even be happy about the fact.
Sam carefully got out of the car, but kept the door in front of her. “I was homesick, and scared that something would happen to you and I’d never find out.” God, the lie stuck in her throat. Well, it was a partial lie; she’d missed them terribly and had worried that something would happen and she’d never know, but that wasn’t why she was there.
“Like I’d let that happen, Samantha,” Bobby chimed in from his place on the porch, arms folded over his chest. “You get your skinny ass in this house and stop dragging your idjut brother all over the place. He looks like he’s about to fall over. John, bitch later; hug your goddamn daughter.”
Dean rolled his eyes and had a strong desire to kick his father, as childish as it might sound, but he just grabbed Sam's bag out of the back of the car. He licked his lip and look between his father and sister waiting for the fireworks to fly because they always did. He looked up at Bobby but didn't say anything. "Come on, Sam; let's get you inside."
John turned to look at Bobby and nearly growled at him. "How about you stay out of this," he snapped. John wasn't sure if he was mad, relieved or somewhere in between. His kids were everything to him, even when they acted like brats which seemed to be fairly normal these days. John sighed and headed towards Sam grabbing her computer bag and looking her over. "Kept up with training to at least some degree, huh?" he commented, a little less malice in his voice this time.
Sam tightened her jaw but tried to keep a civil tongue in her mouth. “Jogging in the mornings and reading ancient texts between classes was about all I could do at school,” she said stiffly. Her gaze bounced between Dean, Bobby, and John. “Are you still pissed that I left in the first place?” she asked, struggling to keep her tone neutral as she followed Dean and John across the yard and up onto the porch.
John glanced back at his daughter and shrugged. "Yep," he said and left it at that for a moment as he pulled the bag up on his shoulder. "Still good to have you back, though," he confessed, because God knows he had missed her; she was his youngest and his little girl. Though she tended to have more of a mouth on her than he needed at any given moment but then again so did his son and he was fairly sure they got it from their mother.
She didn’t make it far before Bobby dragged her into a hug, clapping her on the back awkwardly. The last time he’d seen her she’d still been flat-chested and trailing after Dean like a lost puppy; he didn’t know where to touch her that wouldn’t make them both uncomfortable. “Good to have you back, little girl,” he said and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, making her feel about five years old. Sam hugged him back fiercely and then followed Dean inside.
Dean sighed as they headed into the house and dropped Sam's bag on the couch, rubbing the back of his neck. "Jesus, Bobby she does need to breathe," he joked, trying to lighten his father's bitchy mood at least a little. "I seriously need a fucking beer. Want one, Sam?" he asked, calling back over his shoulder. Since when did it matter if Sam was under age; he hadn't matter to John when Dean was eighteen.
“God yes-oh, um, I mean, no, actually; I’ll pass on that.” Sam silently cursed herself for an idiot; drinking beer, even just one, could screw something up and then she’d have to explain to Dean why she had a kid with twelve eyes and six arms, or something. “My friend Jess got me into a detox kind of thing. It’s good for the body and gets rid of impurities. I can’t have alcohol while I’m on it.”
Bobby simply raised a brow and then frowned at Sam for a minute, examining her carefully. “You on some kind of hippy-dippy diet? You’re nothin’ but bones as it is, girl.”
Dean looked back at Sam like she was completely crazy. "You do realize you're a Winchester, right?" he asked, stalking off towards the kitchen. "You against water, too?" They hadn't really stopped much on the way here so he figured she might want something to drink and if she didn't he would drink hers and his both.
John set the computer bag down and headed into the living room. "What did you not eat while you were there?" he asked, agreeing with Bobby and raising an eyebrow.
Sam stepped back, surprised that Bobby and John and Dean were going to pin her on this. “Look, I just… I’m just eating healthier, okay? I’m not depriving myself. I eat lean meats and chicken, and lots of vegetables and fruits. Jesus, I’m going to be hunting; there’s no way I’d take the chance of passing out at a critical moment just because I want to be thin.”
“That ain’t what he asked, kiddo. What haven’t you been eating?” Bobby frowned and drew up beside John, affecting the same paternal frown that John wore.
“I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t eat fatty foods, and I don’t eat anything fried except tofu.” Sam crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, indignant.
John looked Sam over carefully, he hadn't seen her in about two months but she did look different. He wasn't sure if it was weight loss or something more, stress maybe? College had to be stressful for a freshman or anyone in general he would imagine. He looked back at his son as he came back with a beer and a bottle of water he handed to his sister.
"Please tell me you didn't just make it sound like you eat tofu," Dean joked, shaking his head before sitting down and leaning back in a chair. That was new; college seemed to change his sister a bit and Dean wasn't sure about it but whatever. Honestly right now he was too tired to push too hard.
"Well, I think you're thin enough so you'll be eating at dinner tonight then I assume? You know, if everyone decides to be here, and not take off without letting someone else in the house know," John drawled, eyeing Dean who just pretended to be more interested in his beer than talking all of a sudden.
Sam plopped down in one of the chairs near Dean and sighed heavily, twisting off the cap of her water. She drank deeply, thirsty after the long drive, and then screwed the cap back on. She had two options here; either blurt it out so they’d lay off or deal with it until it was obvious why she’d left college. Getting it over with now seemed easier, though more explosive, while waiting would leave everyone shocked and angry that she didn’t trust them to admit it sooner. Fuck. Dean would assume she’d been with someone else and he’d probably be deeply hurt, and pissed off besides. “I just want to have a healthy baby, alright? Get off my ass.”
Bobby’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, mouth dropped open in shock and he grabbed John’s arm to keep the man from flying across the room to light into his daughter. “A healthy… what?!” he blurted out, stunned and partially happy. A baby. Holy fuck.
Dean turned towards Sam and just stared at her like she grown another head that he was suddenly just seeing for the first time. The beer dropped out of his hand but he didn't seem to notice. "How far…? When are you…? Who's the…?" he stuttered, unable to finish a sentence or a thought.
John, on the other hand, was completely able to finish a thought and boy did he have a lot to say. "What the fuck do you mean a baby?" he snapped, lunging forward only to have Bobby grab his arm. He tried to pull away, his face red and his hands shaking. His kids could do some stupid fucking shit but for Christ sake's they knew what a Goddamn condom was, didn't they? They had all covered that part when they were teenagers "Who? I want a name, Sam; because I'm going back to that school and I'm going to fucking rip his head off!"
And all of a sudden, Sam was back in the same headspace she’d been in the last time she’d fought with her father. Her head came up, jaw held mulishly, and glared coldly enough that the room should’ve chilled a few degrees. “First of all,” she started in a low, controlled voice. “Who I’ve been fucking isn’t your business. Second; why the hell do you suddenly care now?! You never did before. I could’ve paraded a host of men through the motels and you’d have just grunted uncomfortably and then sent Dean to tell me to cut it out.” Her voice rose and she planted her fists on her hips, arms akimbo, and took a threatening step forward. “And lastly, he’s gone. Ran out when he found out I was pregnant and I don’t know his last name; we met at a party and I was very drunk.”
Bobby covered his face with his free hand, wincing at Sam’s diatribe. “I think that’s enough of that foul mouth, young lady. I don’t care if you’re gonna be a mother, now; you’ll remember to mind your tone while you’re here. And sit your ass down.”
"The fuck it isn't my business, kid!" John snapped back. "If you were so Goddamn smart…"
Dean looked back at his father. "Dad, shut the fuck up!" he snapped, knowing where his father was going with that comment. Dean shook his head and his eyes stayed glued to his sister. Sam wasn't that stupid, not to get in this situation with someone she hardly met, but she was saying…. For a second though, he had thought-they had been together right before she left and it was bare back but…
John took Dean’s advice, before he could say something that would make the situation worse, and threw his hands up, pulling away from Bobby and running a hand over his face. Only one of his kids, seriously. They always seemed to find some way to shock the living hell out of him. Sam was eighteen and about to be a mother, what the fuck was he supposed to be? Happy about it? He really doubted she would be doing it on her own after all. He wouldn't let her anyway though right now he was more pissed off and scared than anything else.
Huffing in irritation, Sam plopped back into her seat and crossed her legs, arms folded over her stomach protectively. “Whatever. I won’t burden you with this, dad. I’m more than capable of taking care of this on my own. I came home because I thought you’d want to know you’re going to be a grandfather, not because I was looking for you to take care of me.” It was all bravado; inside she was shaking at the mere thought of having a kid and raising it on her own.
Sure, she could do it, but it would be so lonely and hard and… “Damn it, I’m fu-” she looked at Bobby and changed her tone and adjusted her vocabulary, “-I’m scared enough knowing that I’m pregnant and that the guy doesn’t want me, okay? I don’t need you jumping all over me the moment I tell you about it.” And, to her horror, tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Sam buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking.
“Sonofabitch,” Bobby muttered and stalked into the kitchen. He clattered around a minute and then went back into the living room with a battered box of tissues and a container of cookies. “Just stop. Both of you. Sam’s messed up right now, and you yelling at her ain’t going to fix anything.”
Bobby glared at John and awkwardly patted Sam’s shoulder. “You can stick around here if you want, Sam. You know you’ve got a home here if you want it. I don’t suggest you try to hunt unless you want to end up losing the kid, and I know your daddy ain’t gonna sit still for nine months.”
Right, she just dropped this in his lap and John was supposed to be happy about it? He raised his kids to man up to whenever they fucked up, not look for sympathy. He shook his head rubbing his eyes and trying not to punch something.
He looked back at Bobby and glared a moment. Nice of him and all but the man did need to understand that these were his kids and he could handle it whatever way he wanted to. Looking at Sam he just sighed. "I may not be doing what you feel I should, but I think I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my daughter, thank you," he snapped. "Have you been to a doctor yet, at least?" he asked, his voice a forced calmer.
Once Sam sat down, Dean moved down next to her and put his arm around. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he said softly, rubbing her back. "I'm here and we're going to take care of you, okay?"
“You’re lucky I’m not filling your ass with buckshot, Winchester,” Bobby growled, but stomped out of the room to give the little family some space. It was his goddamn house, but John had made it clear that he didn’t want or appreciate Bobby’s input. Not that it was a first, or anything.
Sam wiped her face and sniffled, leaning into her brother’s warmth. “I haven’t been to a doctor, but I took five different pregnancy tests and all of them came back positive, if that’s what you’re asking. I need to… I need to go and get checked out, but not right now.” She buried her face in Dean’s neck and gripped his shirt, just needing to hold on to him for a minute so that she could calm down.
John glared after the other man and opened his mouth to say something before deciding he wasn't going to bother. He was thankful to Bobby but he wasn't going to be showing it right now that was for sure. "We’ll get you set up with a doctor as soon as possible. Make sure you and the baby are both okay," he said after a second. "And Bobby's right; she needs to stay put." He looked over at Dean who seemed too far invested in taking care of Sam than agreeing with anything that was being said.
Dean's hold on his sister tightened a little as he wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her closer. He pushed her hair back and rubbed her back gently nodding his head. "Try and calm down. I mean, I know you get to freak out and cry a lot over the next nine months and all, but don't use all your points up today," he said, his tone light to try and make her laugh.
And she did laugh, though it was a wet sound and she sniffled again as she pulled back, scrubbing her face. “Am I staying with Bobby while you and Dean hunt, or am I renting an apartment while you two hunt?” Sam looked over at John, her anger spent and now just looking at him like a kid needing her father’s direction and attention, though she never released her grip on Dean. Who, by the way, seemed to be taking the news much better than John was.
John shook his head. "We're all staying here for the time being," he said, eyeing her. "If you're anything like your mother was, you're going to be pretty sick the next few months and besides, as much as Bobby wants to help, you’re my daughter."
"Maybe we can find a place in town or something. I mean, Bobby can't have all three of us invading his house and his life," Dean said, looking back at Sam.
“You’re going to stop hunting?” Sam stared at John like he’d just grown another head right in front of her. “Dad, look; I’d love to have a normal life where I could have a house and kids and be able to drop by and watch you give pony rides to your grandkids, but you don’t settle down. I have to because I’m having a kid and I don’t want to drag a child around on hunts, but you don’t and neither does Dean.” She sighed and let go of her brother, got to her feet and paced back and forth in front of the chair Dean was perched on.
“We should buy a house, set it up as a home base like Bobby has. I’ll stay home with my kid and do research and you and Dean can go back on the road. I’m not going to force either of you to settle down and stop hunting just because I got knocked up.” Sam walked over to John and gripped the tail of his shirt like she used to when she was a little girl. “Please, daddy. It’ll make me feel guilty if you and Dean stop hunting over this.”
"We can do that, later on down the road. Until this kid is born you're going to need someone around to look after you, and, besides, Sam; I didn't say we were going to stop hunting but at the same time I'm not going to run the risk of you getting hurt or bring something home that might go after you or my grandchild." He licked his lips before turning and looking at Sam, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Listen, we're all going to have to get our shit together over this but we're family and we take care of each other so don't feel guilty about that," he answered.
Dean watched Sam pace as found himself surprised by John's comments. He sounded more like Bobby than himself and he didn't really understand it even though he agreed with it. "Besides, Sammy, when have you ever known either of us to allow ourselves to be forced into anything?" he asked, pretty serious.
Sam looked over her shoulder and raised her brows, sending Dean a speaking look. If she hadn’t pushed, he never would’ve touched her. He probably hadn’t even thought about it until she crawled in bed with him and woke him up jerking him off that night two years ago. She turned back to John and rolled her shoulders, trying not to get pissed about needing to be taken care of.
Just because she was pregnant didn’t mean that she couldn’t protect herself. “Fine, okay, yeah; you and Dean go hunt and I’ll stay with Bobby. I won’t be alone, and you won’t get crazy being stuck in the same place for months on end.” She didn’t want Dean to leave, but he had the same wanderlust that John had; neither was the settling down type and Sam saw herself spending a good chunk of her life alone and only having contact with them when they needed research.
"Sam, you seem to have a problem making us stay but no problem making us go; does that make any sense to you?" John asked. Sam never just took an order or an answer for what it and John couldn't understand why she had to fight him on everything. "You think, for once in your life, you can just let it go?" He had just said they would hunt but that wasn't good enough? This was his baby girl they were talking about, even if she didn't like it, it didn't change anything.
Dean was still visibly off balance about this. He wanted to able to talk to her but at the same time he didn't. He never thought that she was with him because she couldn't get someone else or couldn't get better because God knows just looking at her…. They were thrown together about ninety-five percent of their lives and Dean was the only guy she never had to say goodbye to. He knew that she would meet someone while she was at college but it sort of killed part of him nonetheless. Not that he would ever tell her, by now he was good at just putting a smile on his face and ignoring everyone when he had to.
“I’m not making you go, and I’m not trying to make you go. You can’t tell me that, right now, your feet aren’t itching with the need to get out on the road and hunt something down. I’ve known you too long to think, even for a minute, that you’d let something like this stop you, so I’m just letting you know that I’m fine being left behind.” Sam snatched her laptop case from the floor at John’s feet and then went over to the couch and grabbed her duffel, slinging it over her shoulder. “But, for right now, I’m going to go throw up and then get some sleep. Good night.” She stomped off towards the stairs.
"Yeah, have the last word, Samantha; no surprise there," John called after her retreating back as she threw her normal fit. John and Sam were very much alike; both had to say what they had to say but couldn't listen to anyone else. They were right and everyone else was wrong, go figure. Sam didn't know jack fucking shit if she thought hunting was more important to John than his family. He hunted because of them, to protect them, and finding the fucking demon that had killed his wife and tried to kill his daughter. After all these years and no one was ever on the same page.
Dean got up and just about said ‘fuck both of them’ and stalked off towards the kitchen for another beer.
“It’s funny how one tiny little girl can turn that man upside down,” Bobby commented from the kitchen table, nudging a beer across the table at Dean. “Then again, she turns all of us inside out trying to keep tabs on her.”
Dean took the beer and swallowed half of it down. "Yeah, tell me about it," he mumbled, leaning against the counter and shaking his head. When Sam had called him freaking out he thought the worst but this he could say wasn't one of the things that had gone through his head.
“Might wanna head up and check on her in a bit. Girl that skinny losing her lunch all the time can’t be healthy. Then again, I think it’s more nerves than morning sickness, though she’s a lot skinnier than she should be, so maybe it is morning sickness.” Bobby turned his own bottle of beer on the table, nails slowly peeling the label.
Dean finished the beer on his second go around before throwing the bottle away. He nodded his head. "Yeah, I’ll check on her but I seriously just need a minute," he said. He would take care of Sam, he always did, but he was still trying to get a grip on this and all the shit that went with it now that everyone had stopped screaming. "I'll get her to a doctor tomorrow. I'll carry her if I have to."
Bobby snorted and shook his head. “Get a grip quick, because you’re sharing a room and a bed with her. Once I’ve had time to clear some things out and get another bed, you’ll be back to sleeping alone, but until then you’re in with her and your daddy can sleep in the goddamn car for all I care.”
Dean licked his lips and sighed, making a face. "I don't want to make her uncomfortable. She can have the bed, I can use the couch or the floor, if she wants me close-by," he said, looking back at Bobby before smirking. "God, I'm stuck between Sam and dad and you and dad for the next God knows how many months, huh?"
Bobby tugged at the brim of his hat and then scruffed his nails through his beard. “Better to be stuck between me and John than Sam and John. Those two are like two alpha dogs fighting over a bone, sometimes.” He pushed back from the table and tossed away his empty bottle before going to the cabinet and taking down a bottle of Johnny Walker and twisting off the cap. “Just wait until the mood swings start-your daddy’s gonna bolt when she starts sobbing while opening a can of Alpo for the dogs.”
"Please, you think that they’re bad now, you should have seen them when Sam just started acting like a teenager." Dean rolled his eyes; some of those fights still gave him a headache. Dean laughed, though; he knew when the time came it wasn't going to be that funny. "Oh, good times."
“Wonder who she’ll end up tapping to go out in the middle of the night for bean sprouts and peach sherbet with guacamole sauce?” Bobby mused, and then shook his head. “Anyway, go on up and look in on her right quick. And get some damn sleep; you look like a fucking zombie.”
Dean smirked. "Well, you know it isn't going to be dad going out for her," he joked, pushing himself up off the counter. "Alright, and, Bobby; thanks for keeping them from killing each other." He turned to leave. Bobby was an important part of their family, always had been. Moving to the steps, he headed upstairs to check on Sam even though he was still…. He just went.
When Dean opened the door of their usual room, he found Sam sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed in a pair of shorts and a tank top with bunnies all over it, and she was holding her shirt up, staring at her flat stomach as though waiting for something to leap out of it like in the Aliens movie. Her head came up and she shoved her shirt back down, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously as she looked at her brother. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when you came and got me,” she murmured, shifting uncomfortably on the end of the bed.
Dean looked her over for a second, cocking his head to the side as he studied her. He pressed his lips together and offered her a sort of forced smile. He just shrugged. "Don't worry about it," he answered, because he didn't know what else to say. "You feeling okay?" he asked.
Sam snorted and flopped back on the bed, hands in her hair. “You’re really fucked up about this, aren’t you? You’re acting too calm for me to think you’re anything but pissed off and worried out of your mind.”
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. What did she want him to say? "Was it really just some guy at a party?" he asked, not bothering to admit to anything. He thought; get it over with quick, take the sting and move on. Nothing new about his way of thinking.
“No, it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you who it really was. Some faceless, nameless guy at a party is good enough of a cover for Dad and Bobby. But I’m not going to tell you his name, either. Can’t have you tearing off across the country to rip his balls off.” Sam propped herself up on her elbows and patted the bed beside her, beckoning him to sit beside her. “You disappointed in me for lying to dad?”
Dean looked down and he just pressed his lips together not saying anything for a minute. He looked at the bed and decided to just sit down. "Now, would I do that?" he joked. He figured she would want to sleep soon anyway so he wouldn't be here long. "Nah," he said honestly. "Just shell shocked I guess." And hurt but he sure the fuck was going to tell her that.
“You’d do it in an instant, Dean, and you know it. Remember the first guy I ever dated, Jeremy Richards? You beat him up for kissing me on the cheek.” Sam rolled over and laid her head on Dean’s thigh, an arm wrapped around Dean’s waist. “I never should have left you,” she confessed softly.
Dean sighed and let his head fall back as he bit his bottom lip. "Yeah well, he just about to start feeling you up so whatever." He looked down at Sam a second as she rested against him. "Yeah… wish you hadn't," he said honestly. "I missed you, you know?"
“Missed you, too,” Sam replied, squeezing her brother tightly. Tears welled in her eyes again, needing to tell him the truth, but knowing that Dean would freak out and bolt made her hold her tongue. She pressed her face against his belly and breathed him in, heart swelling with love for him yet clenching tightly at having to lie to him. “Will you stay with me tonight? You don’t have to do anything, just hold me?”
Dean turned his face away because he really didn't want to. It was stupid and it was childish but he was hurt and he didn't really want to be a rock for his sister or a bumper for his father right now. He was just so tired, between what Sam had revealed and the driving he was about to seriously drop to the floor. "Yeah, I guess. We're going to be sharing the room until Bobby clears some shit out, anyway," he explained with a small smile.
When Sam looked up, the expression on her face was so hopeful. “Really?”
Dean closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah," he confirmed again, looking back at her a moment. "You look so thrilled," he joked.
“I was thrilled,” Sam replied, eyes dark and serious. “Until I realized that you’re not, so don’t worry about it.” She pulled away from him with a watery smile and crawled across the bed to lay on the far side of it, curled in on herself. “Night, Dean.”
Okay, so Dean made a joked and she got bitchy; how was that normal? Granted he was lying but Dean was a fairly good actor but he just pushed himself up. "You can have the bed, you need it more than I do," he commented, pushing himself up.
“Dean?” Sam asked, looking over her shoulder at him as he stood beside the bed. “Did I make a mistake coming back?”
Dean turned and looked back at Sam, shaking his head. "No, you belong here," he said and he meant those words. He just didn't know how to explain to his sister that he was being a girl about this at the moment. "With me, and with dad."
Sam rolled over and sat up, frowning at her brother. “I belong here? Dean, the only person in this house that isn’t pissed off about this is Bobby, and the only reason he’s not pissed at me is because he still sees me as a little girl. You can’t stand to be in the same room as me, and Dad went into a fucking rage.” She shook her head and shoved off of the bed, grabbing her duffel and tossing it on the bed. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here.” She knuckled her eyes and started pulling clothes out of her bag. “I’ll catch the bus and go see Pastor Jim. Maybe he won’t be pissed off at me.”
"Oh, Sam; shut the fuck up," Dean snapped. "Listen, I get the fact that you’re all emotional and insane right now, and I will put up with a lot of crap because of it and because I love you, but I'm not going to put up with you throwing a fit. I drove for 48 hours almost straight to bring your ass here. You tell me that you fucked some random dick at some fucking party where you were drunk off your ass and you expect me to just smile, give you a kiss goodnight and tuck you in? I will walk through fire for you, Sam, in a heartbeat, but you need to see past your own goddamn nose this time around."
It was on the tip of her tongue, edging at the back of her throat, but she swallowed it down, knowing that things would be worse if he knew the truth. Sam sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. “I didn’t mean to hurt you with this,” she said, staring down at the clothes fisted in her hands. “I’m so sorry, Dean. But, when I came back, I didn’t just come back to be here. I came back to you,” she swallowed, “if you want me.”
Dean opened his mouth to make a smartass comment but didn't. Instead he just shook his head, like their whole life with hunting, each other and their dad wasn't insane enough, right? "This other guy?" he asked finally. "And tell me the truth about this. I'm not trying to insult or hurt you but I need to know." Because he may be with her either way at this point. "Am I just the safe back up plan?" He always assumed that he was either way because family was everything to Dean but Sam could have friends and relationship outside their family. Dean wasn't like that and it was seriously becoming a big problem.
“No!” Sam burst out, looking horrified at the very idea. “Jesus Christ, Dean; what the hell makes you think I could do that to you? I’ve been in love with you since I was a kid, hero worshiped you since I was in diapers, and dreamed of marrying you one day even though it isn’t possible.”
Dean bit his bottom lip and nodded, rubbing his eyes for a second. That answer made him smirk for a second. He reached out and tugged the clothes from her hand. "Come here," he said, pulling her into him. "Fine, no getting married but will you settle for playing house?" he joked, pushing her hair back from her face.
Sam fell into his arms and clung to him, face buried in his chest. “I’ll take you any way that I can get you. God, I want that, though.”
Dean half expected her to start crying again, just because he assumed he would be getting that a lot over the next few months. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, protectively, and his body seemed to finally relax for the first time in the last twenty-four or so hours. "Let’s go to bed, okay?" he said into her hair after a few minutes. "Besides, you'll need rest because the first thing we do tomorrow is take you to the doctor."
“Oh God,” Sam groaned, face flushing with embarrassment. “That means I’m going to have to deal with getting a pelvic exam. Find me a female doctor, because I don’t want some creepy old guy shoving his fingers in me.” She pulled away and crawled up on the bed, climbed under the blankets and held up one corner for Dean, patting the bed beside her.
Dean laughed. "Yeah, I'll get right on that," he said moving towards the bed and crawled in beside Sam. "Tell me the truth, though; are you… okay? I mean, Bobby has me strung out about this, says you're too thin and all that." He was always right back into the same old shit. Sam was his first thought in the morning and the last one at night.
He’d never wanted children; he'd expressed that to Sam even, countless times growing up. Even now it wasn't a worry about Sam and the baby, the little third party wasn't even part of the picture yet. Not for Dean anyway.
“Well, when I’m heaving up everything I eat, I kind of lose weight. So, I’ve been trying to eat things that are better for me in the hopes that I wouldn’t puke it back up. It’s kind of working, but when I see the doctor I’m sure they’ll give me something or tell me the right foods to eat so I can gain a bit of weight.” Sam curled up beside Dean, one hand splayed on his chest and her head on his shoulder. “I feel okay, for the most part. Just can’t keep anything down and I’m kind of an emotional wreck since, you know, I’m eighteen, having a baby, and the father would rather run for the hills than be a father.”
Curling up to Sam he just studied her carefully. "I hope so, this whole baby thing is sort of new to most of us, I guess. Well, other than dad, but…." He shrugged, not knowing how much help his father would be for the time being. He settled down and cleared his throat. "You know I still want a name, right?" he said after a second.
Sam leaned up on one elbow, looking down into her brother’s face. “You know I’m not going to give you one. Not just because I don’t want you to beat him to a pulp, but also because it wouldn’t make a difference. He doesn’t want kids and he told me that before we ever slept together. Besides, I think I was just convenient when he couldn’t be bothered to pick up someone else. Doesn’t matter, though; I’m here and I’ll do fine on my own.” She chuckled and shook her head, amused that she was telling Dean about himself and he had no idea.
"And you know I'm not going to give up that easily, right?" Dean asked as he settled back. He could easily understand not wanting kids, he was personally just never near any to know what the fuck to do with them. He moved over on his side and cocked his head. "Yeah, seems to be a lot of that going around these days," he mumbled more to himself. Sex really wasn't a big deal, not to most people anyway, and he had finally seemed to be able to realize that his sister was a member of the human race just like everyone else. "Seriously though, go to sleep. You know we're going to get woken up at some God awful hour for some stupid reason."
“Yeah, okay,” Sam muttered as she lay back down and cuddled into Dean’s side. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily, tired from the long drive and the emotional rollercoaster since stepping foot in Bobby’s junkyard. “Hey, Dean?” she said quietly, tipping her head back just enough to see the curve of her brother’s cheek. “You’d tell me if you didn’t like this, wouldn’t you? I mean, if you’ve already got someone else…”
Wrapping an arm around Sam, Dean settled down and closed his eyes. He was about ready to drop and it was even more now that he was in a warm bed and lying down. He licked his lips before opening his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, I would tell you and no there isn't," he answered after a second. Not to say there hadn’t been a few… okay, so there hadn’t been but it was not because he was pathetic, it was because of how much hunting John and he had done since Sam left.
“Okay,” Sam murmured, voice slurred with sleep. She dropped off with the soft sound of Dean’s breathing and the strong thump of his heartbeat ringing in her ears.
Curling up to Sam, Dean fell asleep within seconds. He was so tired and it felt so good to be sharing a bed with Sam again. It was kind of lonely sleeping alone as he had found out.
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