When they (and you know who "they" are, so THEY) try delivering a package to me, but I'm not home, or it won't fit in the stupid mailbox, I wish they'd take it back to the post office (or Team Brown Soccer Ball Storage Facility, or FedEx We-Don't-Treat-Parcels-Like-Sporting-Equipment Place) and make me come get it. That way, I know it's not in a
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