Reflection
Portsmouth, New Hampshire, July 27, 2006
Seiko watched the water as she'd done every night since she left Cynric. The desire to return to a mountain somewhere, to return to her isolation was strong. So very strong. But because she desired it, she could not. She had to stay and endure.
She glanced at the structure behind her, Gideon's warehouse was sparsely illuminated. It was the odd things she held dear in recent nights. Gideon, despite the decades of rancour, had been nearly a sibling to her and at the moment, she found she missed him. In fact, she was quite nostalgic these evenings. She wondered what Takeorei would have said on an evening such as this if she had not become enraged and murdered him by crushing his skull onto the tatami of her Sanctuary. Or what Wu-Jin would do had his own brother not murdered him in sacrifice to the Crone. Or what Chouji would say to watch her step away from that which she most desired a second time. Would his shade be disappointed that she seemingly had not yet learned her lesson or would he be proud to see his weapon still so honed and sharp that she could still cut herself?
She had not thought of Chouji in a long time. It disturbed her.
Her gaze returned to the water, watching the light dance upon it's ever-rippling surface.
She had never been so..envious of water before. It's mutability. It's persistance and cleverness. It's patience and willingness to hold any form or shape given to it without question. It was content to flow or to sit quiet and still. Shallow or deep, it accepted it's fate and sought to rise above it, able to float away on the breeze should it be dissatisfied with it's lot.
Seiko was of the earth, stable and set in her ways. With earth, change happened slowly or with sudden shifts which left devastation and disorientation in it's wake. Earth was solid and unyielding. Unbending. It can be worn down or away but only with a great deal of time and effort. The earth shifts only when it must, to accomodate those things within that need accomdating. Earth does not adapt, it perseveres. It survives. It endures.
The garden was gone.
Seiko reached up to toy with the ends of her hair absently, a girlish gesture few have ever witnessed, her eyes seeing beyond the dark liquid waves as if scrying into the past of only an hour before... The scent of rotted blood and dead plant life returned to her nostrils. Cynric had destroyed what her hands had created... akin to strangling a child in it's crib.
Her gaze had turned red at the devastation. A wind filled her ears and her beast nearly took her over completely. It was only the slow realization that there were also bags of fertilizer, top soil, and such present which kept her from... what, she was not certain, but it was fortunate she would never know. Instead, she walked further into the garden and searched until she found what she was looking for. And once she found it, she did what needed to be done before turning her back on the landscape around her and leaving, returning to the water to contemplate her situation.
In a moment of anger, a world she was just coming to accept had to be undone. In a moment of clarity, a world she had never wanted became the thing she was not certain she could survive without. It was that uncertainty that put steel in her spine and she would not reverse the decision she had made.
It was not enough to remove her own wedding ring. She had to take his as well for she would not leave the bit of gold behind for him as a crutch. And it was not enough to step aside for some time while Cynric sought the answers he was so desperate to have, it was necessary that she pack and leave.
And the pain of that decision was unexpected and unnerving. It angered her with it's intesity.
Pain teaches.
She could think of no greater act of sacrifice than to end Cynric St. George.
Seiko dipped a toe into the water.
Seiko watched the water as she'd done every night since she left Cynric. The desire to return to a mountain somewhere, to return to her isolation was strong. So very strong. But because she desired it, she could not. She had to stay and endure.
She glanced at the structure behind her, Gideon's warehouse was sparsely illuminated. It was the odd things she held dear in recent nights. Gideon, despite the decades of rancour, had been nearly a sibling to her and at the moment, she found she missed him. In fact, she was quite nostalgic these evenings. She wondered what Takeorei would have said on an evening such as this if she had not become enraged and murdered him by crushing his skull onto the tatami of her Sanctuary. Or what Wu-Jin would do had his own brother not murdered him in sacrifice to the Crone. Or what Chouji would say to watch her step away from that which she most desired a second time. Would his shade be disappointed that she seemingly had not yet learned her lesson or would he be proud to see his weapon still so honed and sharp that she could still cut herself?
She had not thought of Chouji in a long time. It disturbed her.
Her gaze returned to the water, watching the light dance upon it's ever-rippling surface.
She had never been so..envious of water before. It's mutability. It's persistance and cleverness. It's patience and willingness to hold any form or shape given to it without question. It was content to flow or to sit quiet and still. Shallow or deep, it accepted it's fate and sought to rise above it, able to float away on the breeze should it be dissatisfied with it's lot.
Seiko was of the earth, stable and set in her ways. With earth, change happened slowly or with sudden shifts which left devastation and disorientation in it's wake. Earth was solid and unyielding. Unbending. It can be worn down or away but only with a great deal of time and effort. The earth shifts only when it must, to accomodate those things within that need accomdating. Earth does not adapt, it perseveres. It survives. It endures.
The garden was gone.
Seiko reached up to toy with the ends of her hair absently, a girlish gesture few have ever witnessed, her eyes seeing beyond the dark liquid waves as if scrying into the past of only an hour before... The scent of rotted blood and dead plant life returned to her nostrils. Cynric had destroyed what her hands had created... akin to strangling a child in it's crib.
Her gaze had turned red at the devastation. A wind filled her ears and her beast nearly took her over completely. It was only the slow realization that there were also bags of fertilizer, top soil, and such present which kept her from... what, she was not certain, but it was fortunate she would never know. Instead, she walked further into the garden and searched until she found what she was looking for. And once she found it, she did what needed to be done before turning her back on the landscape around her and leaving, returning to the water to contemplate her situation.
In a moment of anger, a world she was just coming to accept had to be undone. In a moment of clarity, a world she had never wanted became the thing she was not certain she could survive without. It was that uncertainty that put steel in her spine and she would not reverse the decision she had made.
It was not enough to remove her own wedding ring. She had to take his as well for she would not leave the bit of gold behind for him as a crutch. And it was not enough to step aside for some time while Cynric sought the answers he was so desperate to have, it was necessary that she pack and leave.
And the pain of that decision was unexpected and unnerving. It angered her with it's intesity.
Pain teaches.
She could think of no greater act of sacrifice than to end Cynric St. George.
Seiko dipped a toe into the water.