it's my world you're in it
As I have added new people (welcome!) and deleted all my old enteries and had written a short almost bulletpoint of what has happened maybe I owe to write a real journal entry and catchup.
It has been a year since I first started chatting to Chris on a dating website and now we are engaged, many may say we are rushing into things but then again there are other romances and relationships in the world build on similar grounds or under other circumstances. One Night pregnancies, arranged marriages or like our family friends (RIP both) after 9 days of meeting one another they married - happily for over 30 years till death parted them (then reunited).
Chris proposed to me in Helsinki on Hietaniemi Beach, he didnt even get his knee on the ground before I accepted! He had planned to do it the day before in Tampere whilst watching Sonata Arctica, Children of Bodom and Nightwish perform at the stadium. But SA and Nightwish planed neiother songs he had in mind.
We have been engaged for 3 months but do not plan to get wed until the 28th October 2017.
So plenty of time for a long engagement to be certain. The current strain is waiting on a house Chris has made an offer on, the owner has accepted its all the solicitors we are waiting on as she wants out before xmas and we ant in just after. Due to work contract and conditions I cannot move until January and with no date on the house I cannot get the ball rolling for a staff transfer to the branch in my new town. Or as one co-worker said organise a leaving party&present ... I only just got given an Engagement present two weeks ago they had been trying to organise since August! lol
I will write more on the wedding plans but we have alot done already!
Theme is Rustic Autumn with touches of Halloween.
We have a pintrest board you can go see and laugh, we have so many people following that board already!
I have my dress!! <3
As I said I was happy for a rental or secondhand that is what i have a second hand dress that basically fits me near perfect. Simple £200 woot one less expense.
We have Best Man, Matron of Honor and Two Bridesmaids, Cake maker sorted (Matron of Honor), Reception, DJ, Make Up, Nail Artist wooot fuckyeah for being well prepared! or too excited?
I am worried about the move as I am leaving home for the first time. As really I am fucking dirt poor, I do not spend money stupidly I have just always earned shit so never been able to earn enough to move out or had friends to go with (exs dont go there!).
I had a loan to run my own retail business (in an actual shop not an online thing) during the peak of the recession I was lucky to have kept it going for the two year lease but all my savings went with it so had to reluctantly give up on go bankrupt. So dirt poor D:
Plus Mum's house is four bedroom with just two of us, plenty of room to do our own thing help we sometimes surprise each other that either of us are home together lol My only main worry is how Mum will cope with the bills on her own and her being lonely (honestly I burst into tears thinking about it)
Logan (my male manx) will have to stay with Mum as his temperament he is not going to cope with a move and Satu (female manx) will be coming with me to see if she can.
The house is not just for Chris and Me, Chris' brother will also be living with us and every weekend we will be having his two nephews over. So more to see if Satu can cope with the kids.
This is Chris' current living arrangement in a rental house though we take turns visiting one another on weekends. Chris' brother separated from the mother of his children around the time we started dating and has been living with Chris so this life I am partly used to by now.
I may rant about my opinions on her at a later date lol
as women bitch ;P
Since May 2013 I have been working for a Clothing Company along side the sweet shop job. The Company is called White Stuff and we are not White Company as many people I meet get excited thiking that, nope we do colours... apart from Black! The one colour my wardrobe is mostly filled with! So thats hoe colour is injected into my life.
I made an elderly woman's day once for 'meeting a real "goth"' whilst i was working so may let you know are clients are on the upper middle class and yummy mummies? Our plain white shirts start at over £32.50 so make your guess lol
I started in one of our Top Ten stores then moved to a store a tad closer to home as bus fares are ridiculously expensive around here! So now my hopes lie on a transfer to what will soon become my new home town as Chris' job makes 3 times the amount I earn. Though I work part time ;P
When i vent about anything of work it will be referred to as WS as having to jobs you may need it for a while.
My acute anxiety has gotten worst over the last 3 months with my medication being temporally upped. Not happy I hate the anxiety but then again who does? Because I am leaving the area soon my GP has told me he wont do anything further for my treatment, as it is effecting how well I sleep as well as my legs - so cheers?
As the ever on going saga that started in 2005 for my knee and 2007 for my left hip. Buggered.
In September 2013 the hospital decided they would just smooth down the cartilage to get me to shut up about the fact I hurt but xrays and MRIs show nothing.
Turned out there was something wrong and when I came around the consultant told me it was no wonder I was in pain as there was a labral tear (a tear in the cartilage around the hip socket) right in a section of hip that does not show on most xrays or MRIs?! As he was unsure how to fix it was sent to a specialist in Oxford and had the same operation 11 months later in August 2014 - omg a private hospital fancy! :D
Well going on 7 years from the incident that caused it the cartilage was so badly damaged from scar tissue I had 3/4 removed now have to be careful about falling over as can easily dislocate the left hip as it's "suction cup" is damaged. Though in May an MRI was done on my Right Hip as to just check and results show extra bone growth on the ball of the hip going into the cartilage so may have to have surgery on that as well which I would welcome as rather have it shaved than cartilage removed. The priavte hospital just wants me to have physio therapy first before making a decision.
The left knee from 2005 and on going (see a pattern here). Confirmed it is now out of alignment by 20mm which is in the hospitals "top limit of realms of normality", depsite an older xray&MRI shows it has moved up to that. I was told to exercise and strengthen the knee then they will operate, did what I was told 6 months later at a review. They said I was coping and had a job so dismissed me as they would only help if it was 21mm out.... Biggest WTF ever.
I did what they told me and because I work it means I do not count any more, makes me think if I was not working they would of helped? Or if i was actually a pain in the arse and kicked up hell instead of being a polite good patient.
So the saga continues it protests and stops me doing stuff, as Tramadol has no effect on me anymore GP has halted all pain meds so my tolerate reduces. I do not use walking sticks or crutches as basically doctors do not want me to weaken my legs by relying on aids - So have an old walking stick I self administer for myself on really bad days, though at WS walking aids are a 'danger to the public' so cannot be used at work.
For about 2 months now I have had terrible sleep, constantly walking up from the pain as well as some anxiety. Though new one is pains down both legs like I have run a marathon in my sleep that throbbing pain.
I sleep perfectly still like the dead XD So is a mystery of how my GP said when I went last week.
"It could be *some latin* but I do not have time to examine you can you go and see someone else" yes really.
So far two heavy blankets on my legs the weight and heat seems to be reducing it, will have to wait and see.
Despite my medical problems and been told I could be on benefits/welfare for just one of my problems I do not claim, I go to work at two part time jobs occasionally volunteering extra hours despite the pain as hell I need money D:
It's I guess will power and pride that I go out and earn my way as a citizen, I will contribute as much as I can to society. I do not want to be another leech on the tax payer when I am able to work, it is a real bugbear of mine there are people in this country who are able bodied (no medical problems) that are just too lazy to work.n *endrant* dont get me wrong those who have disabilities or problems I have no problem with no working or being able to work its those lazy ones :)
Well I guess that is a round up of what my life is at currently so with that background in we can move on with the future :)
Run now if you wish lol
I really should go to bed and by bed I mean I am gonna lie there watching family guy on BBC3 lol
I miss my million and one icons ;_;
It has been a year since I first started chatting to Chris on a dating website and now we are engaged, many may say we are rushing into things but then again there are other romances and relationships in the world build on similar grounds or under other circumstances. One Night pregnancies, arranged marriages or like our family friends (RIP both) after 9 days of meeting one another they married - happily for over 30 years till death parted them (then reunited).
Chris proposed to me in Helsinki on Hietaniemi Beach, he didnt even get his knee on the ground before I accepted! He had planned to do it the day before in Tampere whilst watching Sonata Arctica, Children of Bodom and Nightwish perform at the stadium. But SA and Nightwish planed neiother songs he had in mind.
We have been engaged for 3 months but do not plan to get wed until the 28th October 2017.
So plenty of time for a long engagement to be certain. The current strain is waiting on a house Chris has made an offer on, the owner has accepted its all the solicitors we are waiting on as she wants out before xmas and we ant in just after. Due to work contract and conditions I cannot move until January and with no date on the house I cannot get the ball rolling for a staff transfer to the branch in my new town. Or as one co-worker said organise a leaving party&present ... I only just got given an Engagement present two weeks ago they had been trying to organise since August! lol
I will write more on the wedding plans but we have alot done already!
Theme is Rustic Autumn with touches of Halloween.
We have a pintrest board you can go see and laugh, we have so many people following that board already!
I have my dress!! <3
As I said I was happy for a rental or secondhand that is what i have a second hand dress that basically fits me near perfect. Simple £200 woot one less expense.
We have Best Man, Matron of Honor and Two Bridesmaids, Cake maker sorted (Matron of Honor), Reception, DJ, Make Up, Nail Artist wooot fuckyeah for being well prepared! or too excited?
I am worried about the move as I am leaving home for the first time. As really I am fucking dirt poor, I do not spend money stupidly I have just always earned shit so never been able to earn enough to move out or had friends to go with (exs dont go there!).
I had a loan to run my own retail business (in an actual shop not an online thing) during the peak of the recession I was lucky to have kept it going for the two year lease but all my savings went with it so had to reluctantly give up on go bankrupt. So dirt poor D:
Plus Mum's house is four bedroom with just two of us, plenty of room to do our own thing help we sometimes surprise each other that either of us are home together lol My only main worry is how Mum will cope with the bills on her own and her being lonely (honestly I burst into tears thinking about it)
Logan (my male manx) will have to stay with Mum as his temperament he is not going to cope with a move and Satu (female manx) will be coming with me to see if she can.
The house is not just for Chris and Me, Chris' brother will also be living with us and every weekend we will be having his two nephews over. So more to see if Satu can cope with the kids.
This is Chris' current living arrangement in a rental house though we take turns visiting one another on weekends. Chris' brother separated from the mother of his children around the time we started dating and has been living with Chris so this life I am partly used to by now.
I may rant about my opinions on her at a later date lol
as women bitch ;P
Since May 2013 I have been working for a Clothing Company along side the sweet shop job. The Company is called White Stuff and we are not White Company as many people I meet get excited thiking that, nope we do colours... apart from Black! The one colour my wardrobe is mostly filled with! So thats hoe colour is injected into my life.
I made an elderly woman's day once for 'meeting a real "goth"' whilst i was working so may let you know are clients are on the upper middle class and yummy mummies? Our plain white shirts start at over £32.50 so make your guess lol
I started in one of our Top Ten stores then moved to a store a tad closer to home as bus fares are ridiculously expensive around here! So now my hopes lie on a transfer to what will soon become my new home town as Chris' job makes 3 times the amount I earn. Though I work part time ;P
When i vent about anything of work it will be referred to as WS as having to jobs you may need it for a while.
My acute anxiety has gotten worst over the last 3 months with my medication being temporally upped. Not happy I hate the anxiety but then again who does? Because I am leaving the area soon my GP has told me he wont do anything further for my treatment, as it is effecting how well I sleep as well as my legs - so cheers?
As the ever on going saga that started in 2005 for my knee and 2007 for my left hip. Buggered.
In September 2013 the hospital decided they would just smooth down the cartilage to get me to shut up about the fact I hurt but xrays and MRIs show nothing.
Turned out there was something wrong and when I came around the consultant told me it was no wonder I was in pain as there was a labral tear (a tear in the cartilage around the hip socket) right in a section of hip that does not show on most xrays or MRIs?! As he was unsure how to fix it was sent to a specialist in Oxford and had the same operation 11 months later in August 2014 - omg a private hospital fancy! :D
Well going on 7 years from the incident that caused it the cartilage was so badly damaged from scar tissue I had 3/4 removed now have to be careful about falling over as can easily dislocate the left hip as it's "suction cup" is damaged. Though in May an MRI was done on my Right Hip as to just check and results show extra bone growth on the ball of the hip going into the cartilage so may have to have surgery on that as well which I would welcome as rather have it shaved than cartilage removed. The priavte hospital just wants me to have physio therapy first before making a decision.
The left knee from 2005 and on going (see a pattern here). Confirmed it is now out of alignment by 20mm which is in the hospitals "top limit of realms of normality", depsite an older xray&MRI shows it has moved up to that. I was told to exercise and strengthen the knee then they will operate, did what I was told 6 months later at a review. They said I was coping and had a job so dismissed me as they would only help if it was 21mm out.... Biggest WTF ever.
I did what they told me and because I work it means I do not count any more, makes me think if I was not working they would of helped? Or if i was actually a pain in the arse and kicked up hell instead of being a polite good patient.
So the saga continues it protests and stops me doing stuff, as Tramadol has no effect on me anymore GP has halted all pain meds so my tolerate reduces. I do not use walking sticks or crutches as basically doctors do not want me to weaken my legs by relying on aids - So have an old walking stick I self administer for myself on really bad days, though at WS walking aids are a 'danger to the public' so cannot be used at work.
For about 2 months now I have had terrible sleep, constantly walking up from the pain as well as some anxiety. Though new one is pains down both legs like I have run a marathon in my sleep that throbbing pain.
I sleep perfectly still like the dead XD So is a mystery of how my GP said when I went last week.
"It could be *some latin* but I do not have time to examine you can you go and see someone else" yes really.
So far two heavy blankets on my legs the weight and heat seems to be reducing it, will have to wait and see.
Despite my medical problems and been told I could be on benefits/welfare for just one of my problems I do not claim, I go to work at two part time jobs occasionally volunteering extra hours despite the pain as hell I need money D:
It's I guess will power and pride that I go out and earn my way as a citizen, I will contribute as much as I can to society. I do not want to be another leech on the tax payer when I am able to work, it is a real bugbear of mine there are people in this country who are able bodied (no medical problems) that are just too lazy to work.n *endrant* dont get me wrong those who have disabilities or problems I have no problem with no working or being able to work its those lazy ones :)
Well I guess that is a round up of what my life is at currently so with that background in we can move on with the future :)
Run now if you wish lol
I really should go to bed and by bed I mean I am gonna lie there watching family guy on BBC3 lol
I miss my million and one icons ;_;