Stupid thing wouldn't let me post in Cassie's LJ...
Response to kiss_me_cassie's meme prompt...
Prompt: Excessive flirting and jealousy.
Fandoms: TWW, DW
Disclaimer: These toys aren't mine.
*****************
"Jooosh!" She winced inwardly; it sounded like she was whining. Or it would have sounded like she was whining, if she hadn't been stumbling over tree roots in the dark while trying to keep up with the biggest whiner in the history of the world. "Slow down!"
"Oh, no, Donnatella." The world's biggest whiner was getting snippy. "You nagged. You nagged until I left the comfort of my cabin to get out and 'enjoy Camp David by the light of the moon'. I left my laptop, full of crucial data that the President will need in order to negotiate tomorrow, just so that I could obtain the exercise my sagging, middle-aged body apparently requires more than peace in the Middle East. We're doing this, and we're doing it as fast as possible, so that I can go back to my cabin and save lives."
She rolled her eyes as she hurried after him. "I never said you were sagging *or* middle-aged."
"You compared me to Grover Cleveland!"
"Okay," she conceded. "He was a tad hefty, but what I meant was that he had to have covert tumor surgery while in office beca--"
"Grover Cleveland!" He turned so quickly that she nearly bumped into him. "Of all the--AAAAAIIEEEE!"
She turned and screamed herself. A hulking figure was suddenly there behind them, crashing toward them through the trees. In the limited moonlight, she only got an impression of huge, dark, and spiny before she felt Josh grab her hand and tug her into a run.
They'd made it less than fifty yards when the roaring and crashing was suddenly silenced. In the absence of sound, they stopped too, and looked around carefully.
Three figures stood over the body of something that was definitely dead and definitely...well, definitely not human.
"Oh my god," she breathed, and felt Josh squeeze her hand.
One of the figures strode toward them. "Hi!"
"Hi," said Josh.
"Captain Jack Harkness." The man reached into his coat and flashed his badge. "Section B3, Xeno-genetics."
"I've never seen credentials like that before." Josh said tightly.
"And that's not the only thing you've never seen before tonight," the captain countered.
Donna found her voice. "What is that thing?"
The captain turned to her and started an appreciative smile. "And you are?"
"Donna Moss."
He stuck out his hand, his smile widening. "Pleased to meet you, Donna Moss."
Incredibly, he appeared to be flirting with her, but she felt her own lips begin to stretch into an answering smile before she could stop them.
"And I'm Josh Lyman." Josh stepped in front of her, blocking the handshake. "I work for the President, and she works for me. What the hell is going on here?"
"That's classified," the captain said, looking past Josh's shoulder to catch her eye again. "I'm afraid I can't talk about it."
"I have clearance," Josh insisted.
"Well, the Doctor here can explain a bit better." The captain waved over one of his companions, a tall, lanky man in a dark jacket.
"You're a doctor?" asked Josh.
The man reached into his jacket and flipped out his own badge. "More or less."
"Mind telling me how this thing got into Camp David while the President and half the oil players in the Gulf are in residence?"
The Doctor exchanged a glance with the captain. "We need to..."
The captain took over. "We need to liaise with the Secret Service," he said. "The problem's been neutralized--" he glanced over at the body, frowning, "--permanently, but a heads up is in order." He turned to Donna and his expression eased. "Who's in charge of the detail, here, Donna?"
Josh interrupted before she could answer. "I have a cell phone. Let's call in right now."
"Ah," said the Doctor. "May I?" He took the phone from Josh and pointed a small tool at it. "We're out in the wilderness, here. Just need to access, ah, an encrypted network..."
"Hey!"
The captain took advantage of Josh's distraction to sidle closer to Donna. "You really work for this guy?"
She tried to resist the urge to smile at him. "Is there really such a thing as an encrypted cell phone network, Captain?"
He grinned. "Call me Jack."
"Jack?"
If anything, his smile grew. "You have no idea, Donna. When the Doctor is finished with that thing, your boss will be able to call outer space."
This time she did laugh. "He'd probably settle for the unlisted numbers of every member of the House of Representatives."
Jack made an amused sound. "He thinks too small, Donna."
"He's just focused."
"Focused on you?" Jack leaned in to her, raising his eyebrows.
"On his work." The man was invading her personal space, but somehow she didn't mind.
"What a waste," he murmured.
She gave him a small smile. "I'm okay with it," she said.
"Well, if you're interested in a position where you would be appreciated, we happen to have an opening for an intelligent..."
"DOCTOR!" A young woman's voice called out--the third person, who'd been standing watch over the body. "His arms and legs!"
The Doctor and Jack were over there in seconds. She noted that the Doctor was still holding Josh's cell, and she followed Josh to get a better look at the creature.
The creature, whose arms and legs were definitely pulsing, as if to a heartbeat, and inflating rapidly. She leaned in for a closer look, but Jack put his arm out. "Careful, Donna. Stay back."
"Got a knife?" the Doctor asked. Jack tossed him one and he and the young woman leaned over the body.
"Better stand back." Jack turned to Donna and Josh and herded them back several paces. "It could get messy."
"What *is* that, anyway?" Josh asked.
"Difficult to explain," Jack began.
"I feel like I've stepped into an episode of X-Files," put in Donna.
"Great show," said Jack. "At least the first few seasons."
"Yeah--after a while it just started to go downhill," Donna agreed.
"It's always the way with those auteur shows."
"Can we focus?" Josh snapped. "What the hell is that thing?"
"Well, let me try and ease your minds," said Jack, "And start by saying that it absolutely did not fall to Earth encased in a mysterious meteorite, on the outskirts of some hick town full of hillbillies."
Donna couldn't stop a snort of laughter.
"So we--created?--it?" asked Josh, ignoring her.
"Depends on who you mean by we, I guess," said Jack. "It's classified, as I said, but approved by all NATO member countries." He looked over his shoulder. "How we doing, Doctor?"
"Good to go!" the Doctor called back.
"Well," said Jack, turning back to them and stepping away. "We have some work ahead of us tonight, so I'll have to leave you now."
Donna blinked and frowned as she peered past him. There was nothing to look at but trees and shadows in the moonlight. "Where did the Doctor go? And how did they take that--thing--with them?"
"They've recovered it and are taking it back to the lab for testing," Jack said.
"But it was huge!"
"Nothing's ever that big for that long," Jack said, winking as he backed away.
"Hey, Captain Innuendo," snapped Josh. "How about some answers?"
"Sorry," said Jack, as he backed further into the shadows. "I'm afraid I haven't any more to give. Unless, Donna?"
"Yes?" She stepped forward.
"You could take me up on my offer, get all the answers you want."
"Offer?" Josh exploded. "You were alone with the guy for twenty seconds!"
"*Job* offer," Donna said wearily. "And no."
"YOu sure you won't change your mind?" Jack asked, his grin shining in the darkness.
"I'm sure," she said, returning the smile.
"In that case, here's to future meetings." He looked her up and down appreciatively, and then in a rush of wind, he vanished into the shadows.
"'Here's to future meetings'," mimicked Josh. "How do you find these losers? I mean, it's--HEY! They took my damn cell phone!"
"I just seem to pick them, every time, Josh," she said meaningfully. "And I can't believe you didn't get it back from the Doctor when he was fiddling--"
"Heads up!" a voice from the trees called.
"Jack?" Donna turned and saw the cell phone barreling towards her. She caught it deftly and tossed it to Josh. "Thanks!"
"Farewell, fair Donna!" There was another rush of wind, and then nothing was visible again.
"'Farewell, fair Donna'," Josh mimicked again, head bowed over the cell as he punched its buttons. "God, what an annoying, egotistical, blow--oh, my God. When did you find Burley's home phone number?
"I don't have Burley's home number," she said, turning back toward the cabin.
"Yes, you do. It's right here in my phone," he waggled it at her. "'Burley, Jerry, home'. Right before 'Butterfield, Ron'."
"I haven't updated your phone in weeks," she said, coming back towards him and peering down at the tiny screen.
"You must have." Josh was scrolling through his contact list. "You've put every member of the House of Representatives in here!"
"No, I didn't--oh."
"What?" He didn't look up.
"Jack--the Captain--was talking about how the Doctor could upgrade the software in your phone, and I said you'd be happier with..." She cleared her throat. "The unlisted numbers for the entire House of Representatives."
"And they downloaded that onto my phone? In what, ten seconds?"
"Those secret government agencies."
"I guess." Josh was staring at the glorious treasure of his updated contact list again. "It scares the crap out of me that I have just about the highest clearance it's possible to have and I still have no clue about these things."
"I don't think it's your clearance that's the issue." She couldn't keep the sarcasm completely out of her voice.
He looked up at her. "You're probably right." With a last glance at the phone, he switched it off and pocketed it. "Have I had enough exercise for tonight?"
She nodded. "Enough excitement, anyway."
They turned for home and walked in silence for a bit.
"Grover Cleveland?" he asked, after a few minutes.
"I just meant--"
"He opposed women's suffrage, married a girl thirty years younger than himself, and vetoed bills every second Friday!"
"You'd use the veto every day if you had it."
"Tell me, Donnatella."
"You're nothing like Grover Cleveland," she said wearily.
"That's right," he said, shooting her a grin. "And in what ways, specifically, am I not like him?"
She rolled her eyes. "Ideologically, politically, and personally, you--"
"And one other thing?"
"Physically, also..."
"That's better."
"In all those ways," she said dryly, "You are the complete opposite of Grover Cleveland."
"In fact, I'm an extremely good-looking, full-throated supporter of women's rights, who is in no way attracted to young girls."
"You may actually be a woman yourself."
"Hey!" he sputtered.
Laughing, she sprinted off ahead of him. He chased her all the way back to the cabin. Mission accomplished, she thought as he tackled her. One way or another, he was getting his exercise tonight.
Prompt: Excessive flirting and jealousy.
Fandoms: TWW, DW
Disclaimer: These toys aren't mine.
*****************
"Jooosh!" She winced inwardly; it sounded like she was whining. Or it would have sounded like she was whining, if she hadn't been stumbling over tree roots in the dark while trying to keep up with the biggest whiner in the history of the world. "Slow down!"
"Oh, no, Donnatella." The world's biggest whiner was getting snippy. "You nagged. You nagged until I left the comfort of my cabin to get out and 'enjoy Camp David by the light of the moon'. I left my laptop, full of crucial data that the President will need in order to negotiate tomorrow, just so that I could obtain the exercise my sagging, middle-aged body apparently requires more than peace in the Middle East. We're doing this, and we're doing it as fast as possible, so that I can go back to my cabin and save lives."
She rolled her eyes as she hurried after him. "I never said you were sagging *or* middle-aged."
"You compared me to Grover Cleveland!"
"Okay," she conceded. "He was a tad hefty, but what I meant was that he had to have covert tumor surgery while in office beca--"
"Grover Cleveland!" He turned so quickly that she nearly bumped into him. "Of all the--AAAAAIIEEEE!"
She turned and screamed herself. A hulking figure was suddenly there behind them, crashing toward them through the trees. In the limited moonlight, she only got an impression of huge, dark, and spiny before she felt Josh grab her hand and tug her into a run.
They'd made it less than fifty yards when the roaring and crashing was suddenly silenced. In the absence of sound, they stopped too, and looked around carefully.
Three figures stood over the body of something that was definitely dead and definitely...well, definitely not human.
"Oh my god," she breathed, and felt Josh squeeze her hand.
One of the figures strode toward them. "Hi!"
"Hi," said Josh.
"Captain Jack Harkness." The man reached into his coat and flashed his badge. "Section B3, Xeno-genetics."
"I've never seen credentials like that before." Josh said tightly.
"And that's not the only thing you've never seen before tonight," the captain countered.
Donna found her voice. "What is that thing?"
The captain turned to her and started an appreciative smile. "And you are?"
"Donna Moss."
He stuck out his hand, his smile widening. "Pleased to meet you, Donna Moss."
Incredibly, he appeared to be flirting with her, but she felt her own lips begin to stretch into an answering smile before she could stop them.
"And I'm Josh Lyman." Josh stepped in front of her, blocking the handshake. "I work for the President, and she works for me. What the hell is going on here?"
"That's classified," the captain said, looking past Josh's shoulder to catch her eye again. "I'm afraid I can't talk about it."
"I have clearance," Josh insisted.
"Well, the Doctor here can explain a bit better." The captain waved over one of his companions, a tall, lanky man in a dark jacket.
"You're a doctor?" asked Josh.
The man reached into his jacket and flipped out his own badge. "More or less."
"Mind telling me how this thing got into Camp David while the President and half the oil players in the Gulf are in residence?"
The Doctor exchanged a glance with the captain. "We need to..."
The captain took over. "We need to liaise with the Secret Service," he said. "The problem's been neutralized--" he glanced over at the body, frowning, "--permanently, but a heads up is in order." He turned to Donna and his expression eased. "Who's in charge of the detail, here, Donna?"
Josh interrupted before she could answer. "I have a cell phone. Let's call in right now."
"Ah," said the Doctor. "May I?" He took the phone from Josh and pointed a small tool at it. "We're out in the wilderness, here. Just need to access, ah, an encrypted network..."
"Hey!"
The captain took advantage of Josh's distraction to sidle closer to Donna. "You really work for this guy?"
She tried to resist the urge to smile at him. "Is there really such a thing as an encrypted cell phone network, Captain?"
He grinned. "Call me Jack."
"Jack?"
If anything, his smile grew. "You have no idea, Donna. When the Doctor is finished with that thing, your boss will be able to call outer space."
This time she did laugh. "He'd probably settle for the unlisted numbers of every member of the House of Representatives."
Jack made an amused sound. "He thinks too small, Donna."
"He's just focused."
"Focused on you?" Jack leaned in to her, raising his eyebrows.
"On his work." The man was invading her personal space, but somehow she didn't mind.
"What a waste," he murmured.
She gave him a small smile. "I'm okay with it," she said.
"Well, if you're interested in a position where you would be appreciated, we happen to have an opening for an intelligent..."
"DOCTOR!" A young woman's voice called out--the third person, who'd been standing watch over the body. "His arms and legs!"
The Doctor and Jack were over there in seconds. She noted that the Doctor was still holding Josh's cell, and she followed Josh to get a better look at the creature.
The creature, whose arms and legs were definitely pulsing, as if to a heartbeat, and inflating rapidly. She leaned in for a closer look, but Jack put his arm out. "Careful, Donna. Stay back."
"Got a knife?" the Doctor asked. Jack tossed him one and he and the young woman leaned over the body.
"Better stand back." Jack turned to Donna and Josh and herded them back several paces. "It could get messy."
"What *is* that, anyway?" Josh asked.
"Difficult to explain," Jack began.
"I feel like I've stepped into an episode of X-Files," put in Donna.
"Great show," said Jack. "At least the first few seasons."
"Yeah--after a while it just started to go downhill," Donna agreed.
"It's always the way with those auteur shows."
"Can we focus?" Josh snapped. "What the hell is that thing?"
"Well, let me try and ease your minds," said Jack, "And start by saying that it absolutely did not fall to Earth encased in a mysterious meteorite, on the outskirts of some hick town full of hillbillies."
Donna couldn't stop a snort of laughter.
"So we--created?--it?" asked Josh, ignoring her.
"Depends on who you mean by we, I guess," said Jack. "It's classified, as I said, but approved by all NATO member countries." He looked over his shoulder. "How we doing, Doctor?"
"Good to go!" the Doctor called back.
"Well," said Jack, turning back to them and stepping away. "We have some work ahead of us tonight, so I'll have to leave you now."
Donna blinked and frowned as she peered past him. There was nothing to look at but trees and shadows in the moonlight. "Where did the Doctor go? And how did they take that--thing--with them?"
"They've recovered it and are taking it back to the lab for testing," Jack said.
"But it was huge!"
"Nothing's ever that big for that long," Jack said, winking as he backed away.
"Hey, Captain Innuendo," snapped Josh. "How about some answers?"
"Sorry," said Jack, as he backed further into the shadows. "I'm afraid I haven't any more to give. Unless, Donna?"
"Yes?" She stepped forward.
"You could take me up on my offer, get all the answers you want."
"Offer?" Josh exploded. "You were alone with the guy for twenty seconds!"
"*Job* offer," Donna said wearily. "And no."
"YOu sure you won't change your mind?" Jack asked, his grin shining in the darkness.
"I'm sure," she said, returning the smile.
"In that case, here's to future meetings." He looked her up and down appreciatively, and then in a rush of wind, he vanished into the shadows.
"'Here's to future meetings'," mimicked Josh. "How do you find these losers? I mean, it's--HEY! They took my damn cell phone!"
"I just seem to pick them, every time, Josh," she said meaningfully. "And I can't believe you didn't get it back from the Doctor when he was fiddling--"
"Heads up!" a voice from the trees called.
"Jack?" Donna turned and saw the cell phone barreling towards her. She caught it deftly and tossed it to Josh. "Thanks!"
"Farewell, fair Donna!" There was another rush of wind, and then nothing was visible again.
"'Farewell, fair Donna'," Josh mimicked again, head bowed over the cell as he punched its buttons. "God, what an annoying, egotistical, blow--oh, my God. When did you find Burley's home phone number?
"I don't have Burley's home number," she said, turning back toward the cabin.
"Yes, you do. It's right here in my phone," he waggled it at her. "'Burley, Jerry, home'. Right before 'Butterfield, Ron'."
"I haven't updated your phone in weeks," she said, coming back towards him and peering down at the tiny screen.
"You must have." Josh was scrolling through his contact list. "You've put every member of the House of Representatives in here!"
"No, I didn't--oh."
"What?" He didn't look up.
"Jack--the Captain--was talking about how the Doctor could upgrade the software in your phone, and I said you'd be happier with..." She cleared her throat. "The unlisted numbers for the entire House of Representatives."
"And they downloaded that onto my phone? In what, ten seconds?"
"Those secret government agencies."
"I guess." Josh was staring at the glorious treasure of his updated contact list again. "It scares the crap out of me that I have just about the highest clearance it's possible to have and I still have no clue about these things."
"I don't think it's your clearance that's the issue." She couldn't keep the sarcasm completely out of her voice.
He looked up at her. "You're probably right." With a last glance at the phone, he switched it off and pocketed it. "Have I had enough exercise for tonight?"
She nodded. "Enough excitement, anyway."
They turned for home and walked in silence for a bit.
"Grover Cleveland?" he asked, after a few minutes.
"I just meant--"
"He opposed women's suffrage, married a girl thirty years younger than himself, and vetoed bills every second Friday!"
"You'd use the veto every day if you had it."
"Tell me, Donnatella."
"You're nothing like Grover Cleveland," she said wearily.
"That's right," he said, shooting her a grin. "And in what ways, specifically, am I not like him?"
She rolled her eyes. "Ideologically, politically, and personally, you--"
"And one other thing?"
"Physically, also..."
"That's better."
"In all those ways," she said dryly, "You are the complete opposite of Grover Cleveland."
"In fact, I'm an extremely good-looking, full-throated supporter of women's rights, who is in no way attracted to young girls."
"You may actually be a woman yourself."
"Hey!" he sputtered.
Laughing, she sprinted off ahead of him. He chased her all the way back to the cabin. Mission accomplished, she thought as he tackled her. One way or another, he was getting his exercise tonight.