Boring fairy tale both in Chinese and English
很久很久以前，在一座大森林里有一座小屋。小屋里住着一只孔雀、一条蛇、一只猫和一只乌龟。不过今天要讲的，是那只猫回家探亲时发生的故事。
地震
回家后，猫和猫爸爸、猫妈妈住在一起。一天晚上，猫爸爸在看电视，猫妈妈眼神不好，一到晚上就看不清东西，就先去睡了。猫在摆弄她的电脑。到了11点，猫爸爸起来伸个懒腰，觉得有点饿，就拿出一盘花生豆，招呼猫过来吃夜宵。猫爸爸和猫坐在电视前，一边咯吱咯吱嚼油炸花生豆、喝白酒，一边聊天。一直聊到两点钟，两只猫才去睡觉。
第二天，猫妈妈早早起床去锻炼，回来以后就对猫爸爸和猫说：“喂，昨晚地震啦！”
猫爸爸很感兴趣地问：“哦？几点钟？”
“12点左右吧。”猫妈妈回答。
“胡说！”猫爸爸说，“昨晚12点我和小猫在吃夜宵，根本没地震！”
猫妈妈说：“那你是笨蛋！地震了都不知道！”猫爸爸说：“你才是笨蛋！地震了我还能不知道？”
猫躲在角落里不敢吱声……
那一天，猫妈妈都憋着一口气，“大家都感觉到了，就你没感觉到，还不听大家的！”猫爸爸也很生气：“连自己的丈夫和孩子你都不相信，去相信别人？”
猫把电脑搬到角落里，继续躲着……“两个都是笨蛋！确实地震了，咱们家房子结实，所以没感觉到！”
Long long ago, there's a cottage in a big forest. In that cottage live a peacock, a serpent, a cat and a tortoise (All girls!). But the story that will be told today happened when the cat went home to visit her family.
Earthquake
Back at home, Cat lived with Daddy cat and Mommy cat. One night, Daddy cat was watching TV, Mommy cat has a poor eyesight, she can't see anything clearly at night, so she went to bed early. And Cat was playing with her laptop. At eleven o'clock, Daddy cat got up and stretched. He felt hungry, so he took out a plate of peanuts, called Cat to some midnight snack. Daddy cat and Cat sat in front of the TV, chatting while crunching on fried peanuts and drank samshu. The two cats chatted straight to two o'clock in the morning, then went to bed.
The next day, Mommy cat got up early to go out for her morning exercise. As soon as she went back, she told Daddy cat and Cat, "Hey, there's an earthquake last night!"
Daddy cat asked with interest: "Oh? When?"
"About twelve o'clock." Answered Mommy cat.
"Bullshit!" Said Daddy cat, "I was eating midnight snacks with our little cat. There's no earthquake at all!"
Mommy cat said: "Then you're a dumbhead! Don't even know when an earthquake hit you on the head!" Daddy cat said: "You are the dumbhead! I'd SO know it if there is an earthquake!"
Cat silently hid in a corner...
All that day, Mommy cat was silently fuming, "Everyone felt it, only you didn't. And you won't listen!" Daddy cat was also fuming, "You don't even believe in your husband and child. Who would you believe in then?"
Cat moved her laptop to that corner and kept on hiding... "Both dumbheads, those two! There is an earthquake. Our home is strong so we didn't feel it!"