in various reports last week, committee chairman bill thomas (R-calif) has alluded to the coming of my glorious birthday. these allegations have not yet been proven, but they have not been disproven either. it's kind of like when a movie promises that it's good and then you go see it and you don't know if it really was good or not because you don ( Read more... )

Baby tests positive for marijuana; police investigating ( Read more... )

hi livejournal i don't think i write in you.

hey that's mine.

i hate short people who use the only tall urinal. they only do so they can feel taller, but they're not fooling anyone. meanwhile, i have to stand in front of a urinal with the top of it below my crotch so it's all awkward. i could draw you a funny picture of it, but i won't.

i just received a mortgage at work from someone who's address is 1661 pee road. i guess we're makin cities out of piss now.

this morning, i was thinking about olive oil. more specifically, extra virgin oil. i guess i'm not really clear on what that means, i'm not familiar with the varying degrees of virginity. basically what i've come up with, is that extra virgin is olive oil that's never even made out with any other olive oil. i wonder if they even bother to make ( Read more... )

it's getting more sad every day, that never in my life, has anybody ever made me a mix(tape/cd). if anyone would do that for me, that'd be super cool. i'm left out.

hi journal. what's so live about you anyway, you fuck? no seriously, i don't get it. someone explain it to me. i'm sick of pretending to know what shit means. what's wrong with not knowing anything anyway? how are we automatically supposed to understand shit like that? i wasn't born knowing how live livejournal is, so i shouldn't be expected ( Read more... )

did anyone else notice that in the song at the beginning of the fresh prince of bel air, that will smith takes a cab from west philadelphia to bel air? what's that, about 3,000 miles? jesus that must have cost a lot of money. but you know, i don't remember seeing will pay him. all he did was yell "yo homes, smell ya later" accompanied by a ( Read more... )