The wind and bells : 15 Jan 2012
I wish I could go.
Past 2 into the morning , I've been walking in a rectangular shape around the carpet in the living room for the past 3hours, lit with nothing more than the lights outside.
So tired yet so awake, my stomach rumbled begging me to eat but I don't want to. Eating means gaining weight, gaining weight means going back to the past.
I resume the walk around my carpet, even in the dark I could see my foot work markings. This isn't the first time I've done this, walking in the confinements of home. Every now and then I would look towards the window of the living room perpendicular to the shorter side of my carpet, only 2feet away but blocked by 2 bulky wooden chairs with golden covers. Always, I'd imagine I was outside with the wind, the moon, trees and glittering stars but I was always with the walls, closed doors and silence.
I couldn't stand the silence any long so I brought a small bell and hung it on the window, it made a beautiful sound everytime the wind visit, I added more and I've been happier since then. At night, the wind would urged me leave with it, to join the dance with the bells being the music. I couldn't leave but I danced anyway. Sometimes, the bells would coax me to sing with it, in the night or day when the wind visited, I would hum in my head. Tonight, however, the wind hasn't come and the bells have not rang, it feels lonely walking in the darkness.
Past 2 into the morning , I've been walking in a rectangular shape around the carpet in the living room for the past 3hours, lit with nothing more than the lights outside.
So tired yet so awake, my stomach rumbled begging me to eat but I don't want to. Eating means gaining weight, gaining weight means going back to the past.
I resume the walk around my carpet, even in the dark I could see my foot work markings. This isn't the first time I've done this, walking in the confinements of home. Every now and then I would look towards the window of the living room perpendicular to the shorter side of my carpet, only 2feet away but blocked by 2 bulky wooden chairs with golden covers. Always, I'd imagine I was outside with the wind, the moon, trees and glittering stars but I was always with the walls, closed doors and silence.
I couldn't stand the silence any long so I brought a small bell and hung it on the window, it made a beautiful sound everytime the wind visit, I added more and I've been happier since then. At night, the wind would urged me leave with it, to join the dance with the bells being the music. I couldn't leave but I danced anyway. Sometimes, the bells would coax me to sing with it, in the night or day when the wind visited, I would hum in my head. Tonight, however, the wind hasn't come and the bells have not rang, it feels lonely walking in the darkness.